Forever - Chapter 21 #2
But she had it all wrong. I loved every version of her more and more. I was pretty sure the pregnant version of her was going to be my new favorite.
I ran my fingers through her hair. And two minutes into the movie she started lightly snoring. I barely paid attention to the movie. I just kept running my fingers through her hair and staring down at her. How did I get so fucking lucky?
A knock on the door made Brooklyn open her eyes. “Did I fall asleep?” she said with a yawn.
“And almost woke up the whole house with your snoring.”
“I did not.” She lightly slapped my thigh and pushed herself up.
The knock sounded on the door again.
“I can’t wait to see this,” Brooklyn said.
I opened the door. Rob was standing there. Without a monkey.
He smiled and walked in. “Would you look at that? I’m first. Early even. I think that makes up for earlier, don’t you think? You should just crown me best man now.”
“Rob, where is your monkey?”
“What monkey?” Rob asked.
“The monkey I gave you to take care of.”
“Oh.” He laughed. “That monkey.” But he didn’t offer any more information.
There was another knock on the door. Tanner and Nigel walked in with their monkeys in tow. And Mason and James showed up right after.
I turned back to Rob. “Where is your monkey?” I asked again.
“What monkey?” Rob asked, like we hadn’t just been over this.
“Where is it?” I said again.
“It’s fine,” Rob said with a laugh.
“But where is it?”
“Well. Funny story…” his voice trailed off as he stared at the TV.
The movie had ended and the news had turned on. A red banner was scrolling along the bottom of the screen that said: “Monkey terrorizing downtown Manhattan.” And there was footage of a monkey running down a sidewalk throwing trash at people and grabbing their butts.
What the fuck?
A reporter on the sidewalk started talking. “As you can see, the monkey is groping…”
“Nothing to see there,” Rob said as he grabbed the remote and switched off the TV.
“Was that your monkey?” I asked.
“I mean…I don’t know if there’s any way to tell. That could be anyone’s monkey.”
“Well, did you lose your monkey?”
“Did I lose my monkey?” Rob laughed. “Um. Yes. Yes, I did do that.”
Brooklyn burst out laughing. “You guys are ridiculous. Shouldn’t you go catch that monkey or something?”
“We should let the professionals handle that,” Rob said. “That monkey is way too handsy. Or…my monkey was way too handsy. I don’t know if that was my monkey on the TV.”
“It was groping people,” James said with a laugh. “That’s definitely your handsy little monkey.”
“Well don’t look at me. It’s not like I taught him to grab ass. He was born that way.”
Tanner cleared his throat. “As you can see, I took the best care of my monkey. Look at this. Blow a kiss.”
The monkey blew me a kiss.
How the hell did he teach him to do that?
“Well, my monkey is asleep,” Nigel said. “He’s very docile. Look.” He held up his sleeping monkey. “I’m clearly the best at caring for the animals. Like I’m the best at caring for peoples.”
His monkey was definitely knocked out. And I was a little suspicious that he’d drugged it. Like he’d drugged me that one time when I was “hysterical.”
“Tanner wins,” I said.
“Yes!” Tanner put his fist in the air and his monkey did the same. “I believe that means I’m the best man. I won the most tasks. Matt, I will not let you down.” He rubbed his hands together. “I’ve got everything covered. This is going to be the best day of your life.”
“You absolutely did not win,” Rob said. “And Matt definitely doesn’t want you beside him in all those wedding pictures. He wants his best friend. Me.”
“Wait, there’s…pictures?” Tanner asked.
“Yeah, man,” I said. I was confused about why he seemed surprised about this. He’d been to weddings before.
“Oh.” He laughed. “Like pictures you’re keeping very private? And not on display? And that you’ll burn upon your death?”
“Um…no,” I said. “We’ll get some printed out for the house. We’ll print out some for you too. And everyone in the wedding party. And my parents of course…”
“No,” Tanner said.
“No you don’t want pictures?”
“No, I don’t want you to take pictures.”
“We’re taking pictures at our wedding, Tanner,” Brooklyn said. “Everyone takes pictures at their wedding.”
“Well I…I didn’t know that,” he said.
“How could you not know that?” I asked.
He cleared his throat. “Because I grew up overseas.”
He used that excuse all the time. But it made zero sense.
He cleared his throat again. “So the privacy settings and burning of pictures isn’t up for negotiation?”
Brooklyn and I looked at each other. “No,” I said.
He sighed. “Well, I have to respectfully step down from the best man competition.” He looked devastated. “I need to be on the edge of every picture.”
“Why?”
“So I’m easily removable.”
Rob laughed. “See. Barely a friend. He wants to be removed. Perfect. Put him on the end. And I’ll be right next to my best friend.” He clapped me on the back.
I was so confused. Tanner had been dead set on being my best man. What was going on?
“I also need to regretfully decline being the best man,” Nigel said.
“Why?” I asked.
“I do not like being photographed. I will also be on the edge of the photo so I can easily cut both Master Tanner and myself out of the picture upon your d…”
“Shh,” Tanner said.
“Right,” Nigel said. “But I never wanted to be the best man anyway. Because I already have my title.” He smiled. “I’m the best boy!”
Brooklyn laughed. And for some reason I laughed too. Okay, Nigel.
“Great,” Rob said. “Mason and James weren’t participating, so it’s me, right? I’m the best man? Fuck yes!”
“Actually…” my voice trailed off and I looked over at Mason.
Mason smiled.
“Mason, I asked you 16 years ago, and I’m asking you again. Will you be my best man?”
“What?!” Rob yelled.
“Yes,” Mason said. “I won’t even make you beg.”
I laughed.
“No,” Rob said. “I’m your best friend. Even Tanner admitted…”
“I didn’t admit to anything,” Tanner said. “I just don’t want there to be photographic evidence…”
Nigel elbowed him in the side.
“Right.” Tanner nodded. He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I have nothing else to say.”
I had no idea what was going on. “And James, Rob, Tanner, and Nigel, I’d love for you guys to be my groomsmen,” I said.
James nodded. “Of course, man.”
“No,” Rob said. “I’m the best man.”
“Rob, you can stand right next to Mason,” I said.
Rob smiled. “Deal. That still makes me the best friend. Since Mason is your brother. And you were always going to ask me to be your number two, right? Even without whatever the hell is going on with Tanner being scared of cameras?”
I actually didn’t know. And I was happy I didn’t have to make that choice. Tanner and Nigel had made it easy on me. And I wondered if that’s what they were doing. Because they really were good friends. I smiled at Tanner.
He shrugged like it was no big deal.
But it was. And I appreciated it. I’d appreciate it even more if he didn’t cut up all my wedding photos though.