Exposed - Chapter 12
Sunday
Brooklyn
Matt hadn’t texted me back. I was pretty sure he was upset about me breaking a promise. And I’d broken two. First marriage. First child. I knew why he wasn’t texting me back.
When Tanner arrived to watch Jacob, I told him I no longer needed a babysitter.
But Tanner told me that Matt had just accidentally slept in. That he was definitely coming. I wasn’t sure that was true though. Because I’d been standing on this bridge like an idiot for ten minutes.
I stared out at the ducks swimming in the water. I remembered Matt getting on one knee and pulling out a hotdog. I smiled. He’d asked me to be his girlfriend instead of proposing.
Maybe Matt forgot about our time here. Maybe he didn’t even know what I was referring to when I said to meet at our spot in Central Park. Maybe I’d had it all right the first time. That he’d forgotten all about me. For years, I’d believed I was forgettable. I’d felt forgettable to him.
Standing on this bridge with Matt that first time was a great memory.
One of my favorites. But I also remembered that later that day, I broke up with Matt.
We hadn’t even lasted one day as boyfriend and girlfriend.
Because I’d still been his dirty little secret.
And he didn’t stand up for me when I needed him.
Matt always had a bad habit of not showing up when I needed him.
But I still waited.
I waited another five minutes until I knew in my heart he wasn’t coming. I’d mourned Matt like he was dead. And I knew Matt thought I was actually dead. But his ghost had haunted me too. God, and now that I remembered what he smelled like… I closed my eyes and imagined breathing in his exhales.
“Brooklyn.”
I spun around.
“I’m sorry, I slept in. And then the traffic was terrible. I had to run part of the way here.” His hair was slightly matted to his forehead. And his chest rose and fell as he caught his breath. “I also had to stop and get these.” He smiled and handed me a hotdog.
He did remember. I wasn’t forgettable. And he wasn’t a ghost, he was here. He showed up for me.
“I thought maybe you wouldn’t show,” I said.
“A long time ago, this girl taught me that I always needed to show up for the people that matter.”
I couldn’t hide my smile.
“And you matter, Brooklyn.”
“Thank you.” He mattered too. But I kept my mouth closed. I was so used to thinking about him in the past tense. I didn’t know how to let him back in.
We both just stood there staring at each other.
“Do you come here often too?” I asked. “Like you go to the graveyard?” I quickly shook my head. “Actually, don’t answer that. I’ve seen a picture.” I looked over at the restaurant. I’d seen the pictures of him with Poppy. He’d taken her to the place where we were meant to get married.
“What picture?”
“Of you and Poppy.” I swallowed hard. Matt was the only person that could ever make me feel so important one moment and then so invisible the next. I knew he was stuck in some sort of situation with Poppy. James had told me as much. But…why had he brought my evil cousin here of all places?
Matt closed the distance between us. “There is no me and Poppy. I’m pretending to date her because I owe James.
I’ve been a really shitty friend over the years.
Your dad showed you pictures of me being friends with James and Rob again.
And I was but…not in the same way as before.
I just…needed them. Because I didn’t want to lose anyone else.
And I knew it was what you wanted. For us to all be friends again.
But I hated them too. It was easier to blame James and Rob about what happened instead of myself. ”
“It was none of your fault.”
“I know.” He reached out and lightly touched the side of my face, like he needed to touch me to believe I was actually standing there.
“I was a mess without you.” His fingers slowly fell from my skin.
“Poppy came to me and threatened James’ daughter.
She told me she wouldn’t touch Scarlett as long as I put on this charade of us dating.
Anything you’ve read or heard, it’s not true.
She chose this restaurant for some weird tabloid photo op.
Probably just to mess with me. I’m not engaged to that psychopath.
But I went along with it because it felt like my chance to make things right.
To stand up for James. To be a good friend for once in my life. ”
“I’m sure you’ve been a good friend.”
He laughed. “Honestly? No, I haven’t. I stopped having James’ back. I let him get so shitfaced that he got married to Wizzy.”
I was so disappointed that James married Isabella. But it wasn’t just Matt’s fault. “Rob also let him do it. So did Mason. And ultimately, that was James’ decision.”
“I think he blamed himself for your death too, Brooklyn. I think he thought Isabella was his punishment. And I let him think it. I didn’t stop him.
I’m a shit friend. And it’s not just that.
I’ve blatantly flirted with James’ new wife in front of his face.
Partially to piss him off. Partially because she reminds me of you.
I think the two of you will get along really well. ”
I nodded. “I think so too. Penny’s really nice. I can’t believe James went to Delaware.” It made my heart hurt a little less. I’d told him that people were nicer there. And he’d remembered.
“All my friends married girls from Delaware. And I resented all of them. I was jealous. Because it should have been us.”
I closed my eyes because it was so hard to see his pain.
Especially because I knew that I’d caused it.
It could have been us. But should it have been?
I’d never trade anything for those years with Miller.
I slowly opened my eyes again. But standing here on this bridge?
Staring at Matt? It kind of felt like falling back in love.
I felt different around him. I felt…younger. Like I was 16 again.
“I’m so sorry for hurting you. I’m so sorry, Matt.”
“Eat your hot dog before it gets cold and I’ll forgive you.”
