25. Chapter 25

Emily

The mid-afternoon light filters through Jackson’s bedroom window, painting golden streaks across the sheets. Sofia’s laptop is still open beside me, the last words from Maya looping in my head.

Hiding that I’m a shifter during therapy is getting harder. Case in point? Maya asked if I grew up in a cult. I had stared at her for a few moments; my mouth opening and closing as I tried to think of a response.

Only to realize that she isn’t actually wrong.

Not really. Because, I can’t help but see the similarities between Blood Moon and what I imagine a cult would be like.

It’s unsettling. The charismatic yet cruel leader who rules with an iron claw.

Blind obedience. Rigid gender roles. Fear disguised as loyalty.

No one ever questioning anything. Because it suited the males and the females were too beaten down to try to change anything.

Including my mom. And she’s still there.

I’m so deep in thought that I don’t sense Jackson coming in until the bed dips as he joins me.

“I thought you said you would be naked?” He drawls, and I can’t help the way I flinch. His easy smile fades when he sees me stiffen. “Hey, babe, what’s wrong?”

“Sorry, just in my head after therapy. A lot to think about.” Jackson shuffles to sit beside me and puts his arm around my shoulders. I gaze up at him, and his soft expression instantly warms me.

“You never need to apologize for something like that. You know that, right? We aren’t just about sex. I want all of you. The quiet thoughts, the messy feelings—everything.”

I rest my head on his chest and close my eyes, letting his words sink in and his heartbeat calm the chaos in mine. Jackson is the complete opposite of everything I’ve experienced, and I can’t help the tears that form in my eyes as I realize how safe he makes me feel.

You don’t deserve this. He’ll leave you as soon as he realizes how broken you are.

I cover my face in my hands and my shoulders shake as I’m overcome by the fear of what it will feel like when I inevitably mess up and Jackson leaves me. Or rather, when I have to leave him. Because this is his pack, his home, his friends; not mine after all.

Growing up under fear of my dad, then being with Aidan, and finally being alone and injured, were all so awful. But at least I didn’t have something better to compare them to. Now I’ll look back on my time with Jackson and my friendship with Sofia and know what’s possible.

“It’s just so hard. I want to be better, but I’m so… broken,” I choke out. “I’m not good enough for you.”

“Emily, you are incredible. You’ve already survived more than most people could handle. You’re not broken, you’re working through it. And I feel so privileged to be with you. The idea of you not being good enough for me is honestly insane.”

“But why?” I choke out. “I don’t get what you see in me.”

“Emily,” he says, his voice taking a stern tone that I haven’t heard since we got together.

“You are perfect for me. You’re smart without being a know-it-all, sassy without being a brat, and beautiful without being conceited.

You’re empathic, resilient and kind. I was going through the motions before you, but now I feel like I can be happy, like there’s a future I thought I would never get. ”

My heart cracks open. His words have me melting into a puddle and burning up at the same time. My tears have dried up and instead, need for him bubbles up inside me. But I don’t know how to share that. I’m afraid of doing the wrong thing and disrupting the beautiful picture of me he has painted.

I always want him to see me that way.

But he knows me too well. “Tell me what you need to make you feel good,” he mutters against my neck, causing goosebumps to erupt everywhere. He kisses along the curve of my shoulder, but I can’t find the words to express myself.

“I… I want…”

“You can do it, baby. Tell me what you need. Do you want me to take you out somewhere nice? Want to go for a run to blow off steam? Want me to draw you a bubble bath? Put on a movie and eat ice cream? Call Sofia over for a movie night? Lick your pussy until you scream? It’s up to you, baby, whatever you want. ”

The way he says it—low, reverent, teasing—makes my breath hitch.

I clench my thighs, already slick from the thought alone.

Jackson doesn’t push anything, and I know if I said I wanted a movie, he would be fine with that.

But that’s not what I want in the slightest and I’m sure he knows that too.

I’m sure he can smell my arousal because I am dripping with need for him.

“I want you to make me scream,” I whisper after a moment’s pause.

His pupils dilate. “And how would you like me to do that?” He asks, not letting me off the hook for sharing exactly what I want from him.

I press my mouth to his and kiss him deeply to buy myself some time before I tell him exactly what I want.

