19. Chapter 19
Chapter nineteen
Aiden
Five days and not a word from Lauren. I’d had the usual updates from everyone around her. Wyatt confirmed the morning sickness remained, but Lauren had been able to eat small meals. Rowan sent me detailed accounts of everything Lauren consumed and the number of times she ran out of the cafe, presumably to be sick. I didn’t ask for that level of detail, but I had to admit, it helped quantify Wyatt’s vaguer insights. What’s an OK day? What’s a bad one? Rowan’s texts were like a cheat sheet for Wyatt’s. Poppy refused to spy for me because “she’d done enough already and wasn’t a creep.” Cammie didn’t text often, but when she did, she reported more about Lauren’s headspace than her physical wellbeing. Cammie’s the one who told me to give Lauren time before coming into Karma again. I took her advice until I couldn't anymore.
A steady rain beat against my windshield as I sat in my truck a block from the café, trying to decide if I’d make the situation worse by showing my face. It’d been somewhat easy to keep away while I worked my ass off, but the remodel on Harris Street wrapped up yesterday, and the two housing development sites were shut down because of the rain. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I ignored it.
Theo and Cal had been trying to see me since they found out the news. We hadn’t gone this long without getting together since Theo’s incarceration and Cal’s college days. I’d told them I was busy, which wasn’t a lie, but I’d also been avoiding them.
I responded to their texts often enough that they hadn’t searched me out. I’d even stopped by Red Blossoms Bakery yesterday to install more shelving. Unlike Theo and Cal, Poppy had let the elephant in the room stretch out and take a nap while I worked. Then she’d shoved a to-go box of my favorite apple streusel at me and told me to stop being a wuss and talk to Theo before I gave him a panic attack.
I never wanted to trigger one of those, but I still couldn’t bring myself to give more than single word replies to my friends. Why? Because they were already too involved. I relied on their women, and to some extent, them, to maintain a connection with Lauren. I couldn’t vent to Theo and Cal about how much it hurt to be shut out by the mother of my child because they’d tell Rowan and Poppy and then Lauren would know the terrible truth: I wanted her. Not just because she was pregnant, though feeling the slight changes in her body and her hyperresponsiveness had blown my mind, but because I’d never stopped wanting her.
I’d tried. Fuck, I’d tried. I’d avoided her as much as anyone could in a small town until Cal started dating Rowan. At first, I’d been too humiliated to say anything to Lauren. But her obvious disdain for me made it easy to act like the stupid asshole she thought I was. I gave back as good as I got, savoring every time I made her angry because then I knew she felt something for me—even if it was hate. It had to mean something.
So instead of keeping my distance, like Cammie advised, I hopped out of my truck and ran through the torrential rain into Karma. I’d timed my visit between the early morning rush and lunch break coffee grabs, hoping Lauren might have time to talk. Rowan smiled at me from behind the counter when I walked in and wiped my boots on the rubber mat by the door.
“Hey,” she said as I made my way inside. “Are you here for Lauren?”
“I am, but I didn’t tell her I was coming. Do you think now’s a good time?”
“Should be. Things were so quiet, Lauren went to change the litter box.”
“She what?” I must have yelled because Rowan took a startled step back.
“Sorry,” I said, working to push the anger from my voice. “Are you sure?”
“Um, that’s what she told me and then she headed to the closet in the back of the bookstore where she keeps the litter box.”
I knew which door with the cat-sized cutout she meant and stormed through the bookshelves without another word to Rowan. When I got to the closet, it was open, and Lauren was on her knees inside.
“Stop,” I yelled so loud an old guy who I vaguely recognized as a Karma regular spit his coffee down the front of his shirt. He glared and kept his beady eyes focused on me as Lauren grabbed the door frame and pull herself up.
“What’s your problem?” she huffed.
“Go wash your hands.”
“Excuse me?”
“Damn it, woman. For once in your life, just listen to me.”
The old geezer rose from the leather sofa and shuffled toward us. “Is there a problem?”
“Oh, Mr. Fitzwilliam,” Lauren said, staring at his soaked shirt. “Are you OK? Are you burned?”
My brain fired at the name. Mr. Fitzwilliam. Brandi’s father-in-law.
“I’m fine, sweetheart. I put so much milk in my coffee it’s tepid at best. Are you all right? Is this man giving you trouble?”
“Just ignore him. I do.”
“She’s pregnant and changing cat litter,” I blurted out to Mr. Fitzwilliam because if anyone in this town was going to help me right now, it’d be him.
Lauren shot me a death glare that made my balls shrivel, but Mr. Fitzwilliam grabbed her elbow and marched her straight to the small bathroom by the coffee bar. “Make sure you use soap and sing happy birthday twice,” he said, crossing his arms over his wet shirt while he waited for her to follow his directions.
“I don’t understand,” she said, standing in front of the sink but making no effort to wash her hands.
“For fuck’s sake, Lauren, wash your damn hands.”
Mr. Fitzwilliam shook his head. “You need to learn some finesse, young man.”
