Chapter 7 #3
Then Jake was back, pressing his palm to Toby’s cheek, one thumb rubbing. “Hey, you with me?”
Toby nodded, swallowing, forcing himself to focus on Jake’s face. Jake looked more than a little nervous himself.
“No checking out on me, got that, Toby? We’ll stop this right now if that’s where you’re going.”
“No,” Toby said, hoping Jake didn’t hear the breathless panic starting to creep up. How am I going to get through this if I can’t blank out—“No, no, I’m here, really.”
“I mean it,” Jake said, with more warning.
“You gotta talk to me, okay, Toby? You tell me you trust me, and I trust you too—I’m trusting you to tell me, tell me the truth, the second anything—you gotta talk to me every second of the way, okay?
I wanna know how everything feels, like running commentary, to do this right.
That’s the rule, if we’re gonna do this. ”
Toby closed his eyes, aware of everything spinning out of control under the surface—how could he possibly obey a rule like that?
He couldn’t imagine lying to Jake, and they’d never get through this with Toby speaking—but he pushed that away.
He trusted Jake. He did, in this just as much as everything else. “Okay. Got it.”
“Okay.” Jake paused, and Toby opened his eyes to see him drop his head to Toby’s bare stomach to land a wet, messy kiss right next to his bellybutton. Toby choked back a laugh as his body twitched in surprise, one hand flying to Jake’s hair in protest. “Jake—”
Jake raised his head, smiling again. “C’mon, how does that feel?”
“It tickles, jerk.” Jake blew a second loud, wet kiss on the other side of Toby’s stomach, and Toby squirmed, laughing out loud this time. “It’s wet and tickles and this is not sexy.”
“Yeah? How about this?” Jake trailed his lips down Toby’s abdomen and over his waistband, mouthing a warm, moist line right over the bulge in Toby’s boxers.
Toby let out a shuddering gasp, hips jerking involuntarily upward. Jake caught them and continued nuzzling him where he could feel every breath. “Jake, oh shit—”
“C’mon, Toby,” he said, not bothering to raise his mouth. “You gotta tell me how it feels.”
“Good—really, really fucking good, oh God, Jake, I can’t—”
Jake sat up, and—just when Toby was about to pull himself together—Jake slid a hand into Toby’s boxers, touching him with just enough pressure to tease.
“Jake, are you trying to kill me—no, don’t stop, it feels good I love it just keep going—”
Jake did, keeping up the slow stroke until Toby was rocking up into his hand each time and begging mindlessly.
Right when Toby felt himself getting close, Jake stopped to tug Toby’s boxers the rest of the way off and then his own.
He straddled Toby, a warm weight over Toby’s thighs, and picked up what he had taken out of his duffel.
Toby blinked at it, too dazed with arousal to understand how a plastic tube about the size of a toothpaste container could have anything to do with sex.
He felt hot and blurred and warm, and it was difficult to recall his trepidation about what was next, even when Jake popped off the cap and squeezed a clear gel onto his fingers.
No knives, no restraints, no tools, and Toby was still on his back with his legs down, not on his stomach or on display.
As always with Jake, this was like no sex that Toby had ever seen.
Jake leaned over him, close enough that his own body and erection rubbed against Toby’s, making him moan. “Still feel good, tiger?”
“Yes—yes, fuck yes.”
Jake touched his slick fingers to Toby’s chest, drawing two lines down to his bellybutton, then back up to circle his nipples. “Like that? How it feels?”
“Oh—oh, yeah. Yes.” He did like it. Cool and wet, rapidly warming to body temperature, nothing unpleasant about it at all.
Something was different about the intimate touch of Jake’s fingers covered in the slick substance, swiping across his chest and continuing to tease his nipples.
Toby could do little besides react: moaning, arching, and trying to make the sort of sounds that meant Jake wouldn’t stop.
All he could really manage to articulate was yes, intermingled with swearing, but Jake seemed to understand.
When Jake finally reached back down between their bodies and took hold of his cock—oh hell, the slick warmth of it, how easily Toby slid in his fist, was as mind-blowing as when Jake took him in his mouth.
Jake murmured the whole time, voice steady and deep in his ear: “Wanna make you feel good like this all the time, Toby—you know that? You trust me?”
Toby gasped, “Yes, yes,” and came, cock tightening and shooting in Jake’s steady grip, coating both their stomachs.
Jake jacked him through it, a little slower, kissing him easy and light with shallow darts of tongue that left Toby stretching up for more.
