Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Something was touching Ren.
He jolted awake with a little gasp, pulled directly out of a dream about Faeries, Sirens and treasures and into consciousness. Ren flailed at whatever was near him, his fist making contact almost immediately and getting a resounding ‘oof’ in response.
When Ren finally opened his eyes, Falk had reeled back from him and was rubbing the spot Ren had punched on his chest. Ren stared at him, mouth agape, mind trying to catch up to what was going on.
It took several moments to remember the night before—the two of them getting into bed but Ren making sure to leave the normal amount of space between them.
Falk’s shoulders had fallen slightly at the time, but he hadn’t said anything about it.
“Sorry, did I scare you?” Falk asked sheepishly.
Ren swallowed, trying to slow his pulse now that no one was grabbing him, or touching him, or trying to take advantage of his unconscious state. It was just Falk.
Ren reached up to where he could still feel the phantom touch; a spot in the very center of his forehead. A flush rose in his cheeks when he realized Falk had probably tried to give him a gentle kiss before getting ready for the day.
“Sorry,” Ren murmured. “I didn’t mean to… I—I’m a light sleeper because I get a little freaked out about being asleep.”
Falk stared at him a moment as though Ren actually opening up—admitting to something easily without being prompted a hundred times—was enough to kick the planet out of orbit. “It’s okay,” he said gently, like he was trying to not spook Ren.
Falk moved slowly, leaning in toward Ren to press his lips to his temple. Falk’s lips—so soft against his skin—and with how close Falk was made Ren shiver.
Ren pouted, staring up at him, making it obvious he was expecting a kiss somewhere else. Falk laughed at the expression but gave him what he wanted—the quickest peck on his lips.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he promised.
Ren curled deeper into the blankets as he watched Falk pull on some clothes before heading out of their room. It hit Ren that Falk was breaking the rules by leaving him unattended entirely. Something inside of him twisted at the thought that Falk trusted him enough to do this.
Something clenched even harder when Ren realized he didn’t want Falk to suffer because of him—couldn’t bear the thought of him being punished for Ren breaking the rules. He had given up so much for Ren, and Ren was realizing he desperately wanted to give back.
Ren was still turning the idea over in his head when Falk returned with their breakfast.
They ate quietly like they always did, only murmuring softly together every once in a while when either of them had something to comment on. It was a comfortable type of quiet though; the two of them simply existing together as the world woke up with the rising sun.
“Are you good to get ready?” Falk asked as he took Ren’s plate and set it aside.
Ren pursed his lips, trying to dredge up the courage to actually speak his mind. With a deep inhale, he shook his head. “I… I wanted to… do something first.” Falk just looked at him curiously.
Rather than talking—knowing he would fumble over his words or not explain himself correctly—he shuffled onto his knees and pushed at Falk’s shoulders until he was laying on the bed on his back. He stared up at Ren, but made no move to stop him.
After another deep breath, Ren crawled on top of Falk, straddling his waist with his thighs. Falk’s hands came up for a moment, hanging in the air as he hesitated, lost as to where to go. Ren ignored them as he got comfortable enough to lay down on the Alpha.
Ren pressed his cheek into Falk’s sternum, shutting his eyes with a long, content sigh. He folded his arms against Falk’s chest, fingers digging into his shirt, clinging to him, desperate for him to reciprocate, to not push Ren away. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle rejection from Falk again.
He only had to worry for a moment before Falk winded his arms around Ren’s waist, holding him close. Falk buried his nose in Ren’s hair and took a long breath.
Ren would never admit how long he had wanted to feel Falk, so close, like this. He would never admit how long he had wanted to hear Falk’s heartbeat and confirm he was in fact real, alive. Sometimes, Ren thought he might be a figment of his imagination.
But with his ear pressed to his ribcage, the steady thrumming of his heart could easily be heard. Ren tried to count as he listened, and a small smile curled on his lips when he heard the pace steadily increasing.
“Are you nervous?” Ren murmured a while later. Falk hummed in question. One of his hands came up to play with Ren’s hair, his fingers carding through the strands over and over again. “Your heartbeat is getting faster.”
“I have a very pretty Omega laying on me,” Falk laughed. “Of course I’m a bit nervous.”
Ren twisted his neck so he could peer up at Falk. “Do you want me to get off?”
Falk’s arms tightened around him. “Absolutely not.”
