25. Finn
Finn
A large part of me had been expecting Chester to refuse my invitation. I’d thought I’d need to plant the seed and let it grow before he was ready to take me up on it. But Chester had proven me wrong by accepting on the spot.
I’d suggested popping via his house so he could shower off the day and change if he wanted.
The fervently grateful look he’d given me told me that was the right shout.
Once he was ready, we’d driven over to the clan house with Chester behind the wheel.
I could’ve shifted and let him ride me, but I wasn’t sure he was ready for that yet.
Not that form of riding, anyway. From the heated glances he sent my way every few minutes, the other kind was definitely on the table.
I tried not to focus on that too much though. What we were about to do was more important. Chester was about to meet those closest to me. He was going to be given a glimpse into the clan that was my home and purpose.
Not all the members, obviously. The vast majority had no idea what was going on between Chester and me, and I didn’t intend on letting them know any time soon.
I hadn’t even brought it up with the council.
They’d push for me to mate him, not liking that I was bringing an unbonded human into the heart of our lands.
Since that wasn’t happening until Chester was ready and willing, I was keeping his presence quiet.
Fortunately, the clan house was a refuge for myself and the others in my inner circle.
None of the others would stop by unless there was an emergency.
There was just Calan, Evan, and Logan for Chester to contend with.
Didn’t seem like a lot, but their personalities could equal those of several people.
Especially Logan.
Fuck, maybe I should’ve waited. If he didn’t like them, would we be able to keep going forwards? Or would I have to let him go before we even started?
Please don’t make me choose between him and the clan.
I wasn’t sure who I was praying to. God existed, but I hadn’t seen much of her benevolence around these parts. In truth, any faith I’d had had been lost the night Sarah and Maria were taken from this world.
Chester followed my directions, parking his car beside Calan’s outside the main clan house. He peered at the structure through the window. “So, this is where you live.”
“Aye.” I tried to view it through Chester’s eyes.
The weather worn logs that made up the external walls.
The long porch surrounding it, large enough for several clan members to lounge on during the brief days of summer the Highlands were granted.
The rambling outbuildings to one side that housed our livestock.
The cottages that spun off in the opposite direction.
“Well, I have a cottage too, but I tend to sleep in the main building.”
“Why?”
I considered his question carefully. “I think I’d tell other people that it’s more convenient. That if something happens, at least I’m close by.”
He hummed. “That’s what you tell other people. What are you going to tell me?”
I chewed the inside of my cheek. It wasn’t that I wanted to hide anything from Chester, but I’d never opened up about this.
Not even to Calan. Certainly not to Danny.
“I think…I think it’s because I’m too scared to leave.
To stop working. I wasn’t here the night Sarah and Maria were killed.
In the back of my mind, part of me wonders if it would’ve gone down differently if I had been. ”
Chester’s hand slid over mine and squeezed. “I’m sorry, Finn. That’s a helluva burden to carry.”
I nodded. I wasn’t going to tell him it was okay. It wasn’t. I’d accepted it, but that didn’t mean I’d ever be okay with it. “I only leave the clan now if I absolutely have to. It’s easier than before. With Calan, Logan and Evan here, I know the clan is in safe hands.”
“You’ve slept over at my house a few times.”
“Yes. I don’t seem to worry about it as much if I’m with ye.”
“Why do you think that is?”
It was an excellent question. I had to search hard for the answer. “I think I’ve known for a while that the clan is safe without me here, but I think it took meeting you to realise I could be okay without the clan. Not permanently, of course, but temporarily.”
I lifted his hand and kissed it. “I thought I was keeping ye safe, Chester. But in a way, you were doing the same thing for me. Ye were teaching me that I could be happy away from here too. That I can have a life that doesn’t revolve solely around the clan.”
Chester’s smile was like a Scottish primrose—slow to bloom, but the beauty was worth the wait. “I’m glad. I’m learning that it’s healthy to step outside of your comfort zone.”
The front door opened and Logan waved ostentatiously. “Speaking of which, we’re about to be interrupted. Ready to take another step with me?”
Chester clocked Logan and chuckled. “Am I right in thinking he’s going to make this as difficult for you as possible?”
I glared at Logan warningly before sighing. “Ye sure are.”
“ S o, Chester, did Finn’s dick have cobwebs on it the first time you saw it?”
Chester turned scarlet at Logan’s question, choking on a mouthful of wine he’d been in the process of drinking. Alarm shot through me as I flashed back to last night. I didn’t think I’d forget the desperate, awful silence of him unable to breathe for a long time.
If ever.
Fortunately, Chester cleared his throat quickly, his voice a little raspy as he addressed Logan. “Cobwebs?”
We were sat around the dining table. Chester, Calan, Evan, Logan, and me. One of our warriors was out guarding Reid tonight so I could have my full inner circle here. Everyone was on their best behaviour, knowing how important this was to me.
Everyone, that was, except Logan. He seemed to be on a mission to make this as uncomfortable as he possibly could.
“Yes.” Logan nodded enthusiastically. He’d finished his steak several minutes ago while the rest of us were still working our way through ours.
He’d probably say he was just hungry, but I suspected it was that he wanted to have his mouth empty so he could talk with fewer interruptions from the rest of us.
“Because he’s been single so long. Seriously, it’s been years since he’s been laid. ”
“Has not,” I muttered, flushing. It hadn’t, right? There was that night in Edinburgh back in…
Oh fuck. Okay. Maybe it had been longer than I’d thought.
“He’s in full working order, right?” Logan kept his voice hushed, like he was discussing a serious injury rather than my sexual capabilities. “He hasn’t forgotten how to use it?”
