16. Breaking the Rules
brEAKING THE RULES
Robbie’s words hung in the air uncomfortably, but that didn’t stop them from continuing down the path they had forged weeks before. Jake let his tongue run along the smooth edges of Robbie’s teeth, grinding into Robbie’s lap while his fingers closed around delicate mother-of-pearl buttons.
Robbie’s shirt joined Jake’s on the floor, and a satisfied sigh escaped Robbie’s lips as his hand trailed down Jake’s back.
“We should go to the bedroom,” Jake breathed. “No one can—” Their lips met again. “No one’ll see us in there.”
Robbie glanced up at the window. The neighbors across the street still had a light on inside, and a dog barked somewhere nearby. “Yeah, maybe that’s a good idea.” He brushed his hair out of his face as he waited for Jake to move.
They made their way down the hall, where Jake opened the door to the small, dark room. Robbie closed it behind them by pushing Jake against it, keeping him there long enough to get a few more kisses.
When he finally turned around to look at the room, his hands slipped from Jake’s back. “This is it?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah, of course.” Jake eyed him with mounting frustration. “What else were you expecting? My aunt doesn’t live in a palace.”
“Right.” Robbie shook his head as though he were chastising himself. “I don’t know what I was thinking. That’s, uh, that’s a tiny bed, though.”
“What, you’ve never had sex in a bed this size before?”
“I grew up in a big house, remember? Twin-sized beds weren’t a thing.” He must have noticed the annoyance rising in Jake, because he quickly added, “I’m always up for something new, though.”
“Really?” Jake raised an eyebrow critically.
“Yes, really, Jake. I’m more adventurous than you give me credit for.”
“Well, you did show up here tonight after everything that’s gone on between us, so maybe you’re on to something.”
“Shut up and get over here.”
Jake locked the door and stepped forward, letting Robbie rest his hands on his ass as they melted together again. “That’s my line.”
“It’s mine tonight.” Robbie gazed down at Jake, half-lidded, before kissing him again.
“You dick,” Jake muttered.
“Where are your condoms?”
Jake nodded his head back. “In the nightstand drawer. I’ll get one.”
“No, I’ll get it.”
“It’s fine; I know where they are.”
Robbie pulled away. “You’ve got to learn to let go of your need for control once in a while.”
“I’m not controlling, if that’s what you’re saying.”
“It’s not.” Robbie took a condom and a bottle of lube out of the drawer. He slid it shut again carefully, turning his attention back to Jake. “You just don’t know how to let someone else take over sometimes.”
“Well, if you’re talking about you, it’s because I don’t trust you to—”
Robbie put his hands on Jake’s waist just above his hips, silencing whatever Jake had planned to say. “You do trust me,” he said softly, “or you wouldn’t be doing this right now.”
Jake remained silent. It was hard to argue with Robbie when he was right, even when he’d done it fairly successfully before. It didn’t seem worth it now, not when they were so close to something more.
Robbie unzipped Jake’s jeans, pushing them down so Jake could step out of them. Their lips were locked together again, their fingertips digging in hard enough that it should have been painful, were the rest of the world not fading out all around them.
Jake really shouldn’t have been doing this. It was the wrong place, the wrong time, and the wrong person. But they were too far gone for him to reject Robbie. He would’ve been an even greater fool to do that.
Robbie pushed Jake back onto the bed before climbing on top of him. His cock pressed against Jake, his hands on either side of Jake’s neck, pushing into the mattress. “How often do you bottom?”
Jake laughed. “You think I bottom?”
“Great, you’re one of those guys. We don’t have to do this, you know. I’m happy to leave if you’re having second thoughts.”
“No,” Jake said quickly. Robbie had more willpower than he did even in moments like this, and it would do him well not to forget that. “I’ve bottomed before. Not often, but it’s not off the table in any given encounter.”
Robbie smiled. “Hot and cold, Jake. I don’t think I’m ever going to understand you.”
“Well, you can stop waxing poetic and get inside me. That might help.”
Robbie got Jake to turn over on the bed onto his hands and knees.
With the limited space they had to work with, it was the best they could do, but neither man complained.
He put one hand on Jake’s hip, anchoring himself, the other hand disappearing behind Jake.
One last glance back, and Jake closed his eyes, preparing himself for what was the come.
The pressure was slow, the tinge of pain fleeting.
It was easy to relax with Robbie—easier than with any stranger.
Concern crept into the pit of Jake’s stomach, crawling up through his chest. He tried to brush it away; it didn’t belong in the room now.
He was fine—great, even—but it wouldn’t leave. He was stuck with the feeling.
