Chapter 4
REID RATHE
In the courtyard, with the afternoon sun beating against our backs, I stand in line with Jacob for the best pastrami on campus. No. In the city. Everyone knows it, too, because the line is always ridiculously long. To prove that point, we’ve been standing here for twenty minutes.
There are two girls in front of us, clearly friends, and Jacob is shamelessly flirting with both of them.
One, in particular, keeps staring at me, waiting for me to chime in, waiting for me to flirt back, but I keep my eyes straight ahead, staring at the menu above as if I’m contemplating the side I’m going to choose when I know damn well I’ll get the same thing I always get.
Sea salt and vinegar chips. Jacob may be interested in them, but I am not.
Two days ago, I met the girl of my dreams. That’s what I’m calling her now, and I only know her name. Pathetic, I know.
Not only has she actively been in my dreams, but I find myself searching for her across campus when I’m out and about.
Also, I may or may not have been hanging out with Dustin more often at his place, hoping that I might catch a glimpse of her in the apartment building’s hallway or out in the parking lot.
No such luck, and I’m growing frustrated.
I scrub the back of my head and blow out a breath as Jacob gets the girls’ number, promising to invite them to the next party we throw.
Giggling, they turn back around just in time for them to order their food.
Smiling at me, Jacob pockets his phone. “Dude, that one girl was eye-fucking you.”
I stuff my hands into my pockets. “Not interested.”
He rolls his eyes. “You’re never interested. God, sometimes I wonder if you’re gay.”
I swivel my eyes to him and pin him with narrowed eyes and he holds up his hands in surrender. “Fine, fine. You’re not gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I mean…she was hot, and she was into you, man.”
Shrugging, I pull out my wallet as the girls pay for their sandwiches, knowing our turn is next. “I hadn’t noticed.”
Jacob rolls his eyes and pulls out a wadded and wrinkled twenty-dollar bill from his pocket. “I take some mindful happiness knowing that you at least got laid this past weekend.”
We step forward and order our sandwiches as the girls disappear with their food. The food court has a few different venues to order from: a taco hut, a burger joint, and a vegetarian stand. It’s on the other side of the campus than the cafeteria, a place we tend to avoid if we can help it.
As we wait for our sandwiches, we pay, keeping our conversation nonexistent, but I can see that Jacob has more to say on the matter.
“Just speak,” I say with annoyance.
“I think my silence speaks volumes about knowing how you’re hung up on a girl who didn’t even give you her phone number.”
I squint at him, my irritation now visible on my face. “I passed out right after sex and left the next morning before she woke up. There was no time to get her phone number.”
He chuckles and shakes his head.
“What?” I demand.
“Not your finest moment, was it?” he says, poking my shoulder. “Sneaking around so that you don’t get caught with your pants down, literally.”
Our order is placed before us, and we pick it up and start walking toward an empty table. “Do you have a small dick or something?” he asks as we sit down.
“What? Why would you ask that? Better yet, why would you assume that?”
He shrugs and brings the sandwich up to his mouth. After taking a bite, he says, “Because you barely use it.”
I snort and open my bag of chips. The smell of vinegar reaches my nose, making my mouth instantly water. “You know I’m not like that. I don’t have senseless sex.”
“Except the other night,” he points out. His finger jabs in my direction.
“It wasn’t senseless,” I growl.
He frowns, studying me. “You act like you’re in love.”
I wave him off after popping a chip in my mouth. “Not in love. I’m not an idiot.”
“But you can’t get over the girl. God, you’re like a chick.”
Shaking my head, I mumble, “I don’t know why I hang out with you.”
He grins around a mouthful of food. “You’d be lost without me. I bring joy to your life. Admit it.”
I close my eyes and fight the urge to groan, but he isn’t wrong. He has a certain quality about him that makes life a little more fun. Especially at a grueling university and a heavy homework load.
“Come on. Admit it.”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I growl, “Fine. You’re fun. Happy?”
Settling into his chair, he takes a huge bite of his sandwich. “Yep.”
