Chapter 13 Nathan #2
Evan has an early shift at the warehouse, so he’s coming over straight after.
I remind myself why he’s worth the trouble.
Think about him in his work pants and boots in that car.
The smell of something unfamiliar on his clothes, like cardboard and dust. I want to take care of him.
I want to run him a bath and get him a beer, but something tells me he wouldn’t like that.
He’d see straight through me, push away my attempts to try and make everything better.
Instead, I put a couple of pizzas in the oven and make sure there are chilled beers for us to drink if Evan wants one.
My mom or Bryce will probably notice they’re gone, but they don’t make a fuss about me drinking so long as I don’t get sloppy or throw any wild parties. It’s all about image, of course, I now realize. Do whatever you want, so long as you’re quiet about it.
I don’t like to think that’s what I’m doing with Evan. But it’s not like he’s exactly open about what we’re doing, either.
Evan’s taking longer to get here than I thought he would. I’m pacing the living room, flipping through the channels for a movie or something to put on when the doorbell rings.
“Hey!” I can’t keep the dopey grin from my face as I answer the door.
He isn’t dressed in his work clothes. The thought of him going home to change before he came here makes my stomach flip.
He runs a hand over his shaved head and follows me into the house.
“Did you find the place okay? I would have picked you up from work-” I’m chattering on, I know, but I can’t believe how nervous I am now he’s actually here.
“It’s fine,” he interrupts.
“Want a beer?”
“Sure.”
When I get to the kitchen, I take a deep breath, give myself a moment. Back in the living room, Evan’s found the controller and is flipping through the channels. It’s nice to see him semi-relaxed.
I hand him his beer and take a seat beside him on the sectional.
“Take your shoes off if you want. Make yourself comfortable.”
“I’m good.”
He lands on an episode of Bob’s Burgers and I smile to myself.
“How was work?”
He shrugs. “Fine.”
“I put some pizzas in the oven, they should be ready in a minute.”
“Smells good.”
We fall into an uncomfortable silence until my phone pings and I go to take the pizzas out.
I cut them up in the kitchen before bringing them back in.
Evan devours a few slices of pepperoni while watching the end credits to the cartoon.
“I’m surprised you’re not watching football or some shit,” he says, wiping his mouth on the paper towel I brought in.
“Why?”
He shrugs. “Just thought that’s what jocks do.”
I snort. “You do know tennis players are nerds, right?”
His eyebrow shoot up.
“Seriously. The football team, the hockey team, the lacrosse team … fine. But the tennis team? A bunch of skinny nerds in polo shirts.”
His eyes roam over my body and I feel my face flush.
“What about the frat thing?”
“Yeah, we’re in the nerdiest fraternity on campus, too. The football players and a few of the hockey guys are in one of the neighboring frats—the party frat.”
His lips quirk up on one side and he shakes his head. “I can’t believe all that shit’s actually real.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, it’s not all just in movies. People are actually in … ” He does little air quotes “‘Party frats.’”
My face gets even hotter and I rub the back of my neck. “Yeah, well....”
“What are the other guys like, in your ‘not party frat?’”
“The guys are mostly okay. Ben—a guy I rushed with—he’s a good guy, and he’s on the tennis team, too. Things are a bit weird with Mark since he started dating my ex-girlfriend.”
Evan’s eyebrows shoot up again. “What happened to bros before hos?”
“Well, one—we don’t call girls hos, and two—technically we’d broken up and he did ask my permission.”
He shakes his head. “So, they’re not hos, but you do have to call dibs?”
“No, not like-”
“What’s your role in this nerdy fraternity, then?”
It’s the first time he’s called it something other than a ‘frat’ with an air of disdain. I’m still embarrassed to tell him what my role is, but it would be weird if I ignored the question.
“I’m Vice President.”
Now he smiles. It’s not a totally mocking smile.
“That’s actually impressive.”
“I thought you’d think it’s stupid.”
“I do. But if you’re gonna be a part of something stupid, might as well be the vice president of it.”
I punch him in the arm and he laughs.
Another episode of Bob’s Burgers starts playing and I settle in to watch it, just enjoying having Evan here by my side. But something uneasy won’t settle inside me.
“I confronted Bryce today.”
He freezes with his hand over the pizza box. “Nate, I don’t want you to-”
“I needed answers.”
He brings his hand back into his body. “What did he say?”
“He was just looking after his interests. He didn’t really care who was in the wrong so long as his reputation wasn’t damaged.”
