Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
JAX
Lukas
Expect a call from Asher
The text stared at me and I stared back at it, wanting some context for the out-of-the-blue message. Then another one came through.
He probably won’t call but he needs a friend today
Do I want to know?
He can fill you in. Or not. He’s… had a rough day.
Got it
My next text was to Blue, who I also hadn’t seen or heard from since the day of our shoot, but that was par for the course with him.
We have an Asher emergency
Blue responded almost immediately, which did funny, jealous things to me.
Blue
What’s wrong?
No idea. Lukas said to expect a call from him. Or not, because it’s Asher. But he’s had a tough day.
If you get his address from Lukas, we can ambush him
No worries. I know where it is. I helped him with a couch once.
Send me the address and meet me there in thirty
I’ll bring snacks
Yes, Sir.
Careful who you call Sir. They might take you seriously.
God, I hoped he did. I’d let Blue boss me around in and out of bed. I was shamelessly and hopelessly hooked on him, and I was willing to admit that I’d do whatever he wanted me to do.
But today wasn’t about the things I wanted from Blue in and out of bed.
Today was about Asher. I didn’t warn Asher that I was going to come over; that might have given him a chance to hide.
I figured it was best to just show up. Lukas hadn’t given me details about why Asher would be allegedly getting in touch, but if I were to venture a guess, it was likely more fallout from the kiss Asher had planted on him.
The kiss bothered me a little, if I were to be honest with myself.
I liked Asher. I thought we had a good connection during the screen test, and then he’d gone and kissed Lukas right after in a fit of desperation.
It seemed like every time I liked someone, they liked someone else more.
I tried not to be sour about it, especially since Blue didn’t seem to like anyone enough to let them close to him.
In school, I’d kept my attraction to guys under wraps.
And though I went out with girls and found them aesthetically appealing, sexy even, I never felt that spark.
. Bisexual on one hand, homoromantic on the other.
And even though I had no interest in dating women, when I had done so I’d still been passed over for other people.
There was just something about me that made it easy for people to ignore me. Which was fine. I’d find my person one day. In the meantime, I’d just keep being myself.
Blue and I arrived at Asher’s at the same time.
He had a bottle of wine in one hand and a tote bag full of snacks in the other.
He smiled when he saw me, and my stupid heart did a kick-flip.
I couldn’t help it. He was just so fucking pretty with his blue eyes sparkling in the sun and his smile showing off that fucking dimple of his.
I had dreams about kissing that fucking thing.
“Hey. Did you see that Lukas sent us the rough cut of our scene?” Blue said as we fell into step next to each other and headed for Asher’s door.
Asher lived in the same apartment that he’d lived in with his brother Leo.
Sometimes I wished I would have been closer to Leo when he was alive, but then I thought of how much I liked Asher, and I wondered if it would have been weird for me if I’d been close with Leo.
“I didn’t actually. Is that why you brought snacks?”
“Figured a watch party might be fun. I haven’t had one in years.”
“I don’t know that I’ve ever had one.”
“Really?” Blue seemed surprised by this. “They’re great. I like them. They make me feel like I’m connected to the people I performed with.”
The scene we did hadn’t felt like a performance.
At least not to me. But I knew better than to say anything to Blue.
He was one of those people who would slip away the harder you tried to hold on, and yet he was here at Asher’s door with wine and snacks and the intention of watching our scene together.
Was I third-wheeling?
That thought never got off the ground before Blue was knocking on the door.
“Ashy, let us in,” Blue said as he continued to knock, only stopping when the deadbolt disengaged and the door swung open.
Blue barged in, blowing past Asher, who looked like he’d gone ten rounds in the ring and lost. His face was puffy from crying, not that I’d tell him I noticed that.
“Lukas said you were going to message us.” I held Asher’s gaze until he stepped aside and invited me into the apartment. Unlike Blue, who already had his shoes off and was unpacking his snacks onto the coffee table, I had manners.
“What’s this?” Asher asked, seeing the spread.
“This is a watch party,” Blue said. “Lukas sent us the rough cut of the footage. River’s been working on it, and he said it’s really good. I thought it would be nice to watch it together.”
The nonchalance in Blue’s voice was almost convincing, but I detected a slight bit of uncertainty underneath. His brightness seemed almost forced, like he wanted to be more excited than he was. Or he was more excited than he was letting on. As much as I wanted to be, I wasn’t a mind reader.
“Aren’t you going to ask why Lukas said I was going to call you?” Asher tucked his hands into his pockets and rolled his shoulders forward, hunching down, trying to make himself look smaller.
“I assumed it was because the footage was ready,” Blue replied, perfectly clueless.
