Chapter 4
Edward
Adulting is the lamest thing ever. Why does everything have to be so fucking complicated?
I mean, booking a plane ticket and getting a rental shouldn't be rocket science, right? The website is enough to make my head spin. Not the good Little space way either.
Eventually, I figure out enough to actually get me to the airport and on a flight to where Bram is staying.
There are no rentals left though, so I book a car to take me to the small town outside of where he’s at.
I figure I can get a ride to him from one of the nice townspeople if I play my cards right.
At least I hope so. I can be pretty convincing when I want to be.
I’ll have to be at my best if I want Bram to let me stay with him this week. He seemed pretty adamant about doing this alone, but I know him. He’s got something big going on inside. Being alone is only going to have him worrying about it more than necessary.
If I’m around, he’ll be able to split his focus. That usually helps him work out whatever problems there are.
Either way, I’m here now. This time, I’ll beg for forgiveness since I didn’t ask for permission.
“You sure this is where you want me to drop you? There’s not a hotel or anything you want to go to?” The driver looks around the small town with unease.
Meanwhile, I feel like I’ve hit the literal jackpot of locations. The explosion of Christmas decor tells me I don’t have anything bad to worry about here. If anything, I’ll fit right in once my Little side feels comfortable enough to peek out. Travel always leaves that side of me apprehensive.
I wish I could comfort that part of me better. Bram seems to be the only one who knows how.
It’s part of how I know he’ll be an amazing Daddy for me one day. Well, that’s only if he wants me back eventually. I’m still holding out hope his friendly feelings will change. That can happen, you know. I’ve heard about it.
Our situation is different given the kink aspect, though I don’t see it being in a bad way. Bram already knows I’m a Little. He’s seen me in action numerous times. If he didn’t like it, he wouldn’t hang out with me.
Being my Daddy would be different, sure, but not too different in my opinion.
“Thanks for the ride. Here you go.” I hand him enough to cover the ride and a tip. Normally I use an app but since he’s old school, I figure he’ll take it.
His eyes go wide at the amount before he slowly takes the pile. “You sure about this? That’s a big tip.”
“I’m sure,” I say with a big smile. “You’ve been nice enough to go further than your normal, right?”
He nods.
“Then take the tip and treat yourself. Or maybe a special someone.”
I climb out before he can reply. Getting caught up in conversation is not part of the plan.
The piece of paper in my pocket is very clear in what I’m meant to do.
Get on plane and safely land.
Find a ride to town.
Get someone nice to drive me to Bram.
Convince him to let me stay.
Figure out what’s bothering him.
Make it better.
Have an awesome Christmas with him.
The minute I’m out of the car, the driver takes off. For as much as he wanted to check on me, I could tell he was ready to get out of here too. I’ve never seen someone get so spooked at holiday decorations.
With my bag slung over my shoulder, I take off for the crowd of people milling around the town square. One of them might be just who I need for the next step.
A few people smile at me and wave as if I’m a member of the community. I return the gestures with ease. None of them really speak to me as to being the person I need.
I’m having to trust my gut on this. I don’t know how else I’ll pick anyone.
“You need help finding something, kiddo?” A man dressed as Santa stands beside me holding a platter of sugar cookies. “Want one?”
I blink at him, confusion rolling through me. “Aren’t you supposed to take the cookies instead of giving them out?”
Despite my words, I still manage to take two from the tray. I’m no fool. A cookie offering is a gift one should never turn down.
“That’s true, except what most people don’t realize is this only counts for Christmas Eve night. I can share all the cookies I want before then. Now, I’ll ask again: Do you need help? You seem to be looking for someone.”
I nod as I take a bite of the cookie. A sigh leaves my lips as the perfect balance of sugar and butter hits my tongue.
“These are delicious,” I say around a mouthful.
Santa nods as he smiles. “My husband made them earlier today. He was inspired after making a friend yesterday.”
“Oh, cool.” I swallow my bite. “I’m here to see a friend. That’s what I was doing. I need someone to drive me up to his cabin. The guy who drove me to town refused to go somewhere that secluded. He told me he wasn’t about to be part of some horror movie.”
