Chapter Thirteen #2
“Do you think you’ll ever want kids?” Fallon asked as the deer moved on.
Nora shook her head. “I’m not particularly maternal.”
“What if you were with someone who wanted them?” Fallon persisted.
“Would that someone be you?” Nora asked, sounding coy.
“Oh no. I can’t see myself bringing a child into this world. How could I explain the frightening and cruel things that happen?”
They walked quietly toward Silver Bird. “Would you be able to finish telling me how you got this trailer now?” Nora asked after they got inside.
Fallon looked over from the stove where she’d begun making chicken strips and steaming broccoli for dinner.
Nora looked adorable with a blanket from the couch wrapped around her shoulders.
Fallon gestured with her spatula. “This was Mr. Jamar’s.
He lived in it at the same trailer park.
When his sister came to get him, she was worried about what to do with it.
He told her he was going to sell it to me, and he did, along with Big Red. For a dollar.”
Nora laughed and clapped. “Perfect.”
“I told myself I’d make enough money to get to California and pay him what they were really worth, but before that happened, his sister called and said that Mr. Jamar had died.
” At the sting of tears, Fallon excused herself and went to the bathroom.
Sometimes, it seemed like all her stories had sad endings.
Hard as she tried, she couldn’t shake the worry that the same would be true of her and Nora.
That night, they made love slowly, exploring each other carefully, as if wanting to avoid old injuries.
Fallon knew from her visit with the Palmers that fishing ranked far above firefighting for Nora.
So while Nora slept the next morning, she dressed and went outside to find Mr. Jamar’s poles and tackle box in an outside compartment.
Making her way farther along the forest trail, she found the stream that Ranger Reva had told her about, exploring until she found a wide, deep pond.
Outside the trailer, Nora waited, coffee mug in hand. “Where the hell were you?”
Fallon realized she would have felt the same if she’d awakened to find Nora gone. “I’m sorry. I should have left you a note. I went to find a fishing hole.”
Nora blinked. “Why?”
“Because I know you like it, and I’ve never fished, so maybe you could teach me?”
Nora turned without another word and went inside. After a few seconds, Fallon followed. She watched as Nora paced in the small space and muttered to herself. Fallon sat on the couch, bracing for the explosion she suspected was coming.
Finally, Nora stopped and stood in front of her, hands on her hips. “Goddamn it, I was worried. Then I got mad. I was going to tell you to take me back to camp because I can’t stand feeling like this.”
Fallon kept her voice quiet. “Like what?”
“Like I care. Like I need to make sure you’re all right. We’re supposed to be having fun, having a nice time together. Not this…” She gestured haphazardly between them. After a minute, she gave up, repeating, “Not this.”
Certain she was on dangerous ground, Fallon said, “Would fishing help?”
Nora jumped on her, and they wrestled until Fallon let Nora pin her.
“I give,” Fallon said. The idea that Nora cared, that something mutual was growing between them, made her heart surge.
Nora, still breathing heavily, leaned down and kissed her. “Next time, leave a note.”
They each caught a decent-size trout, and even though Fallon had to look away as Nora was cleaning and gutting them, they made for a wonderful dinner.
Chilly, gusty winds cut their last day’s walk short.
Curled up together on the couch, they discovered a mutual love of NPR and a disparity of opinion about country music, and agreed to disagree during a discussion on the use of social media.
When there was a lull, Fallon mustered the courage to ask what she’d been wanting to know ever since Nora had gone to Denver.
“Will you tell me what happened with Gwen and Tina?” When Nora looked down, Fallon added, “I hope you know you can trust me.”
Nora said nothing for a time. “I do trust you,” she said finally. “And I’m sure a shrink would say I need to talk about it.” Fallon nodded.
Nora took a deep breath. “Gwen and Tina had been talking practically nonstop about this guy, Bryson. They said he was fun and a great dancer. We met up in a bar in a seedy part of town, the kind of place where women know to keep an eye on their drinks. I declined repeated offers to dance, mostly from him, but also from some other guys. Bryson kept looking at his watch, and when he stood, suggesting we go for a walk, I told him I was worried about the neighborhood. He laughed and said the neighborhood should be worried about him. But I was more than ready to leave, and when Gwen and Tina came outside with us, I felt a little better.”
