Chapter 13 Nathan
NATHAN
I’m tingling with nervous energy as I pull up to the house.
Waking up next to Evan in his bed again for the first time in years felt so right. Having breakfast with his family, laughing over his mom’s pancakes. I felt like myself again, like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
But there was a niggling doubt in the back of my mind, reminding me that Evan is still keeping me at arm’s length. That he might still see me as just a hookup. And that maybe he’s right to be worried.
A few of the guys give me sideways glances as I open the door.
“Hey man, you might want to make yourself scarce,” Archer says.
“Why?”
“Nathan?” Priestley’s voice is like a slap to the face. Shit.
“Is he really pissed about the-”
“Sorry dude,” Archer slips into the living room as Priestley comes out of the executive office.
“Come with me.”
I follow him, trying not to let my head drop. Squaring my shoulders as I enter the room.
“Close the door, Nathan.”
I close it and head over to the chair in front of the big mahogany desk. Before I can take a seat, Priestley stops me.
“Did I say you can sit down?”
“Come on Priestley, this is ridiculous.”
“Really? So you think it’s okay to miss an important mixer without even calling to tell me you’d been in a terrible accident?”
I frown. “I wasn’t in a terrible accident.”
“Sorry, you must have been in the hospital then?”
I suck in a breath. I know what he’s doing. “No.”
“So you were getting laid?”
My face flushes. “I was not ‘getting laid.’”
“No? But you were with this new guy.”
I keep my mouth closed.
He sighs and rests his hands on the desk. “At least tell me you finished the financial reports for this quarter for the meeting tonight.”
“Shit.”
This time, there’s no sigh. Just pure fury in his eyes as he pushes off the desk, nostrils flaring.
“I’m not being the bad guy here, Nathan.
This isn’t fucking Romeo and Juliet. I already told you I don’t give a shit about who you fuck, but when it starts getting in the way of your duties here, that’s when I have to step in. ”
“What are you going to do?”
“This time, I’m going to give you a chance to get the report finished. Ask Harris for help, he’s good at that stuff. But next time, you won’t get another chance. I’ll have no choice but to relieve you of your duties.”
My stomach drops. I hadn’t realized how important this was until Priestley threatened to take it away. I imagine Bryce’s reaction when he finds out I’ve been stripped of my VP duties. I’m about to thank him for giving me another chance when he interrupts me.
“Nathan, you know I’m only hard on you because I believe you have potential, right? I can’t understand why you’d want to throw all of this away for some hookup.”
“Evan is not a hookup.”
He stares me down for a second. I hope he can see the challenge in my eyes. Eventually, he backs down, sighing.
“Whatever, you’re dismissed.”
I find Ben and spend the rest of the afternoon going over the financial reports for the quarter.
Ben does most of the work. It usually takes me days to sort all these spreadsheets out and make sense of them, but Ben is a financial whiz and does it all in a couple of hours.
When he’s finished, we sit back and look at the results, feeling proud of ourselves.
Well, Ben should feel proud of himself, I was a liability as usual.
“Thank you.”
Ben blushes.
“And Ben, I’m sorry for being so caught up in my own shit that I’ve neglected you.”
“It’s okay.”
An awkward silence follows and I’m desperate to fill it.
“By the way, Priestley told me to get you to help because you’re good at this stuff.”
“Priestley said I’m good at something?”
I laugh and he joins me. For a second, it’s almost like nothing awkward has happened.
“I get the feeling he’s hardest on the people he thinks have the most potential.”
Ben rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know about that.”
“You do know you’re insanely smart and really good at all this stuff, right? That’s exactly why I need you for our business. I couldn’t do it without you.”
He nods.
“And I’m also going to be the best wingman you’ve ever seen, this summer, it’s going to be all about you getting laid.”
His face flushes and he looks away. “I think I might be busy this summer.”
I punch him lightly in the arm. “Whatever happens, Ben Harris will lose his virginity by the end of senior year.”
I drive straight over to my mom and Bryce’s house after the meeting at the frat, stopping the car out on the street so whatever car is taking my mom and Bryce to the airport can get in and out. Heaven forbid I hinder their escape. I want them gone just as much as they want to be gone.
Bryce is in the kitchen on the phone when I let myself in. He says goodbye and hangs up, smiling when he sees me with my weekend bag.
