Chapter 36
Finn
F uck, it’s coming down hard.
Realizing I forgot to pick up chicken feed this week, I ran to town after I dropped Tucker off with my dad. I swear, dang near every weekend lately, he’s begging me to go to his grandpa’s for a sleepover. Knowing my dad, he’s probably spoiling him with ice cream and letting him stay up well past his bedtime. Gentry Moore was a stickler as a father when I was growing up. Rules were rules, you followed them. End of discussion. But now, as a grandpa? Well, he’s all kinds of fun and lenient. What his grandson wants, he gets.
I laugh to myself at the jarring differences between Dad Gentry and Grandpa Gentry. Shit, if I were Tucker, I’d probably be eager to go over there too.
Barely able to see the road in front of me, I turn on my blinker and hook a right, pulling onto the road that eventually leads to the entrance of the ranch. Spotting a familiar-looking car up ahead, I strain my eyes, trying to get a better look through the sheets of rain pounding down on my windshield.
Is that Ash?
I speed up, wanting to get a little closer. He left a couple of hours ago to go talk to his sister, but I haven’t heard from him. I’ve been anxious to hear how it goes. I hate seeing him so down lately, and not being able to do anything to make him feel better. Unlike him, I’m not nearly as understanding about the way Violet’s been shutting him out since the barbecue. I’ve contemplated more times than I can count in the last week going over there myself and giving her a piece of my mind. The only reason I haven’t yet is because I can’t stand the thought of making Ash feel any worse than he already does.
As I edge up toward the vehicle in front of me, it becomes clear that it is Ash. Flicking my gaze down to the speedometer, I note how slowly he’s driving. He’s going at least ten under the speed limit, and he’s swerving all over the lane. It could be the rain… Or it didn’t go well with Violet, and he’s upset. The latter has a sharp pain stabbing into my chest. It’s raining too hard to be sure, but it doesn’t look like he’s spotted me in his rearview mirror yet. It’s not long before we come up to the turn for the ranch, and he doesn’t use his signal before turning onto the gravel road.
By the time we pull up in front of the house, I’m on the edge of my seat, the need to get to Ash overwhelming. Something’s wrong, I can feel it. Slamming the truck in park, I jump out and rush around to where he’s getting out. His red-rimmed eyes flash up to mine, and the shock on his tear-soaked face is all the confirmation I need to know he didn’t realize I was behind him. As his gaze settles on me, his arms drop to his sides and his shoulders slump, his body seemingly frozen in place. My heart cracks open as I watch his chin quiver. Closing the distance in two long strides, I haul him into my chest, wrapping my arms around him as his circle my waist.
“I’m here,” I murmur before pressing a kiss to his now soaking wet hair. “I’m here, baby. I got you.”
Emotion stings the backs of my eyes when I feel his shoulders shudder with his sobs. He’s clinging onto me like he’s afraid he’ll lose me. Like he’ll crumble if I let go. As if I could ever let him go. Standing with my arms wrapped around Ash, the rain pours down on us, our clothes quickly getting soaked, but I don’t care. I’ll stand out here all night if it means getting to comfort him.
“Whatever happened, it’ll be okay,” I breathe out, resting my cheek on top of his head. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, Ash. You don’t have to do this alone, ’cause I’m here.”
A hiccup spills past his lips before he says, “I told her how I felt all these y-years.” Lifting his head off my chest, he meets my gaze, and my heart breaks a little more, seeing how dejected he looks. “I told her, but it was pointless. She doesn’t fucking care. She doesn’t care about any of it.”
“She said that?” My blood fucking boils.
Offering me a lazy half-shrug, he nods. “Not in so many words, but yeah.” Ash drops his gaze to my chest, chewing on his cheek for a moment before he adds, “Then she asked what I would do if she told me to pick between you two.”
It feels like I’ve been sucker punched in the gut. No. What if he picked her? Obviously, he’d choose her. She’s his sister. I can’t fucking compete with that. But like hell am I going down without a fight.
Throat tight, I ask the one question I don’t want to ask, but I’m too nervous not to. “What, uh… What did ya say?”
Ash snaps his gaze up to mine, brows knit with what looks like confusion. When his lips part, a hot puff of air fans across my chin. “I told her I wouldn’t choose,” he says, like it’s the only obvious answer. “And told her if she made me pick you or her, she wouldn’t like the answer.”
I should feel guilty about the way relief floods my system, but I don’t. I’m not a total idiot who’s out of touch with reality. I realize Violet has every right to be upset and deal with this however she has to, but I also think she’d be incredibly selfish to not get over it for her brother’s sake. It’s clear she thought what we had was more serious than it was, but still. There was never talk of marriage or a future of any kind, she never met my kid in that way, was never introduced to my family as my girlfriend. It would be wild to me if she truly couldn’t accept what Ash and I have after she’s had some time to sit with it and process it.
He’s her brother. His happiness should be important to her.
My lip curls into a grin I try to bite back, but it’s no use. “You said that, baby?”
His splotchy, wet face brightens with a matching grin, and he breathes out a small laugh. “Yes.” The single word is spoken with so much conviction, it sends a layer of goosebumps all over my arms. “Are you surprised?”
I bring my hand up, wiping the wet strands off his forehead. “Well, yeah. Not ’cause I doubt how you feel about me, but ’cause she’s your sister. As much as it would hurt, and as much as I wouldn’t want to accept it, I wouldn’t hold it against you for choosin’ family.”
