44. Kate
Kate
The hotel room door opened quietly.
I looked up automatically and my chest tightened the second I saw him.
Finn looked exhausted. His kutte hung open slightly, blonde hair messy like he’d been dragging his hands through it for hours, and his eyes were dull instead of having their normal sparkle.
He hesitated in the doorway like he wasn’t sure if I still wanted him there, but when I didn’t say anything for a few moments, he stepped inside.
“I got it sorted,” he said after shutting the door behind him. “The papers are signed. It’s done.”
I nodded once and looked back down at my hands.
“Okay.”
I could feel him watching me, and normally that would’ve made warmth spread through my chest, but at that moment, it just hurt.
“Kate . . .” His voice sounded rough.
“I know you fixed it.” A tear slid down my cheek before I could stop it, and I wiped it away quickly, embarrassed. “It still hurts, though,” I whispered.
When I finally looked up, something in Finn’s expression almost made my chest ache harder. My nose burned, and more tears filled my eyes.
Guilt.
“I never wanted you finding out like that,” he said.
I gave a small shrug even though my throat felt tight. “But I did.”
Finn took a step towards me before stopping himself halfway. “I should’ve told you,” he admitted, “the second this became real between us.”
I almost let out a sob, because despite everything, despite how stupid it probably made me, part of me still wanted to hear him say there was something between us.
"I should've known."
Finn frowned. "Known what?"
"That woman." I swallowed around the lump in my throat. "The day we first went to your house... I saw you talking to her outside."
Recognition flickered across his face.
"I couldn't hear what either of you were saying." I stared at my hands. "She looked. . . expensive. Beautiful. Like she belonged in a different world." My chest tightened. "I remember wondering who she was."
I shook my head, hating how blind I'd been. "I told myself she was probably someone you were seeing. An ex, maybe. Someone important." I laughed quietly. "Turns out she was your wife."
Then another thought hit me, one that hurt even more.
"You told me you married her because she needed help."
Finn's jaw tightened.
"Is that what you do?" I whispered. "Find people who are falling apart and try to save them?"
His eyes snapped to mine. "Kate..."
"Because that's exactly how you found me.
" My voice cracked. "Bruised, terrified, carrying Noah.
You gave me your house. You protected us.
You looked after me." I blinked away fresh tears.
"Maybe I got confused. Maybe all this time I thought you were choosing me, when really...
" My throat closed. "You were just trying to fix me. "
His brow furrowed immediately. “Kate?—”
I wrapped my arms tighter around myself. “I knew someone like you would never really want someone like me long-term,” I blurted before I could stop myself.
Finn froze, and the look on his face changed. Not frustration or anger, but pain. His eyebrows pulled together, and his shoulders drooped.
“Don’t,” he said roughly.
I blinked up at him.
“Don’t say that like it’s true.”
“But it is.” I laughed, though it sounded broken even to me. “You had this whole other life I knew nothing about and I just . . .” My throat tightened painfully. “I let myself believe I mattered more than I did.”
“Kate.” His voice was sharp now, almost desperate. “That’s not what this is.”
I looked away because I couldn’t bear how intense his eyes suddenly were.
The bed shifted slightly. He’d sat down on the edge furthest from me, like he was trying to stay close without pushing too hard. “I care about you so damn much, it scares me,” he admitted.
My breath caught.
“And that marriage”—he scrubbed a hand hard over his face—“was dead long before I met you.”
I wanted to believe him. God, I wanted to. But wanting something didn’t make it true.
Another tear slipped free, and I pressed my lips together hard. “Can you sleep somewhere else tonight?” I asked.
The hurt that flashed across Finn’s face nearly broke me, but he still nodded immediately.
“Yeah,” he said roughly, standing too fast. “Yeah, of course.”
Guilt twisted painfully in my chest. “I just need a little space.”
“I know.” His voice cracked.
Finn grabbed his bag from the chair beside the door before pausing with his hand on the handle. When he looked back at me, his eyes were darker than I’d ever seen them.
“I should’ve told you,” he said again. “And I’m sorry you had to find out in a way that made you doubt what you mean to me.”
My chest ached so badly, I could barely breathe. The hotel door clicked shut , and I stared at it long after he was gone.