Chapter 3
Bram
Gravel crunches beneath the tires as I pull down the long drive leading to the secluded cabin I’m staying in for the week. It’s not actually mine, though the friend who it belongs to told me he had everything I could ever want inside.
The only thing I need to take care of is food. With town being a twenty-minute drive away, it’ll be easy to load up on the essentials.
“Home sweet home,” I whisper when the path clears to give me a view of the beautiful home. There’s an elegance to the place that makes it stand out against the unmarred backdrop of the wilderness surrounding it.
I climb out of the rental, then take a deep breath. The air here is refreshing. It’s cleaner than the city, with a touch of pine to it that makes me smile. I’ve always enjoyed the scent. Mostly because it reminds me of Christmas.
What a perfect place to spend the holiday season. There’s even some snow in the forecast. I made sure to check while on the plane.
The key is right where my friend said it would be. I let myself inside, only to freeze when I realize just how perfect it truly is.
Comfortable-looking blankets cover a plush-looking couch. There’s an oversized chair next to a wall of bookshelves. It appears to hold everything from thick novels to colorful children’s books. A fireplace sits off to the side, and a full kitchen is even further on one end.
Its open floor plan gives me the ability to see the entirety of the home at once. Well, almost everything.
I move through the space to the closed door on one side that leads to the bedroom. Inside, I find a massive king-sized bed with gauzy sheets hanging from four gorgeously carved wooden posts. It looks like something out of a home and garden catalogue.
Grabbing my phone, I shoot off a text to Davies to thank him for the chance to use this place.
Bram: D-man! This place is amazing. Thank you for letting me use it this week. You sure you’re good without it for the holiday?
Davies: I’m positive, man. Got different plans this year. Enjoy it. Let’s get dinner when you’re back in town. Been too long.
I laugh at the offer. We’ve been trying to get together for a meal for months now. Each time we lock in a date and time, one of us has to cancel. Between my work and his active hockey schedule, it’s damn near impossible.
Luckily, we’ve been friends so long that it doesn’t matter.
If I don’t see him for a year, we’ll still act as if it’s only been a week the next time we’re in the same room.
Plus, with us both being in the public eye, it’s not like I can’t get any gossip on the guy, and vice versa.
All I have to do is turn to the gossip column for the details.
Bram: Sounds good. Happy holidays!
Davies: Same to you. Send up a smoke signal or something if you get trapped in that snowstorm. I’ll send out help.
Davies: *laughing emojis*
What a guy. He has no idea how tempting it is to hope for a snowstorm to lock me down here alone. I need all the time to reflect that I can.
While it’s hard to be around Edward, it’s just as hard to be away. Maybe even harder.
He and I are so connected at the hip. Maybe codependent is a better word. Either way, it’s not good for us. Especially not when I can’t have him the way I want.
I would never pressure him for more though. That’s not even remotely on my mind as an option. Neither is talking to him about my feelings. I’ve seen him when he’s flustered by someone he has a crush on. I’m not that person.
The specific moment I realized I didn’t stand a chance at making him mine was this past summer when we took that trip to Mexico and had our annual get together with others in the kink community.
The entire theme of the party was to celebrate Edward’s Little side, hence why everyone there knew him.
We’d done it as an annual thing for the last few years, and this time should have been no different.
Except it was.
Because I’d watched him fuss over the fact that he’d found two new people to invite. And that one of those people was the twin of a really famous athlete from back home. For the hours leading up to Duval and Foster’s arrival, he’d been a blushing, eager mess.
I wanted him like that for me. Wanted to see him fall apart at the seams because he needed to have things be just right between us.
Not that I wanted him to feel he couldn’t be himself around me though.
Ugh. It’s so confusing.
I can’t make sense of what I truly want from this. I’m a man who goes after what he wants all the time. Not making the decision I need to regarding my best friend is tearing me up inside.
With a shake of my head, I go back out to grab my bag in order to unpack for the week. I can’t live out of a suitcase no matter how short the trip is. The idea of digging through my stuff to find one thing nearly gives me hives.
Once I’ve gotten things in order just the way I want them, I check the cabinets for any basics while making a list of what I need to get from the store.
Davies has a few key things here like canned goods and water, however, there’s nothing fresh or healthy.
Obviously, they’re too perishable to last without someone being here.
I’ll have to be sure to get plenty of fruits and veggies to snack on.
And maybe I should grab some extra in case that storm does trap me here.
I check the forecast one more time, taking note the storm isn’t set to arrive until midweek. If all else fails, I should have enough time to make another trip into town if I find I’ve missed grabbing a specific item.
Loading my reusable bags into the passenger seat, I take off into the neighboring town. My GPS had me come in from a different direction, so this is the first I’m seeing of the people in the area.
