6.
F ISH
The closer I got to Cape Coral, the harder it was to keep my speed regulated because all I could think about was how nice it would be to finally sleep in my own bed again. Even more exciting was the thought of getting out on the water and enjoying the peace the ocean brought me.
When I was young, I didn’t realize how much the water calmed me because I’d never been away from it for more than a day or two. After my arrest, when I was locked in a cell and surrounded by unfamiliar voices, smells, and chaos, was the first time I realized that the water was part of me in a way I hadn’t ever considered before. I suffered from depression so debilitating it was almost impossible for me to get out of bed in the morning. The thought of spending years behind bars was almost abysmal enough for me to consider finding a way to end it all.
By the time I was convicted and sent to federal prison in Kansas, I had dropped almost forty pounds and was a shell of my former self. Luckily, my cellmate realized what was wrong and did his best to talk me out of my depression. When that didn’t work, he spoke to one of the counselors the prison had available for us. After a few sessions with her, she prescribed a couple of medications that not only helped regulate my mood but treated a couple of vitamin deficiencies I had developed after my abrupt change in environment. She wrote an order that forced the guards to give me more time outside, which helped almost as much as the prescriptions.
After going from bright sunny days to cold and dreary ones spent indoors with very little natural light, I had fallen into a severe depression, and one of the most effective cures for that was sunlight. By the time I was transferred to another prison in the heart of the country as far away from the ocean as possible, I had learned a few ways to keep my spirits up and managed to fight off the despondency that hovered over me like a dark, menacing cloud.
When I was released from prison, I moved to Tenillo and happily spent as much time in the sun as possible, either working outside, riding my motorcycle, or fishing every time I got the chance. Luckily, Chewie, another prospect for the club, also enjoyed nature and spending time outside. Our shared love of the outdoors and commitment to prospecting cemented our friendship. Unfortunately, he settled on the other side of the country when we decided to leave Tenillo, but we still talked often and saw each other occasionally when Ajax had an extensive assignment and needed help.
Chewie was used to cloudy days, so being in prison didn’t mentally affect him nearly as much as it had me, but living in Tenillo was a hard adjustment for him. He hated the heat and couldn’t stand the constant sunshine. He soaked up the rare rainy days as if they were a divine gift. When we decided to go nomad and move away from Tenillo, he was just as eager to get to the moisture and leaden skies of the Pacific Northwest as I was to get back to basking in the sunshine and heat of Florida.
I couldn’t imagine Chewie living happily in Florida, and I wondered if Cat would adjust, considering where she’d come from. The crowded streets of Chicago and DC and their seasonal changes in weather were vastly different from what she was going to experience living in Cape Coral.
I wasn’t sure, but I thought Chicago probably had a population of over two million, whereas Cape Coral had a little more than two hundred thousand. Chicago experienced all four seasons, including the biting winter cold. People in Cape Coral started complaining about the brisk weather when the temperature dropped below sixty degrees.
Life in Florida was more relaxed than it was in Chicago, and to someone who had lived in the city all of their life, it would probably seem boring. Until hurricane season. Unfortunately, that was never boring.
The sun had just appeared on the horizon when I turned down the street that would take us to Bubbe’s where I knew Cat’s grandmother was staying. A few months ago, when Cat, who we knew as Abigail at that time, told him that her grandmother was in danger, Ajax made arrangements to have her whisked away in the night just like he’d done for Cat. At the time, I called and asked Bubbe if she’d mind having a houseguest for the foreseeable future, and she and Aunt Dodie were all for it.
My grandmother and her sister were social butterflies who had too many friends to count, and I knew that they could get along with almost anyone. So, when Ajax mentioned that he was looking for a place to keep Cat’s grandmother safe, I immediately thought of them. When I called to check in a few days later, I wasn’t surprised to find that the women in my family had made fast friends with Cat’s grandmother.
Apparently, they got along very well , considering the woman had already purchased the house next door, unless she’d only purchased it to help Bubbe out. My grandmother had been trying to purchase that house for ages, but the HOA had right of last refusal and blocked her at every turn, probably because they knew she was trying to stage a coup.
