Chapter Nineteen
The drive back was quiet, but not the quiet that made my skin crawl.
It was comfortable. Familiar. And thanks to my outburst in the graveyard, my brain was at rest for once.
Liam hummed along to a song on the radio and occasionally glanced at me like he was checking I was still breathing.
As Liam pulled into the driveway, I realised I didn’t want to go to the annexe.
I wanted company. Liam’s company specifically.
But Liam’s words about boundaries rang in my head as we sat in the van, neither of us moving to open the door and walk into the house. It was like we were both content to sit in the car with this new energy humming between us.
Eventually, Liam’s security lights extinguished.
‘Thanks for –’
‘No problem.’
‘Night, Liam,’ I said, my hand landing on the van’s door.
‘Do you want to come in for some food? You haven’t eaten dinner.’ He said it so quickly that I almost didn’t hear each word. ‘And you drank a lot.’ He scratched the back of his head, not looking me in the eye. ‘I could make us cheese on toast, if you fancied it.’
‘That does sound good,’ I admitted.
Liam finally looked me in the eye and nodded, a small smile on his face. ‘Come on then.’
As I headed for the front door, my foot hit the wrong angle on the pavement. Pain shot up my leg. I swore under my breath. Liam was next to me instantly, holding my arm at my elbow.
‘What’s wrong?’ Alarm filled his voice.
‘I just rolled my ankle. It happens a lot. Weak ankles. I’m fine.’ I put some weight on my ankle, and the pain throbbed there, insistent. But I’d done worse.
Liam frowned, his lips straight. ‘It doesn’t look okay.’
‘I’ll be fine. I’ll walk it off. Honestly, I always do this. My ankles are like paper thin.’
‘You need to watch where you walk,’ Liam grunted.
I rolled my eyes. ‘Yes, thank you. I’ll work on that.’
If he thought this was bad, he would have kittens if he saw all the random bruises that appeared out of nowhere.
I could never remember how I’d got them.
But then again, I walked through a room like I could move through solid objects.
I always bumped my arm on doorknobs or my hip into the corners of tables.
Liam’s hands came to my arm, holding me up like I was made of nothing.
His shoulders were tense as he unlocked the front door and I realised since that first night, I’d never walked through the front door.
I’d always walked around the side of the house so Liam could have his privacy.
And now he was basically holding me up, his hands all over me.
If it wasn’t for my ankle, it felt like we’d come back from a date tipsy and a little handsy.
‘Liam, I can go around the side.’
‘Stop being daft.’ Liam held my elbow tighter, pulling me into him as he pushed the door open. ‘I’ve got some ice.’
‘You’re fussing.’
‘If you don’t ice it, it will get worse. Knowing you, you’ll end up falling down the stairs.’
‘Rude,’ I muttered under my breath.
He sat me down at the island and busied himself, getting ice from the freezer.
He flicked his fingers. ‘Give me your ankle.’
‘I can do it.’
Liam levelled me a look. ‘Let me help, will you?’
I rolled my eyes and lifted my legging-clad leg onto the stool in front of me.
Liam rolled up my leggings and I did the mental maths on the last time I shaved my legs.
God, they had to be prickly as fuck. But Liam didn’t seem to care as he placed the tea towel-covered ice pack onto my ankle.
He muttered an apology when I jumped a bit when the cold hit my skin.
After a few seconds, the shock subsided.
‘Better?’ Liam asked, his voice low.
I glanced up. Liam was standing closer than I’d realised. His eyes were tracking mine, left to right; his cedar cologne had a citrus undertone. Lemongrass, maybe. Heat rolled off him, making me want to nuzzle closer.
Nope.
I aggressively hit Backspace on that thought.
I swallowed hard. ‘Yes. Yeah. Thanks.’ I went to take the ice pack from Liam, and our hands touched. ‘I can do that –’
Electricity fizzed as Liam’s hand was under mine. I looked up. Liam was staring at me like I was something new. His eyes were warm. No. They were hot, like melted chocolate.
