19. Fifteen
Fifteen
Jake
T he ceiling fan clicked overhead, the pushed air doing little to ease the humidity in Fallon’s bedroom. I smoothed a palm over her belly, naked skin sticky with sweat.
Too hot to cuddle, but I couldn’t bring myself not to touch her. I needed to be close tonight. Needed the reassurance after everything we did.
Everything I’d done.
Curving my hand around her waist, I hauled her against my equally naked and sweaty body. “You’re like a furnace. Damn, baby.”
The whirl of the fan spun on, the silence otherwise deafening.
“Are we okay?” Fallon whispered after a long pause, releasing the worry into the surrounding darkness.
The sheets rustled as I shifted to prop onto my side and stare at her. A pale moonbeam shone through the split in the curtains, allowing my eyes to adjust well enough to see her profile.
She couldn’t bring herself to look at me. It was unclear whether that was my fault or her guilt.
“Sure felt okay with your legs on my shoulders.”
Once home, we peeled off our clothes and fucked hard and fast. Couldn’t be helped, tossing her legs over my shoulders while I drove into her with deep thrusts. We didn’t even make it to the bed.
I took her on the carpet in the living room, hands planted on either side of her head, pounding her into the rough wool.
When we got up, she didn’t complain about the rug burn on her back, and I couldn’t care less that the carpet rubbed the skin on my knees raw.
It was hot, heady, and desperate, like the bonfire at Adam’s house—a need to have and claim her as mine after we let someone else into our intimacy.
“We have to talk about it,” she said softly, her finger tracing the knuckles on my hand.
I sighed, rolling onto my back and staring at the ceiling. “I know.”
The air wasn’t tense, but something thrummed in the energy between us. I had plenty to say but was unsure how to get it out and explain how much I enjoyed tonight, let alone why . How I could hate a man one week and then get hard watching him tongue fuck my girl the next.
“Be honest,” she said, lifting my hand and kissing my knuckle. “That’s all I need. If I hurt you or you resent me—”
“What?” I tipped her chin to me. “Baby, no. No, I’d never resent you for something I wanted.”
“What about something I wanted?”
Her voice shook, killing my heart because I pushed this. I encouraged this filthy and salacious fantasy into a reality, knowing her feelings for Beau had never been limited only to friendship.
“It was sexy,” I said quietly. “I don’t resent you for wanting Beau to touch you. I can’t hate him for wanting you, either. You’re irresistible.”
She huffed a laugh, rolling into me and resting her cheek against my chest. Her fingers fanned through the soft hair across it, idly sweeping.
“It’s not like I want you to be his girl, Fal. But it’s been hot to me since that night at the bonfire when I thought of someone else touching you.”
“Someone else?” she asked cautiously. “Like it could have been Adam or—”
“Christ,” I groaned, dropping my leg and shifting again. We needed to talk, but the entire conversation made me itchy and agitated. “No, not someone else.”
“So… Beau?”
“Shit. I don’t know. Any other man? I would rip his hands off and choke him with them.”
That was the truth. Maybe it was stupid posturing and my ego leading the charge, letting Beau taste what was mine so he’d remember how cataclysmic and intoxicating my girl was when he left this town.
Maybe it was having control over his agony. Thrilled by the ability to give or take this thing he wanted at any moment.
“It’s a kink,” I explained instead. Freaked the fuck out after my alarming erections with the thought of Beau Dalton getting my girl off and me watching; I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me.
Turned out, not much. It was totally a thing. Thank god.
Fal and I fucked a lot over the years. Our sex was phenomenal—no complaints—but aside from some occasional spanking and a few times when she put her finger in my ass, we kept things pretty status quo. I wasn’t unhappy, far from it, but I worried she’d think she wasn’t enough somehow.
“I didn’t know I was into it until we were there and doing it. It surprised me, too, but I… fuck, Fal. I love you so much, and I’m so proud that you’re mine. Mine . Even when someone else turns you on, your body might get hot, but your heart beats for me. ”
I scrubbed my hands over my face. “I… I like that you’re my girl, and I’m sharing you and watching you turned on. I get jealous but not angry, if that makes sense. Jealous and aroused, hard as fuck, because no matter what you do or how he touches you, you’re coming home with me.”
Jesus. I sounded like a pig, but I wouldn’t lie to her.
