Chapter 5
AVERY MOORE
Sitting on my bed, I stare at all the textbooks scattered across my comforter. Highlighters, pens, and pencils lie next to my thigh, and my laptop sits to my right. To say I’m overwhelmed is an understatement.
The music playing on my phone in the background does nothing to soothe my nerves, either.
When I transferred here, I thought Smithson University would be an easier college. I don’t know why I thought that. Probably because I hadn’t heard the rumors that they pile it on. Literally. My backpack couldn’t fit all the textbooks, and I was forced to carry several in my arms just to walk home.
Sweat was dripping down my back, despite fall’s cooler breeze. I had come in the door, glared at Ivy when she nearly spit out her tea from my frazzled and my out-of-breath state, dropped my books on the bed, and showered.
Now I sit here, in comfortable clothes, staring at what may very well be my death. Death by homework. And the majority of it is due at the beginning of the week. My gosh, this is just one day of classes. I have a whole set of new ones tomorrow and the day after that.
I suppose I should count my blessings that I have a few days to complete them, but with what we’ll be getting tomorrow, I’d bet my last dollar that I’ll have more.
I sigh and flop back on my pillow, my laptop sliding off my lap and onto the highlighters.
I’ve never been afraid of homework and studying.
I was a bookworm in high school and a bookworm in my last two years of college.
Unlike my smart brother, I’ve always had to work hard to get the grades I needed.
And because of that and hours of my nose stuck in a book trying to soak up as much as I could, I never gained the social skills to be anything but an introvert.
Neil hated that about me. He was an extrovert through and through. He never understood why I had to try so hard and often held it against me, for reasons I never could fathom. So I had to study to get good grades. That makes me what? A large percentage of the student population?
He never told me, but I get the feeling his grades were horrible and he was projecting his problems onto me.
“Not my problem, anymore,” I tell myself as I stare at the ceiling.
Honestly, I should wash my hands of him. But he was a big part of my life, and then what he said to me, and the things that he did to ultimately break us up for good, were a true hit to the ego and self-esteem.
I swivel my head to my right and glance at myself in the mirror. Even lying down, I can see my curves.
Slowly, I lift my shirt and stare. My jaw flexes, and disgust fills me. It’s a miracle that I got laid, but it was dark, and he couldn’t see anything, and he was probably just as drunk and desperate as I was.
I run my hand over my stomach. I should do something about the weight. If I don’t like it, I should do something about it, right?
My phone’s alarm goes off, and I slide my shirt back into its proper place.
I sit up and turn the alarm off with a simple tap of my finger.
With one last glance at my homework, I slide off my bed.
It’ll have to wait until later. I promised my parents I’d come to dinner tonight, a celebratory meal for having us all together once again.
But we’re all different now. Everything is different. It doesn’t feel the same, and knowing I’m going to have to put a smile on my face when I feel so dark inside is not something I look forward to.
Heading to my closet, I grasp a dark gray sweater that I’m told by Ivy flatters my curves. It pairs well with my black leggings and falls mid-hip. Next, I throw my wet hair up into a messy bun. My parents don’t care what I look like as long as we all get there on time.
My phone chirps, and I head to my bed, pick it up, and read the text.
Dustin
Outside waiting for you.
He’s supposed to give me a ride. There’s nothing wrong with my car, but he insisted we could carpool. It hadn’t been a hardship to agree. I love my brother, and I know the car ride will be filled with a lot of laughter, like usual. And I desperately need a good laugh.
Without a backward glance in the mirror, I head out of my room, down the hall, and into the living room. Normally, Ivy would come with us—she’s considered family now for as long as they’ve been dating—but she had to work at the diner tonight.
I flick off all the lights and my phone chirps again.
Dustin
Still waiting.
I roll my eyes and swing the door open. “I’m coming, I’m—”
I freeze in the doorway. Leaning against the wall next to Dustin’s door is…holy mother…it’s him. The him. The guy.
He’s texting on his phone, but even with his eyes downcast, I can still take in his features.
He’s dressed casually in a pair of dark jeans that hug what can only be thick thighs.
The light blue shirt he’s wearing forms to his body, showing off more muscles.
Was he that muscular the other night? I only distinctly remember his face…
and the sex of course. I mean, I knew he had muscles, but this much muscle?
When I say nothing more and continue to stand in the doorway, he lifts his attention away from his phone and settles it on me. A slow smile spreads across his face, almost like the cat got the mouse.
I gulp.
I thought I’d never see him again, but there he stands, hot as ever, his eyes on me, his smile directed at me.
He pockets his phone and crosses his arms.
I mentally curse. What is he doing here?
“Took you long enough, Avery,” Dustin grumbles.
His words snap me from my frozen state. “Sorry,” I say as I slowly shut the door behind me and step farther out into the hallway. It’s the only word I can manage at this moment.
“Avery, huh?” my one-night stander says, the grin still on his face.
