48. Chapter Forty-Eight
Imake every effort to avoid Xander. The memory of his body pressed against mine plays tricks on my mind. The lingering sensation of his breath on my skin is hard to shake off. But I’m proud I remained strong, resisting the temptation to surrender and relive the moments we once shared. And still, after all this time I want him. Want him with everything within me. But I can’t go back to the way things used to be between us. I refuse to relive those memories where he manipulated me into thinking I”m the center of his universe, the most beautiful girl he”s ever laid eyes on because it”s all an act. I’m not falling for that shit again.
Upon landing in Australia, I purposely keep my distance from him and the band, silently asserting my need for personal space. But every time he looks at me, I can feel it, like a physical touch.
As we make our way through the airport, it becomes increasingly apparent the enormity of what I’ve gotten myself into and the chaotic frenzy that lies ahead. A sea of fans, comprising both girls and boys, eagerly await the band from behind the barricades.
Their screams are so loud that I almost cover my ears. Some of them hold signs that say, “Marry me, Xander,” while others offer to do sexual activities with the band - “I’ll let you stick it anywhere” or “I’m down for anything.”
I can”t help but wonder if any of these requests actually happen. I watch from afar as the band members happily mingle with fans, taking selfies and signing stuff, even various body parts.
Seeing all this, makes me wonder why Xander would flirt with me on the plane when it’s obvious he could have any girl he desires. The adoration and screams from the fans imply that these men could easily satisfy all their sexual fantasies whenever they please.
Watching Xander mingle with his fans, I realize he’s living his dream, the life he’s always wanted - a life where fans admire and adore him, all while doing what he loves - music. While I’m thrilled about his achievements, it’s a little heartbreaking knowing that I was not there to share his dream and celebrate his victories.
Lost in my thoughts, observing how these four guys effortlessly attract all the love, I’m startled when Reg suddenly appears right beside me.
“This is how it starts,” he says, looking down at his phone.
Curious, I inquire, “How what starts?”
“You’ll find out soon enough. Just remember, your job here is to keep him in line. If you fail, the contract will be considered non-valid,” he says, walking away towards the guys. I can”t help but wonder if there was some kind of threat in his comment.
Asshole. I watch him as he makes his way towards the security guards, who are positioned near the band.
“Don’t worry about that asshole.” A voice sounds behind me.
I glance behind to see a woman in her early thirties making her way towards me. She has short, dyed blonde hair and three facial piercings—eyebrow, nose, and lip.
“Poppy isn’t it?” she says, extending her hand to me. “I’m Kit.”
“Hi,” I shake her hand, curious about how she knows my name.
Kit cracks up laughing when she notices the confused look on my face.
“No, I’m not a stalker. I got an email that you were coming on the tour.”
“Oh, okay,” I reply, still unsure about who she is or what she does since I didn’t see her on the plane at all.
“I imagine it’s quite overwhelming to witness all of this, but it’s practically their daily life while they’re on tour,” she explains, gesturing towards the fans vying for the attention of the four guys. “Things have gotten even crazier in recent years. Some fans are incredibly obsessive. Let’s hope the Aussies aren’t as wild.”
“So you’ve been with the guys for a while, huh?” I inquire.
”Yep, ever since they got signed and started touring,” she says, turning back to look at the band. “I make sure the guys know what”s happening with their daily schedule, and I fix or change it if there are any issues. I take care of all the media stuff and publicity during their tour. Stuff like that, you know.”
“Right. Bet your job keeps you busy. I didn’t see you on the plane.”
“Those of us who work behind the scenes, we don’t really mingle with the band. Company rules. We were all up in the lounge towards the front of the plane,” she explains. She takes out her phone, swiftly types something, and then puts it back into her pocket.
“The band is about to head out to meet the press, so we should follow them. Down there where the vehicles are waiting,” she says, pointing.
I turn my gaze in that direction and notice several camera crews from various news outlets, eagerly awaiting the band’s arrival.
I look back to see Reg nodding, and immediately the six security guards spring into action, leading the band forward. Kit grabs my arm and urges me to follow as the security guards behind us move ahead.
