26. Chapter 26
Emily
The past few days have gone by in a blur of therapy, self-defense, hanging with Sofia, Jackson absolutely rocking my world, and running in both my human and wolf forms. Getting to know Jackson better has been perfect.
Everything I learn about him makes me feel more and more confident that we are meant to be.
The ease at which we can talk, how comfortable I feel around him, and how much he pushes me to come out of my shell. It keeps getting better.
I still freak out at least once every other day; Maya tells me it’s my brain’s fear center being triggered because I have complex PTSD, but I’m working on it. And when I’m with Jackson, everything is safe and so different that my triggers are happening a lot less frequently.
He is somehow both crazy sweet and dominantly sexy simultaneously.
Like, how he always checks in on me, even when he is bringing me pleasure.
Or how he takes the time to tell me how he is feeling all the time.
He seems to have an innate ability to notice when I start overthinking and pulls me out of it before I get too lost. The way he balances giving me the freedom and autonomy I crave with the dominance and control I need.
He keeps me feeling both safe and excited.
And now we’ve reached the night before my birthday.
When we wake up tomorrow, I’ll be twenty-one and Jackson and I will find out if we are fated mates.
The idea both thrills and terrifies me. There’s this constant flutter under my skin, like I’ve swallowed a hundred butterflies. It’s almost unbearable.
I had to drag Sofia out for a long run with me to try to burn off the nervous energy. We have just finished up as we walk back towards the pack house where I’m still staying. Sofia abruptly picks up the pace and lets out a squeal.
“Ryan's back!” she shouts. Seeing as she spent the past twenty minutes complaining about me wanting to run, her sudden burst of energy makes me giggle .
“Come on, I can’t wait for you two to get to know each other properly.
I can’t believe that you haven’t spent any time together yet.
” She grabs my hands and drags me over towards him, and I can’t help but notice my lack of anxiety.
I only met Ryan once, when I first got here, and my limited interaction with him involved him using an alpha command on me, so I should be afraid.
But my sessions with Maya have been a revelation, and I’ve learned so much about how to calm myself down and how to increase my tolerance for what leads to panic.
I’m happy and settled as she pulls me towards the car that Ryan is standing beside.
Trusting that neither Sofia nor Jackson would leave me in a situation where I’m not safe.
I love seeing how eager she is to have her brother home, her face lighting up with pure joy as she rushes to embrace him.
Her eyes sparkle with excitement and a radiant smile spreads across her face, revealing how much she has missed him.
Her happiness is infectious, even if I am a little uncomfortable with her speaking about me joining the pack.
“Ryan, finally! You’ve missed so much! I can’t wait to tell you how awesome Emily is and how much you absolutely have to let her join the pack officially,” she prattles off without taking a break.
“Hey, good to see you too!” he smiles, wrapping his arms around Sofia. He lifts his chin and offers me a small smile. “Hi Emily. Let’s talk about things later, Fia. We have guests.”
Maybe it’s been a long journey. Maybe this is how he always appears, but Ryan looks bone tired. He steps back from the car as a second car parks behind his. Two men climb out. The first is tall and blond, the second a broader man with a shaved head and dark skin.
My heart stops. My breath catches.
No.
All the work with Maya goes out of my head and I’m plunged into complete terror as I stare at one of Aidan’s closest friends and allies.
“Alpha John Anderson, Beta Caleb Cooper, meet my sister Sofia. Sofia, could you organize a couple of rooms in the pack house for a few days?” Ryan says as Sofia greets them politely, unaware of the chaos exploding inside me.
“So lovely to meet you, Sofia, and who is your friend?” John asks, lips curling in a slow, knowing smirk as he glances back to where I stand a few feet away.
The air around me turns cold. My ears are ringing.
My heart is pounding so loudly, they must be able to hear it.
Not that I can. I can't hear much over the blood rushing in my ears .
“Oh, this is my friend Emily,” Sofia responds, as I stand like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Prey, frozen with fear. John’s eyes are gleaming while his Beta’s eyes dart between us.
