CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
JAWFAIN
(flutters around cell and lands on Viggo’s shoulder)
VIGGO RASSMUSSEN
Thank you, Jawfain. I needed that.
Vampire Falls. Season six, episode nine – “All Together Now”
“What are they calling it again?”
Roxy pulls the competition paperwork out of her backpack and frowns at it.
“Fallers Forever,” she reads. “You have to sign this waiver then give it to one of the Headset People,” says Roxy.
“A waiver? It’s not UFC, for god’s sake.” I blink at Roxy. “It’s not UFC, is it?”
“No, Eliza, it’s not UFC,” she says.
I sign my life away, then sit back and rest my head on my bestie’s shoulder, a position lots of us have adopted in Conference Hall A.
A flame of hair catches my eye. Vivian, Charlie Chamberlain and Sadie are in the front row – VIP seats arranged by Damon Van Schwartz himself.
I allow myself a little eye roll at the backs of their heads and Vivian turns around.
She probably saw the eye roll with her own third eye.
Sadie looks round then jumps up and runs round the chairs over to us.
“Eliza, look!” She plonks herself next to me and flicks through her phone, then holds up a slightly blurry photo of me from last night. “I took loads of photos. I’m getting this one printed. I’ll send you some.”
“Thanks, Sadie,” I say, scooching closer and smiling as she scrolls through the photos. “Did you enjoy it last night?”
She nods until her head nearly pops off her shoulders.
“I liked yours better than Vivian’s, but don’t tell,” she says.
“Thank you,” I say, crossing my heart. “I won’t.”
I look over at Charlie Chamberlain, surprised that he’s looking right at me, his arm resting on the back of his chair. For some reason, I feel like I’m back on that stage again, the spotlight shining down on me, and I’ve forgotten why I’m there.
I gesture to Sadie.
“She OK with us?” I mouth.
“Of course,” he mouths back, nodding.
He smiles, as if he’s waiting for me to say something else, but I hadn’t planned on a follow up, so I just sort of look back at him and feel very conscious of my face. I don’t think he’s blinked once. Are we doing a staring competition? I probably shouldn’t look away or breathe, just in case.
Felix walks on stage, and we all look up at him. Thank goodness.
“Morning, everyone.”
Roxy frowns at me. Felix has the amazing ability to be the centre of the convention without being the centre of attention. He’s low key, but this morning he just seems kind of . . . low. Something’s missing from his voice.
“The judges really enjoyed last night’s performances, and I know the audience did too. Our competitors were fangtastic.”
Pause for clapping. I watch Vivian to see how she responds to the attention from those around her.
As suspected; with ease. I guess she’s used to it.
I need to look around at every single person to acknowledge the praise and file it away in my catalogue of emotions to refer to at a later date and remember how it feels.
“We’re working through the scores from the judges, plus our notes on the audience response for each competitor.
But now, on to this round of the competition.
Here,” he says, stepping to the side as the spotlight illuminates behind him, “we have three coffins. A member of your team must stay in the coffin for as long as possible.”
I glance at Sadie and Roxy, giving them a little shrug.
“Easy,” I say. “I’ll have my phone.”
“You will not be allowed your phone,” says Felix, even though he can’t possibly hear me from there.
I shrug again.
“Still easy. They can’t stick us in there and not allow breaks for the toilet.”
“There will be no comfort breaks.”
I swallow.
“Snacks?” I say, hopefully.
“Snacking is not permitted in the coffins,” says Felix.
“What is this hell?” I say, shaking my head.
“This is a test of your love for Vampire Falls,” says Felix. “Competitors, you need to decide which member of your tomb, sorry, team, has what it takes to stay locked up in the shadows for the longest.”
Chatter erupts from the audience and this time I’m not enjoying all the looks, which are basically rather-her-than-me.
“So, you’re getting in the coffin, right?” I ask Roxy.
“You’re hilarious,” Roxy says.
“Well, I can’t ask Dorothy, can I? Not with her hip.” Dorothy is a few rows behind us. Snoring. She’s sitting next to Fake McKinley, who waves. “Although . . .”
Roxy looks over her shoulder then pulls me back round.
“You are not scooping up a sleeping Dorothy and sticking her in a coffin,” she says, jabbing me with a finger.
“Fine,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Maybe Fake McKinley’ll do it for you?” says Roxy.
“You think?” I say. Dorothy has slumped over so she’s resting on his arm. “I’m not sure he’d even fit.”
Charlie Chamberlain waves Sadie over. She jumps up and turns to us.
“Will you be at the party tonight?” she asks.
“Yes,” says Roxy. “Are you dressing up?”
Sadie nods, her eyes sparkling.
“We’re coming as Beryl and Livius, you know, the psychic brother and sister from season four?”
It’s gorgeous seeing a new fan fall in love with the show. My heart swells in delight for everything she has to come. The merch, the spoilers, the Thursday nights when a new episode drops on Netflix. It’s all part of a fan’s journey.
“Yeah, we know who you mean,” I say.
“Is this your favourite theme of the weekend, Sadie?” asks Roxy.
Sadie shakes her head.
“My favourite is the karaoke party. I mean, I think it will be.”
“Really?” I say. “Isn’t it Ghosts and Gargoyles?”
“Yeah, but not because of the dress-up, I mean because of the singing. Charlie told me how much fun it is.”
I nod. He came to the convention on a day pass one year.
Mum waited patiently for all of us to have a go on the karaoke before driving us home.
When I say all of us, I mean Charlie and Roxy because I could never sing in front of real people.
Drums, yes. Swordplay, yes. But singing out loud while a bunch of people stare and judge my horrendous voice. No thank you.
“He’s right, Sadie. It is good fun,” says Roxy.
“I can’t wait,” she says, her eyes wide. “Then I’ll be a real fan.”
“You are a real fan, Sadie,” I say.
“Not until I’ve completed my first convention,” she says, her face serious and hopeful.
Roxy and I look at each other, and I’m glad to see she also has a little tear for Sadie’s burgeoning obsession.
“OK, I better get back.” She throws her arms around me and squeezes hard. “Good luck, Eliza. I know I’m on Vivian’s team, but I secretly want you to win really. Don’t tell.”
I nod as she turns and runs off, unable to confirm that I won’t tell because I will definitely cry if I try to speak.