Addiction - Chapter 32
Saturday
"What about something like this?" James stopped next to a huge painting of the beach. There was a boardwalk that overlooked the sand and water.
"It reminds me of Rehoboth." I leaned my head against his shoulder.
"Me too. It's kind of perfect, right?" He wrapped his arm around my back.
"That's the day I fell in love with you, you know."
He kissed my temple. "You barely knew me."
"I knew enough."
He turned back to the painting. "Let's get it."
"I thought you liked the idea of moving? Why are we buying stuff for a place we might leave?"
"We can bring it with us. Where do you think you want to go?"
"I don't know. Aren't you happiest in New York?"
"I'm happiest when I'm with you." He kissed my temple again.
I smiled up at him. "Maybe I should apply to some places and see if I can get in anywhere before we choose. I'm not sure how easy it's going to be. You said people might not think my grades are valid."
"You can get in wherever you want."
"What do you mean by that?'
"I'm more than willing to make a hefty donation to any university that you choose."
I laughed. "I don't want you to do that."
"How do you think I got Joe to change your incomplete to a withdrawal?"
"James. You're exasperating. I didn't ask you to do that. And now I'm going to drop out. That was a terrible investment."
"Eh. Maybe they'll name a lecture hall after me or something. You know, when things die down."
"I kind of doubt that."
"Then choose your next university wisely so I don't have to keep wasting money. Besides, I've always wanted a building named after me."
I laughed and looked back up at the painting. "I want you to decide where we go. I'm indecisive. You're better at making decisions than me."
"I'd rather make that decision together." He squeezed my shoulder. "Until then, I definitely want this painting. You like it, right?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Okay. I'll be right back." He walked over to the art gallery manager.
I turned back to the painting. It was really fun picking out stuff together for our place. James and the manager walked back over.
The manager pulled the canvas off the wall. "Let me package it up for you. I'll be right back."
"James, could we maybe get the picture you sent me the other day printed out?"
"Of Rob giving you the middle finger? I'm sure we can get a better picture than that."
"It's the first picture you ever sent me of yourself. I like it. You look really happy. I even made it my background image." I handed him my phone. I had cropped Rob out of it so that it was zoomed up on James' face.
"You're incredibly cute." He handed me my phone back. "Can it at least be smaller than the painting we just got?"
I laughed. "Yeah, that's fine. Just like a normal sized picture would be great."
"Okay." He wrapped his arm around me again. "So what else do cozy places have?"
"James, I need to confess something."
His arm seemed to stiffen.
"It's not bad. I just..." my voice trailed off.
"When I told you I went to my dorm room after I was upset because it was cozy, that wasn't the whole truth.
I was embarrassed. When you described what your brother was like, you said he wasn't independent.
You made it seem like that was a bad thing.
And I don't want you to think of me that way.
I wanted to prove to you that I could be strong and take care of myself. And I couldn't. I..."
"Penny, I want to take care of you." He kissed my forehead. "I want you to let me take care of you."
"I need you." I wanted him to know that. When he was drunk he had said that I didn't need him. I did. I needed him in every way.
He lowered his eyebrows slightly. I wasn't sure if he remembered confessing that he thought I didn't need him. But it seemed to affect him either way.
"Penny, I need you too. You shouldn't be embarrassed about that."
"I know. But I told you I could handle it. I just wanted you to think I was strong. And I was embarrassed about how wrong I was about everything. Everyone was so horrible. I just felt..."
"Hey." He cupped my chin in his hand. "I do think you're strong. I think you're perfect. You don't need to prove anything to me."
I smiled up at him.
"Does that mean my apartment is cozy enough already?"
I laughed. "It could be cozier."
"Mhm. So back to my original question. What else do we need?"
"A rug in the living room might be nice."
"Good thinking."
***
"What about L.A.?" James asked, as we pulled to a stop at an intersection.
"I think I want to stay on the east coast."
"Finally, now we're getting somewhere." He turned to me and smiled. "North or south?"
"North. I think I'd miss the snow."
"Me too." He put his foot on the gas when the light turned green. "But I don't want to go too far north. Tons of snow would be worse than no snow."
"You're probably right." I pulled my legs up onto my seat.
New York seemed to be a good fit. Minus the fact that I preferred a back yard with grass and friendly neighbors.
But central park had been beautiful. That whole day I had spent with him in New York had been wonderful.
"If we moved to New York, where would we live? "
"If we moved to New York, I think I'd like you to give the city a try. Maybe an apartment in Manhattan?"
"Would that be weird? You know so many people in the city. I wouldn't know anyone at all. Tyler said he was going to interview for a position where he'd have to move there, but that wouldn't be until after he graduates. And he might not even get it."
James didn't even seem to react to me mentioning Tyler. Maybe he was starting to accept the fact that he was my friend.
"You'd know me. Penny, if we moved to New York, I'd still be hanging out with you all the time. I prefer spending my time with you."
I could tell that was where he wanted to be.
"You said you left New York because you needed a change.
If you went back, do you think you'd be unhappy again?
" I couldn't help but think about his addiction problem.
His brother had been here for less than 24 hours and James had already drank more than I had ever seen him drink.
Maybe being around people he used to know wasn't what was best for him.
But he had seemed so happy during our day trip to New York. It was his home.
"I'm not sure I could possibly be unhappy as long as I have you.
" He didn't turn to me and smile. He wasn't saying it to be flirtatious.
He said it because he thought it was true.
It was similar to what he had said to me after he hadn't spoken to me for weeks.
That he couldn't possibly have a good life without me in it.
"I think we should go to New York then."
He laughed. "I thought you didn't like the city?"