However, while we were visiting Farrah in Rojo, Cat had shared pictures of the interior and they talked about which rooms would be best for her daughters and how to decorate them after they got settled. To me, that meant her Grammy was planning to stay, which worried me more than a little. The thought that Cat’s grandmother had become such good friends with Bubbe and Dodie so quickly was a little disconcerting. Those women were each two steps from certifiable, and it took someone with a special brand of crazy to willingly choose the house between them. The last three owners could testify to that.
I didn’t realize how tense I had become until I turned down the street and caught sight of Bubbe’s home. I didn’t live in her house but behind it, in the slip where I kept my boat. I had a room inside, and I was in and out all the time to eat, shower, and take care of my laundry, but because of that pesky HOA, Bubbe’s house wasn’t my official address.
I received my mail at a PO box in town, which I rarely checked, and whenever the busybodies from the HOA came sniffing around, I made myself scarce, which had worked so far. I couldn’t imagine the chaos that would erupt if they ever caught wind of my actual residence or the all-out war that Bubbe, Dodie, and their cronies would wage if anything came of it.
I pulled into the driveway of Cat’s new residence with her Grammy and shut off the truck while I tried to figure out if there was any way I could get Cat and the kids inside without waking them. It was barely dawn, and there was just enough light in the sky to see up and down the street, but after traveling with the kids for the last few days, I knew they didn’t usually wake up until a little after eight.
Apparently, Cat’s grandmother was a morning person because a woman I didn’t recognize walked out onto the porch with a mug of coffee in hand. Within just a minute, I saw Dodie walking toward me from her house and Bubbe making her way across the grass with her own coffee mug in hand.
I got out and shut the door quietly before I walked into the grass and pulled Bubbe into my arms for a tight hug.
“Have you even been to bed yet?” I asked as I smiled down at her.
“I’ll have you know I was in bed early last night because I knew today would be busy,” Bubbe said as she reached up and pinched my cheek. “You’re pale, bubbeleh, and you’re much too thin. Have you been eating?”
“Yes, Bubbe.”
“I’ll make your favorites for breakfast, but I know you’ll want to visit Dolly before you do anything else.”
“You’re right, but I need to get them inside first.”
“Are they safe?”
“As safe as I can make them. Hopefully, her ex is too busy adjusting to his new home to do anything stupid in retaliation for her testimony, but we should all be on alert in case he sends someone.”
“Of course,” Bubbe said with a frown. “Her grandmother was worried about her safety, but I assured her that my boys would take good care of her and the babies.”
“Ajax and his new girlfriend send their regards, and he promised he’d bring her to meet you soon.”
Bubbe huffed before she said, “We’ll see how long she lasts.”
Bubbe flirted shamelessly with most of my friends, but she had quite a crush on Ajax in particular. She was also particularly fond of Lurk, but didn’t flirt with him nearly as much as she did Ajax. Lurk ate up every word, just like Ajax, and they teased me mercilessly about the things she said to them.
I had a feeling Bubbe knew that and amped up her flirting on purpose just to give me shit, albeit indirectly. That was definitely something she’d do.
“I need to get some sleep, Bubbe.”
“You can eat when you wake up.”
“Let me get them . . .”
“She’s going to need some time alone with her grandmother, bubbeleh. There will be tears, and I’m sure she won’t want the world to see them. Dodie and I will watch the children while Marjorie gets Catherine settled.”
“Are you sure? I can watch the kids.”
Bubbe frowned before she reminded me, “I’ve been taking care of children since long before you came along, bubbeleh.”
“I know, but Charlotte is really clingy when she first wakes up, so she’ll need lots of hugs. Mackenzie is cheerful from sunup to sundown, so that’s not an issue, but they both like to eat right after they wake up.”
Bubbe wasn’t frowning anymore, and the smile she gave me was enough to give me chills. I’d seen that smile plenty of times - usually right before she did something outrageous. Instead of shocking me by saying something outlandish, she asked, “What are their favorite things to eat, bubbelah?”
