24. Chester
Chester
I parked in my usual spot outside the back of the shop and gaped in surprise at the car in the spot next to mine.
Reid had beaten me here.
My assistant was good at being punctual the one day a week when he opened the shop for me. The other four though? They were very hit and miss. He was often late, on time at best.
Never once had he been early.
I got out of the car as fast as I could. “Is everything okay, Reid?”
He frowned at me over his coffee as he got out of his own car. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“You’re here early.” I let out a relieved sigh, unlocking the back door. “I panicked in case something had happened. You haven’t had any more trouble from your family?”
“Nope.” Reid waved at the woods before stepping through the door I was holding open. “We can thank my bodyguards for that. ”
I peered between the trees. “I can’t see anyone.”
“Nah, me either,” Reid called over his shoulder as he walked to stash his bag in the office. “Calan’s out there somewhere though. Logan sat on my sofa all night, but Calan refused to come in when it was time for them to switch over. Said he was fine outside. Stubborn git.”
“They’re guarding you?”
“Apparently.” Reid shrugged as he reappeared. “Think it’s overkill, personally, but it’s their time to waste, I guess.”
“Are they…” I tried to think about how to phrase my question. It felt bizarre that we were even having this conversation. In the past twenty-four hours, everything I’d thought I knew about the world I lived in had been flipped on its head. “Are they strong enough to fight your family?”
Reid snorted. “Please. Finn and Calan have more strength in their pinkies than my entire cl—family put together. And that’s before we add Logan into the equation.”
“But Logan’s tiny.”
“Logan’s psychotic,” Reid said flatly. “Don’t underestimate him based on his size. Doesn’t mean anything with wo—ah, blokes like him.”
My lips twitched as I realised Reid didn’t know what I’d discovered the night before. “Did you mean to say wolf shifters?”
Reid paused where he’d been reaching to switch the computer on. He blinked comically at me for a few seconds, and then a massive grin split his face. “Shut the front door. Did Finn reveal his furry little secret?”
Laughter burst from me. “Man, I can’t wait to tell him you called it that.”
“He did.” Reid clapped his hands in glee. “Oh my god, does this mean you’re mated? ”
My laughter died away. “What? No, of course not. Why would it?”
Reid tapped his feet on the floor. “Supes usually only reveal their true nature to their mates.”
“Well, he didn’t have much of a choice.” I explained what’d happened the night before. How Finn had shifted to save me.
“Stop it.” Reid looked more delighted than ever. “Are you trying to tell me that Finn, the terrifying and almighty leader of the great McCarthy Clan, has been spending weeks pretending to be a domestic pet?”
Shit. “You can’t say anything. This stays between us.”
He pouted. “Spoil my fun.”
“I mean it, Reid,” I said warningly. “You’re not to speak about this to anyone. Especially Logan.”
“Fine.” He sighed dramatically. “It’s a good thing he was there.”
“It is.” I flashed back to the sensation of being unable to take a breath. Of knowing I was choking but not being able to do anything about it. “It would’ve ended very differently if he hadn’t been.”
Reid shuddered. “Yeah. Thank fuck. Still, I can’t believe he spent all that time with you posing as a dog.”
“It was cute,” I said defensively.
“I didn’t say it wasn’t.” Reid smiled kindly. “It’s incredibly sweet when you think about it. Finn could probably tell you weren’t ready to let anyone in and realised he could spend time with you that way.”
My mouth gaped open. “How’d you figure that out?”
“It’s not hard when you pay attention.” Reid spun in his chair to finally turn the computer on. “You’ve got walls higher than the Great Wall of China. ”
My lips twitched. “Is the Great Wall of China known for being high? I thought it was more famous for its length.”
“Semantics.” Reid waved a hand dismissively. “Did he tell you everything? About the clan and him being the leader and all that?”
“Yep.” I scratched at my stubble. I hadn’t bothered to shave this morning. Matt wouldn’t have let me leave the house without doing so. Finn, however,had nipped alongmy jaw before asking if we had time to see how it felt on his thighs before work.
Sadly, we hadn’t. I’d added it to my list for the next time we were together though. Whenever that might be. Finn hadn’t said when he’d next see me, just that he would.
And you’re okay with that?
The little voice was still there, but quieter now. Somewhere between Finn holding me close all night and making me breakfast, its power had been eroded.
It was such a simple thing Finn had done this morning. His casual mention of taking turns, as though that was something one did in a relationship. You looked after each other instead of it all being one sided.
I’d never had that. Ever. Even before Matt, I’d been more of a caretaker. Up until Matt, I hadn’t minded.
Funny how someone abusing a particular part of your personality could make you hate it.
I had to admit, Finn taking care of me had felt good. Better than good. Like a glimpse of a life that could be mine.
If I was brave enough to accept it.
“Your family,” I said slowly, bringing myself back to the present. “They’re shifters, but you’re not?”
“Yep.” Reid spun the chair from side to side. “I’m the anomaly. My dad was convinced for a while that Mum had cheated, but when he heard of a few cases happening in Australia and Italy, he realised it was possible. Just…highly irregular.”
“That can’t have been easy,” I said quietly. “Growing up somewhere where you’re seen as different.”
Reid stopped spinning. “I think it was the type of difference that bothered them.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was weaker. Slower. Prone to illness and injury.” Reid’s voice was more bitter than I’d ever heard it before. “Instead of being an asset, I was a liability.”
My brows drew together. “I’m sorry they made you feel like that, Reid. I don’t know you as well as I should, and that’s my fault, but what I do know is awesome.”
Reid sank lower in his chair. “I’m perpetually late, scattered, unable to focus unless I’m interested, and completely unlovable as far as my family’s concerned.”
