Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Oliver
“Marc, keep your eye on the ball!” I call over the yard, giving him the same instructions I’d give any of my students.
Marc lets out a groan as he picks up the missed football. He throws the ball my way with a lackluster flair as the ball wobbles in the air.
The ball lands just short of my arms, giving me barely enough time to catch it before it plummets to the ground.
My eyes catch Marc’s for a second before he looks away, bored. He didn’t seem happy about us playing catch, but Mom suggested it, so we came out here.
“Marc, come here for a second.”
His head shoots up, and he winces before coming over. The kid is only ten, so his growth spurt hasn’t really started yet. Mom isn’t tall, and neither is George, so he might not get to my height. I got that gene from Pops.
“Do you like football?” I ask when Marc stands in front of me. “It doesn’t seem like you want to be out here at all.”
Marc looks toward the back porch and sliding glass door vacant of anyone but us out here. He lets out a deep sigh. “Not really.”
“Sweet, me neither.” I toss the ball away from us. “I much prefer surfing or skating.”
“You have a skateboard?” Marc exclaims, a gleam now present in his green eyes that are similar to mine.
I ruffle his short, blond hair. “I sure do. Maybe I can show you sometime. Just don’t tell Mom.”
Marc’s grin mirrors my own. It’s his first smile since we came outside. It’s weird to think I now have a brother to do this stuff with—someone that looks up to me the same way I wanted to look up to Pops.
We are similar in so many ways. It’s uncanny. I knew the minute I saw him that he was my brother. Our hair might be different shades, but we have similar eyes. The dead giveaway, though, is our smile. The wide, toothy grin screams our mother.
“Just don’t get discouraged if you fall a little bit at first.”
“Did you fall when you started?” he asks earnestly.
I let out a laugh at the memory. “Oh, I fell a shit-ton…wait, don’t repeat that to Mom.”
“Oliver, I’m not a kid. I know what a cuss word is.” That’s fair. I don’t know the first thing about what kids aren’t supposed to do.
Sally and I shouldn’t have been on the roof, but we did it anyway.
“Have you taught anyone before?” Marc asks slyly.
The first person to come to mind should be Casey.
Skating was Jaxon’s main transport before he really got into motorbikes, and he taught me freshman year.
That was the same year I met Casey, and she wanted to learn.
But the only person that comes to mind is Sally nervously stepping on my board.
How she watched my every move and held onto me for dear life.
The girl who dances on rooftops and jumps off cliffs without a fear in the world was scared of being on a little board.
Eff, I miss her.
She never answered my text apologizing for pushing last time. I foolishly thought she would talk more if it were through texts, but my girl just doesn’t like talking. I just wish I was the exception to that rule.
“Best skater in Alliance, Michigan.” I embellish a little before taking out my phone. I’m not sure if Marc is old enough to call me on my bullshit, but it’s all I got. “Maybe we can convince Mom to let you come down to my neck of the woods.”
Sudden disappointment crosses his features. Did I already fuck up?
“I don’t think that will happen. Mom hates talking about Alliance.
She always looks sad, especially when you go back.
” Marc stops for a second, shifting awkwardly like he’s not supposed to be telling me this.
“I heard her cry when you left. When I asked if she was okay, she just said she’s worried about you. Duties of being a mom and all that.”
She’s worried Pops will come back out of nowhere. I’m stronger now, he can’t threaten us anymore. I don’t think I’ll ever see him again, though. He got what he wanted in the end.
God, I can’t even imagine what Sally is going through. Her parents wished she had never been born, and now she’s forced to figure out what to do with their house. Fuck, I practically told her they had a party when she left.
I should have known they were the same person. Maybe in my head, it was all wishful thinking that someone just like her would show up out of nowhere and fill the emptiness in my heart. The emptiness she had left behind herself.
“Moms tend to worry a lot.” I give my little brother a reassuring grin.
“I don’t want you to get hurt either.” Well, that tugs on the heartstrings.
“Boys, time to come in. Dinner is almost ready. Marc, can you help set the table?” Mom calls from the sliding glass door.
