8. Finn
Finn
I f the others ever found out that I’d pretended to be a dog, I’d never live it down.
I didn’t regret it though. Not when it had got me closer to Chester while he was struggling.
He didn’t know it, but I always listened to every step of his morning routine. His alarm. The buzz of his toothbrush. The pitter patter of his shower. The bubbling of the kettle.
Thanks to my supe hearing, I heard it all. Invading his privacy? Perhaps. But these tiny glimpses into his domestic life reassured my wolf. And me. They told me he was safe, that he was going about his day as normal.
Until this morning.
When I’d heard him hyperventilating.
Ceramic hitting wood too fast.
A thump like a body sliding to the floor.
Panicked whimpers.
No thoughts had entered my mind. I’d just changed direction, powering through the water until I was at the shore nearest his house.
I didn’t think about how weird this would look.
As far as Chester knew, I didn’t know he lived here.
Even if he did know, I had no explanation for why I was completely naked and knocking on his door at six a.m.
I didn’t care. I just needed to know he was safe.
When he didn’t answer, my wolf took over. I couldn’t stop him, and nor did I want to.All I could focus on was making sure Chester was okay.
Getting into his house was ridiculously easy considering the back door was unlocked. I made a note to return to ward it later. That way, no one with ill intent would be able to enter Chester’s home.
Even if he did forget to lock the doors.
When Chester mistook me for a dog, I’d been thrown. My wolf was roughly double the size of a Saint Bernard, and three times as heavy. I could have been mistaken for a husky, I supposed…if it weren’t for the sheer size difference.
Under any other circumstances, I would have been insulted, but when I’d realised Chester was comforted by my presence, I’d leaned into it.
I’d made myself as small as possible. It had been a long time since I’d shown my belly to anyone.
The act of submission was something every part of me usually rebelled against.
Strangely, it was easy to do with Chester. As was showing him the vulnerable part of my throat—a necessity if I wanted to keep him pinned on the ground.
I’d held him in place until his pulse slowed and his breathing returned to normal. And I’d listened. I’d listened in horror to all the things I knew he wouldn’t be comfortable telling my human ears.
Chester had been a victim of domestic abuse.
He was suffering.
He was miserable.
He was lonely.
Each new piece of knowledge set off a series of questions. Who was his ex? How difficult would it be to track him down and teach him the true meaning of pain? What could I do to make Chester happy? What could I do to win his trust? Was he really safe?
It was only the final question that I knew the answer to. Chester would be safe because he had me. Even if I was never anything more than a passing acquaintance to him, I’d still protect him.
Unfortunately for me, lying in his lap in my shifted form yesterday had solidified two things.
The first was that I wanted to pursue things with Chester. There was no point fighting it any longer. My wolf wanted him. I wanted him. Only one other person had ever caught our attention in this way, and she’d never been mine.
Yet I’d lost her all the same.
The second was that Chester wasn’t ready for a relationship. He’d said himself that he couldn’t let anyone close.
Anyone human, that was.
It was that thought that had me shifting after my morning swim. Since I wanted Chester to accept me in both forms eventually, I’d decided to keep going with my dawn performances. Especially now I knew Chester enjoyed the show.
But if me being shifted meant Chester felt comfortable, then that was how I’d spend time with him for now. As I approached his back door, it did occur to me that this could be a betrayal of his trust. If he one day learned the truth, would he hate me for it?
“ I’m so miserable. And so fucking lonely. But I can’t change that. I can’t let anyone close. ”
Fuck it. Future me could talk his way out of this one. Current me was focused on making Chester happy. Besides, he’d only find out if he became my mate, and that wasn’t on the horizon. Not yet, anyway. And assuming Reid didn’t spill the truth at some point…
I shook that thought off. Nope. I wasn’t letting anything deter me.
Sighing internally, I gave a small whine and pawed at Chester’s door. Damn, this is so humiliating.
But then the door opened.
And Chester’s face lit up with the most magnificent grin.
That right there was the moment. The instant I knew I’d debase myself in whatever way was required, so long as it kept him smiling.
“Hey, buddy,” he crooned, dropping to his haunches and opening his arms wide. “You came back!”
I shot into his arms, my wolf vibrating with delight at Chester’s embrace. It wasn’t weird to lick his face, right? Dogs did that. Probably not because they were dying to taste the source of the most mouthwatering scent they’d ever come across, but that was fine. It was all part of the act.
Chester cupped my muzzle, something I’d never let anyone do before. It put his fingers against the most vulnerable part of my throat. Strangely, I didn’t feel the urge to fidget or nudge him off. No, my tail just wagged faster.
“You’re a beautiful boy,” he crooned, still grinning. “And good news, I’ve cooked some bacon for you. You like bacon? I bet you do.”
I trotted into his kitchen after him, careful to keep myself from knocking any of his chairs over. I wasn’t sure if Chester had really considered how large my wolf was, but it was something I was acutely aware of.
Chester hummed as he went to a pan on the stove.
I didn’t usually eat in this form, but I had to admit that it smelled pretty damn delicious.
Not as delicious as Chester, but he’d probably think it was weird if I pinned him down and licked him all over.
Besides, if I was going to do that, this was definitely not the form I wanted to be in.
No. I wanted my human tongue to taste him, my fingers, which could tease him until he whimpered, my voice to praise him.
“Bacon has to be one of the best smells ever,” Chester said as he fussed over the pan. “It reminds me of being a kid. Gran used to make me a bacon sarnie every Saturday. I’d scarf it down with a cup of tea while watching SM:TV Live .”
Had he grown up with his gran? What had happened to his parents? I cursed the fact that I was stuck in this form, unable to ask him more questions.