"I liked it with you."
He put his hand on the center console and I quickly grabbed it. He ran his thumb across my knuckles. "Is that really what you want to do?"
"NYCU has a beautiful campus. And it's only a 15 minute subway ride from Manhattan."
He turned toward me and smiled. "You've been thinking about this for a while?"
I shrugged. "I did a little research. And wouldn't it be easier to start a company there? With all your connections and stuff?"
"Connections and stuff?" He laughed. "I don't need investors. I can start it anywhere. I was starting it here. But yes, I probably would have had to go to New York every now and then."
"So let's just go permanently."
"Is that really what you want to do?"
"Yes." I squeezed his hand. I wanted to start my life with him.
"You're sure?"
"I'm positive."
He pulled to a stop outside his apartment building and leaned over and kissed me. "So how about we tell the reporters what really happened?"
They were already rushing over to his car.
"You don't care about making Joe mad?" I asked.
"Nope. I care about making you happy." He kissed me again before stepping out of the car.
I opened up the door to follow him.
"James! Are the allegations true? Have you seduced several students at the University of New Castle?" A woman's microphone was already waving in front of his face.
"No." He looked over at me and held out his hand.
I grabbed it and he pulled me beside him.
"Just Penny." He was talking to the reporter, but he was looking down at me.
"How did your affair start?"
"It isn't an affair. I filed for divorce last year.
My ex-wife and I have been separated since then.
" James tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
We were in front of dozens of cameras, but it somehow seemed like we were alone.
I loved how he made me feel like I was the only one that mattered.
"How long has this been going on?"
"We met right before classes started."
"You met outside of class?" The woman looked surprised.
I turned toward the reporter. "Yes, we met in a coffee shop.
Actually, we didn't really meet so much as he bumped into me and spilled coffee all over my shirt.
He was really sweet; he let me borrow his sweater so I wouldn't have to walk around campus with a big coffee stain down the front of me.
I thought he was just another student. I was shocked when I went to class the next day and found out he was a professor. "
The woman smiled at us.
Maybe we can win them over.
Another reporter stepped in beside her. "How many students did you have relationships with before Penny?" He was gruff and didn't seem touched at all by the story of how we met.
Maybe we can't win them over.
"None. Just Penny."
"And what about Blive Tech International? Did you make a habit of sleeping with your employees? Maybe your young interns?"
"No. All of my relationships at Blive Tech International were purely professional. I don't even think I ever met any of the interns."
"So what made you be unprofessional in your current position? What made you break the code of conduct at the University of New Castle?"
"We didn't break any rules. Student-professor relationships aren't mentioned in the handbook.
Given the fact that we didn't do anything wrong, I think we've both suffered enough backlash.
I'm appalled by how the university has handled this situation.
And I'm greatly disturbed by how the entire campus has reacted.
By harassing Penny and me instead of trying to find the truth. "
"Of course there's been backlash. Because the university has found the truth. There's evidence that you've had sexual relationships with several students in addition to her."
"Which isn't true. I get it, okay? It's their word against mine.
But every girl that came forward was failing or almost failing one of my classes.
With their testimony, their classes were canceled and they got As.
They must have known what would happen. I don't think their motive could be any more obvious.
The university should be punishing them, not us.
Or at least trying to get to the bottom of what happened instead of pretending lies are the truth. "
"Three young, innocent women with no priors are definitely trusted over a rich bachelor who didn't even need this job. Why did you even start teaching here? Was it just so you could sleep with your students?"
"I was trying to give back to the community. And it's just one student. Just Penny. I had no idea when I accepted this job that I was going to fall in love."
"She's eight years younger than you."
"She's only seven years younger than me. You should really get your facts straight."
The reporter frowned.
"What made you pursue this relationship?" the first reporter said, pushing herself back in front of the surly one. "Even when you knew what might happen if people found out?"
"Something happened to me when I met Penny.
Everything just...nothing was..." His voice trailed off.
"What no one seems to understand is that we're just two normal people who fell in love.
Yes, the circumstances weren't ideal. But what we have is.
I don't really care what people say about me.
Spread all the rumors that you want. All I care about is Penny. All I care about is what we have."
"If you aren't guilty then why did you resign?" the rude reporter asked.
"I resigned because the dean told me that I couldn't keep working here if I continued my relationship with Penny. That was never an option. Like you said, I don't need this job. But I do need her."
"Did he sexually harass you, Penny? Did he force..."
"No. Haven't you been listening at all? Absolutely not.
He resigned so he could be with me. Because he loves me.
James is sweet and thoughtful. He's smart and kind and charming.
He's always been such a gentleman. He never forced me to do anything.
I'm so in love with him. I don't understand why you're choosing to vilify him.
And I agree with James completely. Make up whatever you want about us.
We're not going to let you affect our relationship.
We're not going to let all this toxicity hurt us.
That's why I'm done here. I'm not going to finish school at a university that clearly doesn't want me. "
"Are you moving? Are you transferring to a different school?" the nicer reporter asked.
"Look, you're all going to need to find a new hobby," James said.
"Because we're not going to be here for much longer.
We don't want to be associated with a community that is filled with hate.
I expected more from the students around campus.
And I definitely expected more from the other professors at this institution.
Maybe that's a story you should be chasing.
Penny and I are going to try our luck somewhere else. "
"Where are you moving?"
"We don't have any more comments at this time.
" James pulled me back to the car and opened the door for me.
He walked around the back of the car to avoid the reporters and climbed into the driver's side.
"You were right. That was a good idea. It was nice to finally say something bad about this ridiculous university. "
"Yeah. Fuck them."
James laughed. "You're right. Fuck them."