Chapter Five
Jin
I set my laptop on my coffee table while I sit on the ground, my back against my couch. I’ve entered the link that Leo sent me so that I could check out this streamer he was telling me about.
Leo is very soft. I’m so used to chaos that some people might think soft or quiet would bore me but it’s the exact opposite. Leo fascinates me. The quiet feels cozy. When it comes to Leo, I can’t seem to look away.
I pull up the stream and sit back against the couch, stretching my legs out in front of me under the table. I grab my phone and send Leo a message.
Me: Are you watching? I just pulled it up so I can watch with you :)
Leo: I’m watching! Blue just started! How was work today?
I can’t stop smiling as I read the message. We’re watching something together. It might be silly but that makes my heart flutter and my stomach warm. Leo wants to know about my day and I want to tell him.
I’m still so conflicted with my feelings. I can’t seem to get enough of Leo. Even if he was velcro’d to my hip, I probably wouldn’t think it was enough. Every time we have to part, I feel my chest ache. I want to know everything about him. I want to crawl under his skin and make a home there.
At the same time, he’s not my soulmate. No one is. Am I really okay with that?
Fuck, maybe I should find the tattoo artist again and ask her for another. Maybe, with her magic, I can piece together what the hell is going on inside of me. Maybe she can tell me one way or another, if I was destined to be alone.
Even as I wonder, there’s so much uncertainty about that statement.
If I was meant to be alone, then why can’t I stop thinking about Leo?
If I didn’t have a soulmate, why does it feel like my chest wants to crack itself open so Leo can gaze upon my heart?
When I wrap my hand around my cock, why is it Leo’s face I can’t stop picturing?
I want to see him. I want to see him so badly that it makes my chest ache.
Me: Work was really good! I’m starting to figure out our regulars and have their orders memorized! Brenda let me handle the register all day and I didn’t fuck up a single time. AND the guy from the bakery let me have some free cookies!
Leo: That sounds like a pretty perfect day :)
It really was, except for the fact that I didn’t get to see Leo.
Me: Can I have your address?
Leo: What??? Why?
Me: I’m having something delivered and need your address.
Leo: What? You don’t have to do that! Plus, that means I’d have to put pants on, Jin!
Me: Pretty please? I promise it’ll be worth it!
Leo sends me his address with a series of questions that make me grin.
My stomach is a swirling mess of excitement and nervousness.
That’s so strange. I don’t usually get nervous, especially around other people.
Leo makes me feel things I’ve never felt before.
He’s bringing things out in me for the very first time.
It’s scary. At the same time it’s exhilarating!
As quickly as I can, I finish my bowl of ramen. After putting my dishes away, I grab my wallet, put my headband back into place to keep my hair out of my face, and then head out the door. At the last second, I remember I’m supposed to be bringing a ‘delivery’.
Turning back into my apartment, I grab the box I was gifted at the end of my shift. Mason, the guy who manages the bakery, said these were too stale to sell anymore so he gave them to me. I tasted one earlier and they don’t seem stale to me!
Hopefully Leo likes chocolate chip cookies. Honestly, what kind of person doesn’t like cookies? Maybe that would be the thing to make this raging crush slow the fuck down.
I pull out my phone as I walk, entering the address that Leo gave me into the GPS. I follow the instructions. After about a fifteen minute walk, I find an apartment complex. I carefully check the numbers on the side of the buildings until I find the right one.
Me: Leo! Come down and let the delivery boy in!
Leo: Huh? Usually they just leave it at the door or buzz up to me.
Me: bzz bzz bzz
I can’t help but giggle, anticipation making my chest all fluttery. It only takes another minute before I see Leo through the glass door. I wave my hand excitedly, watching as his face morphs from apprehension to confusion and then finally a grin.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Leo asks, opening the door for me. I step inside, holding up the box in my hands.
“I told you. I have an extra special delivery for you!”
“I see that,” he says softly, shaking his head at me. I’m worried for a moment that maybe I’ve overstepped. Before I can backpedal and start to apologize, I see the little smile on Leo’s face. “Come on. My apartment is up here.”
I follow behind Leo, my eyes darting up to his ass as he climbs the stairs. My stomach is filled with an excited swirl of warmth. When Leo looks at me from over his shoulder, I make sure to mask my face, not wanting him to catch me staring at him.
Leo unlocks the door to apartment 17, letting me inside before following behind. I slip off my shoes and walk inside, looking around at everything.
Leo’s apartment is small which is understandable since it’s just him living here, very similar to my own. There’s a kitchen that opens up into a living space with two doors off to the side, probably a bathroom and his bedroom.
There’s pictures and art on the wall. There’s one in particular that makes me grin.
It’s Bren and Leo, their arms around each other.
They look like they’re laughing. The thing that really confuses me though, is the fact that they look so much older than they actually are.
I wonder if they were doing some sort of makeup or costume.
Before I can ask about it, Leo is stealing the box from my hands. “Show me this special delivery, Jin.”
I chuckle, handing over the box. Once it’s in his hands, I pop open the top, revealing the cookies.
“Oh shit. Are these from the bakery?”
“They are. Mason gave them to me because they couldn’t sell them.”
“Oh my gods. Your job at the mall just keeps getting better and better,” Leo says, taking two cookies out of the box before setting it down on the table. He hands one over to me and starts eating the other one.
