36. Chapter 36
Chapter thirty-six
Aiden
Lauren looked terrified as we drove to the ultrasound appointment. After last night, I thought we were headed in the right direction, but she fidgeted with her braid and avoided eye contact like she wanted to bolt from the truck.
“What if I hurt the baby?” she said when I pulled into a parking spot at her OB/GYN’s office. “I changed the cat litter several times before you told me not to. What if I made the baby sick, and it didn’t grow correctly, and it’s all my fault?”
“Hey,” I said, taking her hand. Her palms were sweaty, which made my blood pressure shoot up. “The doctor tested you for toxoplasma. You’re fine.”
“What if the test didn’t pick it up? Or what if I did something else wrong? I didn’t know I was pregnant right away. We drank in St. John, and I drank wine with Rowan after, before I knew. And I wasn’t on prenatal vitamins. No telling what my folic acid levels were.”
I unbuckled my seat belt and slid across the bench seat to gather her in my arms. She was shaking, and I felt like the world’s biggest dumbass for not just asking her earlier what was wrong. “I’m sure the baby is fine, but if not, we’ll handle it. Worrying won’t change anything.” She let out a stuttering breath and nodded.
“Just promise you won’t hate me if something is wrong. I swear I’ve done everything I thought I should once I found out about the baby. Except read those papers from the doctor. I should have. I just didn’t know about the cat litter and—”
“Princess,” I said, taking her face in my hands. “I promise.”
“OK,” she whispered.
I wanted to tell her I loved her. That a part of me had loved her since that very first night when we curled together on her crappy sofa and talked for hours. But I didn’t know when she’d be ready to hear it, if ever. I placed a gentle kiss on her lips, and she took one more deep breath before opening the truck door.
I hurried around to help her down, and thankfully she let me. We held hands the entire time we waited to be called back. I had to let go while she climbed onto the exam table, but she held her hand out for mine as soon as she was settled.
“Ready to get started?” the ultrasound tech asked. She wasn’t the same one from our last visit, but she hadn’t called us Mom and Dad. I bet Lauren had some interesting notes in her chart.
Lauren nodded and the tech squirted gel on her belly and started moving the wand around. The moment the baby came into view, Lauren squeezed my hand.
“Is the baby OK?” she asked after the tech had taken some measurements, the panic clear in her voice.
“Your doctor will review any findings with you later, but I can tell you the sex.”
I cleared my throat, and the tech glanced at me. “I know you can’t tell us anything but maybe a nod or a blink. She’s really anxious.”
The tech smiled, then nodded and blinked.
Lauren practically melted onto the exam table with relief.
“Would you like to know the sex?”
“I kind of would,” I said, looking down at Lauren. But her eyes were fixed on the screen. She nodded, transfixed by the baby’s tiny movements.
“It’s a boy,” the tech said with another smile. “Congratulations.”
My throat pulled so tight I couldn’t speak.
“Logan.” Lauren took her eyes from the screen to look at me. “We should name him Logan, unless you think his sisters want to use the name.”
I looked back at the screen where my son was alive and well, then back at the woman who I loved despite all reason, and lost it.
“I’ll, um, give you two a couple minutes,” the tech said, placing the wand by the machine and leaving the room in a rush.
I laid my head on Lauren’s chest and cried for the best friend I’d lost. It gutted me that my son would never know Logan, but in that moment, I finally felt at peace with all the twists and turns in my life that had brought me to this exact moment and the incredible gift I’d been given.
Lauren ran her fingers through my hair, but otherwise let me cry myself out. When I finally lifted my head, she smiled at me with shiny eyes. “I figured out your nickname.”
“Woman, if it has anything to do with what you just saw, keep it to yourself.”
“Oh, it has everything to do with what I just saw,” she said with a devilish smile.
Great. Guess I was going to be Crybaby or Kleenex Man for the rest of my life. “Fine, hit me.”
Her eyes softened. “My Love.”
My chest filled with warmth, but also a tinge of fear. “Please tell me you’re not being sarcastic right now.”
“You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. I’ve tried to fight it, but it’s useless. I love you, Aiden O’Malley.”
“Good,” I said, taking her face in my hands. “Because I love you too, Princess.”
I was still kissing her when the doctor came in to resume the ultrasound and confirm the baby looked healthy.
“Do you want to tell everyone it’s a boy?” Lauren asked as we walked to the parking lot.
“Sure, you handle our friends. I’ve got my family and Logan’s. I’ll ask about the name.”
We both typed out messages before I started the truck. The entire drive home, our phones pinged. The smile on Lauren’s face made me feel seven feet tall, but when we pulled in front of the house, I knew I needed a minute with Logan.
“I’ll be in soon. I have to check something in the tree house.”
My phone chimed again, and I passed it to her. “Mind taking that inside? The passcode is your due date if you want to see if Logan’s family wrote back about the name.”
“Damn it, Aiden,” she said, swatting my arm as tears leaked down her face. “I held it together the whole time in the office.”
I chuckled and climbed out of the truck. After I helped her down, I brushed the moisture from her cheeks before resting my forehead on hers. “I love you so much, Lauren. I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, but I didn’t want to scare you off.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she said, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head on my chest. “I love you and our baby more than I ever thought possible.”
I lowered my mouth to hers and kissed her until she was breathless. “Go,” she said, pulling away before we got too heated to stop. “I’ll be waiting.”
Once I’d made sure she got inside safely, I crossed the dirt road and the freshly mowed field to the tree house.
Theo and Poppy delivered the statue earlier in the week. It sat beneath the tree, covered with a tarp for the big reveal we had planned for the anniversary of the accident. Since Lauren had been staying with me, I’d tinkered on the tree house whenever I had the urge to touch her, which was often. I’d finished up everything in record time.
