Chapter 24
24
Valerie
City lights stream through the gap in the hotel curtains the night before the concert. I toss and turn for the thousandth time, unable to stop my mind from racing. At least Caleb is totally out, his face smooshed into the hotel pillows, snoring softly. I’d hate to disturb him with my insomnia.
A sleepless night isn’t unusual before a performance, but this one feels particularly ominous. Finally, at three a.m., I slip out of bed to pee and brush my teeth again, hoping I can maybe trick myself into going to sleep with the familiar bedtime rhythm. I should have taken a gummy, but I was afraid I’d be groggy onstage. So much for avoiding that. I’ll just throw back espresso like candy when it’s time to go, because there’s no way I’m sleeping on this performance. The adrenaline will keep me running if nothing else does.
I slip into bed, but my shoulders are taut with nerves, and I curl into a little ball, willing myself to rest.
“Val?” Caleb asks sleepily. I glance over at him. His voice is a little husky from sleep, but as he turns to face me, he’s smiling out from underneath his curls in the darkness.
I wince, staring back up at the ceiling. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Nervous for tomorrow?” he mumbles.
I sigh, sinking into the pillows and adjusting to look at him. “It’s today now.”
He turns over to look at the white LED of the in-room alarm clock. “Damn, you’re right.” He flips back onto his side, facing me, and twines his fingers through mine. Maybe it’s because it’s three a.m., and maybe it’s because I have nothing to lose, but I speak the words that have been stuck in the back of my throat ever since we kissed on the beach.
“I’m not nervous for the concert. I’m afraid of what happens after,” I whisper. The last time we performed, it wasn’t the show that went wrong—it was everything after.
He proposed. I said no. Everything was ruined. What if it all falls apart again?
“I know you’re worried about what’s next. I am too,” he says, squeezing my hands gently. “I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
“You don’t have to leave, you know,” I murmur, finding my courage. “We could do it. Make more Glitter Bats music. Be a band again.”
He sighs, scrubbing a hand over his sleep-heavy eyes. “I wish it were that easy.”
“It could be.”
He smiles sadly in the dim light. “This summer, playing music, finding you again…it’s made me so happy, but I have a life back home. Hell, everyone has established a career outside of the band. Say we all agree to do more, and then Epic Theme Song calls. What would you choose?”
You , I want to scream, but I know I can’t promise that. I haven’t earned the right. “I don’t know. I think we could maybe make it work.”
His shoulders tense. “I want to believe that, but you know this industry. Schedules are the one thing you can’t control. If I could see the future, that might be one thing, but I don’t know if I can give up my life back home for a maybe.”
I do my best to smirk. “Do you need a push?”
He rolls his eyes, but his smile has softened a little. “If anyone could push me, it would be you. It’s always been you.”
My voice nearly breaks. “I’m not ready to give you up again.”
“Val, before we get up on that stage, I just want you to know…” he trails off, breath hitching as he draws me closer. “I never stopped loving you, and I don’t think I could if I tried.”
My heart races, and this time it’s with a hopeful beat. I never thought I’d hear those words from him again, and I’m completely overcome. Tears prick the back of my eyes, and I blink them away, determined to hold it together.
“ Caleb .”
And then we’re grabbing, desperate, clinging to each other like a raft in a wild sea in these last precious few moments. He lets go of my fingers and slides a hand up my arm, caressing my neck, pressing his palm to my cheek. I lean into his touch, slipping my arms around his neck and pulling him toward me.
His lips brush mine in the sweetest of kisses that sparks the flame between us. I deepen the kiss, our tongues colliding. When I hook my leg around his hip and press his growing erection into my center, grinding into him, a feral growl escapes the back of his throat.
He draws back, leaning his forehead against mine. “ Fuck , Val.”
I love seeing him like this, completely undone. When we’re out in public, he doesn’t swear all that much. But when it’s just the two of us in bed, he has the filthiest mouth. Hearing him say fuck is my own private kink.
“I just want to be close to you right now,” I say. I’m afraid this will be the last time , is the unspoken phrase sitting on my tongue.
“I want that too,” he says. His fingers trace down to my shoulder, and he plays with the fabric of my tank top. “May I?”
“Please.”
He slips the dainty strap down my shoulder, fingering the lace, and exposes my breasts to the air. But he doesn’t do more than stare. “God, just look at you.” He swallows. “I never get over this view.”
“I wouldn’t want you to get bored of me.”
“It’d be impossible to get bored of this.” He palms my breast, then works my nipple into a point with a gentle touch of those rough, practiced fingertips. The bass-string calluses send a jolt down my spine, and I shudder. “You like that?” he says, a hint of smugness in his tone.
“I love your hands,” I say.