She sighed, shaking her head. “We started down an alley that I assumed would connect to the next street over, but instead, it dead-ended into an area with overflowing dumpsters and recycle bins.
It smelled disgusting. A car was idling there, and Bryson told me to stay put while Gwen and Tina went around to the passenger window.
They were all chatting and laughing, so I took a few casual steps back down the alley, deliberately not paying attention to what they were doing, trying to act like I was keeping watch instead.
“Someone in the car must have told Bryson I was walking away because I heard heavy footsteps coming up fast behind me. He caught me by the arm and swung me back to face him, saying, ‘Where the hell do you think you’re going? Goddamn it, bitch, I told you to wait for me.’ That’s when I knew it was going to be bad. ”
Fallon sat close, trying to offer comfort without interfering. Fighting the urge to hold her, she settled for a gentle squeeze of Nora’s hand from time to time. She was pretty sure Nora needed to tell the story even more than she needed to hear it.
“He was holding on so tightly, I got a bruise from his fingers digging into my arm. But I still tried to jerk away, and that’s when he slapped me and cut my lip.
” Nora took a shuddering breath. “So I did what Rudy had taught me. I brought my knee up as hard as I could into the bastard’s groin.
As soon as he hit the ground, I ran. I—I was desperate, but I knew I couldn’t be reckless.
I had to watch my footing in the alley to avoid falling while I looked for the sign of the bar we’d come out of.
” Her breathing was shallow, as if she was rushing away from the scene, even now.
“I could hear him cursing behind me, calling for Gwen, and there was no doubt in my mind that I was running for my life. He might not literally have killed me, but the life I had and the life I wanted would both be over if he caught me. I ran up the steps of the Lariat Bar and Grill right as a car screeched around the corner. I prayed it was the police and not another drug dealer.”
Nora paused, and Fallon’s pulse began to slow. “God, Nora. I hate it that you went through that alone. I feel like I should have been there.”
Nora shook her head. “It’s funny you say that because when I heard the bar door open and someone joined me on the steps, I imagined it was you. But it was just someone attracted by the high-speed passing of a second car and the sounds of people arguing from somewhere in the dark.”
She didn’t cry then, but that night in bed, Nora woke Fallon, weeping. “I thought my life was over, but you saved me. I didn’t want to feel this way about you, and now I can’t stop. Please, don’t let me go.”
She’d never seen Nora so vulnerable, and it split Fallon’s heart wide open. “As much as I crave your body,” she told her, holding tightly, “I crave this more. This connection with you. This being together. I have to believe that we’ll make it work somehow. I don’t want to imagine anything else.”
They slept in as late as possible the next morning, throwing their things into the car at the last minute.
Fallon finished her leaving checklist, and as she was locking the door, Nora laid her hands on Fallon’s shoulders.
“This time, I’m going to say it properly.
Thank you for bringing me here. I’ll never forget it. ”
The drive home was quiet. As much as Fallon wanted to know what Nora was thinking, she was too apprehensive to ask. When she caught Nora looking at her, she smiled hopefully. “Are you feeling all right about going back to work?” Apparently, Nora knew what she was really saying.
“They’re going to know about us,” Nora said. “Hannah already suspects.”
“Jade too.”
“As long as you don’t grab my ass in front of them, we’ll be okay.”
“Damn,” Fallon said. “I guess you can’t squeeze my boobs, either.”
Nora cast a longing look at Fallon’s chest before meeting her eyes again. “I still want to sleep with you, though. We can share a tent, right?”
Fallon hoped Nora couldn’t read her relief. “Hal will probably give us some shit, but yeah. I don’t see why not.”
“And what about Ranger Reva?” Nora asked demurely.
“I’m sure all will be well when I give her my report about what a good girl you’ve been.”
Nora laughed and swiped at her arm. “Are you ever going to let me drive this car again?”
“How about after we stop for gas?” Fallon offered. “You can make our grand entrance.” She’d almost offered to give Nora the car if she promised to come back after college. Almost.
Fallon was embarrassed that they were the last two returning to base, but the crew greeted them warmly, and Ranger Reva offered only a slightly raised eyebrow.
Nora went first to Hannah, hugging her and saying something Fallon couldn’t hear.
Hannah gave a little hop, clapping, and by dinner, there were lots of knowing smiles.