His brows dip as he lightly shakes his head. “That’s the thing, Finn. You’re my family too. You and Tucker have become such integral parts of my life, and you’ve both woven your way into my heart. I could never choose to walk away from that. Could never walk away from you two.” His voice cracks and his eyes well up. My chest squeezes as he continues. “In such a short amount of time, you’ve become such a safe space for me. The way you care for me, the way I know I can count on you. And Tucker… I’ve never loved a kid as much as I love Tuck. I don’t have kids of my own, obviously, but I imagine the love and the bond I have with him to be that of how a parent feels about their kid.”
His eyes dart away, and his cheeks turn a brilliant shade of pink like he didn’t mean to say that.
“That probably sounded really fucking creepy,” he grumbles, shifting between his feet. “I’m… I’m not saying I’m his parent, of course. B-but I’m just saying?—”
Pinching his chin between my fingers, I crash my mouth down on his, cutting off his adorable, nervous rambling. Ash breathes out a sigh as my tongue parts his lips, gliding along his. He clings onto me with tight fists as he tilts his head, allowing me to take the kiss deeper. My heart thuds against my ribs, skin ablaze even in the pouring rain, and I can’t help but smile against his mouth as I feel the stress leave his body. As I feel him relax in my arms.
A whirlwind of sensations floods my system, from a misty fog clouding my mind, making me feel like I’m floating, to a tingling along every inch of my flesh, down to the flutters swarming my belly. Brushing the back of my hand along his sharp jawline, a chill wracks through me at feeling the scratchy stubble under my touch. A reminder—one of many—that he’s the opposite of everything I ever thought I wanted, yet being with him couldn’t make any more sense. Ash is everything I never knew I needed.
My chest swells with this feeling inside of me. The feeling that pumps blood through my veins, that makes my heart beat. The feeling I couldn’t hold back even if I wanted to. Resting my forehead against Ash’s, I open my eyes, finding his beautiful mismatched gaze staring back at me, the sadness filling them when he got here replaced with something else entirely. Something gentle. They’re overflowing, and it’s like I can hear his every thought, feel his every emotion. And with my heart thundering a mile a minute, the way Ash looks at me gives me the courage to say what’s on the tip of my tongue. What I’ve known for a while now, but haven’t said.
“I love you, Ash.” Each word is spoken clear and intentional. I need him to hear me, believe me, and know it’s him I choose. “I’ve fallen in love with you, and it’s something I never saw coming, but can’t imagine living without now. I don’t expect you to say it back if you’re not ready or you don’t feel the same, but I couldn’t go on another minute without you knowing how I felt. How real this is for me.”
Ash bites down on his bottom lip as he watches me for a moment, a tear spilling down his cheek along with raindrops before he wraps his arms around my neck and kisses me hard enough to nearly knock me off my feet.
“I love you,” he breathes into my mouth in between kisses, and my heart explodes at hearing him say those words to me. “I love you.” His tongue rolls against mine, my skin on fire. Ash kisses me with everything he has and then some. “Take me inside.” Kiss. “Right now.” Kiss. “I need you, daddy.”
Securing my hands underneath his ass, I hoist him up into my arms, blindly walking us up the steps and inside the house. In my room, I toss him onto the bed, reaching behind myself and tugging my soaked t-shirt over my head. My heart hammers against my ribcage as I let the shirt drop to the floor before quickly wriggling out of my wet jeans and adding them to the wet pile. Ash shuffles onto his knees, removing each layer of clothing on his body one by one before he’s sitting before me, completely naked and hard.
His thick cock juts out, the decorated tip already glistening with his sticky arousal. My mouth waters, dying for a taste. Male cum is not something I ever envisioned myself liking, much less loving, yet here we are. And maybe it’s only Ash. Maybe he’s my exception. His masculine, musky scent, especially when he’s been running around all day. His sweat—both taste and smell— is like a drug I can’t get enough of. The light smattering of hair connecting his navel to his groin drives me wild in a way that should be unhealthy. I want to trace it teasingly with my finger and follow it up with my tongue, before burying my nose in the dark, trimmed pubic hair. Want to breathe him in, drown in all of him before he suffocates me with his dick. Feeling his thigh muscles bunch under my touch as he feeds me his meat is almost as euphoric and tantalizing as when he rewards me with his salty, sweet cum.
I honestly don’t know which I love more: letting Ash drain his balls on my tongue or feeling his tight, hot ass milk my cock for every last drop I have.
“You just gonna keep looking at me like that, daddy, or are you going to get over here and have your filthy way with me?” Ash smirks, and my cock twitches. I fucking love when he talks dirty to me.
Stepping up to the edge of the bed, I hook an arm around his lean waist. I capture his bottom lip between my teeth, tugging gently, eliciting a toe-curling moan out of him. “Tonight, I’m goin’ to worship your body, baby.”
Flicking my tongue against the roof of his mouth, I groan as he closes his lips around the muscle, sucking on it like he would my cock. By the time he lets go, my dick is leaking and my mind is hazy, but somehow, I’m able to remember what I was saying.
“I’m goin’ to show you how much I love you, Ash. I’m goin’ to love on every inch of your body, tattoo my touch along your skin, brand your heart with mine.”
Ash’s lips curl into a small grin. “Of course, the cowboy would profess his love to me using a ranching term.”
A chuckle rumbles from my chest as I nip along his jawline. “I’m tryin’ to be sweet here, you brat.”
“Keep going,” he drawls, a dopey smile tugging at his lips. “And for the record, I’d one hundred percent let you brand me, daddy. Metaphorical or not.”
Molten lava surges through my veins, settling low in my balls. Christ Almighty . “The idea of brandin’ you like one of my cattle shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does. What the hell does that say about me?”
My body vibrates with pleasure as Ash wraps a tight fist around my very stiff cock, flicking his wrist as he pumps me nice and slow, gaze heavy and hooded as he looks at me. “Nothing that it doesn’t also say about me.”