Missing Pieces - Chapter 38
Tyler
Thursday
I woke up to the sound of the TV. I slowly opened my eyes. Hailey was sitting on the edge of the bed in a tank top and cutoff jean shorts, completely engrossed in the TV. I glanced at the screen.
The news reporter was standing outside the hospital talking about how tech mogul, James Hunter, had just woken up from his coma. I quickly sat up in bed. "He's awake?"
Hailey turned toward me and smiled. "Yeah."
"Thank God." I sighed. I hadn't realized how worried I had actually been until it was finally over.
He was awake. Penny was going to be okay.
I didn't have to worry anymore. I don't have to think about her anymore.
Maybe I could finally let go. Maybe we really could just be friends.
I stared at the back of Hailey's head. The truth was, I didn't have feelings for Penny anymore.
Josh was probably right. When I had met her, I needed something good to hold on to.
What if I was doing the same thing with Hailey?
If I was being honest, I was scared shitless of joining the marines.
Maybe I was focusing on her so much because it made me feel better.
I needed to stop making the same mistakes.
I needed to stick to my gut and focus on the decisions I had already made.
In three years, if I really did feel the same way, I'd find her.
But I couldn't think about that right now.
For once in my life, I had to focus on myself.
"Are you going to call her?" Hailey asked. "To see if she's okay?"
I shook my head. "No. I know she's okay." Now that James was awake, she was good. She'd be okay.
Hailey nodded and switched off the TV. "Could we maybe get going? I brought your stuff in from the car." She gestured to the bags on the floor as she stood up.
I wasn't in a hurry to get going. We hadn't really talked about it, but the original plan was to drop her off in Pasadena.
To say goodbye. The thought made me feel slightly nauseous.
But it was inevitable. Today had to be goodbye.
Maybe she'd still want to see the Pacific Ocean though. I just needed a little more time.
"Yeah." I climbed out of bed and stretched. "Do you know where in Pasadena you're going exactly?"
"I have it all mapped out." She pulled the map out of the back pocket of her jeans. "It takes about three and a half hours to get there from here."
I pulled on a t-shirt. "Do you want breakfast before we get going? I'm starving."
"Sure." She didn't look at me. Her fingers were pulling on the strands of fabric on her jean shorts.
I could tell she was nervous, but I didn't really know what to say. Instead, I wrapped my arms around her. "It's going to be okay."
"You don't know that."
I ran my fingers through her hair. "If worse comes to worst and the business fails, you can start over, Hails. I know it seems bad right now, but it won't break you."
She stepped back from me and pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes. "Yeah, of course. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?" She didn't try to hide the sarcasm in her voice. "Let's just get this over with okay?" She pulled her duffel bag over her shoulder and walked out of the room.
***
Hailey barely spoke during breakfast. And now I had been watching her knee bounce up and down nonstop for three hours in the car.
This morning I had thought she was worried about going to Pasadena and applying for the loan she needed.
But now it seemed like she was just mad at me.
And as the minutes ticked by and I got closer to saying goodbye, it was starting to feel like I couldn't breathe.
I didn't want to walk away on a bad note.
I didn't want to remember our time together like this.
I cleared my throat. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.
"No. Not really." Her eyes stayed glued to the map in her lap.
"I need you to know how much this past week has meant to me. How much you..."
"Not everything is about you, Tyler." She was gripping the map so tightly that it was starting to tear under her hands.
"Okay." Neither one of us said anything for a few minutes. I cleared my throat again. "There's plenty of places to get loans."
She shook her head. "Not when you owe as much money as we do." Her knee continued to bounce up and down.
I placed my hand on it. "It's going to be okay."
"Why do you keep saying that?" She pulled her knee away from my hand. "Take a right up here."
I followed her directions.
"How about I come in with you? I'm good at negotiating..."
"Tyler, please stop. Take a left here."
"Well, how about I wait for you outside then?" I turned left. "We talked about seeing the Pacific Ocean for the first time together. We can walk around the beach and get lunch. I don't have to report to basic training until tomorrow."
"Why are you making this harder than it needs to be?"
"I don't want to just leave you in Pasadena alone. We can hang out for the rest of the day and I can drop you off at LAX on my way to San Diego."
"Turn right, into that neighborhood."
Why the hell are we going into a neighborhood?
But I turned right and started driving past the fanciest houses.
They reminded me of Josh's, only even bigger.
The only word I could think of to describe them was ostentatious.
No one needed a house this big unless they had ten children and their in-laws living with them.
"Stop right here." She pointed to a house on the right.
I pulled up out front of the long driveway that led to what I would classify as a mansion. But all I could focus on was her knee bouncing up and down. We sat there for a moment in silence, the engine still running. I felt like I was going to be sick.
Hailey sighed. "I don't really know what to say, Tyler. You know how I feel about you. And I understand where you're coming from with your decision." She shrugged her shoulders. "So, I guess this is it. I really appreciate the ride." She stuck out her hand to me.
"Hails..."
"Tyler, please don't make this harder than it has to be." She lowered her hand.
"I'll just wait right here and when you're done we..."
"I don't want you to wait," she said, throwing back the words I had said to her last night.
I swallowed hard.
"Can you respect that or not?"
"Yeah, Hails. Of course."
She opened the car door and grabbed her duffel bag out of the back seat. "You know where to find me after you get out," she said as her fingers wrapped around the passenger's side door. "If you want to."
"I know where to find you."
We locked eyes for a second and she nodded.
"Good luck, Tyler. I hope you find what you're looking for."
"Good luck to you too."
And with that, she closed the door. When she was halfway up the driveway she turned around to look at me. And then she pointed with her finger to the exit of the neighborhood.
I had asked her not to wait for me. The least I could do was not wait for her either. I waved.
She waved.
And then I drove away, without looking back, even though it felt like I was suffocating.