Chapter Thirteen #3
Even Hal had apparently gotten the word, as he referenced Fallon’s “adventurous model tent” with a nod to Nora. “Finally caught on to what’s worth having, huh?” he asked. When Fallon risked a look, Nora winked in return. It was great to be back.
Jade briefed them on their last hitch, calling it the easiest work yet.
Only forty-five minutes from base was a well-known ski slope that the forest service had been working from the top of the tree line.
The Women’s Plus Crew was assigned to thin what Jade referred to as “dog hair pines,” a dense stand of lodgepoles about halfway down the mountain.
Because the trees were too close together, they hadn’t grown very big around, so cutting would be easy.
The SCC would transport the logs for use in construction of new buildings in other camps or to sell for pulpwood.
“The good news is, we’ll be staying at base, which means nighttime bathroom facilities and availability of washers and dryers and sleeping indoors on cots.
Adding nearly two hours of driving to every day is the bad news. ”
Reva stepped in to add that due to the additional mileage, they wouldn’t be using Fallon’s car. Instead, two vans would haul people and equipment.
The weather cooperated beautifully for the first week, the skies sunny with hints of fall in the air.
Sleeping in the same room with Nora but not being in the same bed was torturous.
On their day off, Nora demanded the key to Big Red, driving them to a “clothing optional” hot springs.
Self-conscious in just a towel, Fallon stayed as close as possible behind Nora until they were in the water.
The soak was heavenly. “Almost as relaxing as sex,” Fallon whispered, pleased when Nora brushed a hand along the inside of her thigh.
“Let’s do a comparison later,” Nora whispered.
Luckily, Big Red’s back seat was roomy and warm.
“Back when we were traveling around, I’d sometimes find used jigsaw puzzles in the thrift stores,” Fallon told her as they snuggled close.
“If we had a little extra money, Mom would buy one for me, but I learned pretty quickly that they always had missing pieces. I used to feel kinda like that, but I don’t when I’m with you. ” She kissed Nora gently. “I’m whole.”
Nora sighed. “As a kid, I was never enough. Competing with my older brothers, I was always too slow or weak or inept in some way. And my father made sure I knew it. Ever since I realized that I’d never measure up, I’ve felt such hostility, resenting the unfairness.
” When she moved on top, Fallon closed her eyes at the sweet heat that spread between them.
“I’ve let a lot of that go here at Firecamp. And with you, I feel like I am enough.”
“Nora,” Fallon’s voice was almost a groan, “you’re more than enough. You’re everything.”
* * *
The second week began with three solid days of heavy thunderstorms. Rain was one thing, but they weren’t allowed to work if there was lightning.
After spending the morning cleaning and sharpening their cutting equipment and making sure everyone’s tools were organized, Fallon, Kennedy, and Hannah volunteered to help Hal in the equipment hut.
Nora wandered in and out, snapping random photos there and in the dining hall where Delores and Jade were watching the Olympics.
At breakfast on the second day, with thunderstorms still forecast, Ranger Reva announced that this was now their day off, and they’d probably have to work all weekend.
Fallon turned to Nora. “Let’s go somewhere and talk.”
“Just talk?”
The way Nora was smiling made Fallon want to put her against the wall and kiss her senseless. Among other things.
Nora’s eyes shifted past her, and Fallon heard Reva’s voice behind her. “Nora, would you mind taking a look at some printed photos we have from other crews? I don’t know if or how you could use them, but…”
Nora stepped away, her attention now focused on Ranger Reva. “Do you have a scanner?”
“I’m not sure. I had older equipment moved to storage because we weren’t using it. Maybe you could look and see if…” Reva seemed to notice Fallon, and she blushed slightly. “I’m sorry. Did you two have other plans?”
Nora touched Fallon’s arm. “This will only take an hour or two at most. Meet me for lunch, and we’ll go from there, okay?”
Unable to form a reasonable protest, Fallon nodded.
Nora wasn’t at lunch. Fallon went back to their sleeping quarters, but Nora wasn’t there, either.
Fallon decided to partake of her usual escape—reading—before realizing she hadn’t brought any new books during the break, a lapse that was so unlike her, she was shaken.
Had she been utterly consumed with Nora to the point that she’d let an important piece of herself go?
Was that a sign of love or of an unhealthy obsession?
