Chapter 8
EIGHT
BLUE
“I hope you haven’t been avoiding me,” Asher said as he dropped down next to me. We were gathered in what we called the green room at Lukas’s place for the shoot. Truthfully, I hadn’t been avoiding him. Work had been insane and to be perfectly honest… okay, maybe I’d been avoiding him a little.
“Work has been a nightmare. One of the girls quit with no notice so everyone’s been trying to fill in the gaps, and by everyone, I mean everyone has been making me take on as much of her responsibility as they can.”
Asher ducked his head. “What do you do again?” he asked, biting back a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I know you went back to school, but I can’t remember what for. I should know these things”
“Relax, Ashy. It’s fine. I’m a vet tech.” I swear saying that made Asher look at me with hearts in his eyes. “It’s not the most glamorous job, but I’ve always wanted to work with animals.”
As if on cue, Lara moseyed into the room and sat down next to me, letting out a groan as she did like it was so much effort for her.
“She’s so dramatic,” Asher said, reaching down to pet her. “Is Jax here yet?”
“Not yet. He’ll be here soon though.”
“I think he wanted to run through what the scene was going to be like. I know Lukas said that he had a basic script for us.” Asher’s discomfort about Lukas and what had happened between them had softened, but I could see he was still a little hurt about the whole thing.
“It’s less of a script and more of a… a guideline to set the scene for us. There’s no lines we need to memorize. We can ad-lib everything.”
“What if I’m bad at it?” Asher rolled his shoulders inward, and he kept his gaze trained on Lara, who was trying her best to be a calming influence on Asher.
I couldn’t help but scoot closer to him and slip an arm around him.
I rubbed his back a few times, then decided to run my fingers through the hair at the back of his head.
The way he melted into my touch made my heart hurt for him.
If anyone needed a fucking hug, it was Asher.
“Ashy, it’s porn. The actual acting is never good, and I’m sure it’s an insult to legitimate actors to call it acting. Don’t worry about being good or bad.”
He let out an awkward-sounding laugh. “That’s not what most people want to hear right before they shoot a porno.”
“Don’t worry about that either. I have a feeling that you’ll do just fine. More than fine.” I didn’t have to watch the footage from the screen test to know that there was chemistry between us. It crackled in the air whenever Asher and I were in the same space now.
I’d been around him before, but only as friends, as people who worked in different parts of the same industry. Up until now, Asher had been a behind-the-scenes guy. Working alongside Lukas to make everything run smoothly for the performers. But now, Asher was ready to step in front of the camera.
I knew I wasn’t his first choice of scene partner, but his first choice was a non-starter. Lukas had spent the past two years trying to fill the big brother void that Leo left, and that was all he’d ever want to be for Asher.
“I’m glad that I get to be involved in your first shoot,” I told him, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek.
“Hey now, save that for when the cameras are rolling,” Jax protested as he swept into the room. He flopped down on the couch on the other side of Asher. “Are you excited? Are you nervous? You haven’t jerked off today, have you?”
“Are you on drugs?” I asked Jax. I hadn’t filmed with him in a few years and I’d forgotten how he could get before a shoot. Normally laid back, Jax before a shoot was all kinds of keyed up.
“Why? Did you want some?” Jax wiggled his eyebrows at me. “No, I’m not on drugs.”
“Just high on life then,” Asher quipped.
“High on the knowledge of all the delightfully dirty things Blue and I are going to do to you.”
Asher looked at Jax, then at me, then back at Jax. “Have the two of you been conspiring against me? I’m not mad; I just need to know what I’m in for.”
“You’re in for the time of your life,” Jax said. “Blue and I will make sure of it.”
Jax had a confidence that was easy to believe and even easier to trust. It seemed to soothe Asher’s nerves enough that he was able to take a deep breath and let out a sigh that appeared to flush a lot of the nerves out of his system.
His shoulders were no longer rounded like he was trying to make himself smaller.
Asher was clearly comfortable with Jax in a way that he wasn’t with me.
Was I jealous? Maybe a little.
“So, what’s the plan?” Asher asked.
“Well, according to Lukas, he wants us to have some kind of a script, just because he thinks it will help ease you into the scene,” Jax explained.
“Do you think he’s right?”
“I think it would be fun. Right or wrong is beside the point. What do you think, Blue?”
“I think a little script or a loose role play would help break the ice. Sometimes it can be easier to be on camera if you can pretend that you’re someone else. On that note, have you decided on a stage name? Everyone needs a stage name.”
Asher glanced at me. “What? You mean your name isn’t Blue?”
“Weird, huh? Proof that my parents liked me at one point in my life, even if they don’t now.”
“Your parents are stupid,” Asher said, then he grimaced. “Sorry. That was rude.”
“It’s fine. My parents are stupid.” It was common knowledge that my parents kicked me out when they found out I was gay.
At first, porn had been a way to get back at them while making money to keep myself alive.
And then it had become a way to be intimate with people without letting them get close enough to hurt me.
If I wanted sex, I booked a scene or found someone to collab with.
I spaced out repeats or avoided them altogether.
And so far it had worked. My heart was safe.
The biggest danger to it right now was how much I wanted this shoot with both of them.
I hadn’t been with Jax in a few years, and that was on purpose.
Our first scene together had been nothing short of magic.
Angels sang. Fireworks popped. Jax rocked my world. So naturally, I avoided him after.
Until now.
I thought enough time had gone by that I wouldn’t be in danger of getting attached to him but already I knew that wasn’t the case.
I knew it from the way I wanted him to look at me.
