Chapter 41 #2
I think things got a little better when Gabrielle appeared. She and Tynan were inseparable for a while. But that girl was bad news. We knew, we all saw it. But he had had nothing for so long. Who could tell him that the only person that kept him going was shallow and selfish?
Anyway, it lasted for some time. She was all into him, they were going to marry. Glad that did not happen. Well, she was all about Tynan, but only until she found someone better.”
I sat still, not realizing that tears rolled down my cheeks, my hands clenched the rag I was still holding in my fist.
“I don’t think it’s easy for him to believe that someone can accept him the way he is. Even now, with us, he feels that he needs to protect us, as if that’s the only reason we stay.
I stood up, barely realizing what I was doing.
Everything clicked into place, and I realized something important about myself and Tynan.
It was like the whole world stopped and the pressure of it all trapped me in its wake.
I had to go, I had to break his wall. All his pain, all his uncertainty was self inflicted.
Today was the day I could try to mend things.
My hands were shaking when I found a shawl and changed my shoes.
“So help me, gods, if you ever hurt him, I will kill you with my bare hands,” Sol said slowly and I believed every word he said.
I pushed the door open, not turning back.
I stumbled outside and squinted my eyes as if I had never seen the gloomy view ever before.
When my eyes opened fully, I stared unseeingly at the landscape ahead.
Unsteadily, I started walking up the hill and then I ran.
The cold, moist air burned my skin and I sprinted through the open areas, not realizing that it had started to rain, my thin soled, leather boots slid in the wet grass.
The shawl wrapped around my knees and I threw it on the ground, forcing myself to move faster as the sun disappeared behind dirty, gray clouds.
I ran and I ran, not noticing the rain soaking my clothes and shoes. I had to find Tynan. Every part of my being was forcing me to keep going. It was fate, or magic, or all the powers of this world coming together to help me find one person who was the beginning and the end of everything.
It was nearly dark, when I came upon the hut where the dark silhouette of a man was chopping wood. When Tynan saw me, he dropped the ax, taking a step forward.
“What happened?” He caught me midway.
I tried to say something, but my rugged breaths were coming and going so fast I only managed to clasp his shirt.
“Are you alright?” He searched my face.
“Where . . .where’s Sage?” I asked.
“He’s gone, probably drinking.”
“Why didn’t you come home?” I breathed.
There were so many unspoken words between us, I could hardly distinguish what I wanted to say next.
He was so genuine and real, difficult, complicated, as stubborn as anyone I have ever known, but also self-sacrificing and kind.
At that moment, I realized that I wanted to be with him no matter what.
I wanted to be with him when he was moody and detached, when he was down, when he was so deeply inside of his own head that it seemed like there was no place for anyone else. I wanted to be with him, even then.
“Because of me?” I whispered, watching his eyes getting even darker. “If I did something –” I started saying.
“No, it’s not you,” Tynan said quietly.
“Is it Gabrielle? Are you still in love with her?” I blurted out.
“I’m not,” he said without thinking.
The way he said it, like it was reactionary, not something he had to think about. He was not in love with her, even if Gabrielle still thought that he was.
“Then why?” I searched his face.
Tynan’s throat bobbed, he looked down as if he tried to find the right words.
“I’m not. . . good . . . for you,” Tynan said after a long pause.
His words sounded strained, as if he could not believe what he had just said.
My face must have shown what I was thinking, because Tynan reached up, and touched my cheek. The simple caress of his fingers stopped me in my tracks, and I stilled.
“Let me decide,” I whispered, leaning in into his touch.
“As much as I want it . . .” He moved closer, so close that our lips almost touched. “As much as it kills me every time I’m near you, we can’t do this,” he said it so quietly that I had to guess what he meant.
“Do you want me to be with someone like Denis?” my voice was shaking and I could do nothing to conceal it.
“That would be better for you,” he said quietly.
“Would you just watch him kiss me, touch me?” I asked, noticing something primal rising in his eyes.
“Careful now.”
“I don’t want to be careful.”
My body slammed into his, both of us fell backward in the mound of hay. His light gasp was almost unheard with the sound of the rain outside the shed.
“Alina,” Tynan whispered, his eyes half closed, his hands still on my back.
“Kiss me back,” I whispered.