In this place where she’d been secure, she felt unexpectedly vulnerable.
Kennedy came out of the bathroom. “What’s up?” they asked.
“Do you think there’s a bookstore in town?” Fallon asked, relieved to see a friend.
“Decent-size place, I bet there probably is,” Kennedy remarked. “Mae might know for sure.”
Fallon felt lost in time, almost immobile.
She’d based her day on Nora being available, but Nora had apparently forgotten about her.
Or maybe as soon as she went to town, Nora would get finished and come looking for her.
When she looked searchingly around the room, Kenn put a hand on her shoulder. “Want company?”
Fallon could use a sounding board. “Yeah.”
“Wanna stop by the ranger’s office first?”
The question led her to a stunning realization. Was this what life with Nora would be like if Fallon changed her plans and followed her to Arizona? Nora would be in college, pursuing her passion, and Fallon would be…what? Waiting?
“No. Let’s go.”
* * *
Fallon had no memory of being “poured into bed,” as Kenn later put it, but she could detect a stack of books beside her on the cot.
As she pieced together the previous afternoon, she established that they’d apparently found the bookstore, followed by a bar and then a liquor store.
Sitting up, she was grateful she didn’t have to work since the thunder outside matched what was happening in her head.
Nora’s face swam into focus, and Fallon smiled. Nora didn’t.
“Seems like you and Kennedy had a lot more fun than I did.”
Dismayed by the cool tone, Fallon felt the need to defend herself. “You weren’t at lunch.” She looked around. They were alone. “I can’t wait and wait without knowing—”
“You knew I was working with Ranger Reva.”
“I knew you said an hour or two.” When Nora had the grace to look a little uncomfortable, Fallon added, “I wanted to spend some time together.” She didn’t say what was on her heart. We don’t have much of it left.
Nora looked down. “I know. But this is something I have to do.” Her tone brightened.
“And Reva’s got these great old photos. We found a scanner, which probably came over on the Mayflower, but we couldn’t get it to work.
I’ve got to figure out how to get these photos into the video without a scanner. ”
For all her apprehension about their future, Fallon had to smile. Nora was never more appealing than when her intensity was on display. “Why don’t you take pictures of the pictures?” she suggested. “Then you’ll have them digitally on your camera.”
Nora stared at her, lips parted. “Oh my God. Why didn’t I think of that? I was just so obsessed with getting the scanner to work…” She hugged Fallon tightly. “You are a frigging genius.”
Not really, Fallon thought. I’ve just lost you for another day.
“Come get me after lunch,” Nora said as she started for the door. When Fallon didn’t answer, she said, “Promise?”
Was she promising or asking Fallon to promise? Did it matter? “Sure.”
Instead, there was a surprise birthday party for Mae that lasted all afternoon and featured terrible singing and gag gifts.
Nora came in late and was stuck standing in the back.
Fallon couldn’t even get close to her. Half the time, Fallon was angry, and the other half, she was sad.
She couldn’t tell if Nora was either, and of course, they still hadn’t had “the talk” about their future.
Jade seemed to feel guilty after the “easiest work yet” she’d promised them turned into ten straight days of muddy, slippery sawing.
She took Fallon aside and asked her to think of ways to cheer up the crew.
It wasn’t until later that Fallon figured out Jade was trying to cheer her up.
It seemed that everyone but Nora was finding ways to make their remaining time special, with a quick touch or an extra smile.
But when she joined the group at dinner or got into her cot, conversations about the end of the summer and talk of returning to their regular lives seemed to stop.
Nora, on the other hand, was so distracted with taking photos that Jade had to remind her that her primary job was sawing, and the pictures were to be shot on her own time.
Then, on Wednesday of the last week, Ranger Reva pulled Nora off the crew to work full-time on her presentation.
After joining them for dinner, Nora described excitedly how they had watched video examples from other groups and discussed at length what kind of shots to use and what kinds of information to include.
Everyone nodded politely, but Fallon noticed they all glanced at her as Nora talked. Finally, Delores pulled Fallon aside.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but we can all see you’re miserable, and Nora’s burying herself in work so she won’t have to deal with it.”
Fallon hadn’t thought of that, but it made sense. Rather than letting herself think or talk or feel, Nora was exhausting herself with this video. “What should I do?”