Homecoming - Chapter 5
Sunday
Matt
The chorus of bells made me groan. “Nigel, cut it out.”
“Master Tanner said you’d extra enjoy them this morning. And I’ve been practicing.”
I groaned again. “Tanner’s being a dick.”
“Dick,” Nigel said as more bells chimed.
What? I opened my eyes and I was ass naked in bed. Not again. “What the hell?” I pulled the sheets over me. “I didn’t go to bed naked, Nigel.”
“No you did not.”
“Then why am I naked?”
“You looked uncomfortable, so I helped.”
I needed to get out of this fucking apartment.
I sat up and ran my hand down my face. “Do you have any news from Poppy’s house manager?
” As soon as Nigel dug up some dirt on Poppy, I could get out of this mess I was in.
I was really hoping he’d find something about murders the Pruitts or Cannavaros committed.
Or money they laundered. Or any laws they’d broken would be fine.
It was possible it wasn’t just guilt about Brooklyn holding Kennedy back from embracing us. Maybe it was this crazy thing I’d agreed to with Poppy. Being her fake boyfriend definitely put a damper on being Kennedy’s real boyfriend. I had to fix it as fast as possible.
“It hasn’t been 48 hours yet, Mr. Caldwell. The time will expire tonight. And I will not let you down. It’s our secret mission. Just you and me. We’ll meet in private and everything.”
Right.
“I’ll go draw your bath in the meantime.”
Shouldn’t he be talking to Poppy’s staff in the meantime? “I’m fine, Nigel. I’m just hungry.”
“One second then.” He ran out of the room and returned literally right away pushing in a cart of food. “All your favorites.”
“I can just eat in the dining room with Tanner.”
“Oh, he’s not here this morning. He’s at…worship.” He nodded his head, like he was pleased with what he’d said.
Tanner had almost as much to drink as I did last night. How was he not nursing a hangover? And wait…at worship? “Is Tanner a religious man?” I knew a lot about him, but I hadn’t known that. But it was Sunday and he had already left. It made sense.
“Lots of religions, yes.”
“What does that mean?”
“He’s been through most of them. Not any time recently though.”
I just stared at him.
“Fine, you caught me in a lie! He’s not at worship. I don’t know why I did it. I’ve been bad. Maybe I need to be punished.” He turned a little like he wanted me to smack his butt and smiled up at me.
“No, you’re good, Nigel.”
He sighed. “Very well. Anything else you need this morning?”
“Yeah…where is Tanner?”
“Didn’t I say?” He grabbed his bells. “I think I already said. Bye!” He scurried off without answering my question, his bells jingling along with him.
Well, that was weird. But everything Nigel did was weird.
So it was actually normal. Seriously, I needed to move back to my place.
Hopefully Nigel’s schedule would open up sooner than next year.
I really couldn’t imagine staying here through Thanksgiving.
And Christmas. And New Year’s. And definitely not Valentine’s Day.
I could not, would not , see Nigel on Valentine’s Day.
I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and texted Tanner. I hadn’t told him about Kennedy last night, but I needed his advice now. Before I did something stupid and called her ten times when she’d specifically told me not to.
I stood up and looked around for my clothes. It looked like Nigel had taken them. Hopefully to clean and not to do something weird with. I opened the closet doors.
“Oh, and Mr. Caldwell?” Nigel said and walked back into the room.
Jesus. I jumped behind the closet door so he couldn’t stare at me naked anymore. “What, Nigel?”
“This arrived for you late yesterday evening.” He walked into the room, not caring at all that I was trying to hide from him in the closet, and handed me the manila envelope.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I don’t know. But I can open it for you.” He pulled out a letter opener from his lederhosen.
Wait, why was he wearing lederhosen again? I decided it was better not to ask. Nigel could do whatever he wanted in his free time. “That won’t be necessary,” I said and grabbed the envelope, holding it in front of my junk.
“Anything else you need? I can spoon-feed you some of the oatmeal.”
“I’m seriously good.”
Nigel nodded. “Very well, Master. I mean, Mr. Caldwell. See you for our secret rendezvous tonight at 9 pm. I’ll fax you the details. I mean text. Because I’m a modern day boy. Good day.” He ran out of the room.
Nigel had to be the strangest person I’d ever met. And that was saying something. Since Tanner was one of my best friends.
I opened up the manila envelope and pulled out the contents.
Jesus. It was me and Poppy’s relationship contract.
Mr. Pruitt had said he’d send it over immediately.
I’d been hoping immediately meant like…in a week.
I needed time to figure out what to do with the information Nigel brought me tonight.
I’d just have to plan everything out quickly.
