Exposed - Chapter 15 #2
“Because we’re having a reverse intervention.” The kids must have been upstairs playing. Which was good. Because there was a good chance I was about to curse.
Rob shrugged and joined everyone else in the room.
So that I was standing alone. I took a deep breath.
Just one to try to calm down. It did not help.
“What the hell is wrong with all of you?” I said.
The four people who didn’t know what was going on all looked confused.
But everyone else looked really guilty. Except for Tanner.
He just shook his head like he’d known what was coming. Since he’d predicted it.
“Matt…” James started.
“You of all people, James. You took Brooklyn’s death almost as hard as me.
Why would you lie to me about her being back?
Why would any of you lie? You should have come to me right away.
And maybe not blindsided me by playing that stupid fucking song at homecoming and making me feel like I was insane. ”
“You’re right,” Nigel said. “It’s not a very good song. I prefer instrumental music.” He wandered over to my side of the room.
“Get back over there,” I said.
“But I’m on your side. I’m not one of the bad friends.”
“Nigel.” I pointed to the couch and he sulked back over.
I looked at James. “Seriously, James. You know how fucked up I was. How fucked up I still am over all this. You just had a freaking intervention for me because you thought I was depressed. So when the one person who could fix me reappeared in the city, you thought it was better to not say a word to me? Did you just want to keep her to yourself?”
James lowered his eyebrows at me. It looked like he was a few seconds away from walking up to me and taking a swing. “I’m happily married, Matt.”
“So rub it in my face why don’t you!”
“You know what I meant! I’m not trying to steal Brooklyn away from you. Are you insane?”
Honestly I kind of felt insane right now.
I saw Penny staring up at James. Did she know that James had a crush on Brooklyn in high school?
Had he filled her in? I’d made him promise not to tell her.
But he’d had time now. And Penny deserved to know the truth.
“He proposed to Brooklyn in high school. Did you know that?” I asked.
Penny folded her arms across her chest and stared at me like she stared at Scarlett when Scarlett was being naughty.
“Yes, he told me. We talked all about Brooklyn after you finally told me about her. And you’re right, James took her death almost as hard as you.
So you of all people can imagine how much pain and stress it’s caused him over the years to not talk about her with anyone.
Especially me. Because you asked him to stay silent.
Because he’s a good friend. And loyal to you.
Like we all are.” She gestured toward the rest of our friends.
“And no, I don’t know Brooklyn very well,” she said, not giving me a chance to talk.
“But her story wasn’t mine to tell. It’s her own.
She needed to tell you in her own way. And we only knew she was back for a few days.
A few days when she had 16 freaking years to explain.
Sixteen years that hurt James too. And Rob.
And Mason. So don’t you dare stand there and yell at my husband for doing his best to be a good friend to you when he’s been struggling too! ”
Penny never shouted at me. Ever.
Mason whistled. Bee elbowed his side.
“You’re supposed to have my back, man,” I said to Mason.
“Brooklyn was outside MAC International when I ran into her. And as soon as she saw me she had a panic attack.”
I winced.
“If she couldn’t handle seeing me yet, she wasn’t ready to see you.”
“No,” Nigel said and joined me by my side. “You’re all terrible friends. You should have told Matt right away. He deserved to know the truth!”
Damn right, Nigel. Wait… “Nigel, you knew too and didn’t tell me.”
“I did tell you. I told you there was a new player in town. I even had pictures but you didn’t want to see them. Of Poppy and Mr. Pruitt and Brooklyn having a rendezvous.”
“What?”
“Our special night. When we were in the warehouse together. Faxing things.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” Mason said.
“Is that like a sex thing?” Rob asked.
“No,” I said. “We were faxing.”
“In a warehouse?” Rob said. “That definitely sounds like a gay sex thing.”
“There was a fax machine…” my voice trailed off. “It’s not important.”
“But we love fax machines, don’t we Master Matthew?”
“Get back over to that side of the room.”
“But…”
“I’m mad at you too.”
“But…”
“Nigel!”
He sulked back over to the couch.
“Brooklyn’s death hurt me too,” James said.
“You know that. And I wanted to call you right away. I didn’t even know at first. Scarlett and Brooklyn’s son hit it off at the zoo.
Penny had no idea it was Brooklyn when she invited them over to our house for lunch.
And as soon as I saw her…I actually did call you.
But Brooklyn convinced me to hang up. To hear her out.
Her dying hurt me too. It really messed me up. ”
I knew that.
“I needed answers just as badly as you. And when I heard her story…I knew you needed to hear it from her. I didn’t want to go behind her back when she only just came back into our lives. We already lost her once.”
“It’s funny,” Rob said. “I invited you over here that day. It was hotdog day and I was coming for lunch. Remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“This could have all been prevented if you had a more flexible work schedule like me. And you can’t be mad at me, Matt.
