Chapter 15
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
Riley
I snuggle into the heat wrapped around me, trying to get back to sleep, not yet wanting to face what I need to do today. I’ve finally made a decision about what needs to happen with the stalking and knowing that I cannot get anyone in this building involved in my crazy fucking life. The arm around my waist squeezes a little tighter, virtually bringing the tears out that stay just on the edge racing down my cheek.
“I can feel how hard your brain is working, and it’s too fucking early for that. Just go back to sleep and everything will be fine,” Flyboy’s sleep roughened voice says, causing goose bumps to erupt and spread across my skin.
“Flyboy, I have a lot to do today, and spending the day in bed isn’t one of them.” I work extremely hard to sound relaxed and happy all while my soul is being torn into shreds.
“There is always time to relax in bed,” he argues as he pulls me tighter to his chest, continuing, “especially, when I’m so warm and comfortable. And while we’re this comfortable, why don’t you tell me what had you in tears in the yard yesterday?”
I couldn’t stop my reaction to his words even if I was prepared for his questions. Clenching my eyes closed, I try to find the right words, the lie that I’ve been telling everyone in order to keep them in the dark and from knowing what’s really going on. Laying in his arms, I don’t want to lie. I don’t want to keep dealing with this on my own. I want to lay it at the feet of someone else. Praying that for the first time since my momma passed, I wouldn’t feel so alone.
“I don’t even know where to start to tell you what’s going on. There’s so much history, so much to tell, and Flyboy, in all honesty, it would mean the ending of any relationship or connection I have with the club,” I run off on a tangent.
“How about you start from the beginning? That’s always the best way to begin with things,” Flyboys suggests.
“If that’s what you want, be ready to not leave this bed for days.” Closing my eyes, I finally get ready to tell him all of it, to lay it all on the line when his phone starts ringing. Chuckling, I can’t help but think, saved by the bell.
I roll away from Flyboy’s hard chest, sliding to the end of the bed. Once my feet hit the floor the need to use the restroom hits me hard and fast. I block out whatever Flyboy is saying as I close the bathroom door. I use the restroom, washing my hands, and start to pull the door open when Flyboy’s words bring me up short.
“Why do I need to bring her to Prez’s office?”
“No, tell me now. What could she possibly have done or know?” he demands, sounding beyond angry.
“That’s fucking insane, there is no fucking way that that’s true! She’s right fucking here with me; we’ll be in his office in five.”
“I’ve got to get my ass in my fucking chair, and get her ready, then we’ll be in there. Five fucking minutes!”
The walls start closing in on me as his words take hold of my consciousness. I knew this was going to happen the first time I showed up to help Flyboy when Edge was hurt. I should’ve never gotten involved or come here. The club comes first, and these men are about to filet me like a freshly caught fish for the slaughter. Motorcycle clubs do not play when it comes to rival clubs and having their people close to their family. I slide down the wall next to the door, unable to do anything but panic. There is no way I’ll make it out of this building without them catching me.
“Riley, baby, we gotta go meet with Prez.” Flyboy urges from the other side of the door.
I open my mouth to answer him, yet nothing comes out. Movement outside of the door pushes just a little of the panic back, and unlocks my muscles, getting me moving. I’ve got to get the hell out of here and on the road. I have no fucking clue what the Prez could want with me, but I know it can’t be for anything good!
“Riley, are you okay? What’s going on?” The frantic tone seems to shake my frozen body into motion.
I turn frantically, searching for a way out of the tiny bathroom. My eyes scan over every surface not seeing a way out. A loud knock on the door sends fear straight to my bones. What the hell am I going to do? I can’t go see Prez with all of the guys there, standing around me with their leather cuts and glares. Knowing that the reason Prez is wanting to see me is because they know who I am and what I’ve brought to their territory. This is going to end one of two ways!
“Riley, open the fucking door!” Flyboy bangs on the door again.
I shake my head in answer like he can see me. “I can’t, Flyboy. Please, don’t make me go out there. You have to just get me out of here.”
I know I’m begging, and sound like a weak woman right now. Hell, maybe I fucking am when all I do is run from the things that scare me. Weak or not, I'm not ready to face a room full of bikers today, or any day in the near future. I’ll do whatever it takes for Flyboy to get me the fuck out of here. Flyboy continues banging on the door, trying everything in his power to get me out of the bathroom while I just stand there like a fucking mute, not saying a word.
“If you don’t open this fucking door, I’m going to have to get one of the guys to come kick it in.” Flyboy bangs again, this time sounding completely pissed off. “Open this motherfucking door.”
With tears running down my face, I roll my shoulders back knowing that he will do just that, and if I want any chance of making this out of here alive, I’ve got to face the music. As slowly as I possibly can, I make my way over to the door, pulling it open just as Torch and Duck come into the room, looking beyond annoyed.
“Prez told you fifteen fucking minutes, what the fuck is taking you so damn long?” Torch sneers, looking between the two of us.