Because there was no way in hell I was signing this thing.
I tossed it onto my bed and picked up my phone when I saw it was blinking.
There was an unread text from Rob. I clicked on it.
“I heard Penny thought you liked that D. I’m totally cool with it if you’re gay. Probably cooler than Tanner is. I bet he’s homophobic, don’t you think? He seems like the type. Loser.”
“I’m not gay,” I texted back.
“It’s cool if you are.”
“I’m not.” I hit send and then quickly texted again. “Want to grab brunch?” I went back in my closet to look for something to wear.
“Honestly, man, that sounded really gay. I love that for you.”
“Do you want to grab brunch or not?” I was going to talk to Tanner about this, but since he was at worship or something, Rob could help me out. Besides, Rob was happily married. He probably had better advice anyway. Because as much as Tanner talked about true love, he wasn’t in a relationship.
“Of course I want to grab brunch,” he texted. “As long as we can go to that place with eclairs.”
If I was gay, then so was Rob. “See you there in thirty minutes.”
“Plenty of time to get your makeup on.”
“Go to hell,” I texted back with a laugh.
“Love you too.”
I sighed and turned back to my closet. Which I was still standing in. And yes, I could see the irony in having that whole conversation while I literally stood in my closet because I was hiding from Nigel. I grabbed an outfit and hopped out of the closet. Damn it, that didn’t make it any better.
***
Rob slid into the booth across from me. “You look like shit.”
“Yeah, I know.” I took a sip of coffee and then looked down at my phone again. There was still no text or call from Kennedy. “I need some advice.”
“Okay…” Rob just stared at me. “You’re freaking me out, what’s going on? Hold that thought, I need pancakes.” He waved over the waitress and ordered way too much food for one person. “Now you have my full attention,” he said when the waitress walked off.
“Why did you order so much food?”
“Because it’s brunch. And all you had was coffee. We’ll share.”
Honestly, sharing plates with him didn’t bother me. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d gone out to eat when someone didn’t think I was gay. Oh wait. No, I remembered. It was when that crazy redhead had set my dick on fire. I’d much rather do this.
“So what’s up?” Rob asked. “No wait, let me guess. Nigel did something weird to you in your sleep.”
Actually yes. He stripped me again. But that wasn’t what I needed to talk about. I had Nigel under control. I think. “It’s about Kennedy.”
“Nigel did something to Kennedy in her sleep?” He looked oddly excited by the thought of that.
“No. I mean…I hope not.” I wouldn’t put sabotage past Nigel. He seemed to want my full attention. But I doubted he had anything to do with why Kennedy had a change of heart last night.
“Wait, does that mean Kennedy slept over last night?” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Rob, just let me get this out, okay?”
He held up his hands. “Sorry. You go.”
How should I put this exactly? I leaned forward so I could lower my voice. “What do you think is the best way to propose to someone who isn’t currently speaking to you?”
“Who isn’t speaking to you?” Rob whispered back.
“Kennedy.”
“You’re going to propose to Kennedy?!” Rob practically yelled.
“Would you lower your voice!”
“I don’t understand why we’re whispering. This is very exciting stuff. I’m gonna call James.”
“No.”
“I already hit the button. He’s on speed dial.”
“What’s up, Rob?” said James.
“Matt is going to propose to Kennedy!”
Oh God. I leaned my head back on the booth and stared up at the ceiling.
“Wow. That was fast,” James said.
It wasn’t just the words, but the way he said them that made my head snap back up. “You think it’s a bad idea?” I asked.
“I just think…well, it doesn’t matter what I think,” James said.
I grabbed the phone out of Rob’s hand. “I care what you think, man.”
James sighed. “Matt, you were a mess last night. With everything about Brooklyn being out in the open… Don’t you think you need to take some time to let the dust settle and not rush into something? We all love Kennedy. But…it just seems a little sudden.”
“Oh, no!” Rob said. “We’re going under a tunnel and the call is breaking up.” He made a bunch of weird noises and then ended the call. “Sorry about that. I thought he’d be more enthusiastic. Let’s call Mason instead!”
“No, stop…” but Rob had already hit Mason on speed dial.
Mason answered in three rings. “What do you want, Rob?” Mason asked with a yawn. “It’s freaking early.”
“Nice to talk to you too. Your brother has big news that he wanted to share with you. He’s going to propose to Kennedy.”
There was a shuffling noise and Mason cleared his throat. “Are you serious? Why are you telling me? Matt, are you there?!”
“I’m here,” I said.
“What the hell? Why did you tell Rob before you told me?”
Okay, this is ridiculous. “I was just asking Rob for advice.”