“I need to go,” I say in barely over a whisper as I take backward steps away from them.
The moment I hit the steps to the pack house, I turn and flee towards my room in the pack house.
As my heart races, the sights around me blur into a chaotic whirlwind.
The sounds of my pounding heart and my frantic breaths drown out all other noise.
The pungent scent of fear fills the air, overwhelming my senses.
Every inch of my body tingles with a horrifying sensation, as if thousands of icy fingers are tracing my skin.
I stumble backward and collapse onto the bed as panic claws up my spine and my throat closes.
My hands are shaking violently, and my thoughts are racing.
What if he tells Aidan where I am? What if he comes here and takes me back?
What if Jackson or Sofia get in the middle of things and someone gets hurt because of me?
I can't let that happen.
My head is spiraling so quickly to all the possibilities that are suddenly so likely now that John Anderson of all people knows where I am.
There's no point wondering what will happen.
I know exactly what he will do. He will tell Aidan where I am.
Aidan will come for me and drag me back to Blood Moon.
He will hurt me. Use me. And I will spend the rest of my life in pain and misery.
I need to run.
It’s the only option. I scramble to the closet and start throwing clothes into a bag, not bothering to fold or sort anything. There’s no time.
But then I stop. Maya’s voice rises above the chaos in my head: Your body is trying to protect you from danger, not betray you.
I clutch the edge of the dresser and force myself to inhale as I try to refocus my mind.
I try to tap into my senses, drawing my attention to what I can see; the hoodie I wore the first day I trained here, and smell; Jackson’s clean earthy scent clinging to my sheets, and finally what I can hear; friendly chatter in the hall outside my room.
My wolf paces. She’s alert, cautious, but not afraid. She still feels the safety of Lunar Eclipse. That calms me more than anything.
I slow my breathing and visualize myself in a safe space, like Maya taught me.
Back in that perfect spot, where Jackson brought me for our first date, lying on the picnic blanket with him.
I visualize the lake and the trees, the mountains behind the pack lands.
I imagine the birdsong and the light breeze that tickled my skin.
With deep, steadying breaths, I slowly begin to calm down.
A knock at my door.
I jolt upright, startled—but I’m not frozen this time. I walk to the door, take one last steadying breath before opening it and coming face to face with John Anderson.
He’s already leering at me and licking his lips like I’m a piece of meat that his wolf wants to tear into. It’s like there are insects crawling all over me; everywhere his gaze lingers for far too long. Bile rises in my throat.
“Well, isn’t this a surprise,” he says, stepping forward into my doorway, his voice smooth but his eyes predatory. “I was so disappointed when I heard you had gone missing before your mating ceremony. Alpha Blackwood has been beside himself .”
I don’t respond other than to stare at him. I feel like I will be sick if I open my mouth. I grip the doorframe so tightly my knuckles ache. My other hand clenches in a fist. The sting of my nails biting into my skin, keeping me just grounded enough.
“And here you are, living it up in another pack. He will be so relieved when I call to tell him I’ve found you,” he says with a smug grin.
“P… please don’t tell him where I am.”
“Hmmm, I’m not sure if I can do that. He is a good friend of mine.
And I know he has such… interesting plans for you once he gets his teeth into you again.
” Anderson chuckles at me before reaching out and tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
I flinch away in disgust at his touch. A gesture that is so loving with Jackson repulses me in this moment.
“Of course, perhaps you could persuade me,” he continues. “I have always admired your beauty, Emily. Maybe if you get on your knees and beg me, I might consider keeping your secret.” He palms himself in front of me. As if he needed to make it clearer what he wants.
“You’re disgusting,” I say, recoiling as I try to muster up the bravery needed to find a way out of this situation.
Jackson always told me the goal isn’t to beat them, it’s about getting to safety.
But I should be safe here. There are warriors not far away.
Nothing I’ve seen since I arrived here would lead me to believe that this behavior would be tolerated.
Anderson’s eyes flash with amusement. “Careful now. Hasn’t Aidan trained you better than to talk back to ranked males?”