“Fuck, man. Prez told you to bring her to his office, not fucking make her cry.” Duck walks toward me slowly with his hands out like I’m a wild animal.
I guess in the state I’m currently in, he’s not wrong. Licking my lips, I open my mouth trying to speak, and once a-fuckin-gain, nothing comes out. I look between the three men trying to decide if there is any way on this god forsaken earth that I could get by them and out of here. Once again, finding that there is no way, I wrap my arms around my waist, trying to hold myself together. I avoid Flyboy’s eyes, not able to look at the betrayal and disgust that will come from him when he finally finds out the truth about everything.
“I’m sorry, guys, this is all on me. I took too long in the bathroom. I’m ready to go when you are.” I don’t even try to hide how scared and downright miserable I am.
“Riley, this isn’t anything bad. We’re just worried about you and want to talk about what’s been going on,” Duck tries to reassure me.
I just shrug because I know when it all comes out in the open, that that’s not going to be true, and I’m going to have to leave everything and everyone behind and disappear like a thief in the night. I can’t not; no, I will not let them get involved in my past and demons.
“Let’s just get this done so I can get back home and out of your hair,” I confide, just ready to get this over with.
Flyboy hops back on his crutches. A small smile spreads across my lips at the sight of him finally on his feet.
“It’s nice to see you on your feet. It looks good on you,” I get out between hiccups.
All the guys just chuckle before leaving the room. Torch steps out into the hallway with Duck right on his heels. Flyboy stays back, allowing me to follow them so he can come in behind me. Him doing this just makes the ache in my chest that much sharper and the tears now fall unchecked. I’ll never forget the people in this building that have always gone out of their way to make me feel safe.
As we make it down the hallway and through the main room, I keep my head down, making very sure that I don’t make eye contact with anyone along the way. On the other side of the great room, we turn right down another hallway, the noises from the room and all the people getting quieter and quieter. I hear a door open, flooding the hallway with light. I'm met by the sound of several voices, shocked to find that not all of them are male. Slowly, we make our way into the room, Flyboy coming in last, and closing the door behind him.
“Well, hell! It’s good to see you up and on your fucking feet, boy.” I hear Steel chuckle.
“I’ve given you boys months to be the better looking ones in the room. Now, it’s time I show who that title really belongs to,” Flyboy teases and winks before smirking.
“Glad to see your self-esteem and humor are back.” Blue laughs, coming over and pulling Flyboy into a hug. “We’ve missed you around here the last however long it’s been.”
“Thank you, Blue. I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s time I stop acting like a fucking shithead and get back to being me.” Flyboy bends down the best that he can with his crutches to allow her to kiss him on the check.
“It’s about fucking time, brother.” I hear Razor state, bringing my attention to him at the back of the room, typing away on his laptop.
“Fuck you all,” Flyboy jests, as he sits heavily on the couch.
I make sure not to say anything, I’m just keeping my head down and not bringing any attention to myself while everyone catches up. If I’m honest with myself, I’m shocked that they would be this happy go lucky, as if they knew everything was okay.
“Riley, sweetie, why don’t you come take a seat?” Blue asks as she invites me to come over, pulling me into a tight, motherly hug before guiding me to sit beside Flyboy on the couch.
I finally lift my eyes and find Steel sitting behind his desk, Torch sitting on the edge of it, and Duck sitting in a chair to my left. Blue squats down in front of me, wiping the still flowing rivers of tears off my face. Concern is written all over her face as she glances back at Steel before pulling me into another tight hug, opening the floodgates all over again. I sob into her shoulder, letting out the years and years of everything I’ve kept locked away since my mother died. Being hugged by her is like my mother has reached down and wrapped me in my favorite blanket, and she tugs me close to her, holding me snugly.
“Sweet child, what's got you so upset?” she whispers as she holds me. “We’re just trying to figure out what's going on.”
I just shake my head no. “As much as I would love that, you can’t. I just need to leave.”
“You can’t just leave. Our women love you and want you here. We can help you,” Steel says as he tries to reassure me.
“That's just it, Mr. Steel. I can’t let you help me. The trouble that it would bring isn’t fair to you or anyone here. It’ll just be so much easier if I just leave here and start over someplace nowhere close to your town.” I word vomit, knowing that every word spewed from my mouth will just lead to more questions.
“That’s for us to decide,” Steels says, his voice firm and unyielding.
Flyboy growls, “You’re not going any fucking were.”
I start at the malice in his voice when he says that. I drop my face in my hands, propping my elbows on my knees, letting out all the agony and frustration that seems to never end or go away. Why can’t they just understand and let me go?
The snarky voice in the back of my mind pipes in for the first time in weeks, “You know if you just get over yourself and tell them, they may actually decide that you truly are worth it in the end.”
That’s it! That’s how I convince them to let me go. To protect themselves. To not have a traitor in their club. I take in a wheezing breath before rolling my shoulders back to sit up straight and look Steel in the eye, knowing that I’ll never be able to watch Flyboy’s reaction to what I’m about to tell the men in this room.