“Just a quick tip, Poppy,” she says. “If you want to avoid being on television and social media, I suggest hanging back with Neil over there,” she points to a large, bald security guard who is still wearing wrap-around sunglasses inside the airport. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Poppy. We’ll probably head down to the bar tonight at the hotel. Come down and meet everyone if you like.” She gives me a quick smile and hurries ahead to catch up with Reg.
Neil and I exchange glances, and I offer him a smile. However, he remains completely unresponsive. His commanding stature and strong build emit an intimidating aura, clearly deterring anyone from crossing his path. He maintains his unwavering gaze on me until I avert my eyes. Meanwhile, the band, Reg, and Kit all move forward towards the press, who are eagerly waiting.
I stay back, away from the cameras and reporters who are moving forward with their microphones to question Xander and the other band members. Following Kit’s advice, I move to Neil, ensuring I stay out of the shot but close enough to hear the reporter’s questions.
“Xander, since this is your first time in Australia, can you let your fans know what you’ll be up to while you”re here?”
“I’ll be singing.”
The reporter chuckles before asking another question. “Well, I guess you must be quite busy with all those sold-out concerts. C”mon, give your fans a little sneak peek at what you”ve got planned while you”re here!”
Xander responds with his trademark grin. “Why spoil the surprise by revealing everything now?”
He”s a pro at giving the media what they want.
”You”ll have to wait and find out,” he says, smirking and giving a cheeky wink.
This version of Xander I’m seeing right now is not the one I know. It’s a show for the media, and if I didn’t know the real Xander, I would mistake this imposter for the genuine one.
He flashes his sexy smile and hops into the waiting black limo, with the door already open.
The rest of the band answers a few more questions, and then they pile into the limo with Xander. Reg gets in and shuts the door. Kit comes over to where Neil and I are standing.
The limo pulls out from the curb.
“Alright, our car is this way,” Kit says, gesturing further down. However, before we can take a step in that direction, the black limo abruptly screeches to a halt. Its front end juts out into the traffic, causing a complete halt in the flow of cars.
With the press standing there, their cameras still rolling, everyone wonders what the hell is going on. Suddenly, horns blare, urging the black limo to get out of the way. Equally puzzled, I observe the scene. Just then, Kit’s phone rings and she quickly answers it. While on the phone, she looks over at me.
“That was Reg,” she says, hanging up the phone and slipping it back into her pocket. “You’re to get your ass in that car now. His words, not mine. Come on,” she grabs my hand and pulls me towards the car.
Luckily, the press is too busy to notice us slipping through the crowd. Chattered whispers start the second Reg gets out of the car, looking around, no doubt searching for me. Judging by the bulging vein on his forehead, he’s pissed. A camera almost hits me in the face as it turns towards us. As soon as he spots Kit pulling me forward, he moves to the side, allowing space for me to get in. I claim the seat next to Ace. Reg climbs back in and closes the door, sitting next to me. Sitting opposite me, Nate and Theo watch me, and Xander looks annoyed. I feel foolish, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. No one gave me the heads-up that I was supposed to travel with the band. The vehicle moves forward.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know—” I don’t get to finish my sentence because Reg cuts me off.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to cause more problems for me than you’re worth.”
“Don’t you fucking speak to her like that,” Xander says, moving forward in his seat. His eyes burn with a fiery rage.
The tension in the vehicle is palpable like there’s a ticking bomb ready to explode.
“She needs to understand I haven”t got time to babysit her ass.”
“Watch your fucking mouth or I”ll kick your ass for disrespecting her,” Xander says, getting more pissed by the second.
I take a quick look at the rest of the group, and they appear completely unfazed as if this is a common occurrence for them.
Reg laughs out loud. “Yeah, come on, big guy, you want to do this in front of her. You didn’t even want her to come in the first place.”
“Yeah, but now that she’s here, she stays with us, so I know she’s safe, asshole.” Xander’s words are fierce and filled with fury, serving as a clear warning not to fuck with him.
