Homecoming - Chapter 17
Tuesday
Matt
Kennedy was supposed to meet me here fifteen minutes ago. I stared at the menu as Tanner’s questions rolled around in my head.
Could I really propose to someone that wasn’t Brooklyn?
Marry someone that wasn’t Brooklyn?
Have a family with someone that wasn’t Brooklyn?
Have a life without her?
I was still nursing the drink I’d grabbed from the bar. And it was like the wait staff knew not to approach me. They probably assumed I was in a terrible mood because I was being stood up.
They were right. I was in a terrible mood. But not because I’d been stood up. Even though this was Kennedy’s idea, I only half expected her to show. I was in a bad mood because Tanner’s questions had really gotten stuck in my head.
“Matt.”
I stood up too fast, almost knocking over my drink. “Hey.” I smiled at Kennedy and tried to give her a hug. She dodged a little but somehow still got captured in my arms. Her arms stayed firmly at her sides as we finished the world’s most awkward hug.
But right before I pulled back, her arms finally wrapped around me. “I’m sorry, Matt. I’m so sorry.”
I didn’t reply. I just held her.
Yes, Tanner’s questions were still stuck in my head. But this right here? I loved this. I loved having someone that relied on me. It had been a really long time since someone had needed me.
She took a step back and wiped beneath her eyes.
“You look beautiful tonight,” I said. She did. She was wearing a tight black dress and thigh-high black boots. Like she was purposely trying to drive me insane.
“Thanks, Matt.”
I pulled out her chair for her and she sat down.
I quickly sat down too. And then we just stared at each other.
“I’m really surprised you showed up,” Kennedy said.
I laughed. “You’re the one that was late.”
“I know.” She wrapped her arms around herself, as if she was literally holding herself together. “I just…I knew it was going to hurt when I walked in here and you were a no-show.”
I just stared at her. “Kennedy, nothing would have made me miss this dinner.”
She twisted her mouth to the side. “I just figured after that phone call…”
“What phone call?”
“Oh. After that text I guess…”
I shook my head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Her eyebrows raised. “You didn’t hear from someone today?”
“Who exactly are we talking about?”
Her face fell. “I thought…” she pressed her lips together as she fiddled with the bracelets on her wrist. “Nothing. It was my mistake.”
“Kennedy, please just tell me what’s going on. Are you in some kind of trouble?”
“No.” She gave me a tight lipped smiled. “Everything’s fine.”
I could be dense, but I knew enough to know that whenever a woman said everything was fine, it was anything but. “You gotta tell me what’s going on here.”
She looked down at the menu instead of responding.
“Kennedy.” I reached across the table to grab her hand.
“Bonjour!” our waiter yelled.
I jumped and dropped her hand. Why was our waiter yelling at us? I looked over at him. “Nigel? What the hell?”
“Not Nigel! I’m Francois!”
I just stared at him. He was definitely Nigel. In a waiter uniform and a very fake looking mustache. He was also wearing glasses he didn’t need. And his hair was all styled to one side and gelled down in a way that screamed French pervert.
“Do you know each other?” Kennedy asked me.
“I…”
“No,” Nigel said cutting me off. “I have never seen this man in my life.” He put his hand to his chest like he was shocked by the accusation. “I have a way with faces. I’m Francois.”
Kennedy looked back and forth between us. How exactly was I supposed to explain to Kennedy that I was currently living with this psychopath? And why was Nigel’s French accent so impeccable?
“Okay…” Kennedy said.
“Can I get the two of you some refreshments? I hear the wine list is fantastique here.” He cleared his throat. “I mean I know it. Because I work here. I’m Francois!”
Why did he keep yelling his fake name? I didn’t know whether to confront him again or just try to ignore it. My train of thought stopped when I caught sight of someone in a corner booth staring at our table over the top of his menu.
He had a big, bushy, fake looking mustache.
His hair was also heavy on the gel, even though it was mostly hidden under a bright red beret.
And he had rounded glasses…instead of his usual square ones.
Yup, that was definitely Tanner. Dressed oddly similar to Nigel even though he was pretending to be a patron and not a fake waiter.
What the hell were they doing here? This was completely insane.
And how had they known what restaurant I was going to? I’d only texted Kennedy about the place a couple hours ago. How had Nigel infiltrated the staff so quickly?