“Going to keep an eye on the place for us while we’re gone, Nathan?”
Something bubbles in the pit of my stomach at the sound of his voice. He doesn’t even notice. He’s already tapping something into his phone.
“Bryce?”
“Yes?” he asks without looking up.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, but be quick. The car’s on its way. No wild parties by the way when we’re gone.” He looks up, grinning before he catches the look on my face. “Nathan, what’s wrong?”
I take a deep breath, remind myself of how hurt Evan was when he thought I’d thrown him under the bus. “Did you tell your lawyer to put the blame on Evan?”
He frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“Back when I crashed that car. Did you throw Evan under the bus to save my skin?”
He tuts. “Why are we talking about this now? It’s all water under the bridge.”
“You know it was my fault, right? You know I was drunk and stole that car. You know I was driving. Evan had nothing to do with it.”
Bryce comes around the counter, his jaw set.
“Your mother doesn’t need this stress, just like she didn’t need it back then.
Regardless of whose fault it was, he was there when the police arrived, and if I used every means at my disposal to keep you out of trouble and stop you from getting a record, then sue me. ”
“It was juvenile, it wouldn’t have mattered-”
He raises his voice. “Everything matters in our world. Don’t you understand that? The stakes are much higher. The margin for error so much tinier.”
“That’s bullshit.” I don’t mean to say it, it just comes out. I see the shock on Bryce’s face but can’t stop myself.
“It’s people like Evan who suffer when we screw them over.
His stakes are whether or not he’s going to be able to pay his bills this month.
It’s him who one mistake can fuck up forever.
If he loses a paycheck, he’s out on the street, you lose a paycheck?
No fivestar luxury resort for you this year. ”
Bryce’s face is red. He looks like he’s going to blow his top before I see him visibly calm himself down, resting his hands on the waterfall counter and taking a deep breath.
“Listen very carefully, Nathan. I took you on. I didn’t need to.
But if you’re going to carry my name, you will behave accordingly and not embarrass me.
I wasn’t just protecting your reputation, I was protecting my own.
I took a big chance marrying your mother and adopting you.
But I love her, and so I did. You’d do well to remember how much I’ve given you. ”
He smooths his hand over his shirt and walks back around the counter, acting like I don’t exist. My skin prickles and I go cold. Is this the man I’ve been trying to impress all these years? No matter what I do, will I always be a burden? Baggage he has to deal with if he wants my mom?
“Your mother wants to say goodbye to you before we leave, you should go up to her, and tell her to get a move on.”
When I go upstairs, Mom’s in the main bathroom, dressed in a cashmere sweater and putting cosmetics into a bag.
“There’s plenty of food in the fridge, or I’ve left the number for Fiorentini’s. They’ll deliver if you tell them it’s-”
“Ma, I’ll just order Uber Eats.”
She stiffens and I freeze.
“Ma?”
“Sorry. Slip of the tongue.”
I take my weekend bag into my room and hope she doesn’t follow, my heart hammering in my chest.
When I turn around, she’s standing in the doorway, one skinny arm resting on the frame.
“What’s going on with you?” she asks.
I shrug. “Nothing.”
I start taking my clothes out of my bag and hope she’ll be gone by the time I’m finished unpacking.
“Since when do you call me Ma?”
“Since I could talk,” I shoot back.
I chance a look in her direction. She flares her nostrils, squaring her shoulders. The sight should be ridiculous. She must weight one-hundred pounds soaking wet. But she’s my mother. The last thing I want to do is make her mad.
“Have you been with him?”
My face is burning when I ask, “Who?”
“You know who. Evan.”
“Honey,” Bryce calls from downstairs. “The car’s here, we’ve got to go.”
Mom stares at me from the doorway, waiting for an answer.
“Pamela?” Bryce shouts, more insistently this time.
She takes a deep breath and puffs her chest out. “We’ll talk about this when we get back.”
I grit my teeth and force myself to stay quiet as she leaves.
The second the door slams shut behind them, I sag with relief.
But my mind is on overdrive as I wait for Evan to arrive.
Telling me I’m fucking it all up. This opportunity.
This life. I keep telling Evan it’s not me.
That it doesn’t matter. But when was the last time I had nothing? Can I even remember what that was like?