I wish I could be unafraid to share with him, but the years of conditioning to never express my own wants has me second-guessing myself.

Jackson stares at me expectantly while running a hand lightly across my stomach. Back and forth as tingles erupt along the path he creates. I feel like I’m standing on a precipice, terrified of falling—but when I look into his eyes, I know he’ll catch me.

“I want… I want you to make me come with your tongue first, then I want to, um, I want to make myself come on your cock.”

“Fuuuck babe,” he groans, already moving between my legs.

He licks along my stomach in the space between the leggings and crop top I’m wearing.

Wet heat builds in my pussy. I gasp when he extends a claw on one finger and slices through the fabric of my leggings like paper.

He rips them off me and his mouth is on me in seconds.

Licking and sucking at me, he elicits sounds I didn’t know I could make.

I cover my mouth to stifle my moans, but Jackson grabs my hands, holding them at my sides. “Those are my moans. I want to hear every noise you make.” His words light me up, knowing he doesn’t think I’m too loud or want me to hide my feelings.

My orgasm builds quickly and shoots through my body without warning. The guttural groans that release from my mouth have my cheeks burning at how loud I was.

“Fuck, I love hearing you fall apart for me nearly as much as I love the taste of your sweet cum.”

Jackson’s words send a shiver through me as the waves of my orgasm ease away. Jackson continues to lick at my sensitive clit, making me squirm. “Give me one more baby, then you can ride my cock,” he growls against my entrance, but I’m so oversensitive and overstimulated.

“I can’t,” I mutter, thrashing my head from side to side and even as I say it, I know it’s not true. I would give him anything he asked for.

“You can. And you will.”

Jackson releases one of my hands to push two of his fingers into my pussy, curling them inside me as he flicks my clit with his tongue relentlessly.

My legs tremble as intense pressure builds inside my core, different from before.

I scream his name as my orgasm hits me like a freight train.

Wet heat gushes from me, coating the sheets and Jackson in my cum.

Oh no, what the hell was that?

“Fuuuck,” Jackson groans, sitting back and hitting me with that crooked grin I love so much. Jackson looks like a damn deviant as he licks his fingers clean, staring into my eyes all the while. “That was so fucking hot!”

I flush. “That was… okay?” I ask. And then he’s lunging for my mouth, devouring me. I groan into his mouth as I taste myself on his tongue and lips. My hands find their way into his hair as I wrap my legs around his waist.

“Okay? That was incredible, baby! You are incredible.” He drops kisses down my neck, paying special attention near my marking spot, and my wolf preens at the thought of being marked by this perfect male.

I want that more than anything. To be his forever.

Jackson pulls back to strip off his clothes before rejoining me on the bed.

His large hands wrap around my waist as he lifts me to straddle him.

I glance down at his hard length before reaching for it and positioning at my entrance.

He’s thick and hard and perfect. Mine. I sink down and cry out at the stretch.

Jackson stares at me, intensity darkening his gaze as he waits for me to start moving.

I’ve never taken charge like this before and as much as I want to, I can’t help the gnawing anxiety.

What if I do it wrong? I chew on my lips while wringing my hands as I try to find the words to tell him I don’t know what to do next.

“Don’t overthink it,” he whispers, reading my apprehension. He places his hands on my hips as he guides my movements gently. “Find what works for you. Take your pleasure. Use me.”

The power he hands over to me has my core tightening around him. I drop my hands to his chest and roll my hips, finding an angle that feels good. Really good. Jackson drops his hand to my clit as my movements get faster.

“Come for me, baby, I can’t hold on much longer,” Jackson grits out and the thought that I am bringing him pleasure warms me from the inside out. A few seconds later and I’m falling over the edge again before collapsing onto him.

Jackson tightens his grip on me, pounding upwards until he grunts out his release seconds later .

We collapse together, tangled in sweat-slicked limbs and a still-warm glow. He kisses my temple, arms wrapped protectively around me like armor.

We snuggle close in this position, and I smile into his chest. Jackson has a way of making me feel in control and empowered, even when he is pushing me to do something new. He creates safety in a way I’ve never experienced.

And all I can think is—please let him be my mate. Because I don’t know how I’ll survive losing this.

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