I climbed the ladder and took a seat on the couch, admiring my work. It was admittedly a little overboard for a tree house. The windows were actual windows instead of cut-outs in plywood like our first tree house. The walls were insulated and finished with white shiplap. I’d gone back and forth between reclaimed wood or laminate for the floor, before remembering the first was prone to splinters.
“Who’d have thought we’d have a tree house this nice, Logan,” I said.
I’m not sure how long I sat there, remembering him and the childhood we’d shared before I finally said out loud what I’d been thinking since the moment Lauren said his name. “I don’t want to let you go, but I want to move on. I wish I could bring the best of you with me and leave behind all the regret, the anger. I’d appreciate if you’d help me out with that.”
“You sure he didn’t already?” Cal asked.
I jumped and may or may not have made a noise that sounded like a scream. “What the fuck, man? You about gave me a heart attack. Why’d you sneak up on me?”
He shrugged and took a seat beside me on the couch. “Seriously though, what are the chances you and Lauren would get drunk enough to sleep together one time and make a baby?”
He had a point. “Not that I’m not thrilled to have the shit scared out of me, but what are you doing here?
“Lauren asked us over. When she said where you were, I figured it was time I saw this place. It’s incredible. Way nicer than that pile of wood in your parents’ backyard.”
“Don’t knock that pile of wood. It’s the only reason I ever camped out after the neighbor’s dog bit my leg. The tree house was Logan’s idea, of course.”
Cal’s mouth fell open. “How did I not know that?”
“My sisters don’t even know. We told them we wanted space away from them, but really, I was scared to sleep on the ground.”
“Are you two done with your manly bro bonding yet?” Poppy shouted from below. “Theo’s on his way, and I’m not sure how he’s going to handle this without you.”
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Hell Cat,” I yelled.
“Don’t talk about my fiancée’s panties,” Theo yelled from a distance.
Cal and I laughed and took turns climbing down the ladder. More cars were pulling up to my house, including Fiona’s minivan and Everly’s SUV.
Theo stood between Rowan and Lauren, escorting them both through the shorn field.
“I told you to wait,” Cal said, sprinting off to help his wife. “Not that I don’t trust you, Theo.”
“Never doubted it,” he said, slapping Cal’s shoulder after he took Rowan’s arm.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Lauren said, smiling at me. “I thought maybe we should celebrate with everyone.”
Theo walked her all the way to me like some father of the bride before pulling Poppy to his side.
“Everyone?”
Lauren shrugged as a pack of my favorite kiddos tore across the field and went straight for the tree house.
“Wait,” Kayleigh yelled after them. “I hope you weren’t planning a ribbon cutting or something.” She wrapped Lauren in a hug before greeting me, while Ciara helped a very pregnant Fiona across the field. They both pulled Lauren into crushing hugs as well. Good thing I’d kept my mouth shut about the whole adoption thing.
“Hey,” Everly said, walking up with Maddie, their parents, and mine. Logan’s mom grabbed my hands. “We’d be honored if you named your son Logan.”
“You’re sure,” I said, looking at Mr. and Mrs. Hendricks. They nodded, both beaming.
My parents hugged Lauren like they hadn’t seen her in years, not weeks, and rubbed her stomach. Poppy was right. Zero boundaries. Once she’d freed herself from my parents, Lauren put her arm around my waist and smiled up at me. “You sure this is OK?”
“This is perfect,” I said as children’s laugher trickled down from the tree house.
“You know,” Everly said, looking at the tarp-covered statue. “We’re all here now. Well, everyone except the guys.”
“I’ve already got them on a video call,” Fiona said. “The two that matter, anyway.” She held up her phone and her husband and Ciara’s waved at everyone.
Kayleigh shot Fiona a look but didn’t disagree.
“If I’m being honest,” Theo said. “I never thought the anniversary was the right day to honor Logan.”
“So, we’re going with a random Tuesday?” I asked.
Maddie shrugged. “Why not? I mean, you’re naming your kid after him. The tree house and statue are great, but we all know Logan would have thought having a namesake was a bigger deal.”
“You OK?” I asked Theo.
“Yeah,” he said, and I actually believed him.
“Let’s do it then,” Cal said.
“Kids, get your butts down here,” Kayleigh hollered.
A chorus of complaints echoed, but one by one, my nieces and nephews joined us in a circle around the tarp-covered statue. Lauren squeezed my hand, and I moved behind her so I could place my hands on her bump. Fine, and so I could bury my face in her hair if I lost it again.
Theo unfastened the tarp, and he and Poppy each took an edge. She looked up and frowned. “Where’s my brother when I need him?”
Theo laughed and motioned for Cal to take her place, and together they lifted the tarp and flung it to the ground.
A life-size statue of Logan stood beneath the tree house, an exact replica of the picture someone had snapped of him when we won state. I recognized the moment. Logan leaping in the air with his arms stretched wide in celebration, a huge smile on his face.
“Who’s he hugging?” my niece Aubrey asked.
“Life,” Theo said.
Aubrey tilted her head and shrugged.
One by one, each of us stepped closer to admire Theo and Poppy’s work before my mom said we needed to make s’mores. Fiona texted her husband, who arrived with a bag of groceries and a case of bottled water right before Ciara’s husband pulled up with enough pizza to feed everyone. Before I knew it, we’d built a small fire by the tree house and were roasting marshmallows as the sun set.
When Lauren settled on my lap to enjoy her second s’more, I pulled her close. “This has been the best day of my life,” I whispered in her ear.
“Mine too,” she said, laying a chocolate-scented kiss on my cheek. “So far.”