“He might have hinted at a tough day, but he didn’t go into specifics.” My bit of honesty made Asher sigh and visibly deflate.
An uncomfortable silence followed, and then Blue rescued us all by slinging an arm around Asher and towing him toward the couch.
“You know,” Blue said. “The cure for a bad day is definitely watching yourself get railed on camera for the first time.”
Asher laughed and let Blue steer him to the couch.
Blue sat him in the center, then looked at me and flicked his gaze to the empty space on the other side of Asher.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be there, but I was positive I was third-wheeling.
Like I could leave and Asher and Blue would have a good time without me there.
But when I dropped down next to Asher, he let out a sigh and relaxed into the back of the couch.
“Aren’t you going to ask what I did?” he asked, closing his eyes like it would hide him from his embarrassment.
“Do you want to tell us?” Blue countered, his tone gentle. I watched him reach over and put a hand on Asher’s knee. “You can if you want, but you don’t have to.”
After taking a deep breath, Asher exhaled. “I think I’d rather watch our scene.”
He opened his eyes, and it was me he looked at first, which felt like a win. “I bet we were hot as fuck. It felt like we were.”
“I may or may not have added memories of our time together to my shower routine.” My confession made Asher’s cheeks turn a violent shade of pink, and he cleared his throat.
Blue cracked open the bottle of wine with a corkscrew he’d brought with him. “Do you have wine glasses?” he asked, then shook his head before Ash could answer. “Doesn’t matter.”
He took a drink directly from the bottle, then passed it over to Asher. When Asher hesitated, Blue smirked. “We’ve shared body fluids before.”
Asher shrugged, then took the bottle from Blue. After a small sip, he pulled it away from his mouth with a grimace. “Is it supposed to taste like that?”
He tried to hand it back to Blue, but Blue pushed his hand away. “Pass it on down to Jax.”
I took the bottle and glanced at the label. “Not a merlot fan?” I asked Asher, who glared at the wine like it had personally offended him.
“I’m not sure what merlot even is, but no.”
Blue tore open a bag of chips and shoved it at Asher. “Here, chomp on these. I’ll get the screen cast going so we can watch.”
Blue turned Asher’s television on and then a minute later, Lukas’s studio logo popped up on the screen. I appreciated the fact that Lukas never layered lame porn music in over top of the footage.
The shot opened with Blue relaxed on the couch, reading a book, looking far too fucking sexy for my own good. Already my dick was a steel rod leaking in my fucking shorts. Before long I was going to have a damp spot.
“God, the two of you are fucking hot,” Ash said. The bag rustled as he dug in for a chip. “I mean, look at you. The jock. The nerd. And then the innocent, kind of dumb, stepbrother. I look like a dweeb next to you.” Asher popped the chip into his mouth and crunched it.
“You look hot,” I told him.
“I look like I’m a teenager.”
“You look like someone who is about to get his guts rearranged,” Blue said, earning a laugh from Ash.
“I mean, look at him, Jax. He’s all wide-eyed and quivering.
Sexy as hell, if you ask me.” Blue reached past Asher and held his hand out for the bottle of wine. I took a sip before passing it to him.
And maybe it was my imagination, but Blue seemed to hold my gaze during the interaction. His fingers brushed against mine when they didn’t have to, and there was fire there. Sparks. Chemistry that I couldn’t deny even if I wanted to.
But I wasn’t the one who denied myself things the way Blue did. The vision of him watching Asher and me together wouldn’t leave me. I’d been watched before, but there had been something extra enticing about having Blue’s eyes on me as Asher and I chased our pleasure.
“Holy shit, the two of you are so blazing you’re going to melt the TV.” Asher leaned forward so he could get a better look, probably, and Blue and I glanced at each other behind his back.
The connection between us was still there, thrumming like it was a living thing. Pulsing like a heartbeat. It grew bigger every time I saw him, and now it was this unignorable thing between us, taking up all the oxygen in the room.
“Fuck me,” Asher exhaled as he squirmed in his seat. “How are we supposed to watch this without having a repeat performance?”
“Who says we can’t?” It wasn’t really a question.
It was more of an offer. I looked over at Blue, knowing that I’d give anything to get closer to him but unwilling to push his boundaries.
“If Blue wants to watch again, I wouldn’t be opposed.
Or if he wanted to join, we could film it for bonus content for Lukas or for our own sites. That way his rules stay unbroken.”
Blue snapped his mouth shut, then took a sip of wine. He tried to offer it to Asher again, but Asher passed. Which left Blue having to look at me as he passed the bottle back to me.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want, Blue,” I reassured him as I plucked the bottle out of his hand, my gaze unwavering. My eyes pleading with him to want me.