Tanner lifted his menu to hide his face when he realized I was staring at him.
Yeah, I was not going to engage in this. I’d just ignore them. They could spy all they wanted. It wasn’t like they were going to ruin my night. “Just bring us a bottle of whatever,” I said.
“Very well, Master. I mean, sir.” Nigel hurried off.
“I have so many questions,” Kennedy said. She was finally smiling. “Do you know him?”
“You wouldn’t believe the story if I told you.”
She laughed. “Well now I’m dying to hear it.” She put her elbows on the table and leaned forward slightly.
“You know how I’m living with Tanner right now?”
“Yeah.”
“Well don’t look, but Tanner is dressed like an enthusiastic French diner over in the corner booth…”
She turned to look.
“I said don’t look!” I said and grabbed her arm.
She started laughing.
“Bonjour!” Nigel yelled and put two more candles between us on the table, pushing my hand off of Kennedy’s arm. “Candles for our best table!” He put several plates of oil down on the table even though there was no bread to dip it with. And did they even do that at French restaurants?
The candles were meant to scare me. To make me keep my hands on my side of the table. Those bastards knew candles and oil still freaked me out a little after Ash had accidentally set my dick on fire.
“Drinks!” Nigel yelled. “I’ll be back with the drinks!” He ran away.
I shook my head. “And that is Nigel. Tanner’s houseboy.”
Kennedy laughed. “So all this is…”
“I have no idea.”
She smiled. “I think we should try to trick him into admitting he’s Nigel. Whoever can make him confess he’s Nigel first wins.”
“Wins what exactly?”
“Whatever the person wants.”
I knew what I wanted. Her. “Deal. I’d shake on it, but I’m pretty sure he wants me to catch fire.”
Kennedy laughed. “It does appear that way. Did you do something to upset Nigel or something? And did you say that he was Tanner’s houseboy ?”
I did not want to tell Kennedy about Tanner’s bullshit true love thing.
“It’s been a long day. And I really don’t want to get into it.
” A soon as I said the words, I realized I was doing exactly what she was doing.
Keeping secrets. Not sharing. I wanted us to be a team.
I shook my head. “Okay, the real story? And please don’t take any offense to this at all.
Because they’re always doing weird things. ”
“I can tell.” She’d finally snuck at glance at Tanner.
Tanner lifted up his menu again to hide.
“Tanner’s convinced he’s an expert on true love. A matchmaker of sorts. And seriously this means nothing. Because I’ve never seen that guy get any couples together. But he doesn’t think we’re a perfect fit.”
Kennedy pulled her eyebrows together.
“It’s all ridiculous. I know he likes you.
I can’t tell if it’s like a jealousy thing or something?
Obviously us spending time together means I have to spend less time with him.
Rob used to make fun of me all the time when I was dating Brooklyn, but that was just because he missed me.
” I realized a second too late that I’d mentioned Brooklyn.
I was trying really hard not to do that.
But ever since I’d told Penny about her, it just felt normal to talk about Brooklyn again.
And it was a problem, because I was pretty sure that was what kept getting me into messes.
Kennedy shifted in her chair. “So…we’re not true love?”
I cleared my throat. “According to Tanner. But Tanner also presumably thinks that his disguise is working, so his judgement is clearly suspect.”
She smiled.
“I’m pretty sure he lost his mind this weekend. Get this…he was actually planning on setting you up on a date this week.”
Kennedy laughed.
“I seriously wish I was kidding.”
“With who?”
I just shrugged. I knew he was setting her up with Felix. But I wasn’t going to let that happen.
“I guess that’s why he came to my apartment to talk to me yesterday.”
“Wait, what? I specifically asked him not to do that.” But of course he didn’t listen. Why was Tanner being such a dick?
“I didn’t let him up. I was…getting ready for work. But he keeps texting me with really vague messages about needing to speak with me urgently.”
“That was probably about the surprise date.”
“Wait,” Kennedy said. “He didn’t tell you about what he saw at my apartment?”
“No.” I frowned. “I thought you said you didn’t let him up.”
“I didn’t. I…” she looked over at Tanner. “I don’t understand why he didn’t tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
“Wine!” Nigel yelled.