He stayed silent, his jaw set, as if he was in pain.
“Kiss me back!” I pressed my lips to his.
Tynan froze for a moment, but slowly his hands landed on the back of my neck and his incredibly soft lips parted my mouth.
His kiss was everything I needed, everything I craved for so long.
His warm skin, the taste of tangerines and pure desire made me whimper.
It took both of us a moment to find a comfortable angle and when we did, I could not hold back the reaction of my body coming to life.
I moaned, pressing harder into him, driving both of us wild.
The wet clothes were clinging to my body and all I wanted was to peel every layer off, and bask in Tynan’s warmth.
“Alina.” He kissed the soft spot behind my ear.
“Why haven’t you kissed me before?” I asked, catching my breath.
“I was a fool.”
“Do you want this?” I asked, arching my back on top of him.
The palms of his hands pressed against my waist, driving me wild. His dark, hungry eyes took all of me in, as if he could not get enough.
“Every moment since I first saw you,” he breathed into my neck.
Shivers went up my spine and I could not help the wave of pleasure that rolled down to my toes.
His lips slowly traced my skin before I felt his teeth pressing into the soft curve between my shoulder and my neck.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head, the sweet current rushed to my core, melting me from within.
The agony of pleasure was so blinding, so perfect.
“Please,” I begged without realizing it.
“Slow down.” He caught both of my hands, making me concentrate on his face.
Tynan’s cheeks were glowing, his hair fell into his face and his eyes were on my body.
“I’m ready!” I protested and moved my hips up, enjoying the low growl that escaped his lips.
He let go of my hands and almost immediately I unbuttoned the collar of his shirt, lowering my lips to his throat.
I could feel the urgent beating of his heart, his stillness that was dearly bought.
Tynan exhaled and his arms pressed into my hips, both of us rolled to the side, his lips found mine with short greedy kisses.
I gasped savoring the weight of his body when he settled on top of me.
“Are you sure?” he breathed, softly biting my ear.
Instead of answering, I parted my knees enjoying how perfectly we fit together.
“Oh, fuck,” he growled, freezing above me.
His eyes were still on my face when his hand moved down and carefully pulled up the thick material of my skirts.
I bit my lip, dying to feel his touch on my bare skin.
His fingertips slid up and down between my thighs; so slow and tender, the soft touches were too much to bear.
I gasped, unable to stay still any longer.
When his fingers found my undergarments, the desire almost exploded from within me, and that was before he parted the thin material and his hand brushed against the sensitive spot between my thighs.
I pressed my lips to his hungrily, desperately trying to get closer to him.
His confident, sensual caress repeated the movements of his tongue when he parted my lips. My back arched and I could not control myself any longer.
“Slow down,” he whispered but I was almost to the edge with his simple touches.
“Gods, I’m . . . I’m so close.”
“Not yet,” Tynan whispered, slowing down the rhythm.
I reached down and I found his hardened length. He swore and stilled above me. The next moment, Tynan caught both of my arms and placed them above my head, holding them tightly. Excruciatingly slow, his hand continued circling my center, making me want to beg for a release.
“This is what I dreamed about all night at the inn when you handcuffed me. All fucking night.” Tynan’s hand slowed down a little more, his eyes on my face, his lips parted as he watched me getting close to the edge.
“Please,” I whimpered.
“Not yet,” he whispered, finding another angle.
“Tynan.” I closed my eyes.
“Look at me. I want to know how much you want me.” He pushed a finger inside of me.
“I want you. Please,” I pleaded.
And he let me fall, easing me into impossibly sweet ecstasy.
At last, my senses returned me to reality, and I could distinguish Tynan’s face just inches away from mine. His hand in my hair, a faint blush splayed across his cheeks.
Realizing that I had full command of my hands, I moved them from his chest to his abdomen but he stopped me halfway.
“What’s wrong?” I tried to read the expression of his eyes.
“Not now,” he whispered and placed a quick kiss on my forehead.
“Why?” I asked.
“Sage could return at any moment.” Tynan got up and helped me to get on my feet.
For the first time, I looked around and noticed two structures in the dim light.
I was not too concerned about my surroundings earlier. We were moments away from doing it out in the open, in the middle of nowhere, on someone else's property. I should have been ashamed of my actions, but I could not help smiling.