My heart ached as I stared at the younger man. Was this how Finn saw me? As someone who was suffering because they viewed themselves through the filter of others? Of those who’d abused them? Who’d beaten them down again and again until they truly believed this was who they were?
Fuck. Talk about a wakeup call.
Well Finn didn’t seem like he was giving up on me, so I wasn’t going to give up on Reid either.
Walking over to him, I put my hands on both of his shoulders. “Right, you listen here, Reid Clarkson. I know you’ve been told a lot of bullshit about yourself, and not just by your family, but now I’m going to tell you some stuff.”
A little smirk ghosted his lips. Nothing like the one he usually wore, but it was a start. “Because you’re more worthy of listening to than them?”
“Yes.” I nodded for good measure. “I am, because I’m going to tell you the truth. You, Reid, are caring. You refused to give up on trying to get me out of my shell despite all my grumpiness.”
“You were very grumpy. I get it now though. I should’ve been tempting you with bears instead of twinks.”
Reid’s attempt to derail what I was telling him suggested he responded to kindness about as well as I did.
But, just like Finn, I wasn’t giving up until he heard me.
“You’re tenacious. You don’t give up on anything.
If a design isn’t going how you pictured, you don’t throw it out, you keep working at it until it’s just right. ”
Reid was blushing now, but I pushed on. “You’re ridiculously intelligent. You might think your brain is scattered, but I wish I had a tenth of the knowledge you do. And you’re kind.”
I crouched in front of him when he ducked his head, refusing to let him escape this. It was too important for him to not listen.
“Most importantly, even if you were none of these things, you still wouldn’t have deserved what you were put through as a child. No one should be abused. No one, Reid. Including you.”
A single tear rolled down his cheek.
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” I continued. “I’m so fucking sorry, Reid. It’s not your fault though.”
“But I was born human.”
“So fucking what?” I said hotly. “You didn’t choose who or what you were born as. No one does. You were a goddamned child, Reid. A child . What they did wasn’t okay. It’s never okay to abuse or manipulate someone the way they did you.”
As I said those words to Reid, it was almost as though they were echoing in my mind, coming back to me in a different voice.
Not Matt’s though.
Finn’s.
You didn’t deserve it.
It’s never okay to abuse someone.
What he did was wrong.
It’s on him.
Not you.
“And you’re not unlovable,” I said. “Your family are the ones incapable of love. That doesn’t make you incapable of being loved. You deserve it, the same as anyone else does.”
Reid used the sleeve of his hoody to swipe at his eyes. “Thanks, Chester. You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.”
Neither did I.
“You’re welcome,” I said roughly, getting to my feet. “You’re also one hell of a florist. Something you should remind yourself of by getting started on these orders.”
Reid hiccoughed a laugh. “Aye, aye, Captain.”
He was all the way to the cooler door before he paused and spoke over his shoulder. “You know, if I’m deserving of love, that means you are too. Right?”
I froze, wondering if Reid knew how deep this conversation had hit me too. I swallowed around the lump of fear. It was smaller than ever, barely there before it disappeared. “Yeah, Reid. I think you might be right.”
I was locking the door that night, singing to myself quietly, when a throat cleared. Jumping out of my skin, I whirled around. “Jesus, Finn. You scared the life out of me.”
“Sorry.” His lips twitched in amusement as he pushed off my car and strolled towards me. “Didn’t mean to startle you. Nor did I mean to stop you singing. You’ve a beautiful voice, Chester.”
I blushed. “You only heard a line.”
“Well Buddy’s heard ye sing every morning in the shower, so I can confirm that I’m right. I love to hear you sing.”
Fuck, he just melted my heart. “Gran used to love hearing me sing.”
“Your gran had good taste.” He smiled before it faded slightly. “I wish I could’ve met her.”
The age-old ache returned. “Me too. She would’ve loved you.”
Finn looked almost shy. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.” There wasn’t a shred of doubt in my mind. I knew that as much as she would’ve hated Matt, she would’ve loved Finn. One considered my needs, the other didn’t.
There would’ve been no contest as to who she would’ve rooted for. Probably flirted with too, knowing Gran.
Finn pulled me in for a kiss, leaving me with a goofy smile on my face.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Might’ve missed you.”
“Well, I might’ve missed you too.” The playful tone was easier to find after my talk with Reid earlier. I splayed my hands over his naked pecs, unable to stop myself from stroking down his tight abs. “Not that I’m complaining, but is there a reason why you’re wandering around shirtless? ”
Finn grinned. “I shifted to run over here. You should feel lucky I’m wearing shorts.”
Again, the flirtatious response flowed like water. “Lucky isn’t what I’m feeling there. Disappointed would be more accurate.”
Heat flashed in Finn’s eyes as he lowered his face to nuzzle at my neck. “I like this side of you, m’eudail. So much so that I’m reconsidering my previous idea and thinking of taking you inside to see how sturdy those counters of yours are instead.”
Tempting as that was, I was more interested in just spending time with Finn.
He’d had plenty of time to learn about me as Buddy, and now I wanted the same.
I wanted to know everything about this man who’d treated me with more care and consideration than any man had before. “What was your original idea?”
Finn nuzzled my neck once more before pulling away with a sigh. “I was going to see if you wanted to come to dinner at the clan house. The way you met Calan and the others wasn’t at all how I’d planned, so I was hoping we could have a do-over.”
I froze. “You want me to meet your family?”
“Aye.” Finn’s hands bracketed my waist, holding me steady. “We can wait if it’s too soon, but they’re important to me. My life there is important. I’d like to introduce you to it. If not tonight, then maybe soon?”
It was on the tip of my tongue to refuse him. To run and hide in the isolation of my house. Where it was safe.
Not safe. Lonely.
“Yes,” I found myself saying. “I’d love that. Tonight is good.”