‘Kat –’ His voice was gravelly. Was it me, or was he leaning closer? Blood rushed to my head as he drew closer still, his hand holding my ankle tighter.
Then, I did something I will be replaying until the end of my days.
I leaned forward, pushing up on my good leg and pressed Liam’s lips with mine.
Liam’s body locked up with shock, which had me reeling and pulling back.
Fuck. I’d misread the situation. Humiliation was about to burn brightly on my face until I felt Liam’s hand draw up my neck and into my hair, holding me there for a moment. His eyes were fixed on my lips.
Then, his lips touched mine again and softened. Tentative and sweet. His hand travelled up into my hair, pushing his palm further into my messy curls. I moaned at the touch.
The noise had Liam pulling back, his eyes wide.
‘Kat –’ he began, caution in his voice. White-hot humiliation flooded my body. This had to be a nightmare. I would wake up in a few moments in a cold sweat. I squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them. Nope. Not imagining this.
I jumped from the stool and could barely hear Liam saying, ‘Careful,’ as I stepped towards the doors.
‘I – I’m sorry. I should go.’ I turned to Liam. ‘This was a mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking. It won’t happen again.’ I gave a hysterical giggle. ‘God, I’m such a fucking idiot.’ I slapped my hand to my forehead, picking up the ice pack with my other hand.
‘Kat – let me explain.’ Liam ran his hand through his hair. ‘I didn’t want you to think –’
I didn’t let him finish his sentence. ‘Thank you for the ice pack. I’ll leave you to it.’
‘Kat –’ His voice was quiet and tender, like he was talking to a wounded animal. Pity. The thought of Liam pitying me made me feel sick.
My back hit the cold of the bifold doors. ‘We don’t have to mention this again. Actually, I’d prefer if we never spoke of it again.’
‘I want to talk about it –’
‘Well, I don’t.’ I smiled. ‘I’d prefer to die of embarrassment, actually.’
‘Kat –’
‘Liam, please. Just leave it.’
Liam’s eyes were wide, a deer caught in headlights. Eventually, he nodded, glancing down like he couldn’t look at me. Like he didn’t want to look at me.
Jesus, the hangxiety tomorrow was going to be catastrophic.
‘Thank you for – for this evening.’
I tried my best not to limp down the path to the annexe because I knew he’d be watching. Once I’d unlocked the door, I collapsed on the other side, taking deep breaths. I peeked around to look out the window to find Liam pacing across the kitchen, his hands running through his hair.
As I got ready for bed, I played and paused the whole interaction with Liam from start to finish.
I’d misread his body language. Obviously, he wasn’t going to kiss me.
He was concerned for my ankle, for my wellbeing.
He’d been standing close to hold the ice pack to my ankle, and then I’d launched myself at him.
I groaned – my social anxiety at an all-time high.
We’d only been working together for a week, and I’d made things a million times more complicated.
We still had two months of work to do. I wanted to throw myself into a wood chipper.
I wanted Thanos to snap his fingers, obliterating me into tiny pieces.
I’d do anything to be rid of this mortification.
Once I was in bed, the first text came through. I read Liam’s name and felt like I’d been struck by lightning. I swiped open my phone with a shaky hand, reading the text through one squinting eye, like my phone might explode at any minute.
Liam: I can hear your brain from here.
Another message came through a few seconds later.
Liam: Can I take you somewhere for lunch tomorrow, and we can talk?
I groaned. I was so mortified I ignored the text. I mean, for all he knew, I was asleep.
Liam: I can see you’ve read the text, Kat.
Fuck, I forgot about my read receipts. I threw my phone on the bed and collapsed next to it. I lay face down on my pillow, hoping I’d accidentally suffocate myself in the night so I could avoid an incredibly awkward conversation with Liam in the morning.