Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
ALINA
Violent bursts of wind and the feel of my body being weightless paralyzed me.
I kept rotating in the air, unable to stop.
My fears returned, and no matter what I did, I could not help screaming.
I could not do it, I could not catch the feeling of my beast. I felt nothing.
Only the impossibly loud beating of my heart as every second brought me closer to the ground.
Please, please, please!
I begged the stars and the sky.
Suddenly, a painful tug up stopped me mid-fall, and my head started to spin when I saw the black shape wrapping around my torso. I clenched the scales of Tynan’s dragon, and closed my eyes as he took a sharp dive down, avoiding the rock formations below.
A moment later, as fast as lightning, we landed, hitting the ground hard. His arms were still on me when his body started to transform.
In the soft afternoon glow, Tynan appeared in front of me looking absolutely stunning and ready to take my head off.
Instead of saying anything, he spun me around and dragged me toward the rocks. When he pushed my back against the surface, I squinted in pain.
“What the fuck was that?” he yelled, his face just inches away from mine.
I had never seen him lose his temper, not before that moment.
His dark eyes looked almost black, his brows furrowed.
I could see his chest rise and fall with every breath he made.
Another thought crossed my mind. I was not afraid of him, not now, not ever.
I trusted him with my life. I only jumped because I knew no matter what happened, he would be there to catch me on the other side.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“You almost died!”
“I thought I could do it,” I said, wanting more than anything to touch his face.
Instead of answering, Tynan wrapped his fist around my braid and pulled it hard.
“You. Will never. Do that. Again,” he said slowly.
“I have to train.” I stared at his fist holding my hair, hypnotized.
His gaze was burning through me when he lowered his face to mine. “I said . . . You will never do that again. Do you understand?” His tone was hard.
Instead of being intimidated by him, another feeling rose to the surface, threatening to overpower me all at once.
“No.” I lifted up my chin.
“No?” He cocked his head looking infuriated.
“I am going to figure it out without asking for permission from you, or anyone else.” My hands landed on his torso.
“There are other ways to figure it out,” Tynan growled.
With all my strength, I pinned him against the rock behind us, pushing my hands against his hard chest. The last thing I saw was the astonishment in his dark eyes when I pressed my lips to his.
I kissed him slowly, savoring every moment.
His lips were so incredibly soft. His scent of leather and smoke overloaded my senses and my head nearly exploded.
I closed my eyes, feeling so lost, yet, powerful at the same time.
My hands on his cheeks, the warmth of his skin, the taste of black tea on his lips.
My fingers found his soft, silky hair and I could have sworn that I saw stars.
The world ignited and sparkled with millions of lights.
At that moment, I had become who I always was meant to be: strong, passionate, and fearless.
My skin burned with anticipation and desire. More than anything I wanted him to respond to my kiss. But the moment of bliss was over. I moved away, dying to see his face, before my courage completely left me.
His beautiful eyes were opened wide, his lips parted, cheeks flushed.
“There. Figure that out.” I exhaled, trying to catch my breath before walking past him toward the house.
I did not see Tynan for the next couple of days.
My mind would not stop returning to the scene by the foot of the mountain.
I kissed him. I pressed my lips to his mouth, greedily, unapologetically, taking from him and giving back.
But still, I wanted more. I wanted him to respond to that kiss.
I thought if I took the extra step, if I made my feelings clear, there would not be any barriers between us.
But something went horribly wrong. As it turned out, I missed some crucial detail, I miscalculated.
Tynan did not come back, he was avoiding me.
No matter how hard I tried, I did not know how to stop the horrifying emptiness, and all that pain took refuge in my heart.
Was it possible that he liked me, but not enough to actually be with me? Yes, it was certainly possible.
The simplicity of the answer tore my heart to pieces, and I did not know what to do to change that.
Hardly realizing what I was doing, I returned to the kitchen. I was too restless to stay still, and for the last few days, I had been cleaning the rooms, doing laundry, and endlessly scolding myself for being so deeply unhappy.