“Mackenzie will eat almost as many scrambled eggs as she gets in her hair, and Charlotte likes cubes of cheese to go along with hers”
“I think I can handle that, don’t you?”
“You don’t mind?”
“Go take Dolly out before you combust.”
“You’re the best!” I said cheerfully before I kissed my grandmother on the forehead. I turned and waved at Dodie and Cat’s grandmother before I took off, jogging between the houses so I could get to the water.
I heard them laughing behind me and didn’t care at all. I had been away for weeks and had lots of time to make up for.
◆◆◆
CAT
I looked around my bedroom and was comforted by all of the things I’d left in my Chicago apartment when I went into the witness protection program. I was sure I’d never see any of them again and had been heartbroken at the thought of losing all the pictures and mementos of the girls and my mother. I was ecstatic when I found out that, with Ajax’s help, Grammy had my entire apartment packed up and driven to Florida to make sure that my things would be safe from Joseph.
Once she realized how much she enjoyed it here, she hired the same people to pack up her home and transport her things down. Now, after only a few weeks of ownership, her house was perfectly settled and unpacked and felt like home. That had more to do with her presence than any of the furnishings, though, but I was glad to have them too.
When I tried to protest the expense of the move and all of the new things she’d purchased for us, Grammy got tears in her eyes and explained that was how she held onto hope that everything would be okay soon and that we’d be able to join her here. I had rarely seen my Grammy cry, and before long, I was crying, too, pouring my heart out to her and releasing all the fear and stress I’d felt for the last few months.
After that cleansing cry, I fell asleep in her arms, finally safe with the only family I had left. I didn’t even consider my father, Grammy’s son, family to me. At this point, she didn’t either. She had never been fond of her daughter-in-law, and although she would never admit it out loud, I knew that even though she had tried for years to maintain contact with my brother and sisters, she was not close to any of them. She was ashamed of her son and could barely stomach speaking to him after the way he had let his wife and children treat me and only spoke to him when they saw each other socially.
Now that we were living in Florida, that scenario wouldn’t happen again. As far as I was concerned, that part of my family was dead to me.
I had already thanked my father for sending me help, which I was sure he had done without his wife’s knowledge. Knowing that old bat, she was probably praying that Joseph would get his hands on me and end the embarrassment that my existence had created in her life.
A mistress’s child appearing out of nowhere would probably break up most marriages, but not if it was cemented in old money and political gain, which was exactly what held their marriage together and comprised the walls that kept me out.
I quietly opened the door that connected my bedroom to the nursery where the girls were sleeping and smiled when I remembered Grammy telling me that they’d have their own bedrooms when they got a little older. Surely I’d be a little calmer by then and more rational after recovering from being away from them for so long.
It wasn’t likely to happen anytime soon, though, and Grammy knew that. So, she set up their nursery in what would later be my sitting room - a calm place Grammy insisted I would need once the girls got a little older and started making me crazy.
I ran my hand over Mackenzie’s downy soft hair before I walked over to Charlotte’s crib and did the same thing.
It felt so good to have them with me again, and the fact that we were finally settled and not riding in a car all night while they slept felt almost as good. Fish had gone above and beyond when he planned our trip back to Florida, taking much more time than he would have if it had just been the two of us traveling. He drove through the night while the three of us slept, and then he slept all day while I entertained the girls in a separate hotel room or at a nearby park he had deemed safe. Once he had slept enough to get on the road again, he would join me and the girls for dinner and help with their nighttime routine before we buckled them into the car to sleep through the night while he drove us until they woke up the next morning.
We repeated that four times before I woke up in Grammy’s driveway this morning and was surprised to find Chai nowhere to be found. When I asked about him, his grandmother, a quirky and hilarious woman who insisted I call her Bubbe, told me he was with Dolly and probably wouldn’t be back for a day or two.
It surprised me how jealous I felt when I heard the other woman’s name, and I had to remind myself, yet again, that I was nothing more than a job to the man and he didn’t owe me any explanation about where he was going or with whom.