I open my eyes and drop my hand back down the table with a thump. “You just wait. Someday, you’ll be chasing after a girl.”
He wrinkles his nose. “Hopefully, I’ll have her number if I do.”
“You’re never going to let that drop, are you?”
He smirks. “Never.”
I curse under my breath and look away. Hearing a familiar laugh, I look in the direction of the sound and spot Ivy, Dustin’s girl. She’s popping a tortilla chip into her mouth. “Ivy’s here.”
Without swiveling, Jacob asks, “Dustin too?”
I shake my head.
“I’m surprised she’s not sitting with us.”
Lifting a brow in his direction, I say, “Because you tease her endlessly. You flirt, and not only does it make her uncomfortable; it pisses off Dustin. I wouldn’t sit with you either.”
He grabs a napkin and swipes the sauce off his upper lip. “Her loss. I’m a catch.”
I snort again.
“Where’s Dustin anyway?” he asks with a scowl.
“He doesn’t get out of economics for another hour.”
He stares blankly at me.
“What?”
“It’s a little pathetic that you know his schedule.”
I shrug. “We compared classes to see if we had any together.”
“The bromance is strong with you two.”
The corner of my mouth tilts up in a half smile. “Jealous?”
In a mocking tone, he says, “Completely.”
Ivy laughs again, and my eyes immediately shoot back to her.
As Dustin’s best friend, I feel like it’s my duty to keep my eye on her just to make sure she isn’t getting hit on or something.
She’s a pretty girl, so it’s not impossible, and even though she’s dating one of the most popular guys at the college, it doesn’t stop some men.
She’s leaning toward someone, and I move my gaze to the girl next to her. Only to freeze.
My blood runs hot and cold at the same time. Relief and fear, because there she is. The girl. Sarah. My obsession. She’s sitting right next to Ivy, laughing with her over something they shared.
She’s just as gorgeous as I remember, if not more so in her casual wear of jeans and a sweater, her hair in a messy bun. There’s minimal makeup on her face, a lot less than there was this past weekend, and I find the lack of it makes her even more attractive.
Our time together surfaces in my head, the way her head tilted back as she moaned beneath me, the way her unique scent swirled around my nose, the way her lips fit perfectly to mine.
And then her eyes. I can see them perfectly from here, and I know if I keep staring at them, she’ll eventually look my way.
I wonder why she decided to come to this college.
I wonder what she’s majoring in. I wonder what her favorite color is, favorite smell, favorite food.
I want to know all the things about her, and I’m dying to get up from this chair, go over there, and sit next to her to find out.
But I know that’d make her uncomfortable, especially in front of Ivy, who probably has no idea that she slept with me.
If she had, Ivy would have approached me by now, and since she hasn’t, I can only assume that she doesn’t know.
“Dude,” Jacob says, snapping his fingers in front of my face. “Who are you staring at?”
“No one,” I lie, going back to my sandwich.
Now that I’ve found her, I don’t want to let her out of my sight, but I also don’t want Jacob to know who she is, who I’m staring at, who I’m longing after.
I’ll just have to find a way to approach her when she’s alone if I can find her again.
The thought isn’t pleasing, but if she stumbled into my path only a few days after meeting her, then it’ll happen again.
“You’re a terrible liar.” He turns in his chair and surveys the people sitting and enjoying their lunch. “Who is it?”
“Drop it, Jacob,” I growl under my breath.
Slowly, he turns back to face me, a wide grin on his face. “You found her, didn’t you?”
I flex my jaw and stare at my food, forcing myself not to look Sarah’s way. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He throws a chip at me, and it hits me in the peck, only to drop to the floor between my legs. “You totally did. Dude, you had hearts in your eyes for a good minute before I said anything. Which one is she?” Desperately, he looks around again before turning back to me. “Come on, who is she?”
“None of your business,” I say, flicking my gaze back to his.
“Why do you got to be like that, man? It’s not like I’m going to go over there and stick my tongue down her throat, though you probably should. Stake your claim, dude.”
