Chapter 7
“A nd he says everything is okay, and he’s just planning some epic surprise. But, my head is just not accepting that for whatever reason.” I trailed off, looking across the cafe’s table at my best friend. I ran my fingernail around the rim of the oversized coffee cup and sighed.
“Becks. Lucas Marshall is head over heels in love with you,” Monica’s voice was calm and soothing. She pushed her glasses up on her nose and tilted her head, “That man can’t even imagine looking at another woman. I promise that whatever is going on, it's going to surprise you,” she smiled, shaking her head.
“I know that look” I said, narrowing my eyes on her. “What do you know?”
“Nuh-uh!” she exclaimed. “I’m not saying a single word. I’ve sworn an oath to secrecy,” she throws her hands in the air after pretending to lock her lips and throw away the key.
I heaved a dramatic sigh, scowling at her.
“Lucas wants to take me to the shooting range.” I said softly, spinning the mug on the table.
Monica tilted her head, considering, sipping her own cappuccino.
“That may not be a bad idea, Becks. Your only experience with guns was traumatic and-”
“We don’t have to talk about this,” I blurted.
“Rebecca Wareman. My best friend went through something traumatic and life altering. You let me talk about Paul when I need to even though it brings back bad memories for you.”
“That’s different,” I whispered.
“It’s really not.” Monica placed her hand over mine, squeezing gently. “It may be good for you to feel like you’re in control of the situation with one. Learn how to handle it in a safe and controlled situation. Get used to the noise,” she encouraged me. “Paul used to take me all the time.” She shrugged, taking another sip of her drink.
“My instinct is just to stay the hell away from them,” I said, eyes watering at the thought.
“I get that,” my best friend replied, gently. “Maybe we can go together.” She suggested. “Lucas could work with us both. Paul would hate for me to just stop.”
I stared into my best friend’s eyes, “You’d do that for me?”
“Becks. Any of us would do anything we could to help you,” she stated firmly, shaking her head at me, “One day you’re going to believe that.”
“Are you and the girls still going to your parents, and Paul’s parents, Christmas Eve?” I asked, changing the subject.
Mon nodded, smiling as the waitress set down our food. “It’s going to be different but I don’t think anyone’s ready to stop tradition,” she stated, taking a bite of her chocolate cake.
“Mmmmmmm,” she closed her eyes. “Okay. This is amazing. Enough talking for now. More eating.”
I laughed, taking my own bite, eyes widening at the rich flavor.
“See.” Monica emphasized, pointing her fork at me, “Amazing.”
“You’re right. Less talking. More eating.” I laughed.
After a few moments of companionable silence, she spoke up, so quiet i could have missed it.
“Trevor has been coming around a lot lately…” she trailed off, reorganizing her cake to the center of her plate.
My eyes shot up to hers, “And how do we feel about that?” I questioned, taking a sip of my Americano.
I watched my best friend shrug, seeming unsure and felt my heart ache a bit.
“I really think it may be out of obligation. Lacey and everything. The girls are understandably still reeling from losing Paul.”
“I doubt it's an obligation, Mon. I’ve been around you two often enough to see he still has feelings for you.”
She choked on the bite of cake she’d just placed in her mouth, and I slid her ice water over to her.
After she’d taken a sip she looked at me.
“Are you kidding me? It’s only been about six months since Paul died. Trevor doesn’t have feelings for me…it’s been so long.”
I shook my head, pushing my own empty plate away from me.
“You’re not quite on the outside looking in. Don’t sell yourself short, Mon. I understand it being super soon but you’ll know when it’s right. Paul wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone forever,” I said softly.
“I know. I just wish we’d had that conversation.” She said, staring out the window. “I always brushed him off. It hurts to even talk about it.”
I stared at her until she met my eyes again and smiled gently.
“Don’t beat yourself up about it. I don’t think I could handle having that conversation with Lucas either. At all.”
“Well, do it,” she encouraged. “It may hurt but it would be a lot easier than wondering ‘what if’.”
I nodded in understanding as the cafe owner's daughter came to our table with the check. I grabbed it before Monica could, speaking over her protests.
“It’s on me,” I spoke directly to Caroline, who grinned at me, “don’t let her sway you.”
“I would never,” the sweet blonde said, taking my debit card and leaving to run it.
Monica’s eyes trailed after her, “We should see if she wants to hang out with us sometime.”
“That would be nice,” I agreed. “She’s probably feeling a little lost, being back in a small town after big city life. The rumor mill has kind of been brutal.”
Caroline made her way back to us, sliding my card and the receipt to sign in front of me. “How are those sweet girls?” She asked us.
“Oh. They have you fooled.” Laughed Monica. “They’re all hyped up now that they’re on Christmas break.”
“Nat is the same. She’s been with Lucas all day doing ‘secret things’ and is annoyingly excited about not telling me.” I rolled my eyes.
“It wouldn’t be Christmas without surprises,” smiled Caroline. “Thank you all for coming in. Have a Merry Christmas!”
“You too, Caroline.” I smiled softly at her.
There was definitely sadness in her eyes as she smiled back.
She had a beautiful smile, but it wasn’t quite reaching her eyes.
“So, where did you run into Nat and Lucas?” I asked my friend as we gathered our things.
“Becks! You’re horrible. I was sworn to secrecy. Stop it.”
“It was worth a try,” I grinned.