I laughed. If only it was that simple. But I took a big bite anyway. I sighed. I’d forgotten how good these were.
We stood there in silence eating. Staring at each other. It would have been awkward if I didn’t so badly need to take him in. The new him. His hair was a little darker. His shoulders wider. I remembered waking up being wrapped in his arms. How safe I’d felt.
I remembered once that Kennedy said that Miller looked like a grown up Matt.
They were both tall and strong. But that was where their similarities ended.
I also remembered thinking that Miller was a man and that Matt was just a boy that kept making stupid mistakes.
But Matt wasn’t a boy anymore. And I was pretty sure he’d grown up a lot after he thought I’d died.
Like I’d cut his youth short. Matt was a man. A man I didn’t really know.
I wanted to know the new him. But what if he didn’t like the new me? It was possible that Matt and I were always meant to be….just not meant to last. Because I didn’t just break one promise. I broke two. And I regretted neither. I finished my hot dog and took a deep breath.
“Miller didn’t just die. He was murdered. And I think my father killed him.”
Matt paused mid bite and then cleared his throat like he’d swallowed it down wrong. “What?”
“I don’t know. My father claims he didn’t. He claims it was a rival family. And I’m so dumb, because I thought we were safe in our little bubble. But my father was watching the whole time. I was never safe.”
Matt looked like he wanted to reach out for me, but I held up my hand.
I wanted the comfort of his touch. And I didn’t at the same time.
I just needed to get this out. “The bomb was in my car. And I don’t trust my father, but I also don’t know if he’d ever kill me.
Steal a kidney? Try to ruin my life? Sure.
But murder me?” I started blinking faster.
“The bomb was in my car and we woke up late. I was blocking Miller’s truck in in the driveway.
He was just moving my car and…” I’d already said the rest.
Matt opened his mouth and then closed it again.
“It should have been me,” I said. It should have been me. It should have been me.
This time when Matt pulled me into his arms, I didn’t stop him.
“No,” he whispered into my hair. He ran his hand up and down my back. “No.”
“It’s all my fault…”
“No,” he said more firmly. “That doesn’t help.
Do you have any idea how much I’d wished I’d died instead of you?
Wanting that doesn’t help anything. Don’t think that.
You’re supposed to be here. You’re supposed to be alive, Brooklyn.
You’re supposed to be right here, right now.
” He grabbed both sides of my face so I’d look up at him.
Is that what he thought? That I was supposed to be here with him? Because that’s not how my heart really felt. I was supposed to be back at the lake house with Miller right now.
But I couldn’t have that.
Matt wiped away my tears with his thumbs.
Miller was gone. But I’d never be able to accept that it shouldn’t have been me that died in that car.
Matt wiped away my tears again, before letting his hands fall from my face. “Brooklyn, I don’t know if it was your dad behind it. But I do think I know who might have done it. Poppy. She was just telling me the other day that she loves car bombs…”
“I spoke to Poppy too. She said that we’re family.
That she’d never hurt me. Her story aligned perfectly with my father’s.
She mentioned loving car bombs and that she used one to get revenge for what happened to Miller.
The rival family thing. Like my father said.
She blew up…it begins with an L I think? ”
Matt nodded. “A Locatelli. Yeah. That’s true.
I was trying to dig up dirt against Poppy to get out of this mess I’m in.
And a friend got me the police report about that.
She wasn’t a suspect or anything. But my friend was able to actually get a picture of her placing the bomb under the car.
I can do some digging too, if you want. To see what I can find out. ”
“Tanner is already looking into it. I like him. He’s really nice.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy. And he’s probably who I would have asked to do the digging anyway.”
I nodded. “Do you believe Poppy?”
“She’s manipulative. When I first met her, she didn’t seem quite as bad as Isabella. But I’m not sure anymore.” He shook his head. “Honestly, I think she kind of lost it when you came back to town. She’s hellbent on taking over for Mr. Pruitt.”
“Yeah, I think my dad expected me to take over when I came back. But I shut that down right away. And I know it’s not fair to judge her…
just because she looks like Isabella doesn’t mean she’s like Isabella.
But I don’t believe her when she says she’d never hurt me.
Because she sure wanted to rub her relationship with you in my face. ”
“There is no relationship.”
“I know.” I bit my lip as I looked up at him. “I’m just worried.”
“I’m not going to let anyone ever hurt you again, Brooklyn.”
I stared at him. I wasn’t really worried about me. I was worried about my son. Specifically, if something happened to me…would he be forced to live with my father just like I had? I didn’t want my father to ruin Jacob’s life. My will was iron clad. But I’m sure my uncle thought his was too.
“So that’s what you wanted to talk about?” Matt asked. “Because I’m not worried about your dad. Or Poppy. I’ll deal with them. Honestly, I was planning on seeing your dad today anyway to get this Poppy thing dealt with.”
“I mean, yes, I don’t want to put you in danger.
But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.
” I looked back out at the water. I had believed that I’d stopped loving Matt.
I didn’t think that was true anymore. I think I just let my love for Miller grow stronger.
And if I still loved Matt when I loved Miller?
I could still love Miller even though I loved Matt.
It didn’t have to be either or. “I think I’m still in love with you. ”