Addiction - Chapter 31
Saturday
When I woke up I was sweating. James' arms were wrapped tightly around me.
He always seemed so confident. I didn't realize how insecure he really was.
In a lot of ways we were complete opposites.
But I was insecure too. And he always gave me what I needed.
I had to make sure I was giving him what he needed.
"Hey," I said softly, running my fingers through his hair.
He slowly opened his eyes. He lifted his head off my chest and looked down at me. "Hey."
"How are you feeling? You were really drunk last night."
He laughed. "I'm fine. Although I don't remember much about last night." He looked down at my naked body and smiled. "I remember that."
It was strange. He didn't seem hungover at all. Maybe alcoholics didn't get hangovers? But he wasn't really an alcoholic. He wasn't addicted to anything right now. Was he?
"Do you need some Advil or something?"
"No, I'm okay." He reached up toward my face.
"Oh my God, James." I sat up and grabbed his hand. "Your hand is bleeding. Why are you bleeding?!"
"Oh, shit." He ran his hands down his face. "Fuck. I remember that too."
"What happened? James, you need to clean it. It's going to get infected or something." I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the bathroom.
I opened up a drawer in his vanity and then another. "Do you have peroxide? Or Band-Aids or anything?" I pulled open another drawer.
"No. Penny, I'm fine. Really, it doesn't even hurt." He put his hand on my shoulder. He was smiling at me in the mirror.
"This isn't funny. We were just in the hospital. I don't want to go back. Is Ellen here? Maybe she has something?"
"She doesn't work on the weekends. Penny, it's fine. See?" He moved his hand into a fist and winced.
"Jesus, James." I turned on the water and grabbed the bar of soap. I put his hand underneath the faucet.
He gave a sharp exhale and turned away from me in the mirror.
It didn't seem like it was still bleeding.
There was just tons of dried blood on the back of his hand.
And it looked like he might be missing a layer of skin on his knuckles.
I gently washed away the blood. I turned off the water and patted his hand with one of his fluffy hand towels.
He still wasn't looking at me. He was acting guilty.
Really, really guilty. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.
"James, what did you do?"
"Thank you. I'm sorry, I didn't know I was bleeding."
"James."
He looked down at his hand and then back at me. "I wanted to fix it."
I swallowed hard. "Fix what?"
"He touched you. That asshole touched you."
"You didn't. James, you promised me that you wouldn't hurt him."
"I didn't promise you that I wouldn't hurt him. I told you exactly what I was going to do. I said I was going to punch him in the face. And that's what I did."
"You said you were going to call Joe. This wasn't the way to fix it."
"He shouldn't have touched you."
"He's probably going to the dean right now. Or calling the cops on you."
"Trust me, he's not."
"What does that mean? Can he not move or something?"
James laughed. "No. I just made it very clear that I'd visit him again."
"You threatened him?"
"You don't understand."
"Obviously. Because there was another way to handle this. So you're right, I don't understand why you got drunk and beat up another professor. Why would you do that?"
"Because I couldn't be there to protect you! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"
"Yes. Because you never let me protect you."
He ran his hands over his face. "That's different."
"It's not different. And I've never beat someone up because of it."
He leaned against the sink. "I did what I needed to do. He's a freaking pervert. He deserved it."
"And that's how people see you. Because you won't defend yourself. And you won't let me try to protect you. I don't want people to see you like that. I want everyone to know how wonderful you are."
"But I'm not wonderful. I'm used to people saying bad things about me. I can handle it."
"You are wonderful." I put my hands on both sides of his face. "You're so wonderful. And smart, and funny, and sexy, and perfect. Even when you get in fist fights you have good intentions."
"I didn't have good intentions. I wanted to kill him."
"You can't convince me that you're a bad person. I don't know why you keep trying to do that. I love you."
"I'm not going to apologize for what I did. I'm still mad." He looked down at his hand.
"If you're mad about what's going on, then maybe you should do something else about it."
"What else can I do?"
I just stared at him.
"What? Talk to the press? Penny, that really would just make it worse."
"Yes. Please. Please tell the real story."
"Joe's going to be mad."
"I don't care. I don't want to go here anymore anyway."
"You don't?"
"No. I want to take the rest of the semester off. And try to enroll somewhere else in the spring. I want that fresh start you talked about."
