Runaway - Chapter 46
I stared down at the little bundle of blue in my arms. I still couldn’t believe he was finally here.
Miller was stretched out on the hospital bed beside me, fast asleep. He’d stayed up all night trying to get our son to stop crying so I could get some rest. But I wasn’t tired anyway. I just wanted to hold my baby boy.
They’d both fallen asleep about an hour ago. And I kept looking back and forth between their sleeping faces. This little guy was a spitting image of his father.
Miller moaned and slowly opened his eyes. “How are we doing?”
“Good.” I reached down and lightly ran my fingers through Miller’s hair. “He’s sleeping.”
“And do we have a name yet?”
I’d insisted for months that I wanted to call him Henry.
But Miller remained adamant that he didn’t want to name our son after a tomato.
He had a few names picked out. And the longer I stared at our son, the more I realized Miller was right.
This little boy was so much better than a tomato plant.
He’d quickly stolen half my heart. The other half was still with Miller.
“Yeah, I think we finally have a name,” I said.
Miller reached his hand up, cradling my face. “I’m okay with Henry. If that’s really what you want. You know that.”
Even with all his protests, I did know that. Miller always just wanted me to be happy. And that included letting me pick our child’s name. But…this was our baby. And our baby wasn’t one of many Henrys.
“No,” I said. “I like the one you picked out. It suits him.” I looked back down at our son.
Miller didn’t move. “Which name?” He reached up, grabbing my chin so I’d look back down at him.
“Which one was your favorite again?” I was teasing him. I knew what his favorite was. And it was my favorite now too.
“Jacob.”
I nodded. “Jacob. I think that’s his name, don’t you?”
“Yeah?”
“Jacob Miller sounds perfect. Doesn’t it?”
Miller nodded. “You’re perfect.”
“Only because I didn’t name our son after my tomato plants.”
“That would have been weird.”
“Well I’ve only ever loved them and you.” And Matt. I blinked, the thought of Matt hitting me like a slap in the face. I swallowed hard, trying to push away the image of his face in my head. I cleared my throat. “And as much as I love you, I wasn’t going to name our son Richard.”
Miller laughed and sat up. “I wouldn’t have wanted that either.” He put his arms out so I could let him hold Jacob.
He pulled him against his chest. “We don’t need another Little Dicky running around.”
I laughed. “No we do not. One Little Dicky is plenty.” I yawned.
“Come here.” Miller put his arm out so I could nestle into his side.
I rested my head against his shoulder.
“Look at what we made.”
I looked up at Miller instead of at Jacob. “I love you.”
He looked down at me. “I love you.”
I blinked the tears out of my eyes. “If something ever happens to me, you’ll keep him safe, right?”
“What are you talking about? Nothing’s going to happen to you.”
I blinked faster. “She’ll eventually find me,” I said.
I looked down at our son. Isabella would find me one day.
She’d kill me. I’d always had nightmares about it.
But they’d been worse recently. Like I could feel her wrath all around me.
Like I could feel her anger. What bothered me the most about it was that it made it seem like I was connected to her somehow.
Like maybe this bond we had as sisters somehow made me know she’d lost her mind again.
Miller was quiet for a moment. “I need to tell you something. And I need you to promise not to be upset.”
“Let me guess. You installed cameras all over the hospital?” I looked back up at him.
“No. But you don’t have to worry about Isabella anymore. She’s…dead.”
“What? How? How do you even know that?”
“That day we thought she showed up at the restaurant? I set up a Google alert for her name. To keep an eye on her. To make sure she was nowhere near us. I didn’t tell you about it, because I remembered you’d told me you just wanted to picture everyone from our past living happily ever after.
I figured keeping tabs on her went against that.
I’m sorry, I should have told you ages ago. ”
“I never wanted Isabella to live happily ever though.” I swallowed hard, the guilt catching weird in my throat. “I wanted her to die.”
Miller was quiet.
“I worry sometimes. That I’m just like her.”
“What? No.” Miller pulled me closer to him. “She was crazy, Brooklyn. You’re not crazy. You’re kind and passionate and lovely.”
“Then why aren’t I sad that my half-sister is dead?”
“Does it help if you know that I’m relieved too?”
I took a deep breath. “A little. How…how did she die?” I doubted it was kidney failure. Surely my dad would have stolen some rando’s kidney for his daughter if that was the case.
“She fell out of a window in a hospital.”
A chill ran down my spine as I sat in my hospital bed. “Like…a mental hospital?”
“No. A normal hospital. I don’t know all the specifics, but the article I read made it seem as though she kind of lost it when her marriage to James started falling apart…”
“James?”
Miller was silent.
“James Hunter? He married her?”
“Yeah.”
Oh, James. I put my hand over my mouth. I’d always hoped he’d go down a better path than that.
Like he’d wake up from the fog of drugs and booze.
Like he’d make a choice for himself. It broke my heart that he hadn’t.
That he’d married that monster. And it broke my heart more, remembering him proposing to me.
Remembering Rob saying James had to marry a Pruitt. James.
I’d left New York behind for a reason. Because my dad had painted a picture for me…of everyone being better off without me. Matt being happy. The Untouchables being friends again. Kennedy and Felix possibly becoming more than friends.
I hadn’t believed it at first. I hadn’t wanted to believe it. But I saw the pictures. And then I saw it for myself. The image of Matt in that pool with the brunette girl would always be seared into my brain.
They were all supposed to be better off.
So why the hell had James married Isabella?
Where were his friends when he needed them?
Were they not speaking again? Were they still not friends?
My stomach twisted into knots. I was so disappointed that James had married Isabella.
Knowing everything she did to me. But I was more disappointed in Matt, Mason, and Rob.
They were supposed to have his back. They were supposed to care more than that.
It felt like my heart was breaking in two.
“I…” my voice trailed off. Maybe a few years ago, I may have been filled with doubt.
Over whether I made the right choice. But it wasn’t my responsibility for anyone else to have a happily ever after.
I only had control over my own life. And I couldn’t think about what James was going through.
Or anyone else. Sometimes I was bad at putting myself first. But it was really easy for me to put Miller first. To put our baby first. “I don’t want to know any more. ”
“Okay.”
I swallowed hard. I needed to believe they were all better off without me. Because I was better off without them.
I looked down at Jacob. Isabella was dead. Which meant he was safe. We were safe. Almost. I tucked Jacob’s blanket a little more snuggly. “Is my father still alive?”
“Yes.”
I nodded. And I did a terrible thing as I snuggled back into Miller’s side. As I looked down at the newborn life, I wished my father would die too. That Miller, Jacob, and I would be safe forever. That my past would never catch up to me.
I needed to believe that. Because I didn’t want to leave my son too early. Like my mom had left me. Like my uncle had left me.
I needed to be here for him.