Just as his heartbeat started to slow, Jake released him, reaching around with both hands to palm and squeeze his ass.
That felt good, too, just like every time Jake had done it before, and Toby moaned gutturally, thrusting up against Jake despite still reeling from his orgasm.
He could feel Jake’s hard cock between them, and he started to reach for it, but Jake kissed him again and let go of his ass to push Toby’s hand back to the bed.
“No, no. I’ll come when I want. This is about you, tiger.”
Jake resumed kneading his ass, squeezing in and spreading out his cheeks, until Toby was writhing and whimpering for what he didn’t know.
Then Jake slipped his fingertips in between, there.
Toby hadn’t thought there was a functioning neuron left in his brain, but that was enough for him to freeze with a sharp inhale.
Jake didn’t pull away, but he didn’t push any further either. He kept his fingertip on Toby’s hole, light but there, as he kissed him, slow and sweet and deep, until Toby could breathe again. “This okay, Toby? Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” he said, because it didn’t even hurt yet, and he was still determined. He was prepared.
Jake still didn’t push any deeper, but kissed and sucked a path down Toby’s jaw and neck, to his collarbone, making him squirm a little again. Jake’s left hand moved to Toby’s balls, gently rolling them, not like he was trying to get Toby off, rather just to distract him.
Toby felt very distracted. “I like that,” he told Jake, breathily. He was supposed to be talking, not that he could always remember to with Jake doing that.
“Good.” Jake lifted his head enough to look Toby in the eye. “You still trust me?”
“Yes,” Toby said, and meant it with all his being.
Jake brought his face back close to Toby’s, and whispered, “Breathe when I tell you, okay? Out—” Toby did, emptying his lungs in one long shaky exhale, focusing on nothing but how Jake had him, every point of contact that grounded him in this moment. No past nightmares.
“And in,” Jake said.
This time, as Toby drew in a breath, he felt Jake’s slick fingertip breaching the tight ring of muscle.
His inhale turned into a gasp, but only of surprise—whatever he had expected, it was nothing like this.
Jake had lifted his head high enough to watch his face, eyes sharp and close, not missing a thing.
“It’s okay,” Toby managed. “It’s all right, it doesn’t—this doesn’t hurt. It’s . . .” Weird, he almost said, but there was something else to it, too, something that made him want more. “I can’t tell until you go farther,” he said at last, and Jake’s sharp, watchful expression relaxed into a smile.
“Breathe in,” Jake said, and pushed further, another inch.
“Oh,” Toby gasped again. His nerves were reeling, and his brain couldn’t quite comprehend how not bad this was.
Totally different, a peculiar intrusion making it hard to think, but nothing, nothing like he had expected or dreaded.
“Jake,” he gasped, unable to find the words, but Jake heard the plea behind it.
His smile broadened, hinting at a smirk, and he began to pump his finger gently—not moving any farther in or out, just rocking back and forth, letting Toby feel.
Toby grabbed Jake’s shoulders, squeezing tight.
“Yes, Jake, yes—oh God, it feels good, I like it, I do I do I didn’t know—” His words were garbled, but he couldn’t find a way to tell Jake what this was, how much he didn’t want him to stop.
How much he wanted more—no, wait, he could manage that one.
“More, more, more,” and Jake sucked in a breath of his own, eyelids fluttering, and he pushed his finger in deep, so Toby could feel the whole length of it inside him.
Toby had no idea what he said after that, but it was enough for Jake to slide a second finger in.
Toby could feel both in him, filling him and stretching him, Jake inside him, oh God.
He wanted nothing but this forever. His cock curved tight over his stomach, and Jake continued the steady slide back and forth, in and out, his own face flushed and the most gorgeous thing Toby had ever seen.
Jake said huskily: “Yeah, Toby, you like that, like how my fingers feel in you. Love seeing you like this, so fucking beautiful. You ready now? Ready?” And Jake curled his fingers inside Toby, right there at the deepest point, and Toby’s vision went white.
He thought there could be no more intense pleasure than coming under Jake’s hand, mouth, or voice. He was wrong. When Jake’s fingers pressed that spot, Toby’s body convulsed with the blaze of sensation that shot throughout: the breathless, gasping eternity of release.
Conscious thought and voluntary motor function returned barely in time to hear Jake’s soft curse and feel him come beside him while Toby struggled to control his breathing and focus after that wash of euphoria.