I slap my hand over Marc’s shoulder as we make our way back toward the house. “How can I help?”
“Oh, honey, I’m just happy you’re here.”
“Nope, if I’m gonna be a part of this family, I’m gonna help just like everyone else.”
Emotion flashes in her blue-green eyes before she wipes it away. “Okay, do you think you could grab some drinks from the basement?”
Dinner carries on without delay. I tell Mom and George about my plans to travel. Mom doesn’t hold back her worry, though.
“How long do you think it will take you to get the van put together?” George asks the next morning out on the porch, each of us nursing a beer.
“Well, depends on if anything else goes wrong with the shack. Luckily, I have some good friends that helped pull together some money for when my pipes stopped working.”
“You know, Lansing has a lot of great job opportunities—even for people that don’t go to college.” He gives me a little side-eye. “You know if we had more funds, we’d help send you.”
I instantly shake my head. “That’s not your responsibility. Plus, even if you could, I don’t think college life is for me. I’d feel too trapped, having to be in one place for an extended period.”
Being in Alliance is one thing, but moving to a college town to waste money on an education I don’t even know if I want would be a waste of time.
“Still, there are a ton of jobs here that pay more than a vacation town can afford.”
There’s an eagerness in his voice that I’ve just now picked up on.
“Did you talk to him about it?”
I turn my head to find my mother standing meekly by the door, her eyes bouncing between the both of us.
“I was getting there, but I think you should take over.” George stands to walk away but gives me another glance. “I’ll just say, if you want to move here, there’s a reason we have a guest room.”
Not knowing how to respond, I just give a nod, and he walks inside. Mom walks over and takes his seat before nervously rubbing her hands together.
“Mom?”
“I don’t want you to go back to Alliance,” she bursts out before letting out a sigh like this is the first breath she’s taken tonight.
“Mom, my life is in Alliance. I have two jobs there, and the van is there.”
“I think you know how I feel about that.” I know she doesn’t like the idea of me being filled with this wanderlust. It reminds her too much of Pops. “I just got you back, and I want to selfishly keep you.”
Then I see the worry in her eyes. The wetness gathering in them was the same kind she had before I went back home. I’m not done with Alliance yet.
“Just think about it, okay?”
“I can do that.”
She starts to get up. “Hey, Mom, if someone you really cared about…” I try to find the right words because I’m not going to out Sally. “…were to change a lot, would you still care about them?”
This catches her off guard. She looks toward the house for a beat before looking back at me. “It would depend on how they change in my mind. When I think of them, if my feelings are still the same as before, then I would love them all the same.”
Love.
That word is harder and harder to understand.
“Change can be scary when you can’t control it.” That makes me sound like a fucking child, but it’s true. I want to control the change in my life, not the other way around.
“It can be, but it can also be a blessing. Change brought me George; it brought me Marc; and it brought you back to me. So yeah, change is terrifying, but it’s also exhilarating. That’s why I don’t want to stop you from your dreams.”
Her eyes redden, and I round the table to pull her into a hug.
“Also, to answer your question, if you still love them despite the change, then I think it's worthy of acceptance. They’re probably happier. What comes to mind when you think of them?”
The future.
My tomorrow.
I take my mom’s words to heart as I say my goodbyes and promise to visit soon.
Change can be a good thing, even when you don’t plan for it. Sally is a change I never planned for, but in the end, she’s the best thing to happen to me this summer. Scratch that. She’s the best thing to happen to me ever.
At first, it was odd that my feelings stayed the same. I never thought of my best friend romantically before. Now I can barely think about her without picturing us in bed, screwing each other’s brains out.
If I’m completely honest with myself, I’m not even sure it’s because I view her as a woman. For a long time, I couldn’t picture anyone with me, but Sally fits in perfectly.
The image always fills with Sally, both past and present. It can’t be anyone else.
As I drive through the town, my eyes land on the aquarium we went to on our first visit. A help wanted sign is posted outside of the entrance.
An idea pops into my head.