To notice me. To give me some of the attention he was giving Asher.
I knew it in the way my knees wobbled when Jax caught my gaze and flashed me a smile.
I wanted to know if he was as nervous as I was? Or excited? Or if he was only excited about getting to shoot with Asher and I was a fun bonus.
“So,” I cleared my throat. “What’s the plan?”
“Ash here is going to be my younger, virginal stepbrother, and you can be my best friend. The way it plays out in my head is that Asher runs into the room and slams into me, I play the part of the concerned stepbrother, and after a very short conversation, we end up naked.”
I shifted so I could get a better look at Jax. “Stepbrothers?”
Jax shrugged. “It’s either that or Asher gets stuck in a dryer or under the bed and we have to fuck him free.”
“I am not doing that.” Asher laughed.
“Stepbrothers it is,” I agreed. “Now, the fun part. With you as the newest performer, it’s up to Jax and me to be the best scene partners we can be, to make sure you have a good experience.
Now, some of the fun will be us discovering what you like, but if there’s anything that’s off-limits, please tell us. ”
“Yeah, one guy I was with didn’t tell me his feet were like next level ticklish.
I had him on his back and his legs were in the air, and as I was holding him by the ankles, I thought there’s no harm in kissing his foot.
It’s right there. It’s clean.” Jax’s smile got wider as the story progressed.
“So I kiss the instep of his foot and his whole leg jerks, and then suddenly, Wham! I get a foot to the face.”
“Oh, my God,” Asher said, hanging off Jax’s every word.
I’d heard the story before, but from other people instead of Jax. The way Jax told it was far more interesting than the bare bones version I’d heard only as gossip.
“The director yells cut. There’s blood everywhere. My dick has gone so soft that it’s practically crawled back up inside my body. The guy I’m shooting with is mortified. He’s also not good with blood, so he’s mortified and hysterical. And then he’s unconscious.”
“He passed out?” I asked, holding back my laughter.
“Out fucking cold. So by the time we got my nose to stop bleeding, got him awake and the bedroom cleaned up, neither one of us were particularly interested in trying again. The moment had definitely been lost.”
“Did you reschedule the shoot?” Ash asked.
“Nope. We tried, but he couldn’t look at me for six months without getting dizzy from remembering all the blood. And then things just didn’t work out. So that’s why you need to tell us if there’s anything that’s off-limits. Had he told me about his hyper-sensitive feet, I’d have steered clear.”
“Well, my feet are ticklish, but not to the point that I’d kick you in the face. I can’t think of anything inside the realm of regular sex that I don’t want to do with either of you.”
“Regular sex?” Jax asked. “As opposed to extra crispy?”
Asher shoved him. “As opposed to whips and chains and watersports.”
“What do you know about that?” Jax asked, eyes wide.
“Personally, not much. In general, I have the same internet you do.”
Wrapping my arms around Asher, I pulled him against me and indulged myself in brushing my lips against the soft patch of skin below his ear.
“So, in the regular realm of sex, as you put it, you’d be okay bottoming?”
“Uh, do ducks quack?”
I dragged my hands down his chest, fully aware of the way Jax’s eyes tracked my every move.
“And what about topping?” I asked next, letting my fingers brush over his chest. Asher squirmed in my hold like he was trying to get closer to me.
“Anything. Topping. Bottoming. Frot. Blow jobs. Rimming. I’m down for all of it. I haven’t been able to ditch the gag reflex, though, so maybe proceed with caution.”
“Some guys like to feel a cute twink gag on their cock,” Jax said.
Asher shifted so he could look at me over his shoulder. “Did you hear that? Jax wants you to choke on his cock.”
“Are you saying that I’m a cute twink?” I gently booped Asher on the nose. “That’s sweet, but I think I already lived through my twink death.”
“Not true,” Asher said. “A real twink never dies.”
“Pretty sure that’s not how that works, but thank you for trying.”
The door to the green room opened and Lukas stepped inside. He looked at the three of us like he was examining us. We were all tangled up together in some way, and Lukas must have liked whatever he saw because he smiled softly as he started to speak.
“The room is all set up and ready when you three are.” Lukas stopped and looked at his phone for a long moment, then looked back at us. “I see that all three of you have filed new test results, so I’ll trust you to decide if you’re going to use condoms or not.”
“Give us a few minutes, Lukas?” I asked, though it wasn’t really a question.
He nodded. “Take all the time you need.”
Once Lukas had left and the door shut behind him, I looked Asher in the eyes.
“Tell us what you want, and we’ll make it happen.”
He looked at me, then at Jax, then at his lap. His cheeks turned pink and it spread up to the tips of his ears and down his neck. He didn’t speak for another minute or so, and when he did, his voice was small and tentative.
“I trust you,” he said. “Both of you.” He looked at Jax, then at me. “I want to not make any decisions about this other than the fact that I want you bare. I understand if you feel that puts a lot of pressure on you.”
“It’s fine,” Jax said. “It’s not a lot of pressure. It’s a very small amount of pressure. Blue and I know what we’re doing. And if at any time you need a break, or if something isn’t working, you just tell us.”
“What if I mess up?”
“You won’t.” I combed my fingers through Asher’s hair again. “And if you do, know that we have all messed up at some point and that no one will be mad or upset or think less of you or judge you in any way if you need to stop.”
Asher nodded, then let out a little groan. Raking his hands down his face, he sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled forcefully as he pulled his hands away again.
“Okay. I’m as ready as I’m ever going to get.” He pushed himself to his feet. “Let’s do this.”