The man in front of me chuckles. If I didn’t know he wasn’t the real big man in red, I’d be questioning everything with how perfect his laugh sounds. I’d bet just about anything he practices in front of a mirror to get it just right.
“Definitely don’t think you’re a serial killer or anything, kid. You’re too sweet.”
“Why thank you! I like to think I am too.”
He nods slowly. “Now about that ride. We could take you up to wherever you need to go; however, I have to ask one more thing. Does your friend know you’re coming?”
I drop his gaze at the question. How is it he picked up on the fact that I’m here as a surprise? Guilt sits heavy in my chest at having to admit to this stranger that I’m crashing Bram’s vacation.
“Well, actually…” I pause to think of how I’ll word it. “My bestie doesn’t know I’m coming. It’s a surprise! He’s been upset lately, and I don’t think being alone is good for him. I don’t want him to be lost in his thoughts for a whole week, you know? That’s dangerous.”
My wide eyes plead with him to understand the situation. I don’t want him to tell me I’ve made the wrong choice. I’ve done enough worrying about that my entire journey here.
Santa opens his mouth as if he’s going to say something in response but stops when his eyes latch onto something behind me. I turn to see another older gentleman walking up with a familiar person beside him.
“Look who I found wandering around, hubby. I told you he’d show up. You owe me five bucks!” The stranger says.
Meanwhile, the other man’s eyes are locked on me. “Edward?”
His tone is carefully blank. I can’t read him to know if he’s happy or upset I’m here.
“Hey, Bram! Surprise!”
The two men beside us look between us, then at one another. Santa is the first to speak up.
“Edward here was just telling me he came to surprise his friend. What are the odds you’re that person?”
Bram nods. “That’s me,” he replies in a low voice.
The other man claps Bram on the back, then extends a hand my way. “I’m Link, by the way since my husband has decided not to introduce me.”
“I don’t think he’s one for introductions. He still never told me his name. I’ve been thinking of him as Santa,” I answer back.
The men laugh, though Bram remains silent through it all. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. He’s not reacting the way I expected him to.
Sure, I didn't think he’d run right at me with a smile and a hug. But this cold shoulder thing is too much.
“My name is Marian. I should have said something before. I tend to forget when I’m in character,” Santa admits. Though I guess now I should call him by his real name.
How un-fun is that?
“What are you doing here?” Bram asks after Marian introduces himself.
The two men beside us pick up on the awkward situation and excuse themselves. I watch them leave with a frown.
“I’m here to see you. You left so suddenly, and I could tell you were upset. I wanted to check on you. It didn’t seem right for you to be sad and alone during the holidays.”
He shakes his head. “That’s not… You weren’t… Edward.”
The way he can’t string a sentence together only makes everything worse. Bram is rarely ever lost for words. He might not use a lot of them all the time like I do, but he’s never one to forget how to use them.
Or maybe this is him trying not to hurt my feelings. That could be it.
What if he wants to tell me the truth of how he feels yet he’s worried I’ll take it badly? That makes sense given I spoiled his vacation. From meeting Link and Marian, it seems he’s already on his way to making time for other people.
It’s not that he needed time alone after all.
Maybe he just needed time away from me.
Oh.
OH!
The reality of it all hits me hard. It’s a realization that nearly makes me stumble when I haven’t even attempted to move.
“You came here so you wouldn’t be around me. I’m the problem,” I say aloud.
Bram’s eyes go wide as he tries to take a step closer. I raise my hand, my heart sinking as I accept I’ve gotten everything wrong all along.
This friendship hasn’t been as balanced as I thought. It’s been one-sided in a way I didn’t even realize.
He came here to get away from me. And maybe even to come up with a plan to let me down. To get me out of his life even.
I don’t know all the details. I can only see the truth as clear as day while my supposed friend struggles to find the words to cover up the truth.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll… I’ll get out of your way. Enjoy your vacation, Bram.”
Spinning away from him, I break into a jog to escape the confrontation. So much for having a plan. I rip the paper from my pocket and chuck it into a trash can I pass by.
As the paper falls, tears trail down my cheek. Merry fucking Christmas to me.