4. Chapter 4 - Layrin
Chapter 4
S itting in the passenger seat, the car was quiet since I refused to look at or speak to Rion. As soon as Rion’s phone went off, they all went silent like it was the Grim Reaper. After he told us what the text said, the blood drained from their faces. It felt like I was missing something major.
Like the calm before the storm, they each threw a flurry of curses out, arguing about what to do with me. Ravi wanted to get new identities and run away, while Roux wanted to gear up for war. I was still trying to figure out what it was that they were so worried about when my eyes met Rion’s piercing gaze.
He was sitting there, hands folded underneath his chin, simply staring at me while his brothers argued on either side of him. I barely understood what they were so upset about, so it made no sense that he’d look at me as if I held all the answers. They had to have planned how to handle Foedus before they brought me here, so why were they freaking out?
I was still pissed about everything, including what he’d said to me, so I cocked an eyebrow, taunting him. What are you going to do now, oh mighty intelligent one? It was hard for me to believe that the chief know-it-all of the bunch didn’t have some tricks up his sleeve.
“I’ll take her to them and see what they have to say. War with Foedus is inadvisable, and we can only run for so long.” He never took his eyes off me despite directing his words to his brothers. Crossing my arms, my jaw clenched, I watched both brothers open their mouths to argue, but he silenced him with his next words. “I won’t leave her side, and if it looks like they’re going to get rid of her, I’ll tell them she’s my externus . That will take away any rights to get rid of her. They’ll only be able to test her.”
This stopped his brothers from arguing. They nodded in unison, their eyes faraway like they were lost in thought. It was great that this all made sense to them, but I still didn't understand what that meant for me.
“W-w-wait!” Putting my hands up, I tried to slow them down, but it was no use. The three of them ushered me out the door and into the car, saying that the faster we got this over with, the better it would be for all of us. I felt like I was missing something.
When I tried to get out of the car, demanding to know what was going on, Rion barked, “I’ll tell you in the car. We can’t delay.”
My body stiffened, my heart pumping at a rock drummer’s speed as I crossed my arms, ready to go toe to toe with this dick for answers.
Before I could say anything, a set of gentle, hesitant arms circled my waist from behind. Ravi’s soft, loving voice cooed in my ear, “Rin, while it pains me deeply to say this, Rion is right. You guys need to go.” My hand grabbed his, ready to rip him away from me, but he just tightened his grip and continued. “Please, Rin. Listen . If you want to keep some semblance of your life, you need to trust us.”
I scoffed, and he backtracked a little. “At least trust us with Foedus. We know this organization, and if they want you, they'll get you. It's only a matter of time. If we do this right, then we can get them to lose interest in you, which means you can have a normal-ish life. We can make that happen, but you need to trust us. Rion is the one that’s handled most of the high-ranking Foedus situations, so we need him to take the lead on this.” I could feel Ravi’s gaze land on his brother. He was staring at us, lips pressed tightly together and his hand fisting the car door like he was about to tear it off its hinges.
“I wish you were going with me, that I could be there for you, but right now, he’s the best one to handle this situation. Even if he’s being a dick to cover up how scared he is.” Rion’s eyes narrowed on Ravi, his lip curling up in disgust before he dove into the driver's seat and slammed the door. Someone wasn't happy with his secrets being spilled.
Ravi took a long deep sniff as he muttered, “I need to bottle this,” before his hands unwound from my waist.
Roux was standing next to the passenger door, holding it open as he gazed at me expectantly. I sighed, unable to argue with Ravi. He was right, and with Rion’s little fit, the explanation kind of made me feel better. If Foedus was going to come after me anyway, I might as well get it over with now and see if these guys could keep their promises to keep me out of harm's way.
Ignoring Roux, I slid into the passenger side, and he shut the door as soon as I buckled myself in. Looking out the window, I could see Ravi’s concerned gaze as he bit his lip. Roux stood stoically, his arms crossed, but he never took his eyes off me. I smiled and waved at them, wanting to ease their tension before we left.
Underneath all of the anger and betrayal, I still had feelings for these men. Even after all of the lies and manipulation, which I hated, I had to acknowledge that they had done it, albeit with misguided intentions, for me. I let my emotions get the best of me this morning, but I still had plenty of questions about both the past and the present. Last night, as well as this morning, confirmed that they would never hurt me, at least physically. Mentally and emotionally were a whole other story.
Which brought me back to the present. I looked through my peripherals to see Rion white knuckling the wheel with his face set in a perpetual frown. I would’ve thought it was cute if I didn't know if it came with an equally annoying smarter-than-you attitude.