“You should leave,” I say, as confidently as I can manage. “We aren’t in Blood Moon here. Whatever you’re suggesting is not acceptable.” I hear footsteps approaching down the hall and hope builds that someone is coming .
“Ah, Caleb, please join us,” Anderson says with a grin, walking fully into my room and making room for his Beta. Forcing me to step back or risk being touched by him. “Perfect timing. Emily and I were just having a little chat.”
That confidence I had briefly found fizzles away now that there are two males here.
“I was telling Emily that I’d be happy to keep her location secret.
If she made it worth my while, that is.” My throat tightens, constricting my voice, rendering me speechless.
I’m suffocating, trapped in a whirlwind of helplessness.
Recoiling slightly, Caleb’s lip curls. “That’s sick,” he says.
My mouth falls open as I gape at him in shock.
“Come on, Caleb, lighten up. Don’t you remember what she was wearing when we saw her in Blood Moon? This slut might be playing hard to get now, but everyone in her pack knows how much of a whore she is.”
Something passes between the two men as Caleb visibly tenses and clenches his fists. A vein throbs in his temple to the point it looks like it could pop.
“You’re a strong Beta,” Anderson says, his tone turning hard. “But if you can’t back me up on this—if I can’t trust you—maybe you’re not cut out for the role.”
Caleb stares at him for a long moment before his shoulders slump. “What are you asking me to do?”
“I’ll go first. And you watch while I fuck her in every hole she has. Tell you what, I’ll even let you have a go afterwards,” John says calmly, eyeing me up and down. “Or at the same time? That’s what sluts like her want, right?”
Caleb snarls and all the blood leaves my face at the cavalier way John talks about raping me, but I don’t get a chance to react or scream before John grabs me and wraps his hand around my mouth, muffling any noises I could make.
I curse myself internally for not screaming when I had the chance, and my vision blurs with tears.
His other hand clamps on my arm in a bruising hold and one sharp tug has me ceasing any fight left in me.
My wolf is growling, but she knows we don’t stand a chance of fighting our way out of this. I’m not strong enough. If I even try to shift, John will just alpha command me to shift back.
“You can’t be fucking serious!” Caleb says quietly, running his hands up his face and down the back of his head.
“Now this is happening one way or the other, Emily. But if you stay quiet and do exactly what I say, then maybe I won’t tell Aidan where you are. Deal?”
I nod slowly. My only chance is to try to draw this out long enough that Jackson or Sofia come looking for me. How long has it been since I ran from Sofia? Minutes?
A growl erupts from the other side of the room as Caleb glares towards us.
John removes his sweaty hand from where it was in front of my mouth before jamming his fingers into my mouth.
“Suck,” he orders, a cruel kind of glee as well as a hint of his Alpha command in his voice.
The command hits me like a slap. He isn’t even fully using his Alpha power, just enough to force my complicity.
My lips close around his fingers while bile rises in my throat.
His scent—stale and bitter—overpowers the comfort of Jackson that still lingers on my skin. I gag, but I can’t stop.
“Perfect,” he murmurs, withdrawing his fingers and smearing them over my lips like a mark.
“Now strip. Get on your knees. I’ll take your pretty little mouth first.” He steps back enough to leer at me while still staying close enough to touch me.
I stare at him, silently praying to the Moon Goddess for something—anything—to make this stop.
I need the numbness to materialize, but it’s not here yet.
Tears stream down my face, and my hands shake as they move to the zipper of my hoodie.
“No!” Cooper roars. “This is not fucking happening.”
I freeze as my gaze snaps to Caleb. His fists are clenched, and the skin on his arms begins to ripple—fur sprouting where his rage spills over. His eyes burn with a different kind of fire. Not lust, not cruelty—pure fury.
John snarls at him. “For fuck’s sake, Caleb!” He shouts and I back further against the wall. Maybe I can sneak around them while they focus their energy on each other.
“I, Caleb Cooper, Beta of the Iron Fang Pack, challenge you, Alpha John Anderson, for the position of pack Alpha.”