I look up at the ceiling and sigh. “I’m going to not do that. Besides, if I went over there, I’d cause a scene in front of her friend.”
He leans forward and whispers, “You have a plan, don’t you?”
“Yes. No.” I frown. “Yeah, not really.”
He shrugs as if what he’s going to say next is going to piss me off. “So just continue to stare at her and have her disappear on campus again.”
“Unhelpful.”. The last person I should be taking advice from is Jacob, but he isn’t wrong, which only serves to make me even more angry.
“What are you going to do about that one chick?” he murmurs.
Without having to use her name, I know exactly who he’s talking about.
I’m supposed to be dating another girl. A girl my parents have set out for me to marry.
A girl who goes to this college, just like me.
It’s complicated, but I try not to think about it.
I don’t dream of this other girl. I don’t fantasize about her.
“Dorothy?” I ask.
“What a name that is,” he says, laughing. “What were her parents thinking?”
Shifting uncomfortably in my seat, I answer, “It’s a family name I guess.”
“You snooty rich people.” He pops a chip in his mouth and crunches down.
“Of course, they want to carry on a legacy name. Anyway. Does this mean you’ll call off this future engagement?
Because if you ask me, you’re letting your parents dictate who you spend the rest of your life with after you graduate. ”
I flex my jaw, knowing he’s right. It’s because of my last relationship that they don’t trust me to make wise decisions anymore.
“I was never interested in her to begin with,” I admit. I was just going through the motions after a terrible heartbreak.
“So then, tell your parents no, and go after whoever this hottie is.”
“It’s not that simple,” I grumble under my breath.
“Sure it is. It’s a two-letter word.”
“You have no idea what it’s like to be me, do you?”
He lifts an eyebrow. “Good looks with a lot of money? No.”
I tighten my hold on my chip bag. “I don’t have a lot of money.
I have an allowance to get me through college.
It’s not like I can tap into the family money whenever I want to.
” Which is something my last girlfriend found out about and promptly left me after I fell hard for her.
I was messed up for weeks, and after that, my parents picked someone out for me who would look good on their future and their empire’s future.
“Sure, sure,” he says around a chip.
I roll the tension from my neck. “Let’s talk about something else.”
Considering me carefully, he says, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you hung up on a girl. Not like that one chick.”
Jacob came into the picture at the tail end of my last relationship. He saw the part where I recovered from the heartache. Helped pull me out, actually, and showed me that there was hope for me with his jokes and teasing. That there were other fish in the sea and I’d find my place among the fish.
And I think I have.
I just have to figure out how to go about this. And that’s not the only hurdle I have to go through.
“Let me guess; you have some wise-ass joke about it,” I say, sneaking a careful glance in Sarah’s direction.
They’re standing and getting ready to leave the courtyard.
Panic rises in my throat, knowing that she’s going to disappear from my sight again, but I try to calm myself by taking a few deep breaths.
I’ll find her again. I will. I just have to play my cards right.
Jacob shakes his head. “Nope. None. It was just an observation.”
“That’s rare,” I say, turning my focus back to him once Sarah and Ivy leave the premises and head back into a building, bookbags slung over their shoulder. My heart patters a different pattern, knowing she’s no longer in my line of sight.
He frowns as he considers himself. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”
Sighing, I change the subject. “When is your next class?”
Checking his watch, he grumbles under his breath and wads up his trash. He stands, and I stand with him, following him to the trash by the taco hut. “In ten minutes. I gotta get going.”
“Yeah, me too,” I admit as we throw our trash away.
Before he leaves, Jacob clears his throat. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Going to Dustin’s family’s house for supper. You?”
He runs a hand through his hair. “Probably heading to the courts and playing some ball. Was going to see if you wanted to come.”
Walking backward to the direction I need to go for class, I say, “I’ll hit you up when we’re done, see if you’re still there.”
He nods and gives me a wave as he walks off in the opposite direction.