“Those aren’t the only things I can use to make you feel good,” he says, before dipping his head down to my breast. Maybe it’s the late hour, or the urgency of our circumstances, but he doesn’t continue his teasing. Instead, he takes my nipple into his mouth and sucks, grazing the nub with his tongue.
A soft moan escapes my lips as the sensation sends heat between my thighs. I press them together, but it’s not enough.
“Touch me,” I beg.
Without stopping his attention to my breast, he trails his hand down my belly and dips into my shorts. He traces the curve of my ass down between my legs, then palms my center. This stops him short.
“Fuck, Val, you’re already so ready for me.”
I let out a shaky breath. “I thought I asked you to touch me.”
He quirks a brow, even though his pupils are blown wide with desire. “You’re so impatient. I should really tease you, get you all worked up and begging for it.”
“I’m already begging you for it,” I whine.
He swallows thickly, his throat bobbing. “I’ve never been able to say no to you.”
And with that, he slips two deliberate fingers into my folds, using his palm to rub my clit in a slow, rhythmic way that makes me gasp. His long, calloused fingers press that perfect spot deep inside me, already taking me to the brink, until he pauses.
“Is that how you want it?” Caleb Sloane has figured out exactly how to drive me wild.
“Yes,” I hiss. “Don’t stop.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
He works me into a near frenzy, until I’m just on the edge of bliss.
“More,” I say, palming him through his shorts, luxuriating in his heavy length. “I need your cock inside me. Now.”
This time, he’s the one shuddering. “Condom,” he says, shoving down his shorts.
I scramble over to the bedside table, reach into the open box, and yank out the first condom I can grab. My fingers are trembling so much with need that I have to rip it open with my teeth.
“That is so fucking hot,” he says with a sigh.
“You should see what else I can do with my mouth.”
“Later,” he says. “Now, I just want to feel you.”
Slowly, I roll the condom onto his length, and his hips buck under my touch.
“I want to be on top,” I say.
“You want to be in charge? Get over here,” he says, eyes blazing as he pulls me on top of him. I raise my hips above his, positioning his cock at my entrance but not going further.
“Are you going to make me beg this time?” he gasps.
It feels incredible, being here with him, seeing how much he wants me. I feel powerful, but also completely at his mercy. I think I’d let this man do anything to me.
“Not tonight,” I say. Slowly, carefully, I sink onto his cock, angling my hips so he’s pressing against that sweet spot again.
“Valerie, fucking hell, your pussy feels incredible. God, you’re so wet.”
“That’s how much I want you,” I say, lifting my hips up and sinking down again. He hisses, and I ride him like this: slow, languid, pressing my clit into his pelvis with every thrust. When I find the perfect angle, I wrap one arm around his shoulders for leverage, using the other to hold myself steady. I dip down and kiss him again, and our tongues collide, desperate, unable to get enough of each other.
I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of him. Even together like this, every part of him pressing into me, I’m just craving more. I never stopped loving Caleb Sloane. He might have been the brave one to say it, but with every kiss, every caress, I hope he understands the way I feel about him.
If I spent every night like this, with this man I adore worshipping my body and peering into my soul, I’d be the luckiest girl in the world. The fear of losing him is overwhelming, and I push it away and focus on us. This. Right now.
Leaning down for another kiss, I adjust the angle of where our bodies meet. I ride him slow and sweet until I feel that spiral at the base of my spine. My palms go slick with need as I get closer to the edge.
“That’s it, Val. Take what you need.”
I don’t need him to say it twice. I work myself into a frenzy, fucking him faster, grinding my clit against him with a hunger I didn’t know I possessed. It’s not long before I’m digging my nails into his skin, coming apart with a trembling cry until I see nothing but stars.
“Caleb,” I gasp.
He rocks his hips into mine, faster, urging me on until he’s locking us together and shuddering through his own heaving release. Once we’re both sated, we collapse onto the mattress, panting. The sheets are damp with sweat, but neither of us seems to care enough to move. Once the room has stopped spinning, he goes to dispose of the condom, and then I take my turn in the bathroom cleaning myself up.
We fall back into bed together, limbs entwined, like neither of us can bear to let go. I’m worried that if I lose this contact, I won’t find my way back to him again. I nestle closer, finding that perfect spot on his chest to rest my head, and he shifts, resting his palm softly on my hip as his breathing deepens.
“You should always wake me up in the middle of the night,” he murmurs into my hair, just when I think he’s already asleep.
“Noted,” I say, even though there’s a distant piece of my brain warning me that this night is all we have left. As I drift off to sleep in his arms, I think about what our life together might be like if I’d said yes after that last show in Vegas.
I wonder if this could be real.