Ren laid there on the edge of anxiety, wanting Falk to lean over and kiss him for quite a while before he realized Falk wasn’t going to initiate intimacy between them.
Ren took a deep breath; he both loved and hated that Falk was being so gentle with him.
He was glad Falk cared enough about him to not make him uncomfortable or push him, but it also still terrified Ren to start anything himself.
“Falk?” Ren murmured.
“Yes, Ren?”
There were several heartbeats before Ren opened his mouth again. “Can you kiss me?”
Falk smiled at him and nodded. “Yes, I can definitely do that.”
Ren wondered if kissing Falk would always feel like this—so new and laced with a delicate balance of terror and anxiety and excitement and desire.
He wondered if kissing Falk would always make the butterflies in his stomach wake up and flutter around inside of his chest. A part of him wished the feeling would never change, while another part hoped he would find an easy comfort in it eventually, just like he had with Falk’s presence.
Ren let out a long breath into the kiss, their lips moving together lazily, unhurried, reveling in the feeling of each other.
This one reminded Ren a bit too much of their first kiss—the one in the forest. The thought of it made guilt grab at Ren’s heart until he had to physically shake the feeling off.
Ren pulled away from Falk and sat up on his hips.
“You like this spot, don’t you?” Falk hummed, hands finding their place on Ren’s waist.
“I want to take your shirt off,” Ren murmured, fingers sliding down to the hem of Falk’s shirt. “You make me watch you train every week. I think I should be allowed to see what all the training does.”
Falk laughed and raised slightly off the mattress so Ren could easily tug the shirt up and over his head.
Ren tried not to physically gasp, but a sharp breath pulled through his teeth.
Falk definitely hadn’t missed it if the teasing smile on his lips was anything to go by.
Ren knew Falk was muscular, generally knew his torso was corded with the hard labor he went through every day.
But seeing it bare, up close, was different from seeing it through clothing or even feeling it when they pressed together.
“Like what you see?”
“Can I touch you?” Ren breathed.
“Of course.” Falk chuckled.
Ren let his hands drift over Falk’s chest and down to his stomach that was so different from his own. Ren was suddenly very aware of how soft he was in comparison—how he could still press on the layer of fat on his stomach that never seemed to go away anymore.
He was pulled from the thoughts when he noticed a long, white line cutting through Falk’s side. Ren frowned as he ran his finger tips over it. “What’s this?”
“Did you really think I got through Warrior training unscathed?” Falk asked. “It wasn’t any big deal, but I did end up with a scar.”
Ren’s eyes flicked up to Falk’s as he asked, “What happened?”
“It was during one of my first real patrols,” Falk said.
“I was up on the cliffs. I was with Oren at the time and the people up there apparently didn’t know what their own prince looked like and a group of Alphas tried to rob us.
It ended in a scuffle and they got arrested for it.
I was in the infirmary for a few days, but I promise I wasn’t too badly hurt.
Oren is just over protective and Dr. Bram is always a worrier. ”
Ren traced over it again, eyebrows pinching together as he glared at the scar. He couldn’t help thinking it looked like the one running along his own stomach. “You promise you weren’t hurt badly?”
Falk nodded once, “I promise. Truly, it was more of a scare than anything else. The scar makes it look far worse than it really was. It only scarred over because they stabbed me with a dull knife that tore a lot more than a sharp one would have.”
Ren wanted to press further, but he tried to take Falk’s words at face value and believe them without asking a dozen questions.
Falk watched him as he turned his information over and over in his head. Ren snapped out of his daze when he felt Falk’s fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt.
Ren reeled back, eyes round, as he grabbed the hem and pulled it down ever further with a shake of his head. “No,” he said quickly. “I… I can’t—I don’t… I don’t want?—”
“That’s okay,” Falk said quickly, pulling his hands back entirely. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to take your shirt off.”
“I’m sorry,” Ren whispered.
“You don’t need to apologize,” Falk assured him. “I wanted to see you as well, but I don’t have to.”
“I don’t look as good as you do without my shirt,” Ren frowned. “I’m all… soft and stuff.”
“I’m sure you’re beautiful without your shirt on,” Falk hummed. Ren flushed at the words and had to avert his gaze before his skin caught on fire completely.
To distract himself from the words, Ren leaned down to kiss Falk again.