“I really like my job,” I murmur, trying not to stare at the way Leo is eating his cookie, a couple crumbs dusting his bottom lip. His tongue comes out, swiping them away.
My stomach feels like molten lava, arousal so strong it threatens to plow me over.
I’ve never felt like this before. Leo is just so different to anyone else I’ve ever met.
I want to give him pieces of myself I’ve never actively tried to hide but have never given to anyone else.
He makes me want to sit close and hold him and kiss him and oh, okay.
I’ve never done that before but with Leo, I want. I want everything.
Without thinking, I pull out my phone and pull up the tattoo artist’s page on social media. Before I can second guess myself, I send her a message. Then I push my phone back into my pocket.
One way or another, I’m getting to the bottom of this tattoo on my shoulder. Just thinking about it makes the ink itch against my skin and I’m not sure if that’s from me thinking about it or if that’s just the healing process. Maybe a little of both.
“Come on,” Leo says, taking my wrist and pulling me into the living room. Sparks light up my skin, dancing up my arm at the simple touch. “We can watch Blue on my TV for a bit if you want.”
“I want,” I say without thinking. Leo looks at me, his eyes widening. There’s a dusting of blush across his cheeks that leave my stomach twisting with something I can only name as fondness or maybe affection.
We sit down on the couch with space between us. I immediately feel sad about that space. I want to scoot over until our sides are touching. I want to wrap my arm around his back and pull him close. I want to lean over and kiss his cheek.
Jesus, what the hell has gotten into me?
“What’s Blue up to?”
Leo gives me a small smile. “He’s doing a wheel of content.”
“What’s that?”
“Okay, so chat was allowed to donate money with a message, giving Blue an idea to put on the wheel. The best ones ended up on the wheel and then he’ll spin and do whatever it lands on until the wheel lands on ‘end stream’.
So far he’s done a shoey, kick flipped on his skateboard until he landed it, taken an edible, and now he’s attempting to recreate a few couples yoga poses someone sent him with his roommate. ”
“What the hell is a shoey?”
“Oh! Apparently it’s where you dump a beer into a shoe and then chug it out of the shoe.”
“What?” I turn towards Leo, pulling my left leg up onto the couch and bringing it to my chest. “I’m sorry, what? You drink a beer out of a shoe?”
Leo chuckles, nodding his head. “It’s nasty, right? I’ve never heard of it but apparently it’s like an actual thing.”
“Maybe he’s got a foot fetish and this is his secret way of indulging.”
Leo slaps my leg, his laughter getting even louder. I like this. I like seeing him laugh. I would do so many silly things to keep that smile on his face. He’s like sunshine on a cloudy day, breaking through to shine just for me.
“I don’t think so,” Leo says, shaking his head. His brown hair flops over his forehead and he pushes it away, adding to the mess on top of his head. “Chat kept saying it was an actual thing. Surely they’re not all lying.”
I turn back to the screen, watching as Blue attempts a yoga pose that seems way too intimate to be doing in front of a camera like this.
He’s straddling his roommate, leaning his hands back against the guy’s knees which are bent at a weird angle.
Blue tosses his head back, trying to dip back as far as he can.
His roommate can’t stop laughing, throwing both of them off.
“Wow,” Leo says, covering his face. “I’m getting hit with secondhand embarrassment from this one.”
The roommate plants his hands on the floor, trying to bend his spine so that his hips and shoulders are still on the ground but his spine isn’t.
It looks the furthest thing from comfortable if I’m being honest. Finally, the two of them tip over and end up in a pile on the ground, laughing until they’re wheezing.
Leo giggles next to me, stealing my attention once more.
“Hey, Leo?”
“Yeah?”
Leo turns towards me, his big brown eyes blinking at me. I put my leg down so it’s folded in front of me, out of the way. I lean forward, my face getting closer to his.
I’m not even sure what I’m going to ask. I’m simply a vessel for the words to flow through.
“Would it be okay if I kissed you?”
Leo’s eyes widen and that blush is back full force. Gods, he’s beautiful. If I could sit here and stare at him all night, I think I would be content.
“What?”
“I asked if I could kiss you.”
“But why?”
I tilt my head to the side. Some of my hair falls into my eyes despite my headband. I push it away.
“Because I want to?”
“Why?”
I can’t help but smile. “Because I like you and you’re beautiful. I’ve never kissed anyone before so I’m sorry if I’m not good at it.”
“You’ve never kissed anyone before? Really? I find that really hard to believe.”
“I like trying new things. You’re the first person I’ve wanted to try kissing,” I explain softly. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, but looking at you now, watching you laugh…” my words drift off and I shake my head. “I couldn’t stop myself from asking.”
“Okay.”
My heart stutters in my chest. My hand grips my knee tightly. Did I just hear him say that or did my mind make it up because I so desperately wanted him to agree?
“Say that again? Please?”
Leo’s pink tongue comes out, swiping across his bottom lip. My eyes track the motion. He clears his throat and looks up at me, looking more sure of himself.
“I said okay. You can kiss me.”
I smile so wide my cheeks hurt. I reach for him, my hand coming up to his face, holding his cheek softly. Gods, I hope my technique isn’t shit.
I lean forward until our lips are barely not touching. I stop there, waiting. I only have to wait a second before Leo is moving, pushing forward, and connecting our lips.