Homecoming - Chapter 30 #2
He looked almost exactly the same. Just a more grown-up version.
More domineering, if that was even possible.
And his similarities to Matt made my throat feel dry.
The same chocolate brown eyes. The same dirty blonde hair.
The wide shoulders. It was like I was standing in front of Matt instead of Mason.
And my stupid heart started racing even faster.
And I wanted to slap him even though he wasn’t Matt.
Or maybe my heart wasn’t racing. Maybe it was breaking all over again.
It wasn’t even Matt and I could feel the tears coming to my eyes.
I could hear him laughing in that pool all over again.
Living happily without me. I felt like a stupid teenager staring at a boy who would never love me back.
“You look just like someone I used to know,” Mason said. He shook his head. His face had grown pale. Like he was literally seeing a ghost. And I guess he kind of thought he was.
“It’s me,” I said.
He shook his head. Blinked again. “Brooklyn?”
I nodded.
“But you’re…you…” his voice trailed off.
“Mason, I’m so sorry,” I said.
And then he closed the distance between us and pulled me into his arms. He hugged me so tightly I could barely breathe. “Sis,” he whispered.
I don’t think I would have heard it if his lips weren’t right next to my ear.
I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I used to love when he called me that.
But I didn’t deserve that nickname now. I wasn’t sure how long we stood in the middle of the sidewalk like that.
But I didn’t want to let go. Mason had been like the brother I never had.
He’d always looked out for me. He’d had my back. And I’d missed him so much.
Mason finally pulled back. “How is this possible?”
“It’s a really long story.”
Mason looked toward the front doors of MAC International. “I’m guessing you’re here to see Matt,” he said. “I was just going up. You can tell us the story together. Or…maybe I should let you go alone. Matt and I were going to have lunch. I’ll call him and tell him I got held up.”
“Wait, you don’t work here?”
He shook his head. “No, this was always Matt’s dream. Not mine.”
“Yeah.” It was. Mason being the heir to this company was one of the reasons my father wanted me to be with him rather than Matt. But my father was wrong about most things.
Mason pulled out his phone to call Matt.
“Stop. I can’t,” I said. My heart hadn’t stopped pounding.
I needed more time. I couldn’t do this. Seeing Mason made me realize just how hard this was going to be.
It wasn’t a matter of slapping Matt and walking away.
My mind was racing. I felt like I’d slap him and kiss him and slap him again.
And then cry for hours and tell him to fuck off.
I needed to calm down. I needed more time.
And as soon as I thought it, I heard the clock ticking down in my head.
Just like it always did when something bad was about to happen.
I took a step back from Mason. “I’m so sorry, I can’t. I can’t…” I’d promised everyone I’d do this. I had to do this. “I can’t breathe.” I hadn’t had a panic attack in years back home. And now that I was back, it was like they were plaguing me all over again.
Mason grabbed my hand and pulled me into the restaurant next to Matt’s building. He found us an empty booth, told a waitress to fuck off, and ran his hand up and down my back.
“Breathe,” he said. He kept rubbing my back. “Just breathe.”
I closed my eyes and imagined being back home. I pictured being on the lake with Miller. The sun shining on my face. It was like I could hear his laughter in my head. I hoped that never went away. I hoped I’d always be able to hear him.
Mason shot off a text. And I prayed that he wasn’t telling Matt to come meet us here.
I pulled my knees into my chest and stared up at him. “I know I have to talk to him. I promised James and Rob…”
“James and Rob knew you were alive this whole time?”
“What? No.” I shook my head. God, the last thing I needed was to cause a rift between the Hunters and Caldwells again. “My son ran into Scarlett on Monday at the zoo and…”
“You have a son?” He looked down at my hand. “You’re married? How the fuck could you marry someone else?” He pulled his hand off my back.
“Mason…”
“Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt him?”
I wiped the tears from beneath my eyes. “You don’t understand.”
“I think I understand completely. You were alive and you stayed away…”
“That’s not the whole story.”
He just stared at me.
So I told him. I told him all of it. And when I got to the part about Matt in the pool with James’ sister I couldn’t stop crying. Because I was talking to Mason. No one knew Matt better than he did. And he was staring at me like I was heartless.
I heard Kennedy defend Matt. I heard James. I heard Penny and Rob. But seeing Mason’s face? It was like I finally believed I’d gotten everything wrong.
But it didn’t change anything. I couldn’t change the past. And even if I could…I didn’t want to. It had been a long time since I’d thought I was a monster. But I felt like one right now. I felt like a Pruitt.
“I’m going to tell him,” I said. “I swear I am. I just need…”
“You’ve already robbed Matt of 16 years, Brooklyn. I’m not going to let you rob him of any more.”
I clenched my jaw to make my bottom lip stop trembling.
“And you’re out of time. If you don’t talk to him now, you’re going to miss your chance.”
“Miss my chance at what?”
“The life the two of you always should have had.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want that life.”
“Are you sure about that?”
I pressed my lips together.
“You better be damn sure. Because he’s finally ready to move on. He’s waited 16 years for you. And if you won’t tell him to wait another day, I’m not going to tell him either. He deserves happiness too.”
“You mean with Kennedy?”
Mason nodded.
“But that’s what I want,” I said. “I want them to be happy.”
“I think we both know that isn’t true. If you didn’t have feelings for him, you’d already be up there telling him your story instead of telling it to me. You’re avoiding him because you still love him.”
I shook my head. That’s what Miller had said in his letter.
That a piece of me still loved Matt. I didn’t want that to be true.
I really, really didn’t. But…what if it was?
Why else would seeing Mason have affected me like this?
Why was I panicking about seeing Matt? Why couldn’t I make myself go up to his office right now?
“I think Kennedy really likes him,” I said. “And I don’t want to interfere.”
“But what if you wait and don’t interfere? What if they move forward and then you realize you do still love him? What then? Every second you wait this situation gets messier and messier. You have the power to fix everything.”
I shook my head. “I don’t. Even if I did still like Matt, which I’m not saying I do, that would devastate Kennedy. She’s the only friend I…”
“Think twice before ending that sentence, sis.”
I smiled at him. “You can’t call me that anymore.”
“I think I might still be able to.”
I sighed. “I will always love my husband.”
“If there’s one thing I learned in the past few years…our hearts are bigger than we realize, Brooklyn.”
I swallowed hard. Not that big. I’d had a great love. A once in a million kind of love. And it was enough for me. I’d carry that with me always.
Mason looked down at his phone. “I really hate to cut our time short, but I really do need to meet Matt for lunch. He seems to be having his own crisis that he needs my help with.”
That didn’t sound good. “Please don’t tell him I’m back. I need to do it in person.”
“I won’t say a word, Brooklyn…”
“Thank you.”
“You didn’t let me finish,” he said. “I’ll keep your secret for the rest of the weekend. Matt’s busy and he needs to focus. But if you haven’t told him by Monday, then I’m going to.”
I exhaled slowly. Today I’d talk to my dad. Tomorrow I had the football game. Which meant that Sunday I’d talk to Matt. I could do that. I had to do that. “Thank you, Mason.”
“I’m really glad you’re okay.”
I wouldn’t say I was okay. I was a mess. But I knew what he meant. He was glad that I was alive. I think I was still coming to terms with that myself. Because it wasn’t me that should still be here. It was my husband.