Thankfully, Chester answered them in his next sentence. He was far chattier with me as a wolf than he’d ever been as a human. “My parents died when I was a toddler, so I was raised by my gran.”
He paused in flipping the bacon, smiling down at it sadly. “She’d be so fucking pissed off if she knew how long it’s been since I cooked bacon. I used to wish she’d survived long enough to meet Matt, but now I’m grateful she died before seeing what I’ve become.”
That bombshell had my wolf vibrating. Not only did it confirm that he’d lost his gran too, but that he still saw himself through his ex’s filter. I suspected he was alone in the world too. That and how he saw himself were both things I’d be changing if I got my way .
“Here you go.” Chester turned with a plate in his hand. He glanced between me and the table, which was a good foot lower than my head. “Hmm, how about I put this here? That’ll be easier for you. You won’t have to bend as much.”
I already knew Chester was considerate, but this was a whole new level. I wasn’t even his pet to care for.
But he was caring for me, in the best way he knew how.
I didn’t immediately snap up the piece of bacon. It meant breaking from my character somewhat, but even as a wolf, I was still me. And I would never eat until my partner was also sat and eating.
Chester isn’t your partner.
I shoved that thought away. The principle was the same. It was basic politeness, for fuck’s sake.
Chester sat down with a small bowl containing a miniscule amount of granola.
He picked up a tub of yoghurt and spooned up a tablespoon’s worth, but instead of adding it to his breakfast, he bit his lip and looked at the carton.
After reading the label for a minute, he tapped the spoon on the side until less than a teaspoon remained.
If I’d had eyebrows at that moment, I would have raised them. Chester didn’t strike me as a health nut, but even if he was one, surely he could have more than that if he fancied it?
Chester stirred his tiny portion with a sigh. “I know, I shouldn’t be having this amount of sugar, but I’m so damn hungry.”
If he was hungry, why wasn’t he eating the bacon? Fine, it wasn’t the healthiest choice, but I had this sickening sensation that health wasn’t the motivating factor behind Chester’s choices.
“Matt always gave me shit over what I ate,” he said glumly. “It’s one habit I can’t seem to break. ”
A low growl started in my throat, but I clamped down on it before Chester could hear it. Instead, I used my snout to nudge the plate of bacon in Chester’s direction.
His spoon froze in mid-air. “What are you doing, buddy?”
I pushed the plate closer before sitting back on my haunches expectantly.
Chester’s mouth popped open as he looked between me and the plate. “You want me to eat some?”
A dog would probably bark, but I honestly wasn’t sure I could make that noise. I had other ways of getting my point across though.
Padding around the table, I laid my giant head on Chester’s leg. I batted my eyelashes up at him. Go on. Eat the bacon. You know you want it.
Chester paused before bursting into laughter. The hand not holding the spoon ruffled the fur between my ears. “Are you sure you’re a dog? Because I’ve never come across one who’s willing to give up bacon.”
Nope, definitely not a dog. Rather a wolf who was intent on seeing his human properly fed.
I butted my head against Chester’s hand.
“Okay, okay,” he said bemusedly. “How about we share? A piece for you and a piece for me.”
I’d have preferred for him to eat the whole plate, but I’d take it. Chester offered me a piece first, but I ignored it, staring at him.
“Fine, I’ll go first.” Chester’s spare hand ruffled my fur. “You’re a bit ridiculous, you know.”
Chester bit into the slice of bacon, his head falling back as he groaned. I mentally recorded the sound to replay later. When I was human. Behind a locked door with my hand on my cock .
“That’s so good.” He took another bite. “Fuck, I’ve missed bacon.”
I gave a quiet chuff of pleasure. Chester knew how to be happy, he just needed to be reminded that it was okay to let himself be.
Unfortunately, Chester mistook my chuff for something else. “Sorry, boy. You’ve been so good waiting for me. Here—” He picked up a piece of bacon. “—this is for you.”
I didn’t need to try and eat it like a dog.
Thanks to how infrequently I ate in this form, I made a right mess.
Not that Chester seemed to mind, immediately offering me another piece with a chuckle.
At which point I sat up, ears pricked, waiting until he rolled his eyes and ate another slice himself first.
That was how I spent the first of what I hoped would be many meals with Chester; taking it in turns to wolf down slices of bacon.
Pun intended.
Once the plate was clean, Chester pushed it away.
I immediately returned my head to his lap, unable to resist snuggling against his stomach.
God, what I wouldn’t give to be in my human form and doing this.
I could almost picture waking up in the mornings with him.
I was a massive cuddler, not that I’d indulged myself in a long time.
I hadn’t lived as a monk since Sarah died, but equally, I’d never had anything more than a one-night stand.
Most of them couldn’t even be called that.
A hookup in the alley behind the pub would be more accurate.
I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed intimacy until now. Chester didn’t know he was touching me, but I did.
Suddenly, I never wanted him to stop.
First though, I had to get him comfortable doing so in my other form. I had to show him that that version of me was as unlikely to hurt him as this one was.
A plan began to form in my mind. It’d take time, but that was what Chester needed—time to get to know me. To learn to trust me.
Until then, I’d keep him company like this.
“You’re such a good boy,” Chester said quietly, his hand resting on the top of my head. “The bestest boy ever.”
I wanted to tell Chester that he was the one who’d been good. To praise him until my words erased whatever lies his ex had filled his head with. To learn the other things that made Chester smile. Groan. Whimper.
Fuck, I wanted to learn it all.
“I don’t know how or why you found me, but I’m so glad. Your owner will probably come looking for you soon. I hate that, which makes me selfish as fuck because you’ll have to leave. Until then, I’ll keep giving you all the bacon and cuddles you want.”
I smiled internally. Chester was wrong on both counts. Wanting company didn’t make him selfish.
And I wasn’t going anywhere.