After one more check of the girls, I closed the door that connected their room to mine and then went out onto the balcony that wrapped around the top floor of the house. It was deep with groupings of chairs and tables scattered around to be able to appreciate the different views.
The one I was most interested in looked out over the canal that led up to the back of Grammy’s house and the island of trees and brush beyond. I had spent my childhood near the water in California, but everything was completely different here. The first time I walked out onto the balcony, I was surprised to find that there were waterways leading up to the back of most houses in this neighborhood - one that was almost exclusively made up of retired seniors.
I’d seen a few older kids while I was unpacking the truck, but no parents pushing strollers or being led around the neighborhood by eager toddlers. When I asked Grammy if there were any younger children, Fish’s aunt, Dodie, answered instead.
“There are a few people with small children here and there, but you won’t find little ones roaming about without supervision until they’re old enough to understand the wildlife and the best means of escape.”
I was so stunned at her answer that I couldn’t even ask what she meant about wildlife, and hours later, after my emotional reunion with Grammy and the nap that followed, I came up with what I considered some very important questions. I would have to ask them later, though, because Grammy and her friends were getting into their souped-up golf carts to go to Thursday night potluck and bunco at the neighborhood community center.
I was happy to see that Grammy had friends around and even more impressed that she already had a full social calendar - complete with a printed flyer listing out the options for each day hanging on the refrigerator. I wondered if I’d be able to find a social group nearby - maybe a Mommy and Me exercise class like I’d joined back in Chicago or even just a park where I could meet other parents.
I had just gotten comfortable at the table outside of my bedroom when I saw a boat coasting along the water behind the house. It was just light enough to see the profile of the man piloting the boat, and I knew in an instant that it was Fish. He pulled up to the dock behind Bubbe’s house, and I watched as he quickly tied off before he disappeared down into the cabin.
A few minutes later, he reappeared, and when he glanced up at the houses, he caught sight of me and waved before he called out, “Are the girls already in bed?” After I told him they were, he asked, “Want to come down and have a beer?”
That sounded like a fine idea, and when I looked down at the video monitor that showed my girls sleeping peacefully, I decided to accept his invitation. Grammy had explained that she’d chosen that particular monitor because it had a very long range so I could visit the houses nearby without losing reception. I decided to test that out and walked around the house to the stairs leading down to the grass.
When I was halfway across the short lawn, I looked down at the monitor to make sure I still had a signal and then checked again when I stepped onto the pier where Fish had docked his boat. I could still hear the white noise maker and see their chests rise and fall with each breath.
When I got closer to the boat, Fish walked over and unlatched something and the side of the deck swung open into a small door. I’d never been on a boat, so what little I knew about them came from movies and television. I was pleasantly surprised at the door that allowed me to step onto the boat rather than have to step onto a slippery edge before I jumped down.
Cementing the fact that I knew nothing about watercraft, I looked around in shock to find a small kitchen, a couple of couches, and a glass-enclosed area where the driver . . . the pilot? No! Boats had captains. Captain Hook, Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain . . . whatever.
“I can hear the gears in your brain humming right now,” Chai said with a grin.
“This is bougie!”
“I wouldn’t go that far, but she is pretty terrific.” Chai took my hand and asked, “Would you like a tour?”
“Yes!” I looked down at the monitor to check my reception and was happy to see it was still connected.
“The girls are sleeping?”
I showed Fish the monitor and said, “Grammy bought a state-of-the-art monitoring system so I can roam all over the place and not worry.”
Fish took the iPad from my hand and touched the screen before he used his other hand to pull his phone out. He touched that screen and glanced back and forth between the two a few times before he said, “Just in case something happens to this thing, I connected the feed to my phone.”
“Really?”
“I’m a handy guy to have around.”
“You are,” I said as I took the iPad from his hand. “Now, show me your fancy boat.”
Fish pointed out the different amenities in the open space and then walked under the canopy where I saw a console full of monitors and buttons. I was surprised to find a dining nook that could be used for sleeping.
“You could nap here!”