I prepared to kick Logan under the table, but to my surprise, Chester laughed. “Nah, he’s all good. Shipshape and shiny. No cobwebs in sight.”
Calan shot me an approving look and I relaxed slightly. Chester was holding his own with Logan, just as I’d hoped he would. This was the version of him I loved to see. The one that could tease and play.
The one that was happy. Unencumbered by worries about what everyone else was thinking about him.
It was probably helped by Logan demonstrating that he didn’t give a shit what the rest of us thought of him. Who knew, maybe his bulletproof self-confidence would rub off on Chester?
Logan wriggled his brows across the table at Chester. “Is he really loud in bed? I feel like he is.”
Okay, there was being himself, and then there was being a dick. My boot met Logan’s shin and he jumped. As I pulled it back, I hit another foot and then a third. Sure enough, Logan shot glares at not just me, but Evan and Calan too. “What the fuck was that for? ”
“Stop being so inappropriate,” Evan hissed. “Do I need to take you outside to knock some of your bullshit out?”
Logan batted his lashes. “Oh, please do, baby. I’ll be back in here within thirty seconds having wiped the floor with you.”
Calan gripped the back of Logan’s neck hard enough to make him wince.
“It’ll take you longer if it’s both of us,” Calan said, his tone even. “Don’t fuck this up.”
For Finn. Those were the words he wasn’t saying. My brother met my gaze and I gave him a small smile in thanks.
Once Calan released him, Logan faced Chester with a sheepish smile. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
Chester’s face was flushed, but the smile he gave Logan was authentic. “You’re fine. You’ve stopped this dinner being awkward, which I appreciate.”
I snorted, my knee brushing Chester’s. “Sure he hasn’t made it more awkward?”
“Nah.” Chester fiddled with his fork before looking at each of the males on the other side of the table. “It’s been fun.”
Fun. That was something Chester had talked about many times while I’d been Buddy. About how he felt he used to have fun, but somewhere down the line with Matt, he’d forgotten how to do it.
I slid an arm around his shoulders, kissing his temple. “Logan is definitely fun.”
“And when he annoys you too much,” Calan said, “I’ll pinch his phone for you.”
Logan bared his teeth at our enforcer. “You wouldn’t dare. You know I need my boba.”
Chester sat forward, curious. “Wait, how does losing your phone stop you getting boba? ”
“He lost his bank card a while back,” I said, laughter rumbling through the words. “Since then, he’s been reliant on his phone to purchase things. Including absurdly coloured drinks that must be staining his insides an unusual shade.”
Evan eyed Logan thoughtfully, spinning his steak knife in his hand. “Want me to cut him open and test the theory?”
Chester flinched beside me and I held him a little tighter. “Don’t worry, Evan’s just joking.”
He wasn’t, but there was no need to traumatise Chester.
Evan backtracked fast. “Yep, all jokes here.”
“No he wasn’t,” Logan said indignantly. “And how come I got kicked and he didn’t?”
“Because Evan knows when to drop it,” I said warningly.
“Please.” Logan rolled his eyes. “If Chester’s going to spend more time here, he needs to get used to the fact that death and disembowelment threats are part of our daily discourse.”
He wasn’t wrong, but did he have to bring it up during Chester’s first visit?
I turned to Chester with a sigh. “Sadly, he’s right. Supes tend to veer towards the more violent end of the scale because we heal fast and are difficult to kill permanently. Not that you need to worry about that violence being aimed in your direction.”
No, my inner circle looked scandalised at the thought.
“We would never,” Logan said. “Even if you weren’t Finn’s…date, we’d still protect you. That’s how it is for all humans under our jurisdiction.”
Evan winced, shifting in his seat. I knew exactly what he was thinking about. From how Chester tensed beside me, he did too.
“Reid will come around,” Chester said quietly. Evan looked at him in surprise. “What he went through wasn’t your fault. That was on his family, not you.”
Evan hadn’t listened when I told him this, and from the tight smile he offered Chester, I knew this wouldn’t make a difference either.
Logan spoke up suddenly. “Chester, what made you go into floristry?”
Gratitude filled me as Logan and Chester fell into easy conversation. It gave Evan some time to pull himself together.
Not completely though. I wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to do that. The bloke wasn’t sleeping. Was barely eating.
He was letting the guilt eat him alive instead.
He managed to get it together enough to join in and ask Chester a few questions. I kept a careful eye on him though, and I knew both Logan and Calan were doing the same.
The rest of the dinner passed in a flash. Despite all my fears, Chester was relaxed. I’d heard him laugh more tonight than I ever had before.
We’d cleared our plates when Chester confessed something suddenly. “I’m not going to lie, I was nervous to meet you all.”
My chest swelled. Not at what he’d said, but because he was opening up. This was a man who’d been taught that letting others close led to pain, but here he was, putting himself out there.
For me.
Calan frowned. “Why?”
“Because I like Finn.” Chester shot me a shy smile, his hand finding its way to my thigh. “I didn’t want to fuck this up. But you’ve been so welcoming and kind. I can see why Finn is so happy here with you all.”
Chester hadn’t said those words hoping to win the others over.
He genuinely meant them. But the result was the same regardless.
All they’d wanted was for me to find someone who wanted me like I wanted them.
Someone who cared enough to try. Who understood the vital role the clan played in my life and overall happiness.
With a few simple sentences, Chester had hit each of those notes.
The reaction from the other three was instantaneous. Evan smiled. Logan gave a little squeal.
And my brother, the grumpy fucker of a wolf, gave Chester a massive grin.“Welcome to the clan, Chester. I think you’ll be happy here too.”