Dustin turns to him for a moment and then introduces us. “Avery, this is Reid, my best friend. Reid, this is Avery.”
I clear my throat and fidget, remembering that I had told Reid my name was Sarah. Crap. Crap, crap, crap.
“She’s my sister,” he continues.
“The sister you always talk about,” Reid murmurs, his eyes still glued to me. “I didn’t know she moved in across from you.”
Dustin rubs the back of his neck. “Must have slipped my mind.”
“Were you at the party the other night?” Reid’s grin broadens even wider, and I know, just by that look, that he remembers me.
I glance away, “I might have been.”
“She probably left before you got there,” Dustin chimes in. “She didn’t stay long.”
Wetting my bottom lip, I feel heat redden my cheeks. If only he knew.
“That’s too bad,” Reid murmurs. Sarcastically, he adds, “I definitely would have remembered you.”
I flick my gaze back to his, pleading that he doesn’t spill our secret. His eyebrows raise at our silent conversation, but he says nothing, thankfully.
Dustin picks up on our silence, on the look on my face and the expression on Reid’s. “Am I missing something?”
“No!” I say too quickly. “He just…ah—no. We should get going.”
“Yes, we should,” Reid says, pushing off the wall.
I frown and my heart picks up pace. “We?”
“He got invited too,” Dustin says, flicking his thumb over his shoulder at his best friend.
My stomach drops. This can’t be happening. What did I do to deserve such treatment from the universe? I can’t ride in the same car with the guy who smells like heaven. “Um. You guys go ahead. I forgot my keys inside. I’ll just drive myself.”
Dustin scowls. “You will not.”
“Dustin-”
“Oh come on, Avery. Don’t be stubborn.”
Reid tucks his bottom lip into his mouth to hide the smile at my panicked state. Of course he’d find this funny, the guy who, just by appearance, seems to have all of his shit together. Whereas me…I’m a hot mess all year round.
Dustin continues, nodding to the inside of my apartment. “Go get your keys to lock up. I’ll wait for you in the car.”
Just to get Reid’s eyes off of me, I duck inside. On shaky legs, I head to the table where my keys are and take several deep breaths. “This is fine. Everything will be fine. He’s not interested. It was one night. That’s all. We can pretend that it didn’t happen, and everything will be fine.”
Grabbing my keys, I bravely head back into the hallway, just to stop again. Dustin is gone, but Reid is leaning against the hallway wall right next to my door. “What are you doing?” I ask nervously.
“Do you always talk to yourself, Sarah?” His expression is neutral, but I can tell he’s upset that I lied to him.
Butterflies beat against the inside of my stomach. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
“Well, I did.”
I close the door and lock it, then rest my forehead against the wood, knowing this conversation needs to happen so that things don’t blow up around my brother. “And—um—sorry about the name thing. I was drunk, and it was stupid.”
“I’ve been walking around thinking the girl I can’t stop thinking about was named Sarah. Although I think you look more like an Avery, I’m a little whiplashed.”
Did he say he can’t stop thinking about me? That has to be a lie.
Keeping my forehead against the door, I turn my head toward him to meet his gaze. Gosh, is it intense, smoldering, and I know then and there that he means every word that he said. “You should stop thinking about me, then.”
“And why’s that?”
I lift my forehead off of the door and turn to face him. “Because I’m not interested.”
The grin returns to his face. “Liar.”
I scowl at him. “I am not.”
He tips his head to my apartment. “Did you forget that I just heard you talking to yourself in there?”
Looking away in shame, I bite my bottom lip and repeat myself. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
He brings two fingers to my chin and tips my head back to face him. The feel of his skin, although very minimal, melts my insides. “But I did, and I’m not mad about it. It lets me know that I’m not the only one affected here.”
His gaze moves to my lips, and I know exactly what he’s thinking. Even though my insides are screaming at me to let him kiss me, I move his hand off my chin and say quietly, “Not going to happen.”
I cannot get involved with another guy, my brother’s best friend at that, right now.
No matter how hot he is. No matter how he stares at me.
No matter his pretty words. He left me, for crying out loud.
He didn’t say goodbye. I was a quick fuck, and that’s probably all he wants right now. That’s all guys like him want anyway.
“Why?”
“Because I’m not interested,” I whisper, glancing at his lips, wondering just for a moment whether they taste just as good as they did the other night.
He smirks, and god, if it isn’t the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. “Oh, you’re interested.”
I flick my gaze back to his with pinched eyebrows. “I’m not going to get involved with someone.”
“Why?” he asks again.
“Because I know guys like you. I’ve dated a guy like you. I’m not interested in a repeat.”
That must stun him silent because he says nothing as I lock up the apartment and all but jog down the stairs. I need to get away from him before I do something stupid. Something I’ll regret.
No. I can’t have Reid. He has heartbreak written all over him, and I have no interest in having my already fragile heart broken all over again. I barely survived what Neil did to me. I won’t survive it again, especially since he’s my brother’s best friend.