“Well, you can,” Fish said as he pushed a button on the wall. The table slowly started sinking until it was even with the seats, and then Fish pulled a strap and the couch against the wall turned into a bed. “It’s comfortable enough and I’ve slept here before, but I prefer my bedroom.”
“I’m sure,” I said shyly, embarrassed by my outburst. Of course the man didn’t sleep on a boat. He probably had a bedroom at Bubbe’s or his own place somewhere in town. Although, I thought that the slight rocking of the boat in the water would make sleeping here wonderful. I was perplexed when I realized how little I actually knew about Fish. I’d been with the man day in and day out for a little more than a month, and I had no idea if he owned his own home or rented an apartment.
The realization made me feel horrible, especially considering how much he knew about my life, or at least my old life. God knows he’d certainly heard me worry about what the future held for me and the kids.
Fish readjusted the seat and then hit the button to lift the table before he turned and motioned toward a panel between the two seats and equipment panels.
I watched him pop open a latch and then lift the panel before he said, “It’s still a little musty down there since I was gone so long, so I’m letting it air out before I turn on the air conditioner.”
“You have air conditioning on your boat?” I asked as Fish stepped down into the hole that had been covered. When he turned to look at me, I saw him grin before he nodded and held his hand out for me. When he helped me into the lower part of the boat, it was so dim that I could barely see, but he touched a button and lights came on. “Oh, wow! This is amazing!”
I looked around the space that had another sitting area and a small kitchen and then saw a small door and what appeared to be a bathroom. I turned and found a door leading to a small bedroom where I could see the corner of an unmade bed.
I heard a door slide open and was shocked when I turned back around and saw Fish walking into an actual bedroom.
“You could live here!”
Fish burst out laughing before he said, “I do live here.”
“Really?” Fish’s brow furrowed and he nodded. I could see that he thought I was about to insult him, but the clouds in his eyes disappeared when I said, “How freakin’ cool is that?”
“I like it.”
“It’s a floating two-bedroom house with a kitchen and a bathroom and everything! Holy shit. Goals.”
Fish chuckled before he said, “The boat I had before wasn’t this spacious, and it didn’t have nearly the amenities that Dolly has but . . .”
“Dolly?”
Fish lifted his hands as if to present the boat to me and said, “This is Dolly.”
“I thought Dolly was a woman!”
“I’m sure I’ve mentioned her before.”
“No! When your grandmother said you’d be with Dolly for a while, I thought she meant you had gone to see your girlfriend or something.”
Fish’s eyes narrowed, and he asked, “Were you jealous, Cat?”
“No.”
“You were!”
“I was curious.”
“You were jealous.”
“I was offended on Dolly’s behalf because in all of our time together, you never once mentioned a girlfriend,” I lied.
“Bullshit. You were jealous.”
Without thinking, I asked, “What if I was?”
“I’d like it.”
“You would?”
“Absolutely.” Fish took a step closer to me, not that he had been that far away in the first place, considering we were in such close quarters. He settled one hand on my hip as he lifted the other one and brushed my hair behind my ear. Finally, he said, “If you were jealous, then that tells me you are interested, and that’s exactly what I want to hear.”
“Interested?”
“You are.”
I decided to go for it and said, “I am.”
“What exactly are you interested in, Abbie-Cat?”
“You.”
“Do you want a fling with the biker or a relationship with the man?”
“Both?” I blurted in question. “Are you interested in me?”
Fish smiled and said, “Yeah, but I’d kind of like the first to flow into the second.”
“A friends-with-benefits situation?”
“A friends-who-take-it one-step-at-a-time-and-see-where-it-leads situation.”
I didn’t have to consider it for very long before I said, “I like the sound of that.”
“Good.”
It seemed like the world was moving in slow motion as Fish’s head lowered toward mine. I wrapped my hand around his neck to pull him closer because it felt like I might combust if he didn’t kiss me, but the spell was broken by a loud cry. I jerked away from Fish before I lifted the tablet and saw Mackenzie squirming in her crib.
“Shit!” I hissed before I pushed past him. “I’ve gotta go.”