Reg glances my way. “Are you gonna deal with him or what? It’s your job to call out his inappropriate behavior.”
This asshole is taking it out on me because Xander called him out for talking to me like that.
I meet Reg’s glare. “Yeah, too bad I don”t get paid to call out your rudeness. Because we’d be here all fucking night.”
Theo laughs out loud and tries to stifle it behind his hand, but it’s too late; we’ve all heard it.
“One word from me and your contract will be gone,” Reg spits out in response to my comment.
“Reg,” Nate says. “Cut her some slack. She just fucking got here. She doesn’t know how things work around here.”
As I observe from an outsider’s standpoint, it appears that Nate and Theo have developed a closer relationship with Xander. It makes me wonder what might have happened over the years for Ace to become more distant. If my memory serves me right, Ace and Xander were inseparable, like brothers, relying on each other for support in every aspect of their lives.
Reg remains silent for now, studying the three men. Their expressions show a readiness for a fierce confrontation. There’s an undeniable sense of unease beyond what just happened with me not joining them in the car. It’s as if there’s an additional layer of tension lingering in the air.
Without uttering a single word, Reg swiftly retrieves his phone from his jacket pocket and unlocks it.
I look up and see Theo smirking at me.
“Spitfire,” he whispers.
I”m completely confused about why he calls me that.
I discreetly sneak a peek at Xander and notice him gazing out the tinted window. Intrigued, I watch him for a moment, finding his side profile just as captivating as his front view. His long lashes catch my attention as I watch him blink. I can”t help but notice the defined edges of his jawline as my eyes wander over his face. Suddenly, it seems like he senses my eyes on him as he turns his head. In a hurry, I redirect my attention, only to catch Theo and Nate watching me. My cheeks flush with embarrassment at the thought of them watching me check out Xander.
The hotel is the fanciest I’ve ever seen. The room is practically the same size as my apartment. After enduring that terrible place for three years, being surrounded by luxury makes me feel like a queen. The queen-size bed is so inviting, it”s practically begging me to crash as soon as I checked in this afternoon. But instead, I resist the urge because I know it would mess up my sleep to adjust to this new time zone.
It”s crazy to think that it”s already tomorrow here like I”ve time-traveled into the future.
After I shower, I throw on some tights and a comfy top, then flop onto the bed. Right when I”m about to call Alex, there”s a knock on my door. Opening it, I’m totally surprised to find Kit standing there.
“I know it”s early, but I need a drink. You wanna come?”
To be honest, all I feel like doing is sitting down, flipping through the channels, and perhaps indulging in the mini bar. Earlier, I noticed some crisps and peanuts that I was quite eager to munch on. However, this is my opportunity to connect with someone outside of the band on this tour. It wouldn’t hurt to go downstairs for a few hours and have a drink.
”Sure, sounds good,” I say, walking over to the bed to get my phone that I threw when I heard a knock at the door.
Kit turns away and waits for me by the elevator.
As I walk up, I see her pushing the elevator button over and over. As soon as I get there, the doors slide open, and we step inside.
“I bet Reg had a total meltdown when you got in the limo,” she says, keeping her eyes on the bright red floor numbers going down.
“You can say that,” I add.
“I know what it”s like when Reg gets angry. He can be quite an asshole.”
“Yeah, I”m starting to see that.”
“Neil’s meeting us at the bar. He might seem scary, but don”t be fooled. Once you get to know him, he”s like a little puppy dog.”
“More like an angry bear scoping out a picnic basket,” I say, laughing.
Kit smiles. “You’ll see what I mean. He really is just a gentle giant.”
As the elevator bell dings and the doors open, we step out onto the second floor. Kit leads me through a set of double glass doors. It”s like being transported into a classic Hollywood film, with its old-school piano bar charm.
At the heart of the room, an exquisite grand piano commands attention. I’m brimming with excitement, eagerly awaiting when the enchanting melodies fill the space, creating an ambiance that is simply magical. The melodic notes produced by the piano never fail to enthrall me; they have always held a special place in my heart. However, a tinge of sorrow lingers within me, as I no longer have the pleasure of feeling the keys beneath my fingertips since I sold my keyboard.