I looked up at him as he searched his apron for a corkscrew. But he sighed when his hands came up empty. Then reached behind himself and pulled out a sword.
Where the hell did he get a sword?! I scooted away from him as he raised it. Had Nigel finally snapped? I didn’t even know what I meant by finally there. He was clearly just nuts all along.
But he wasn’t threatening me with his sword. He slashed it across the neck of the bottle and perfectly cut off the top. The cork and a bit of glass fell to the ground and a little white wine spilled out over his hand. He slowly poured us each a glass.
“That was very impressive, Nigel,” Kennedy said.
“Thank you. I mean, no! I’m Francois!” He slammed her glass down in front of her.
She burst out into laughter as he walked away. “I win.”
I couldn’t stop laughing either. “That was actually really awesome.”
“Right?”
“But you didn’t win. He has to actually confess that he’s Nigel.”
“He answered to his name though. That’s a confession.”
“Not technically.”
She gaped at me. “No way. I won.”
“No you didn’t,” I said with a laugh. “Just watch and learn.” I tilted my head to the side and cracked my neck.
Kennedy rolled her eyes at me.
But she wouldn’t be rolling her eyes when Nigel came back over and confessed his true identity.
“I didn’t expect you to show up tonight,” she said. “And I definitely didn’t expect to be laughing so hard the entire time.”
I smiled at her.
“It’s a shame that we’re not a perfect match,” she said. “I pictured it, you know?”
“You’re not seriously believing Tanner?”
“No. I’m not believing Tanner. I’m just…” she shrugged. “Technically I’m allowed to be here. I’m allowed to love you. But I can’t help but think that maybe there is a perfect match for you , you know?”
“For me? What about you?”
“I think I’m kind of used to being alone. God,” She rested her chin in her hands. “This whole thing is so messy. I can’t undo any of it. And I don’t want to. The damage is done.”
“Because you love me,” I said, flashing her my cockiest grin.
“Oh, shut up, Matt.” She tossed her napkin at me.
And it was like I was having a flashback. It flew so close to the candles and I couldn’t help it… A high-pitched scream filled the dining room. I knew it was me. But it still surprised me when I heard it.
Kennedy burst out laughing when the napkin didn’t set on fire and hit me in the chest. “What was that?”
“You know what happened to me!”
She started laughing harder.
I tossed the napkin on the table and walked over to her. I grabbed her and pulled her to her feet, cradling her face in my hands.
“Maybe we’re not a perfect match, Kennedy” I said. “Maybe we’re an imperfect one. But it’s the imperfect things in life that make it memorable, right?” I didn’t wait for her to respond. I leaned down and kissed her.
And she didn’t push me away this time. She kissed me back.
My nose brushed against hers as she slowly pulled back.
“Well, this night has certainly been memorable,” she said.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nigel pick up a bottle of champagne from a nearby table. But he didn’t seem interested in the champagne, because he just tossed it over his shoulder and picked up the ice bucket that it had been in. What is he doing?
Kennedy must have seen me watching him, because she turned to look at him just as he tossed the ice right in our faces.
Yup, I was going to kill him.
But Kennedy was laughing so hard.
“Nigel, what the fuck?” I said, but I was laughing too. I wiped the water out of my eyes.
“I thought you were on fire. And the name is Francois!”
I started laughing harder. “Cut it out, Nigel.” I reached out and tore his fake mustache off.
He screamed at the top of his lungs. “My mustache! What have you done?! You’ve ruined Francois’ signature style!”
“The jig is up, Nigel,” Tanner said and removed his beret. “We’ve been caught.”
I just laughed because it was all I could do. “Is anyone else craving pizza?”
“Yeah, let’s get out of here,” Kennedy said through her laughter.
“Us too?” Nigel asked.
“Oh, the night has barely even begun,” Kennedy said and grabbed the discarded bottle of champagne. It was a miracle that it hadn’t shattered.
She wanted to hang out with all of us instead of eating in this stuffy restaurant with the terrible service. Even though she knew Tanner didn’t believe in our relationship. And that Nigel was a crazy person. But it didn’t matter, because they were my friends, and she got that.
Tanner sighed. “Why does she have to be so lovely?”
She really was. Kennedy fit in my life. And I wasn’t letting her go.