We stood outside the door while Lauren thoroughly washed her hands and dried them on a paper towel. By the time she’d finished, Rowan had abandoned the counter and the customers she’d been helping to stand with us.
“What’s going on?” she asked, clasping her hands together.
“Pregnant women can’t change cat litter,” Mr. Fitzwilliam said calmly. “There’s a parasite in cat poop that can cause birth defects. Didn’t your doctor tell you?”
Lauren paled. “Maybe. I was so sick at the first visit, I’m not sure I remember everything. It was probably in the packet he gave me.”
“Damn it, Lauren,” I said, fisting my hands at my side. “What else have you been doing? Drinking coffee? Eating sushi?”
“Aiden,” Rowan said, placing a firm hand on my arm. “I didn’t know about the cat litter either.”
“Well, you know now,” I said, raising my voice. Cal was going to try to kick my ass later for sure. “Someone other than Lauren needs to change the litter every day. Got it?”
Rowan nodded.
“Fuck that, I’ll do it myself,” I said, heading back to the closet.
As I passed through the café and bookshop, I realized everyone had stopped whatever they were doing to stare at me. Great. By this afternoon, the entire town would know about Lauren’s pregnancy and, given my outburst, make the understandable assumption I was the father.
I squeezed myself into the narrow closet and started flicking cat turds into a plastic bag with a scoop.
“You didn’t have to yell at me,” Lauren sniffed behind me. “Now everyone knows.”
Part of me felt like a complete asshole for making her cry, but I wasn’t sorry. “You put my kid at risk. What did you think was going to happen?”
“I didn’t know,” she said, quietly.
“Clearly or you wouldn’t be standing there. Toxoplasmosis can be airborne. Back up.”
“How do you know all this?” she shouted from further away.
“Because I’ve been through ten pregnancies before yours,” I said, leaving out what had happened to Brandi and Max. There was nothing more I could do now.
I tied off the bag and carried it straight to the dumpster after yelling for Rowan to open the door, getting good and soaked in the process. Lauren stood outside the tiny bathroom while I washed my hands like I’d been handling an Ebola-infected monkey brain and started to calm down.
“I drove to my sisters’ houses every time one of their husbands had a work trip during their pregnancies to change the litter,” I said calmly. “Let me help you. I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for the baby.”
And for her. But she didn’t want to hear that, especially from me. Because I didn’t want her to know the guilt I’d seen in Brandi’s eyes every time Max struggled.
“I’m sorry,” she said again. I finally looked at her and my heart ached. She hadn’t stopped crying and both Rowan and Mr. Fitzwilliam looked like they wanted to kick me in the junk. I half wished they would. “But you have to get control of your temper,” she said, narrowing her eyes at me. “People make mistakes. Kids make mistakes. Are you going to be the kind of father who screams at his kids? Because if you are—”
“You’ll do what? Have an abortion? Yes, Lauren, I understand I have no fucking control over what you do with your body, but I can’t stand by and watch you do something so stupid.”
She paled, and Rowan rushed to her side. “You need to leave, Aiden,” Rowan said.
The front door flung open and Cal and Theo thundered inside, not even wiping the water from their shoes before gripping my arms and dragging me out into the rainstorm.
“What the fuck?” I asked as they pulled me toward Cal’s car. His dog, Skye, barked at me from the backseat, and I fought against them for the first time since they’d laid hands on me. “I’m not getting in there with the dog.”
“Fine,” Cal said, turning us around and dragging me toward my truck. “I’m driving though. Theo, get his keys for me, then take my car and Skye back to your place. I’ll take Aiden to mine.”
Theo shoved his hand in my jean’s pocket and started rooting around like a cop about to start a pat down. “They’re in my jacket,” I gritted out. He grabbed my keys, then smacked me on the back of the head for good measure before shoving me into the passenger seat of my truck.
“Not a word,” Cal said, starting the ignition and following behind Theo. “Not one word until we’re at my house.”
We rode in tense silence to Sullivan Street. I took my time climbing from the truck while Cal went ahead of me to unlock his front door. At least the dog wouldn’t be here.
“I didn’t mean to scare Rowan,” I said, dripping on his welcome mat.
“Take off your shoes,” Cal said, throwing me a towel. “You’re not going anywhere for a while. I’ll grab you a change of clothes once Theo gets here.”
“Afraid I’ll ditch as soon as you leave the room?”
“Yes,” he said, without a hint of humor in his voice. “And what do you mean you scared Rowan? All she did was text that you were at Karma. Theo and I figured it might be the only chance we got to talk to you since you keep blowing us off.”
“Where are his keys?” Theo asked, coming in the front door without knocking and kicking off his boots.
Cal tossed my keys to Theo, and he shoved them in his pocket. Cal was in great shape, but Theo had scrapped his way through a year of state prison. No way in hell would I be attempting to take those keys from him.
“What do you mean you scared Rowan?” Cal asked again, crossing his arms over his chest.
I pointed to Theo. “Keep him off me.”
He nodded and I took a step back from Cal to give myself a chance to block a swing. “I lost my shit because Lauren was changing the cat litter. I yelled at Rowan. Or rather, I yelled, and she was the one standing in front of me.”