As we approach the bar, Neil sits alone with a half-finished beer, engaged in conversation with the bartender.
Kit slides onto the stool next to him, and I climb onto the one beside her.
“Yeah, I bet,” says the bartender. “Tell me, what’s the weirdest request you’ve ever been asked?”
“Well, there was this woman in her forties who told me she’d give me a blowjob if I would sneak her into Xander’s room.”
“No shit.” The bartender laughs.
“No lie, my friend.”
“Ladies, what can I get you?” The bartender asks.
“Surprise us,” Kit replies.
Neil lets out a laugh while grabbing his beer, and I can’t help but smile at the sight of this burly man laughing so freely.
“Don’t sweat it, dude. She’s always pulling that one,” Neil says, lifting the glass to his mouth.
The bartender studies Kit for a moment, before shifting his attention to me. After a moment, he turns away.
“I bet the shit hit the fan inside that limo,” Neil comments, leaning forward to look at me.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“Don’t let the asshole get to you. It”s just his vibrant personality,” he says.
It”s so weird to see him sitting here, all smiley, after that intense encounter we had earlier today where he couldn”t even crack a smile when we locked eyes.
The bartender comes back with two glasses - one with ice and what looks like whiskey, and he puts it in front of Kit.
“Whiskey,” says Kit.
“Well done, man,” says Neil. “That’s what she always orders.”
In the bartender”s other hand, there”s a cocktail glass with a strawberry and a cute little umbrella.
”I made you a strawberry mango daiquiri,” he says, placing it down in front of me.
I can”t help but smile. The drink looks so good.
”I”ve never tried this,” I say, meeting the bartender’s friendly, blue gaze.
I can feel all their eyes on me as I grab the cocktail, carefully putting the straw in my mouth, and taking a sip. My eyes light up with joy as I gulp down the refreshing sweetness.
“Thank you. It’s delicious.” I place my drink on the bar.
“Whenever you’re ready for a refill, just give me a shout,” he says, grabbing the cloth from his shoulder. He then turns and walks down the bar to dry a few glasses.
The three of us spend the next few hours chatting. Kit is absolutely right—Neil is like a big teddy bear. Once I”m done with my daiquiri, I”ll switch to soda so I”m not even a little tipsy when I call my mom later to talk to Alex.
Meanwhile, Kit and Neil persist in ordering round after round of whisky and beer.
As the night goes on, Neil”s voice trembles as he opens up about the heart-wrenching situation of not being able to see his son since he was five. That was seven years ago. He shares the pain of being excluded from his son’s life, all because of his ex-wife’s choices. As he talks about his pain, I can see the vulnerability in his eyes, evoking a deep sympathy within me for this gentle giant.
Kit too shares some heartbreaking news about her recent break up with her girlfriend of six years.
I can’t help but feel a fondness for the two of them. They are so genuine and down-to-earth. However, when they ask me questions about my role in the band, I struggle to open up and often evade the topic about my history with Xander. Whenever the conversation turns to Alex, I carefully steer clear of bringing up the fact that Xander is his father.
It just feels right to keep that information to myself, as I don’t want to bring unnecessary trouble into Xander’s world. The fewer people who know, the better, especially considering that I’ll be leaving and Xander will continue working with these people.
As the doors of the piano bar swing open and the crowd pours in, we make our way to a booth, eager to soak up the music. Sitting there, surrounded by the cozy vibes, I feel soothed by the melodic piano music. The piano”s captivating sound has always held a special place in my heart, completely captivating me.
My phone interrupts the peaceful serenity - it’s Reg calling.
I quickly swipe the screen and answer, curious about what he wants after the crazy limo incident earlier.
“Hello.”
“Tell me he’s with you?” he spits into the phone.
Glancing up at Neil, I’m unsure who Reg is referring to.
Neil and Kit”s eyes are watching me.
”Wait, are you talking about Neil?” I ask to clarify.