Robbie pushed in deeper, the quiet groan that escaped his lips making Jake bite his. “Oh, fuck, Jake. You’re tighter than I expected.”
“I told you,” Jake said, “I don’t bottom very often.”
“Tell me if it’s too much.”
“It won’t be.”
“Okay, but tell me if it is.”
Jake inhaled sharply as Robbie inserted himself fully. “It… won’t be.”
Jake hadn’t been fucked like this in years.
He didn’t like bottoming with strangers, and there was probably something more that he could read into that if he ever bothered to stop and think about it, but he always told himself it was just part of his sexual preferences, and as long as everyone else consented, that was all there was to it.
That had worked pretty well until Robbie.
Now, with Robbie behind him, thrusting in with a reservation that made it clear he didn’t want to be too rough on Jake, Jake had plenty of time to think, and feel, and take it all in.
He liked it more than the last time he’d topped, though he could partially blame the other man he was with.
Jake grimaced, and Robbie paused. “Is everything all right?” he panted.
“Yeah, yeah,” Jake said quickly. “I’m good. Keep going.”
He couldn’t tell Robbie the truth: he couldn’t tell him he was feeling guilty about the way he’d treated other men in his past, and now he was feeling guilty for using Robbie. But what if Robbie was using him just as much?
Behind him, Robbie grunted softly, picking up his pace again. It burned a bit, then it faded, leaving Jake feeling full and tight and with more pleasure than he’d felt in a while—since the last time he and Robbie were together.
His heart hammered in his chest. He clenched the sheets tighter, hoping Robbie didn’t notice how much he’d just tensed up. The rule. He was already regretting breaking it, and it wasn’t even fully broken.
Or maybe it was. If trying to have sex multiple times counted, then it had been broken long ago, to the point where it hardly mattered anymore.
At least Robbie seemed to be having a good time. Poor, lonely Robbie, whose family had enough money to fill the ocean and not a single person for him to enjoy it with, seemed genuinely attracted to Jake.
Jake fought back a moan. They had to be quiet in his room, and while Robbie had done an exemplary job of keeping his mouth relatively shut, Jake was struggling.
He was usually better at keeping his activities on the down low when it was necessary, but tonight, it was proving to be a painfully tough task.
“Slow down,” he muttered, hoping Robbie could hear him clearly.
Robbie didn’t wait to be told a second time, but he wasn’t so deferential as to not question the instruction at all. “Why?”
“I’m not ready to come,” Jake said, taking a deep breath past his heart that beat in his throat. He wasn’t great at coming up with lies at the best of times, and much worse in vulnerable moments like this. “I need more time.”
Robbie seemed to consider this for a moment, his fingers still on Jake’s bare skin, sweat and other fluids making it sticky. “Do you want me to leave, Jake?” he finally asked. “Because I can stop now and go. It’s not a big deal.”
“No,” Jake snapped, immediately clamping his hand over his mouth.
“No,” he repeated in a harsh whisper. “We have to finish what we started. Just take it slow. I don’t want to…
” he trailed off. There was no way to phrase his worries without making Robbie sound like some sort of master over his willpower—even if it was true.
“Fine.” Jake could hear Robbie’s smirk in that one sharp word. “I’ll make you come.”
Jake closed his eyes and dropped his head down between his shoulders. He was going to regret baring his soul to Robbie, he just knew it.
Robbie began to thrust again, slow at first as Jake had asked, then a little faster, until it was almost too much, and then he pulled back.
This couldn’t be a healthy relationship. That was the one thread of reality Jake had to hang onto. They were terrible for each other. They brought out the worst in each other. They—
He gritted his teeth as waves of pleasure pulsed through him. He had to keep quiet. Whatever it took, he had to do it. He bit down on his tongue, then the inside of his cheek, and finally gave up as a single strangled whimper escaped.
Robbie pulled out a moment later, throwing the used condom in the small garbage bin by the bed before he collapsed back into bed.
His hair stuck to his forehead, darkened with sweat.
Jake was taking up most of the bed, so he scooted over, allowing Robbie to stretch out just a bit.
It was hardly enough, but that wouldn’t matter soon.
“Robbie?”
“Yeah?” Robbie’s voice was a little huskier than usual.
“I think you should go.”
“Mm.”
Before Jake could push him out, Robbie had curled up next to him, chin resting on Jake’s shoulder, arm around his waist. It was nicer than Jake expected—comforting, almost—and he fell asleep faster than he had before in his life, the quilt that was covering them half-falling off the bed on Robbie’s side.