We had been at a stalemate since leaving the house, neither of us acknowledging the other. Given the situation, it was pretty petty because I really did need to know what I was walking into. After a few minutes of calming myself down, readying myself to talk to him without any attitude, his no-nonsense tone broke my concentration.
“When we get there, don’t say anything. I want to do all the talking. Also—”
I interrupted him with my teeth clenched so hard I thought they would break. “Rion. You need to adjust the way you’re talking to me. I am not an underling, nor am I a doll you can control at any moment.” I turned to face him. “I get that you’re used to being someone in charge, but so am I. I’ve been living on my own for a while, so hearing you bark orders at me like I have no choice in the matter only makes me want to rebel against what you say, and that won’t help us.”
His eyes widened, his perplexed expression meeting mine when he looked at me, then back at the road, obviously torn between having a face-to-face conversation and driving. “Rin…” He paused, taking a long inhale before continuing. “Usually, in times like this, my brothers default to me since this is my area of expertise. Having you question and combat every step is…”
His eyes narrowed, causing his forehead to wrinkle, so I decided to help him out. “Annoying? Infuriating? Want to kick something?”
The side of his mouth lifted before his eyes slid to mine. “Something like that.”
For the first time in a while, I gave him a genuine smile. I took some sick kind of pleasure in pissing off the ice-cold man in front of me. It was like a badge of honor at this point.
“Good. Mix in a whole ton of betrayal, and you'll finally have a taste of how I feel.”
The grip on the wheel creaked as he hissed, “I was trying to bring us all back together. You belong with us, Layrin Smith.”
Something about him saying my whole name had my heart pumping in the opposite direction than what I was feeling. Just that small indication that he knew me, that he knew all of me and yet still wanted me, was playing tricks in my mind.
I mumbled, “It wasn't the fact that you brought me here that bothers me so much.” His green-blue eyes found mine for a second before he turned back to watch the road. For a second, one pure unadulterated second, he looked happy.
“It was all the lies. The things I found in your bedrooms connected to the past that haunted me,” I waved my hands frantically in front of us, “now my hopeful future seems to be disappearing by the second.” My hands landed on my thighs with a thud, suddenly tired of talking, of explaining myself to a brick wall.
A cool, rough hand slid over mine. The surprise caused me to try to jerk away, but he only held on tighter. “I won't let anyone harm you, Rin.” I gazed up, finding his body turned toward me as he looked at me like I was the beginning, middle, and end of his heart. It was suffocating in a way, this crazed look of a devout worshiper, but I also kind of liked how each of them took my breath away. Maybe I was the one who was missing some marbles?
“And yet you still don’t see your part in all this.” Goddamn, this guy was a tough one to get through to. I almost felt bad for Ravi and Roux. Fighting with him would be a nightmare.
He scoffed, smirking as he faced forward. “No. I see it. I know it firsthand, but it’s a moot point. Our obsession with you is never going to go away. That isn’t something we can change. We’ve been this way for so long that it’s now a part of who we are. This is us, Rin. It's time that you figure out if you can handle us, but even if you can’t, that won’t stop us from being us.”
It was the first time he was saying something so direct without that asshole attitude of his, and it stunned me. I nodded, not knowing what else to say, because he had thrown down the gauntlet and told me to choose. I just didn't know if I could make the right choice.
As we turned off the freeway, my nerves skyrocketed at the impending doom. “Well, I guess I’ll need to answer that later because I would really like to know what’s going to happen to me when we get to this meeting. Are they going to kill me because I know too much? Tell it to me straight.” I tried to grip my hands together, but the sweat building caused them to slip around so I wiped them on my jeans.
He took a short exhale. “It was a short text, and there could be a few different reasons that they called you in today, but I have a hunch it has to do with that Ricci kidnapping.”
“Are they mad at you guys for coming to get me? Because other than that, we did very little talking.” I tried to think back, but that day now seemed like a blur given what had happened last night and this morning.
“No. They were the ones who initiated the challenge. They knew what was happening. While we’re all a bunch of trained killers, we do have rules in place for dealing with issues between the families. One of them is that the organization can’t pick favorites. This usually means that they let what happens happen, but they also notify the opposition within a reasonable timeframe. It keeps things even.”
I had to scoop my mouth off the floor. That was what they called “fair”? Damn. The more I learned about this place, the startling it seemed. “So, you all do this thing a lot?” I was more rattled than I had let on, and I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. “Capturing innocent women, interrogating them for no reason, and threatening their lives? It's just like any old day to you guys.”
He glanced at me for a second before shrugging. Well, I guessed that was my answer.
Taking a deep breath, I looked out the window and shook my head. “Alright, so I need to do the least amount of talking and take your lead. Anything else?”