Even with the ball busting—metaphorical or otherwise—it didn’t degrade or discredit my manhood. I didn’t need Beau to taunt me or shame my dick or refuse to let me touch my girl while he had his fill.
I wanted this to be good for everyone, but she would go home with me afterward, and then I’d make her forget everything he did to her.
She rested her ear over my heart, listening to the unsteady beats.
“I liked seeing you with him, but I want to be part of it, too.” My hand brushed through her hair. She lifted her head to look at me, and I quickly added, “Like watching. Not me touching him or anything.”
“I wouldn’t mind that,” she said, eyes studying me. “I’d… like it.”
“I only want to touch you, baby.”
Beau and I overlapped a bit, which was unavoidable when we both worked her body. An accidental brush didn’t bother me if it didn’t bother him, but Fallon was my focus—always.
“You guys get so intense, and your energy…” she said carefully. “It’s quite charged.”
“Of course. You’re a woman who drives us to the brink of insanity.” How could she not see it? “Was it too much? We can tone it down.”
Goosebumps bloomed over her skin. She delighted in the implication, my naughty girl. “Does that mean you want him to do this again?”
“Us. I’d like us to consider doing it again,” I said softly. “I’m not intimidated by him or your feelings for him. I just don’t want to be left out.” I swallowed heavily, hesitating. “Left behind.”
I couldn’t pretend worry didn’t live beneath the excitement. The fear that she’d like him better, want him more, or need me less.
But that worry sparked a primal urge to be better, to ensure she never had a reason to leave me. To prove why I deserved her.
“I’m not your mom,” she said softly, her hand brushing over me. “I’d never leave you behind when you’re everything ahead of me.”
Warmth pooled in my chest, and I held her tighter. “We do this together. When he touches you, I want to be there.”
We lay wordlessly, Fallon digesting that.
“How does this not bother you?” she said. “You’re such an intense and serious man, but with our relationship in particular.”
She sniffled, wiping beneath her eyes, cracking my heart a little more. “If you don’t want me anymore, and this is your way of trying to turn me away gently—”
“Shit,” I hissed, cupping her face and pressing kisses over her cheeks. “No. Shit, baby, no . Try to leave me, I dare you. You’re tattooed on my soul, and I will follow you into the grave and whatever exists beyond.”
Her voice wobbled. “Then why do you want this?”
“It’s hot to me, and maybe it’s because you’re mine, and he’s leaving and not a permanent fixture in our lives. He doesn’t stick around, baby. That’s what makes it work. We’re forever. He’s passing through. Nothing more than an occasional good time when we want it. No risk.”
“It bothers me to think of you with other women,” she admitted. “It’s a double standard. But if this is you wanting to open—”
“No,” I cut her off, tightening my arms around her.
I hated interrupting Fallon, but I had to shut that down immediately. This had nothing to do with wanting other people.
She was my everything, but her infertility made her believe she lacked what I needed. But the rest would fall into place as long as I had her.
“I’ve no interest in other women or opening up our relationship.”
“But Beau…”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t bother me to think about. Mediocre pussy eater that he is. You probably did piss on him that night. You and that minuscule bladder. Gotta go every ten minutes.”
“Jake!” she squealed, shoving away and swatting me with a pillow.
I laughed, catching it and tossing it to the floor. In one quick roll, I had her on her back, wrists pinned above her head.
“Hot and fun, right?” I murmured, shadowing over her squirmy body. “It’s temporary, but we can set some ground rules and give you a good time.”
“I feel guilty,” she whispered. “Being with you both like that.”
She meant having feelings for both me and Beau, but whether he touched her or not, those feelings existed. We may as well get off on it.
“Don’t,” I breathed against her neck, my hips slowly rolling forward. “Seeing you so thoroughly pleased is everything, baby. Every goddamn thing. You remember that. You asked for nothing I didn’t enjoy, too.”
That should have humiliated me. The words should have stung or stuck in my mouth.
Hard again, I reached between us to line myself up with her entrance. Easing forward, I murmured, “Have to have you, baby. Need to feel you.”
“You have me,” she whimpered, nails digging into the muscles of my back as we unhurriedly made love .
This was nothing like when I got her through the door, and every rut of my hips sank me deeper inside her. It felt like sliding home.