Runaway - Chapter 24
Thursday
The Pacific Ocean was colder than the Atlantic. And it didn’t smell the same at all. I couldn’t really explain it, but it was all wrong.
I was hoping standing here would give me clarity. But all it did was make me miss the beach house. Or was it Miller I missed? It was both. It was definitely both.
The more days that passed, the more I realized that I kind of loved the cage my father had put me in.
I loved my routine there. I loved running on the beach with Miller and the lazy days swimming in the ocean.
I loved reading next to him, sprawled out on the couch.
And I loved dancing with him as we cooked. I loved my cage.
And I didn’t know what that said about me.
I needed to figure out how to be happy without being in isolation.
I wasn’t really sure I knew how to be happy on my own.
I needed to learn what it meant to be…me. Because I wasn’t dead. I was here, breathing, staring at an ocean I hated.
But it was still the beach. I’d loved being at the beach with Miller. I needed to see if I liked it on my own just as much. I needed to figure out my shit.
I sat down in the sand and stared at the crashing waves in the distance.
I needed clarity.
But right now everything just hurt.