”No, I”m not fucking talking about Neil. I”m talking about Xander.”
I feel like hanging up on this asshole because of his aggressive tone, but I stay on the line because I have no idea what”s happening with Xander.
“No, I haven’t seen Xander,” I tell him.
“Well, that’s just fantastic,” he says. “We hired you to deal with situations like this.” He vents his frustration before cutting off the call.
“God, what was that about?” Kit asks.
I place my phone face down on the table. “Apparently, Xander is missing,” I add, then finish the last of my soda.
Neil reaches into his pocket and grabs his phone.
“I should go look for him. Honestly, I have no clue where to look. Does he usually disappear like this?” I ask, not wanting to know if he’s off getting busy with a groupie.
“Sometimes,” Kit replies.
I turn my attention to Neil, who”s messing around with Google Maps, and I”m curious about what he”s doing. Just as I’m about to ask him if he knows where Xander is, my phone pings.
Ace: Hey Poppy, do you know where Xander is?
I quickly type out my reply, not sure why he assumes I know where he is.
Poppy: No. I’ll let you know if I see him.
I put my phone back in my pocket and watched Neil chug down his beer.
”Come on,” he says, getting up and making his way through the crowd of people chatting and listening to the music.
I sneak a look at Kit.
“Go follow him,” she says.
I quickly go after Neil as he heads to the elevators.
“Do you have any idea where he went?” I inquire, trying to keep up with him.
“Perhaps,” he responds.
The elevator doors smoothly open, and we enter.
As we leave the motel, we weave through the busy sidewalks, skillfully maneuvering through the vibrant lights, traffic, and bustling crowds. The shops blast lively music, filling the air with its rhythmic melodies. I pick up the pace to keep in step with Neil, staying right behind him as we maneuver through the crowd.
After strolling for four blocks, we arrive at a set of traffic lights, briefly stopping until the green light allows us to safely cross.
“Do you seriously think he”d be down here?” I ask, trying to catch my breath. “Xander”s most likely just hanging with some groupie. That’s it. Once he”s done, he”ll make an appearance.”
Neil locks eyes with me, and as we find ourselves in a public setting once again, he seamlessly transitions back into his customary stoic and emotionless demeanor. I can’t help but ponder if this is the persona he presents to the world, his public facade.
When the traffic stops, the lights turn green and it’s time to cross the street. We then divert onto a slender pathway, which leads up to a beautiful park.
People walk arm in arm, and Neil and I step around them onto the lush green grass. Filled with curiosity, I can”t help but wonder where he might be going. People lounge on comfortable blankets, their silhouettes illuminated by the soft glow of the park lights, adding a touch of mystery.
I steal a glance at Neil, noticing how his eyes dart around, taking in the sights as he walks.
We walk past all the pretty flowers and find a more private spot. A couple cozily sits on a bench, wrapped up in each other’s arms. There”s this other couple with their kids playing happily close by. I pause for a moment as the children run past me, their laughter filling the air as they chase after one another. It makes me miss Alex even more. I make a mental note to call him once I return to the hotel.
Hastily catching up to Neil, I nearly collide with his back when he suddenly halts. His finger points to the left, drawing attention to someone lying on the grass, their hands relaxed behind their head. I have doubts about it being Xander, especially because the person on the grass has blonde hair and wears a cap, which is visible in the faint light from the nearby park lamp.
I have the urge to tell Neil that it’s not Xander, but the more I observe him, the more I start to consider the possibility that it might be.
As I was showering in my hotel room earlier, I pondered the notion of reconciling with Xander. Considering that we will be working together for the next eight weeks, now might be the perfect time to put that idea into action. I know it won’t be easy, given our complicated history, but it’s something I feel compelled to do. It”s time to let go of all the old grudges and move on. It’s time to move forward. Being in his presence might just mend my broken heart. The hard part is trying to look at him without feeling the painful ache of missing him. Pushing aside my hurt is the only way to move forward and get on with living my life.
I slowly walk closer, not knowing if it”s really Xander.