On one of those days, Frid joined me outside while I was hanging wet clothes on the drying rack. She stood for a long moment watching my frustrated moves as I twisted the towels and dropped them into a clean bucket.
“I don't know what’s going on between you two,” she started, carefully.
“Why do you think anything is going on?” I responded.
“Please. . . I have eyes.” She smirked, but I looked unimpressed, so she abruptly stopped and cleared her throat. “Tynan is difficult,” she added.
“Yes.” I turned away.
“He really likes you, I can tell you that.”
I sighed, not trusting myself to respond.
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on in his head, but he cares about you.” Frid looked at me earnestly.
“Why are you doing this?”
“What?”
“Why are you trying to convince me that he likes me when he just disappeared. Because of me. Because he doesn’t want to see me.” I lowered my head, realizing that my eyes were watering.
“He went through a lot.”
“No! No. It doesn’t work that way.” I bit my lip.
Frid swore under her breath and looked at the mountains.
“We’re going for a walk. Would you like to join us?” She finally asked, but I only shook my head, “Alright. Alright. See you later.” Frid sighed and I returned back to the house.
When Frid and Victor left and the sounds of their voices disappeared into the distance, I slowly walked into the house.
Unable to stay still, I picked up the rag I used for dusting the surfaces and leaned against the window seal, pressing my forehead to the cold surface of the glass.
Tears rolled down my cheeks, giving me much needed relief.
It was the first time I could express how I felt without the prying eyes of Tynan’s friends.
A sudden knock on the door made me nearly jump. Anxiously, I dried my cheeks with the sleeve of my dress, expecting to see Frid or Victor returning.
It was not Frid or Victor, and my heart swelled with anticipation, then ached with disappointment when the massive figure of Sol stepped through the threshold.
“Where are they?” he asked.
“They went for a walk. If you hurry, you can still catch them,” I said.
“No, I would probably interfere with something,” Sol trailed off.
“Probably.” I attempted a smile and resumed my work.
Sol made himself comfortable on the couch and picked up one of Grace’s books. I bit my lip returning to my thoughts.
“You know, it’s so strange to return after all these years,” Sol observed.
“Yes?” I responded just to be polite.
“Yes. We were forced out when we chose to be Shadows for the council,” Sol continued.
“Why did you do it then?” I asked.
“Things were different back then. We were the kids of the rebels, no one wanted to deal with us. We were all by ourselves most of our childhoods. Frid was an orphan and Victor and Ty lost their dads when they were executed for treason.”
I sat down in one of the chairs forgetting about my work.
“Yeah, it was never easy to be here before the rebellion, but after, it was ten times harder. We were starving here. My aunt was in poor health back then and relying on the clan for support, I could not take things from her. I don’t know what would have happened to us if not for Tynan, he fed us for months.
And the things he had to go through to provide for us.
” Sol stretched out his legs, trying to get comfortable.
“His family was always messed up. His old man was never there for them. He took a wife from a very respectable family, but she had issues. She was very violent. I know that’s not what you usually expect from women, but she was bloodthirsty, wild.
She orchestrated the coup, feeding lies about the superiority of our clan.
Our family tried to overthrow the Red Queen and lost. Not one clan joined the fight.
Tynan’s father was executed in the end, but his wife stayed and ruled the clan. And she got much worse over the years.
You know, the competition that you saw the other day, it’s open to everyone to participate, but Tynan was forced to enter every couple of months after he turned ten.”
My hand flew to my mouth, I could not help a light gasp escaping my lips.
“We only started to participate so he would have contestants his age. What he had to endure . . . being beaten up and humiliated in front of everybody . . . And she would just watch, she had a weakness for other people’s pain, especially his.
There were rumors that he was not her child, that Tynan’s dad brought him home from one of his trips and she was forced to name him her own. I don’t know if that was true, but she did not treat Quirin and Hanoch the same way.
I think she forced him to participate because at some point she realized that he was getting way too strong to punish him herself. I’m assuming you have seen his scars. He never talks about it, but I know, I know everything. I saw the fresh scars appear methodically over the years.