They were already all sworn to secrecy when I walked in here and saw her.
And why are we even fighting right now?” He smiled.
“Sanders is back. Shouldn’t we be celebrating? Shouldn’t she be here for the game?”
They all stared at me, waiting for me to respond. I cleared my throat. “We had a fight.”
Tanner sighed. “What did you do?”
“What did I do? She got married. She has a kid. She broke all her promises to me.”
“But she thought you moved on,” Penny said. “She saw you.”
I knew that. I knew this was somehow all my fault. Because I didn’t mourn the way Brooklyn mourned. And that wasn’t fair. So what that I fucked Jen? It meant nothing. Brooklyn hadn’t given me a chance to tell her that. She just ran away. She left me to fucking drown.
“She had a kid with someone else,” I said again. Like saying it again might make me believe it. Might make the pain in my chest less intense.
“But you’re great with kids,” Penny said. “You just told me you want a big family.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Because Penny wanted a big family too and she couldn’t have any more kids.
And it didn’t really matter that Brooklyn’s son wasn’t my blood.
Because he was her blood. I looked down at my shoes.
I’d meant what I said to Mr. Pruitt. I was going to marry Brooklyn.
And I was going to adopt her son. She just didn’t know any of that yet because I hadn’t gotten a chance to calm down.
“We both know what you said,” Tanner said calmly.
“How do you know what I said?”
“Because I spoke to Brooklyn right after…”
“Stop interfering in my life, Tanner! How many fucking times do I have to tell you that!”
“I kind of want to know what he said to her,” Rob said.
Tanner turned to him. “He told her that she broke all her promises. That she had Stockholm syndrome when she got married. And that her son’s father was a mobster.”
Penny looked so disappointed in me.
“And then she slapped him.”
“Well that’s good,” Rob said. “Sounds like he deserved that one.”
I glared at him.
“Oh it gets better,” Tanner said. “Then she said he didn’t keep his promises either. That he whored around New York.”
Rob laughed.
“Then she told him to go to hell. He told her to run away like she always does.”
Fuck, I did say that. Why the hell had I said that?
“And she told him to fuck away his pain, like he always does.”
Rob laughed again. “So accurate. Does that mean she’s not coming to the game today then?”
“No.” I shoved my hands into my pockets. “I doubt she’s speaking to me at all.”
“The Stockholm syndrome thing isn’t that off base,” James said. “She was locked up with that guy.”
Penny shook her head. “ That guy was her husband, James. That’s like saying we’re only together because you were my authority figure and took advantage of me. Come on.”
“I mean…he kind of did,” Rob said.
“Stop it, Rob.” She turned back to me. “And I get that you’re hurting, Matt, but really?
Brooklyn thought you moved on, so she moved on.
It happened. No one can change it. And telling her that her love wasn’t real isn’t going to fix anything.
It’s just going to make her loss feel worse. She’s hurting. She…”
“You think I don’t know that? It kills me that she’s hurting. But it kills me that she’s thinking about another guy when I try to console her. She doesn’t want me anymore. She wants him.”
“That’s not it exactly,” Tanner said. “It’s more that she feels guilty for wanting you to be her shoulder to cry on. She feels like she’s betraying Miller. More so because her feelings for you are so strong.”
I hated that she was talking to Tanner instead of me.
“There was one more thing she said…right?” He just kept staring at me when I didn’t fill in the blank for everything. “She still loves you, Matt. And you still love her. So what are you doing yelling at us? Go to her. ”
Rob laughed at the way he said ‘ go to her. ’
“I think she needs some time to cool down,” I said.
“That’s the problem with time,” Tanner said. “For most people there’s never enough of it. And for some there’s too much.”
What the hell did he mean by that?
Tanner sighed, grabbed the remote, and turned on the football game even though I knew he wasn’t really going to watch it. But it meant that he was done with this conversation.
Tyler cleared his throat. “So…um…who’s Brooklyn?”
James looked over at me, like he was wondering if I’d tell the story.
“Come on,” Penny said and grabbed my arm. “Sit down and relax for a bit. Tell us more stories. And maybe we can all strategize on how you can win her back.”
“I thought we agreed that you’re a terrible matchmaker. And aren’t you mad at me? You just stern talked me in your mom voice.”
“Only because you yelled at James. This is a messy situation, but I really think we can figure out a way to fix it.”
I nodded. I needed all the help I could get.
My stomach was twisted up in knots. My chest hurt as much as it did those first few months after Brooklyn’s death.
I felt physically sick. I wanted Brooklyn back.
And that meant I needed to come to terms with what she’d done in her absence.
What I’d done. How much we’d both messed up.
Especially since Brooklyn wasn’t willing to admit that what she’d done was a mistake. I think that’s what hurt the most.