The car slowed as he made his way to the end of the row of buildings, and my pulse rose, beating so hard and fast I felt a little dizzy. Trying to distract myself, I looked around. The only things in the final building’s vicinity were a train track and iron fence with spikes at the top. It was a very strategic spot, looking rundown and ragged while having the utmost privacy.
Rion was silent for what seemed like forever until we turned down a row of old-looking warehouses. “The only thing you need to remember is that Ambros is one person. Other than that, try not to lie to them.”
My mind scrambled over those words. I knew keeping their secret was a matter of life and death, so how was I going to avoid lying? My hands trembled in my lap as I realized how fucked I was. “How the fuck am I going to do that, Rion?!”
He parked the car, unbuckled, and turned to me fully. “It all depends on how you think about their question and rationalize it. You just need to separate us. Think of us individually instead of together. My uncle has worked hard to have the organization think of us as Ambros, telling them I won’t reveal my full name until the successor ceremony. This works in our favor today.”
Grabbing my hand, he squeezed it, making me look him in the eyes as he told me, “If they talk about a mission or job, think of Roux. If they talk about school or social events, think about Ravi, and if they talk about being next in line or the future of Foedus, think about me. This way, you’re not lying, and their computers won’t detect anything.”
“Wait. Wait. Wait. Computers?! I’ll be monitored by computers to see if I’m lying?!” The thumping in my chest grew louder, my breathing growing unsteady.
“Hey! Look at me.” His hand tugged my chin up, so I was forced to look at him. His hazel eyes flashed a cold blue, helping me focus on their unwavering resolve. “You’re going to be fine. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”
I did as he said, trying to calm my body down. Two hands gently clasped my face, making it so I could only see him. “We are going to go in there to answer their stupid questions, then get out. If things get out of hand for some reason, I will claim you as my externus . This will ensure that they aren’t able to harm you or else they’ll be breaking one of their own damn core rules, and these people are all about the rules.”
I began nodding until my mind caught on one word. “What does being your externus mean, exactly?”
His grip on the sides of my face tightened as his eyes changed from that hazel blue to a jade green. “That you are an outsider, but you’re my outsider.” He lunged forward, catching me off guard when he slammed his lips onto mine. His tongue split the seam of my lips and devoured me in one kiss, whether I wanted him to or not.
My mind finally kicked back on when he swiveled away far too soon. Pushing open his door, he stated over his shoulder, “It means I have chosen you to be my wife and the future mother to the Ambros family heir.”
What?! I kept my mouth shut by the grace of God, trying not to make a scene, but what the fuck did he just say? Wife? Mother?!
I scrambled for the door handle, kicking the door open just as he rounded the car and scooped my arm into his like he was the perfect gentleman. My instinct was to yank my arm away, but he painfully gripped down on mine, leaning in to whisper a warning. “Don’t. We need to play the part for them to believe it.”
“You couldn’t have told me sooner?!” I whispered back as I dug my nails into his arm. Two could play at the bruising grip game.
He chuckled, slamming my door shut before he pushed me up against the car. Not giving me a moment's breath, his hands skimmed my body and I shuddered. His lips moved to the crook of my neck, laying down a soft and sweet kiss. I knew I was still pissed at him, at all of them, but I had to admit that they knew what they were doing when they put their hands on me.
I bit my lip to keep any noise from leaving, and his deep, slow, dangerous voice said along my collarbone. “Is it really playing pretend?”
My mouth went dry, making it almost impossible to say anything back. At least that was what I kept telling myself as I let him kiss along my jaw, his hands palming my ass as he rubbed his long, hard length against me.
For just a second, I wanted to delve back in. I wanted to escape into this all-encompassing world of his worship and devotion. Of his body claiming and taking mine, making me feel things I never had before. It was like that with all of them, I could admit that now. I've always wanted all three of them, but they broke my heart.
Easing into him, I let him think he had me, that I was falling prey to his trap and that he would be the victor. That was when he grew wilder. Hand, lips, and tongue explored as my fingers wove through his dirty blond locks. I waited for my moment, when he was just relaxed enough, then I gripped down on his hair and yanked his head back, making him look me in the eyes. In a deadpan voice, I warned, “You're not the only one who can lie and manipulate.”
When his eyes narrowed and his mouth shifted into that normal frown of his, I let him go and looped my arm into his. Steeling my resolve, I smiled up at him brightly, making a show of playing the perfect woman in love. “Let's get the show on the road.”
In the back of my mind, the familiar perky voice of my dead friend laughed. Girl, you are lying your pants off. You almost fucked him right here, and it was all about your heart and not your head . Another string of laughter echoed before it disappeared.
So what if I was lying? It was worth it to see the sour look on Mr. I’m-always-right’s face as we walked up to the back door to the warehouse.