"You'd give up going here to be with me?"
"Yes. All that I care about is being with you." I needed him to know that he had become the most important thing to me. I adored and cherished him too. "I love you, James Hunter."
He was staring at me so intently. For the first time ever, it seemed like he might actually believe me.
"I love you with everything that I am."
He grabbed my waist and kissed me. "I love you." He lifted me up onto the sink. "And it's rather convenient that you're already naked."
I laughed as he pressed his lips against mine again.
***
"Good morning," I said as James and I emerged from our bedroom.
"Well, you two look like you're in a good mood," Rob said as he opened up the fridge door. "Must be all the sex." His head disappeared behind the fridge door.
I looked up at James. "Could he hear us?" I whispered.
James put his lips next to my ear. "He might have been able to hear you. You're unbelievably responsive."
I pushed on his chest.
"I'm just kidding," James whispered. "I'm sure he couldn't hear us."
"Do either of you want some scrambled eggs?" Rob asked. "I assume you're both hungry after your double header."
"I would love some, but only because it's breakfast time and I have a normal person's hunger," I said and sat down at the kitchen counter.
Rob laughed. "Don't be shy now. You know, for such a nice place, the walls are kind of thin. Don't you think, Professor Hunter?"
"Shit," James mumbled.
"You don't have to be embarrassed. Penny already told me all about how kinky she is. I would have been surprised if she wasn't screaming Professor Hunter all night and morning."
"Please stop talking," James said.
"Besides," Rob continued. "We had to go on that top secret mission last night so I didn't end up getting laid. It was nice to have something to jerk off to."
I could feel myself gaping at him. He couldn't possibly be serious.
"Damn it, Rob, we've talked about this. Stop saying stuff like that around Penny. I don't want to have to kick you out."
Rob cracked an egg. "It's fine. Penny and I are cool."
"Actually, we're not cool," I said. "Because James told me all about your secret mission. And you told me that you wouldn't let him do anything stupid. Punching a professor in the face is something stupid. What is wrong with you?"
"I tried to stop him."
"Not well enough."
"He's bigger than me." Rob shrugged and cracked another egg.
"You two must have been a disaster together growing up," I said.
"No, only me really. James is the perfect one. I'm a terrible influence on him." He pushed the eggs around the pan with a spatula.
"That's kind of what it seems like."
"Geez, you sound like my mom. What, you think I wanted to go kick some guy's ass last night? That was not how I saw last night going at all. That was all him." He pointed at James.
I couldn't help but laugh. This must have been how they behaved growing up. Blaming each other for everything. It was actually kind of adorable.
"So what are we doing today?" Rob asked. "Is there someone else we need to beat up?"
"Penny and I are going shopping. We need to pick up a few things for the apartment." James sat down next to me at the counter.
"I don't mind third wheeling." Rob put some of the scrambled eggs on plates and handed them out.
"Thanks, Rob, these look great," I said and took a bite. I wasn't sure why James still wanted to go shopping. I had just told him that I wanted to move.
"Actually, if it's alright, I was hoping to do something with just Penny. We'll only be gone for a few hours."
"Fine. I have some stuff I need to do too anyway."
"You do? What are you going to do? Nothing illegal I hope?" I asked.
"Very funny, Penny. No, I ordered an Xbox from this place down the street. I need to go get it and set it up."
"I can't even remember the last time I played videogames," James said.
"I know. It's going to be so much fun crushing you. I call dibs on James after your lunch date." He pointed his fork at me.
"I'm good at videogames," I said. "Maybe I can crush both of you."
Rob laughed. "I seriously doubt that."
"I played tons of N64 growing up. I can beat anyone at Mario Kart."
Rob laughed again. "Yeah, this isn't N64. Xbox is for grownups."
"I'm sure it's not that different."
"Well, I guess we'll see later. Game on, Penny. Oh, and Professor Hunter, could you please pick me up some condoms? Like a huge box? Like all the condoms they have in the store."
"Please don't call me that. And there's some in my nightstand. You can have them."
"I think the two of you are going to need those."
"Yeah, we don't use them."
Geez. Is nothing personal between these two?
"Fuck, I hate you. I hate both of you so much."
James laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the elevator.