15. Noah
NOAH
ICOULDN’T DO this.
That was what my mind was screaming at me, what I should’ve listened to.
But Nicholas was so close that I could feel his breath on my lips. Could feel his hand softly caressing my face, sending shivers down my body that I couldn’t hide.
He was looking at me with the same desire I’d been trying to shove down, to pretend it didn’t exist, and God…I couldn’t resist.
I leaned into his palm, my body giving him permission, since I couldn’t seem to utter, “I can’t.”
Heat flared in Nicholas’s eyes a second before his mouth crashed down on mine.
That was it. That was all it took. I was lost the moment he kissed me, just like I’d known I would be if I ever acted on my fantasies. Gone was the careful, closed-off new king who could burn you with a look, and in his place was Nicholas, the man with lips softer than his scowl let on.
As he wrapped his arm around my waist, hauling me up against him, my hands fell against his chest, and I was able to feel his heart beating fast even through the layers he wore.
I curled my fingers into his jacket, pulling him closer, a muffled moan escaping my throat as he angled his head for more of me. He ran his tongue along my lower lip, begging for entrance, and I gave it easily, dying to taste him after imagining it since the moment we met.
Oh dear God. This man was going to ruin me with his perfect looks and his perfect body, and his ridiculously perfect mouth. He slipped his tongue past my lips, meeting mine in a delicious slide that made me glad I was holding on to him.
Well, gripping his jacket for dear life so my knees didn’t buckle beneath me as he kissed me, leaving me breathless. Any logical thought I’d had about why we shouldn’t do this left my brain, making me wonder why I’d held back for so long.
Because this felt right.
I slid my hands up Nicholas’s chest to wrap my arms around his neck, holding him tight to me.
He let out a low grumble as my fingers flirted with the hair at the nape of his neck and he walked me back until I met the wall.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you since that morning you gave me my first shave. You standing between my legs, touching me…” He shook his head. “It was too tempting to resist.”
I sucked in a shaky breath, hardly believing this was really happening. But then he gently pressed on my lower lip and leaned in.
“You’re too tempting.” His lips captured mine again in a kiss that was softer but no less urgent than the first. Though this one was slower, more sensual, unhurried, as though he knew I wasn’t going to refuse him. He was going to take his time.
His hands came up to cradle my face, and as he angled his head, I let him back inside. I gripped his hips and pulled him to me, parting my legs so he could fit between them, exactly where I wanted him.
“Noah…” he sighed against my mouth as he tipped my head to the side and kissed his way up my jaw. “Tell me I can have you.”
I turned my head so our faces were mere inches apart. “For as long you want.”
His eyes darkened, then he swept my lips up with his, ending any more conversation. That was for a later date, for a time we didn’t have to steal the moment—like now. This was for us, and we didn’t know how long we had, so we weren’t going to waste it talking about what could and would never be.
For this one moment, we were caught up in the fantasy, and both happy to stay there.
I ran my fingers through his dark hair and pulled him closer, twisting the longer strands for a better grip as he deepened the embrace. His hands moved down to my waist to pull my hips closer. The feel of his erection brushing up against mine caused me to moan.
“Nicholas,” I said, sliding my other hand around his waist to pull him in. The feel of him hot and hard behind his trousers made my own cock ache. “More…”
He brought his hands around to the front of my pants and reached down between us to cradle me in his palm.
I sucked in a gasp and pushed my hips forward into his touch. His talented fingers wrapped around me, sliding up and down my hard-on, and it didn’t matter that there were layers between us; I could feel the warmth of his skin, the pressure so good my head fell back against the wall.
Nicholas moved his mouth to my neck, above the stiff collar I wore, brushing his lips over my sensitive skin while I rocked my hips into his hand.
The proof of his arousal was hard against my thigh, and it was a heady thing, knowing he had such a strong attraction to me, that none of this was one-sided or all in my head.
I hadn’t been dreaming up the looks he’d given me or the moments when his hand had lingered over mine.
I couldn’t explain it, why I couldn’t seem to stop myself when it came to him, the one person I was forbidden from having anything to do with. This had never happened to me before. I didn’t fall for my boss; I was smarter than that.
But no one had ever kissed me the way Nicholas Valemont was kissing me now, his teeth grazing my lips. It was so easy to fall into him, to let go of all the reasons why this was wrong. He made me believe in things I knew weren’t true.
That was the problem, though—this wasn’t true. It wasn’t real. While the attraction was almost overwhelming, the reality was cold and harsh, and giving in was just going to make things worse.
I was just going to think about this moment over and over for the rest of my life.
Already hating myself for doing it, I flattened my palms against his chest and pushed him. He pulled back to look at me, and when the words wouldn’t come, I shook my head.
“Noah—”
“We can’t,” I managed to say, and somehow I was able to slip out from where he’d caged me in against the wall.
The loss of him was immediate, and I hated that my conscience had kicked in when it was the last thing I wanted to hear from. I wanted to be wrapped up in him. I wanted to never stop kissing him, to feel his hands on my bare skin when we could spend hours exploring each other.
In what world would that ever happen?
I kept my back to him, knowing that if I looked at him, I’d be tempted to give in again.
“I’m sorry, Your Majesty—”
“Don’t do that,” he said, coming up behind me, his hands moving to my arms.
I kept my back to him but closed my eyes, breathing in his scent.
“I shouldn’t have done this,” I said, knowing just how hard it was going to be to return to looking at him with indifference. Not when I knew how soft his lips were. How strong his hands felt.
“We.” He gently squeezed my arms. “We did this.”
“Yes,” I said, stepping out of his grip and finally gathering the nerve to turn. “We did. And we shouldn’t have.”
Nicholas’s brow furrowed. “Because of Alejandro?”
“For one.” I swallowed, willing myself to get out the words I knew I needed to say. “Another reason being who we are. No matter what you want or feel, you are the king and I am your servant. That will never change. It will only make this more painful in the long run.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but I held my hand up, something I’d never do under any other circumstance.
“Don’t say anything,” I said. “Don’t make it harder for me to walk out.”
Nicholas ran a hand through his disheveled hair, and never had he looked more handsome: lips swollen from our kisses, cheeks flushed from arousal, eyes dark with emotions.
“If this could be any other way…” I whispered as I took a final snapshot of him in my mind, then turned and walked to the door.
As I reached for the handle to leave, he said, “Noah?”
I stopped but didn’t dare turn. If I did, I’d never be able to leave.
“A prince among men,” he whispered. “That’s what you are.”
I swallowed as I gripped the handle. “But that’s still not enough. Goodnight, Your Majesty.”