To say these people like Christmas would be an understatement. There are decorations covering every inch of the town. From the light poles to the storefronts, there isn’t an inch without some holly or tinsel.
A giant tree sits in the town square covered in baubles and lights. I tell myself I’ll need to come back at night to take a look at it. I bet it’s gorgeous.
You know who else would love it?
I grunt as my thoughts turn to Edward again. What do I have to do to get him off my mind? Surely there has to be a way to keep them gone for more than a few minutes at a time.
Parking in front of the general store brings me back to the current moment. Families stroll down the sidewalk carrying bags and gifts. It’s obvious some are tourists, though several look comfortable enough they likely call this place home.
Inside the store, I find just as many decorations as there are outside. It’s even worse though because they have lights lining the wall. The space is bordering on a club scene instead of a grocery store with all they have going on.
“Greetings!” A man dressed as Santa Claus greets me from a giant throne set up right in front of the store. “Want to tell me your Christmas wish?”
“No thanks, Santa. I don’t think you could make it come true.”
I head to grab a cart, but a hand on my arm stops me. The big guy is out of his seat. His eyes have lost their humor.
“Tell me why you think that is. I’m in the business of making people’s holiday merry and bright. What would it take to get yours there?”
If this were any other situation — i.e., a man not in a Santa suit in a random grocery store — I might think he was hitting on me. Instead, it feels a bit like he’s trying to keep up the good vibes of the store.
I take a deep breath, then admit the truth. “I’m in love with someone I can’t have. He doesn’t see me the way I would like. This vacation is meant to help me get over him.”
Santa nods at me slowly, an understanding in his gaze I don’t expect.
“Been there myself before. My Link and I were best friends for nearly twenty years before I told him I was in love with him.”
“What happened?” The question comes before I can stop myself.
A booming laugh rings out behind me. “Well, I told the old goat he was in luck because I loved him too. We were married a month later”
“That was only because our mothers wanted to do a formal ceremony and send out invites. I’d have done it that same day,” Santa replies to the man I suspect to be his Link person.
I hum softly as I take a step away from the pair. They’ve managed to sandwich me between them as they weave this happily ever after tale to me.
“While I’m happy for you both, I’m not sure I’ll get the same ending.” Because Edward doesn’t want me as his Daddy.
Santa shakes his head. “Don’t be so sure yet. The holidays are a time for miracles. Plus, this town is known for bringing people together. You’ll see. This isn’t the end.”
I nod, then point to the carts. “Do you mind if I get some shopping done now? I’m at a cabin up the road a bit. I’d like to finish up before it’s too dark.”
“Oh yes! Sorry for stopping you. My husband is just too darn nosey sometimes,” Link replies. “Get whatever you need. Holler if you have questions.”
Leaving them to their whispers, I shop for the items on my list. The selection is surprisingly great, which has me adding several extra things I didn’t intend to buy.
I chalk up the items to supporting the local economy.
It will be good to put money into this place.
I might not buy into the gimmick of it all, but surely others will.
I can’t fault them for still believing.
Sometimes I wish I could.
“Your total is one hundred seventy-two dollars and sixty-five cents, please. Cash or card?”
I pull out my card, tapping it on the little screen quickly to cover the cost. It’s not as bad as I expected given the small town. Places like this either undercut their prices to be competitive and support locals or they go the opposite way by hiking up prices for tourists.
“Let me walk these out for you.” Before I can tell him I can get it all, Link grabs half the bags and stomps out the door. I follow him, then click the button for my rental so he knows where to go.
We put everything in the trunk, and I fight the urge to tip him.
I don’t think he’d appreciate the move. I’ll just have to donate to the town or something later on his behalf.
Not just because he took my groceries out.
It’s the kindness he’s shown me that really has me ready to fork over wads of cash.
This trip could be really depressing if I get too in my head. Meeting a couple who believes in me and has a story similar to mine is nice. Even if I don’t think it’s going to happen to me, I can admit it’s got me feeling better about the week ahead.
“Drive safe and don’t be a stranger. The tree is worth taking a night trip down to visit. We also have a coffee and hot cocoa stand for people to grab something warm from. We’ll be having a snowman building contest later in the week too if you’re still here.”
I laugh and point in the direction I’m heading. “My cabin is secluded. I’m pretty sure once the snow starts, I won’t be able to get out to see it. Sounds fun though.”
“Oh,” he says softly. “If you might get stuck, then maybe you should give me your number. If there’s an emergency, one of us can get a snowmobile up there with supplies and stuff. We could even bring you down for a visit if you get cabin fever.”
“I doubt it, but sure.” I rattle off my number, then give him a final wave as I get behind the wheel.
Maybe this trip won’t be so lonely after all.