“Sounds about right.”
“Evan, am I really stupid?”
He frowns. “No.”
“I feel like I’ve been the most oblivious person on the planet these past few years and now I’m just opening my eyes.”
“What do you mean?”
I think about Ben. About Bryce. I can’t tell him about Ben, that’s his private business.
“Just everything with you and Bryce and my mom. I feel like I’ve been walking around in a bubble, not seeing things how they really are.”
He looks up at me through his fair lashes and I can’t stop myself from stroking his face. He closes his eyes and presses against my palm and I feel it all shuck away. All the stress and uncertainty. Evan was always the one person I could rely on. How could I fuck it up so badly?
He eats more of the pizza, takes his shoes off, and puts his feet up on the coffee table full of coffee table books about architecture and modern art.
I watch him from the corner of my eye. Admiring the way he looks in his sweatpants and white t-shirt.
The shape of his feet in socks. I haven’t really gotten to admire him when we’ve been together before, on the dark beach or squashed up in my car.
I imagine him on my bed, hovering over me.
The St. Christopher he’s worn since we were kids dangling over my face.
When the next episode finishes, I ask him if he wants a tour of the house.
I’m embarrassed by most of it and try to make fun of everything. Like Mom’s waterfall island counter and Bryce’s stupid fish tank.
“What’s down there?” Evan asks when I pass the door to the basement.
“A pool.”
“Seriously?”
I rub my neck. “Stupid, right?”
“Show me.”
I open the door and lead him down the stairs. They’re not rickety like the kind we had in my old house. I was always scared of that basement. The boiler that made a weird, moaning noise. The rats you’d hear scurrying as soon as you turned the light on.
This basement is bright and white and free of rats and moaning boilers. Just the hum of the pool cleaner or filter or whatever keeps the pool warm and clean.
Lights under the surface bathe the pool in a greenish hue. Evan blinks at everything like he’s just stepped into Wonderland.
“Do you actually swim down here?”
“Sometimes,” I shrug. “Bryce uses it every morning.”
When I turn around, Evan’s stripping down to his boxers. “You comin’?”
I follow him, watching him jump in, splashing water over the mosaic tiles.
The water’s warm, as always. Evan floats in the middle of the pool, his legs a wobbly blur underneath him.
He ducks his head under before coming up again, water dripping from his nose and eyelashes.
“This is cool.”
“You don’t think it’s ostentatious and douchey?”
“Oh, totally.”
Something twists in my stomach.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Nothing, I just don’t want you to think I’m a rich asshole. All of this … ” I throw my gaze up to the ceiling, the spotlights shining down on us. “It’s not mine. It’s Bryce’s.”
Evan’s treading water, his legs kicking under him.
“Listen, I get it. You’re not your stepdad.”
I smile and nod, but I don’t fully believe him.
He grabs my hand under the water. When I drag my gaze up, he’s looking right at me.
He swims a little closer and presses his lips against mine. I wrap my legs around his waist, feeling him hard against me. The kiss intensifies until he’s pushing me back against the edge of the pool.
I let my arms drape over his shoulders and give into him. Letting him take the lead, as always. His fingers slip inside the waistband of my boxer briefs and tug, the water causing some resistance. I help him by wriggling free, kicking them off when they bunch around my ankles.
He slides his hands under my thighs and pushes me up, until I’m out of the water and sitting on the edge of the pool.
Before I can say anything, Evan has my cock in his mouth and is blowing me with that same expert skill I remember from last time.
I put my hand on the back of his shaved head and watch it bob between my legs.
My stomach tingles and my toes curl under the water.
“Fuck, Evan, like that.”
I rest back on one hand, keeping the other on Evan’s head, tilting my own so I can watch him. His cheeks hollow as he takes me into his throat and swallows.
I throw my head back and let out something between a moan and a whine.
I don’t fucking know what. I just know that whatever Evan’s doing to me right now feels so good, I can’t think straight.
I want to tell him to stop. I want to do what we did that night.
Replicate how close I felt to him. His smell in my nostrils.
His salty skin pressed against my lips. Making him feel good, listening to him moan and say my name.
But his lips feel too good wrapped around my dick. His tongue dragging along the underside, pressing against that throbbing vein. Licking around the head of my leaking cock.
I give into it. Throw my head back and close my eyes. Moan like a porn star while Evan sucks my cock, giving me the best blow job of my life.