35. Chapter 35
Chapter thirty-five
Lauren
I stood in the middle of the nursery and admired the changes. I probably should have waited until after we found out the sex of the baby tomorrow, but I woke up determined to decorate. On one wall, Theo had painted a gorgeous mural of lush leaves and bamboo dotted with white frangipani flowers and bright orange flamboyant blooms. The neutral green Aiden had chosen for the rest of the room felt soothing, exactly as a nursery should be, but apart from the crib and changing table that Aiden already had when I moved in and my grandfather’s chair, the room was empty.
I thought I’d miss living in my apartment or resent Aiden every time I drove the ten minutes into town before the sun rose to open Karma. I didn’t. Instead, I imagined my child running through each room downstairs, feeling safe and loved. Once I’d settled into my room across the hall, I made regular visits to the nursery, imagining how it could look when finished.
Today I stopped imagining and let Cammie and Wyatt train Karma’s two new hires alone, so I could spend a few hours shopping. I found a plush green-and-white blanket to toss over the recliner. I also found a simple ivory rug, a color I knew I’d regret eventually, but couldn’t resist because of how soft it felt. I wanted the baby to have something cloud-like for tummy time. Moments after I unrolled the rug, Dido had stretched out on it and fallen asleep. She’s much calmer living in the farmhouse, though she still only tolerated me. I’ve been kind of jealous of all the affection Aiden has lavished on my cat. She purrs the moment he walks in the door and follows him everywhere he goes when he’s home. She had it bad for him. I could totally relate.
Since Theo had done such an amazing job with the mural, I didn’t think the room needed anything else on the walls. Instead, I focused on finding curtains for the large window and lamps. Then I checked in at Karma and filled a couple canvas bags with my favorite children’s books. I still needed to find a dresser and a bookcase, but I’d made serious progress in one afternoon.
The front door slammed closed, and Dido startled awake.
“Hey, Lauren,” Aiden called, kicking off his boots.
The cat let out a meow and shot off toward the sound of his voice.
“Hi,” I said, feeling guilty as usual that he’d probably raced home to confirm I was here.
“I’m jumping in the shower,” he yelled, not bothering to stop by and see me first. Hearing me was enough.
After three weeks of living with Aiden, I’d learned a few things. One: He always sang in the shower. Two: his song selection and mood were so aligned I could predict what kind of day he’d had at work before I saw him. Three: I’ve never wanted to shower with someone so badly.
Unfortunately, he hadn’t touched me. Not once. Which meant my vibrator and I had spent a lot of time together, usually while Aiden showered. Yet again, my room shared a wall with his bathroom, so I could hear every note, every splash, and easily imagine him naked under a cascade of water.
Horny didn’t even begin to describe the longing I felt for him. But it wasn’t just sex I craved. For the first time in my life, I wanted to cuddle. I blamed the pregnancy hormones.
Instead of torturing myself listening to him shower, I settled in the recliner. As soon as I stilled, the tiny flutters began. Rowan, Poppy, and Cammie had all tried to feel the baby move by placing their hands on my stomach, but so far, no luck. I couldn’t wait to see how much the baby had grown in the ultrasound and feel it move inside me while I watched it move on the tiny screen.
I grabbed a book off the floor and started reading out loud, rubbing my stomach with my free hand. When I looked up from the last page, Aiden stood in the doorway in a t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips. I sucked in a breath. It was as if the longing I’d felt for him each day had settled in his eyes.
He cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I like what you did in here,” he said, stepping inside the nursery. Dido followed him and started rubbing her face against his legs.
“I kept the receipts in case you didn’t.”
“Nah, it’s perfect,” he said, looking everywhere but at me. “We can go together to find a dresser this weekend.”
“And a bookcase,” I said, motioning to the pile of books on the floor.
“I can build a custom one once we have the rest of the room figured out.”
“That’s so sexy,” I said, which was not at all what I meant to say. “Sweet. That’s so sweet.”
He smirked at me, finally. I’d missed that smirk. The playful banter between us. “I liked the first version better.”
“Never took you for a tease,” I said, trying my hardest to sound casual when all I wanted to do was rip off his clothes.
He lifted his eyebrows and smirked again. “That’s because I’ve never been one.”
“So,” I said, placing the book on the floor and rising from the chair. “You’re saying if I told you I wanted to have sex right now, you’d be down for it?”
He shrugged. “Sure.”
If it wasn’t for his eyes, I’d think he’d just agreed to scratching-an-itch intimacy. But there was so much more than heat in those deep blues: hope, fear, maybe even love.
“But not in here,” he said as I started toward him. “I’ll fuck you in any room of the house except this one.” He backed out into the hallway without taking his eyes off me.
For some reason, that made me laugh. “So you’ll put your penis inside me while the baby is in me, but you want to keep the nursery pure?”
“I didn’t say it made sense.” He turned and ripped off his shirt as he walked to his room. Dido followed behind him with her tail stub held high, flashing me her butthole. I scooped her up, placed her outside Aiden’s bedroom, and shut the door. She let out an indignant yowl in the hallway.
“She’s really going to hate you now,” Aiden said without turning around. The muscles in his back bunched as he tossed his shirt on the floor and slid off his sweatpants, leaving him gloriously naked.
I took a moment to enjoy the tight curves of his ass before removing my own clothes and standing beside him. We were both completely naked, staring at the bed, but neither of us made a move to touch the other.
He reached out and took my hand, his touch almost hesitant. He swallowed hard, his eyes still on the bed, and my heart ached. He wanted me. His thick erection left no question of that, but I’d hurt him. Sleeping with me again was a leap toward something more between us or a heap more heartbreak.
“Can we cuddle first?” I asked. “I’ve—” Wanted you every day. Been letting myself fall for you. “I’ve missed you.”
He squeezed my fingers and guided us both to the bed. He placed his rough hand on my stomach, pulled me close, and nestled his face into the curve of my neck. His wet hair cooled my heated skin, but the scratch of his stubble woke every nerve in my body. As soon as he’d molded his front to my back, the ache in my chest eased, but the ache to feel him inside me intensified. I pressed my legs together for some relief. He lowered his hand from my stomach to my throbbing center.
“The great thing about cuddling,” he said, sliding a finger against my swollen clit, “is we can get started on that orgasm count.” I arched, rubbing against his erection. He let out a small groan, and I placed my hand over his.
“The first time, together,” I said, twisting to face him.
“Good thing you have a hair trigger,” he said with another smirk. “And good thing I just jacked off in the shower thinking of you.”
He kissed me, gently at first, but then we both gave in to the hunger that had always been between us. He took his time, easing into me inch by inch, his lips never leaving mine. We rocked against each other, our bodies moving together in a slow dance of pleasure. I fought my orgasm until I couldn’t. “I’m going to come,” I said, breaking our kiss for the first time.
“Look at me.”
I shattered as he held my face, his eyes locked with mine. He pulsed inside me, finding his own release as we clung to each other. He brushed the hair from my face, then rubbed his thumb across my cheek.
I loved him. I wanted to tell him, but part of me still worried I’d never be enough. My eyes filled with tears as he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I wrapped myself around him and spent the rest of the night telling him with my body all the words I was too afraid to say.