“Why can’t Lauren change cat litter?” Theo asked.
“Toxoplasmosis,” Cal said, frowning.
“Exactly,” I said, throwing up my arms.
“Am I supposed to know what the fuck that is?” Theo asked.
“No,” Cal said, shaking his head. “But Lauren should.”
“Like I said, I lost my shit. I’ll apologize to Rowan.”
“I don’t think she’s the one you need to worry about,” Cal said, sinking onto his couch in his wet clothes.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll apologize to Lauren too.”
Cal narrowed his eyes. “That’s a given, but I meant Theo and me, asshole.”
Theo nodded and took a seat next to Cal on the couch. Cal pointed to the armchair where I usually sat whenever I came over to watch games. I flopped down and waited, my wet jeans chafing me and my shirt sticking to my chest like shrink wrap.
“First, I had to hear you’re going to be a father from my wife,” Cal said, holding up a finger, his middle one. “And then you refused to talk to us for six weeks,” he added, holding up the middle finger on his other hand.
Double salute. This wasn’t good. “You just got married. And you,” I said, pointing to Theo, “just got engaged. You have enough going on without worrying about me.”
“Unbelievable,” Theo said, fidgeting with one of the gauges in his ear. In the past, I’d say he was pulling on it to hurt himself, but he seemed lost in thought rather than anxious. “The jerk hands us our asses any time we’re slightly off base, but he’s not man enough to come to us when he needs help.”
“I don’t need help.”
They both burst out laughing.
“I don’t.”
“Keep telling yourself that, brother,” Theo said.
My chest ached. “What did you call me?”
Theo glanced at Cal, confused. Cal shrugged.
“You called me brother,” I said.
“Yeah,” Theo said, tilting his head to the side. “What’s the problem?”
“You don’t call me that. Ever. That’s what you and Cal call each other. You call me man or A or asshole.”
Theo scrubbed his hand down his face. “Shit. Why didn’t you say something before?”
Cal looked between Theo and me and shook his head. “I’m confused.”
Theo blew out a breath. “I should have realized when you told me I had to be Cal’s best man because he calls me brother.”
“Seriously, can someone please explain what’s going on?” Cal asked.
“He thinks he’s a second-tier friend,” Theo said. “That you and me are closer than he is with either of us.”
“Because you are,” I said, surprised by how hurt I sounded. “You always have been. Just like Logan and I were.”
“Oh shit,” Cal said, as though the thought had never crossed his mind. “It’s not like that.”
“Well, it kind of is,” Theo said with a shrug. “Less so now than when Logan was alive. But, Aiden, the brother title doesn’t mean what you think it does. Cal and I never had siblings to call us brother like you and Logan did. It started as a joke because we were jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“Yeah,” Cal said. “Your older sisters doted on you, still do. And Logan’s sisters looked up to him like he hung the moon. I always wanted a sibling, so did Theo, so we just kind of decided one day to be each other’s.”
“Bullshit,” I said, getting angry. “Theo’s your best friend. Just like Logan was mine.”
“So you’re saying we’re second-tier friends,” Cal said, leaning forward to put his elbows on his knees. “Got it.”
“I’m not sure how this has anything to do with him ghosting us after finding out he’s going to be a father,” Theo said.
Cal put his hand on Theo’s shoulder. “Like I said, we’re second-tier friends.”
“For fuck’s sake,” I said, standing. “I’ve been avoiding you because I’m terrified, OK. I’m scared I’ll never stop remodeling and demoing my house every few months because I’m still pissed Logan died, and I had to stop playing ball, and I hate myself for even thinking about football when my best friend is dead because of me. And yes, I’m scared the two of you will become even more of a family than you already are and realize you only hang out with me because we’re trauma bonded. And I’ll be left alone in my half-demolished house, talking to Logan like a lunatic while Lauren gives up my child for adoption or worse. Oh, and just so everything’s on the table, I’m scared I’ll never find a woman I like more than her, so I’ll die alone since she hates me.”
Cal and Theo stared at me with their mouths hanging open.
“Well,” I said, slapping my hands on my wet jeans. “Say something or give me my damn keys.”
“That’s a lot to process, brother,” Cal said.
“Fuck,” I said, rubbing my forehead. “Now you’re doing it too?”
“Yeah,” Cal said, standing. “I’m calling you brother from now on, asshole, because that’s what you are to me. I figured you’d want to reserve the title for your sisters, but hey, who am I to judge?”
Theo still hadn’t moved, which I guess was better than having a panic attack. Finally, he looked up at me and smiled. “Does this mean we finally get to see the inside of your house?”
I shoved his shoulder and he stood up, pulling me into a hug. “Thank you,” he said, taking a step back. “I know it wasn’t easy sharing all that with us.”
Cal nodded. “Now that we know what we’re working with, we might be able to help you.”
“Good,” I said, gripping each of them on the shoulder. “Cause I’m going to need all the help I can get to convince that woman we can raise our kid together.”