15. The One and Done Rule #2
Robbie glanced at Jake, his eyes dull with the kind of tiredness he couldn’t simply sleep off. “Probably.”
“Another reason you have to stay here, then, huh?”
“Yep.”
After dinner, they moved to the couch with the platter of freshly warmed cinnamon rolls.
Isabel and Robbie chatted freely while Jake sat back and listened.
He learned some interesting things about Robbie’s family, from the trust fund they’d dangled in front of Robbie when he picked his major in college—business or marketing gave him a tidy little sum; English literature lost it—to the cheating scandal that nearly tore the first Robert Eaton’s family apart, to the time Robert Jr. tried to get a statue built in his honor.
It was a lot to take in, and none of it made Jake see Robbie’s family in a kinder light.
Robbie, however, came out smelling like roses—a whole garden of them, like the ones the Eatons supposedly had somewhere on their expansive property that Isabel spoke of in a wistful tone.
“I’m very fortunate, really,” Robbie said. “Not everyone would have so many stories to tell.” He chuckled, but Jake could tell he only did it to keep the mood light.
Jake offered a sympathetic smile in return. “Shame it comes with that bad of a family.”
“It could be worse.”
Isabel got up with a sigh. “Well, I should be getting to bed soon. You two can stay out here and talk for a while longer. Just lock the door after Robbie leaves, okay, Jake?”
Jake’s stomach clenched. Don’t leave me alone, he thought. Please don’t leave me alone with him. “I’ll make sure of it. Goodnight, Aunt Isabel.”
“Goodnight. Thank you again for coming, Robbie. The cinnamon rolls were delicious.”
“I’ll make them again the next time we get together.”
There could not be a next time, not as long as Jake wanted to keep his rule unbroken, and Robbie finally understood that. The way he sat, tense and ready to jump up at the drop of a hat, told Jake all he needed to know.
Suddenly, the few inches between them on the couch were not enough. Isabel’s chair was empty, so Jake stood, ready to move across to it, when a hand closed around his wrist.
“Stay here.”
He looked back at Robbie, who wore a pleading expression. Jake had never seen him like this before. It couldn’t possibly be a good sign.
“Have you been sleeping well?” Jake asked, the question as loaded as it could get.
“No,” Robbie admitted. “Have you?”
“How could I?”
“Right.”
“I’m, uh, I’m thinking about getting back on MatchdUp,” Jake said. “I know there’s no one in town, but if I expanded the search radius, Grayland seems like a decent place to find hookups outside of Oxygen. I really don’t want to go back there after last time.”
“I suppose not.” Robbie gazed down at the half-eaten plate of cinnamon rolls. In this moment, he was entirely unreadable.
“Or I could… never mind.”
“What?”
“No, it was a stupid thought.”
Robbie finally looked up at Jake again, his gaze dropping from Jake’s face down to his chest, and then lower. One time had not been enough. It would never have been enough.
“I should’ve listened to you in the beginning,” Jake said. “About not complicating things.”
“It was complicated the moment you arrived in town,” Robbie said. “We’ve only been putting off the inevitable.”
“Maybe we could still—”
Robbie shook his head. “I’ll go now, but we’re going to have to face this eventually. I can’t get you off my mind, Jake. You consume every single thought. It’s unbearable. I wasn’t supposed to like you.”
“How do you think I feel?” Jake snapped. He looked back toward the hallway, praying Isabel hadn’t heard his raised voice.
“You promised me you could keep a handle on it.”
“I promised you.” Jake took a deep breath against the oppressive ache in his chest. “Don’t go, Robbie,” he murmured.
“What about your rule?”
“Fuck the rule.” Jake regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. He was being reckless at a time when he absolutely could not afford to be.
Robbie’s jaw twitched. He looked like a deer in headlights. “I don’t know, Jake.” He drew out the words, filling them with a deep longing. “It won’t end well.”
“You’re right.” Jake folded his hands in his lap.
Robbie’s gaze flickered down to them. He swallowed hard. “What do you want?”
“I want to go back to before I ever came here. I want to pretend I never met you, so we wouldn’t have to deal with all this.
” Jake raised his hands in the air, drawing them in an imaginary arch.
“But I can’t. We can’t ever take any of this back.
Give me one good reason we should do this, and you know I’ll fold. ”
“Just one?” Robbie’s eyebrow lifted, the slightest trace of a smile crossing his lips.
His hand moved to rest on Jake’s leg, fingers crawling up his inner thigh, where they rested just below the fly of Jake’s jeans. Jake looked down to take one last look at Robbie’s perfect hand, framed by the charcoal-colored watch he sometimes wore, and then closed his eyes.
The curtains on the window by the door were open, letting anyone walking past see into the house.
The clock on the wall ticked away, each second giving Jake less and less time to change his mind.
Robbie kissed him, those few seconds feeling like minutes.
Jake’s paper-thin resolve was slipping away fast.
“What about tomorrow?” Jake asked weakly, clawing at whatever he could use to prevent himself from making the second greatest mistake of his life. “It’s getting late.”
“Do you need to be anywhere tomorrow morning?”
“You do.”
“I can manage my own time, Jake.” Robbie’s hands trailed down Jake’s chest till they reached the hem of his shirt.
With Jake’s help, he pulled it off, tossing it off the side of the couch.
“You want me, Jake,” he murmured. Every time he said Jake’s name, Jake’s heart skipped a beat. “Admit it. You need me.”
Jake opened his eyes. Robbie’s own eyes sparkled, piercing directly into him with their desire. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t. And I don’t hate you. We never hated each other.” Robbie pulled Jake’s lower lip between his teeth, and Jake whimpered.
“Fuck, how do you do this to me so easily?”
Robbie sat back enough to look Jake up and down. “I know you,” he said, “and I know how to get to you. It’s a skill.”
Jake thought back to the lunch, and before that, the alleyway, and his heart fluttered again. “You should use it more often.”
“You know how dangerous that can be.”
“So what’s changed to make you do it now?”
“Because I have no self-control when I’m around you, and we both knew that from the very beginning.”