Stalker Problems - Chapter 54 - Gray Sweatpants GIFs
Chastity reached out again to honk my knockers.
“Would you stop it?” I successfully swatted her away this time. “Seriously…what are you doing?”
“That’s not a rule.”
“I told you there were some new ones since you were last single. Did you even bother to read the list I gave you?”
No. I had not. “Why would you add that one?”
“How many times do I have to tell you? I didn’t make these rules up.
But I’m pretty sure it was added as a precaution since so many people are fluid now or something.
It goes against the spirit of the Single Girl Rules for a girl to flirt with a girl who doesn’t know the other girl is a lesbian, you know? ”
“Sure.” I honestly had stopped listening to what she was saying. I was so damned nervous! “I can’t believe you think this is going to be fun. I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous in my life. There’s like a 100% chance that I’m going to trip and fall down the stairs while handing out an award.”
“You’ll be fine. You just have to stand there and look pretty. I’m the one who has to do all the hard work. How do my boobs look?” She reached into her bra and adjusted the girls.
“Amazing as always.”
She smiled. “Well good. I wasn’t sure because you didn’t squeeze them. It makes me feel better that you just didn’t know about the new rule. Let’s hope the winners agree with you!”
“Places! Places everyone!” yelled Ocelot. “We’re on in 60 seconds!”
Everyone scrambled to get in place.
“You got this,” said Chastity. “You look totally droolworthy. Tanner won’t be able to take his eyes off of you all night. And then when he sees you with someone else…” She mimed her head exploding.
“Wait, Tanner is gonna be watching?!”
“Of course. I assume anyone who’s anyone in the Society will be here tonight. Who knows…he might even be up for an award.” She gave me a hug and ran to her side of the stage.
Fantastic. Now I was a billion times more nervous than I had been.
I took a deep breath. Here we go.
I walked to my place behind a semi-circular wall just as a stagehand delivered a tray of…
giant onyx dildos, complete with thick veins.
They were made out of some shiny black metal and each was the size of a Febreze can.
No. Bigger. I’d thought Dr. Lyons was big, but these dwarfed him.
Hell, these even dwarfed Angel and Diablo.
“Impressive, eh?” said the guy who’d delivered them. “Apparently they were actually cast from one of our members, but I’d have to see it to believe it.” He carefully polished each with a cloth and then sped off to his next assignment.
I tried to run through my script again, but one thought kept rolling around in my head. Was Tanner the model for these awards?
Because if he was, then it might explain some of his behavior. Maybe he was terrified of tearing me in two. After all, I was only 5’2. I hated to quote Chastity, but she was right. That really would be a lot of meat for such a little girl.
“Ladies and gentleman,” boomed the announcer as the stage lit up. “Put your hands together for the imperator of Club Onyx NYC… Pink Ocelot!”
He made his way out onto the stage to thunderous applause.
Wow. Ocelot had said it was 400 people. But it sounded like thousands. There was currently a wall blocking off my part of the stage though, so I couldn’t tell for sure.
“Thank you, thank you. Thank you all.”
The crowd eventually settled down.
“Wow. What a year,” said Ocelot. “I know you’re all probably expecting a big dance number or some sort of Broadway reenactment, but this year, I’m just going to keep it simple.
And who knows…maybe I have a sexy little surprise waiting for you all at the end.
So with absolutely no ado, let’s get right to the awards. ”
The circular wall in front of me rotated to reveal the crowd. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. It was SO. MANY. PEOPLE. They were all seated around tables like some sort of fancy wedding reception. And all looking at me.
Actually, they were probably looking at the monster dildo trophies behind me. But it still felt like they were staring at me.
I tried to pick out Tanner in the audience, but the lights were blinding. I could only see silhouettes.
“As always,” said Ocelot, “we’ll begin with the award for Best Ass. The nominees are…” He read a list of 5 girls while their pictures appeared behind him. The only one I recognized was Frankie. “And the winner is…” Ocelot tore into an envelope. “Frankie!”
The crowd cheered while the spotlight searched for her in the audience. Eventually it found her making her way towards the front.
Ah! This is my moment! I ran through the script in my head.
Stand and smile. Clap politely. Grab award.
Give award to winner and kiss their cheek.
Go back to standing and smiling. Shit! I’m not clapping politely.
I was already failing. I started clapping way too loud and then dialed it back to an appropriate level.
Then I reached for one of the awards. I tried to wrangle it with one hand right at the base, but it was kind of slippery and so damned heavy that I couldn’t get any purchase. My hand just slid right up. I slid it back down to try again…
Someone in the crowd chuckled.
Oh, shit. I was basically jerking off a giant dildo in front of the entire crowd. I awkwardly looked around and then picked it up with both hands.
“You’re doing great,” whispered Frankie as she took the award from me.
Was I? Because I had definitely forgotten to kiss her cheek.
Or more accurately - I’d actively chosen not to.
I wasn’t a 50-year-old European man or Joe’s dad at a Christmas Eve party, so cheek kisses weren’t really something I was comfortable with.
And actually, Joe’s dad was more a fan of mouth kisses.
I wasn’t into those with creepy old men either.
Frankie got to the podium and looked at the award. “Wow. Wow!”
The crowd cheered.
“Thank you all so much for this honor. I prepared a few words…” She reached into her bra and pulled out a slip of paper.
Just as she was about to start reading it slipped out of her hands.
“Damn. One sec…” She turned and bent over to get it in like…
the most sexual way possible. And then a beat dropped and she started twerking in her evening gown.
That really got the crowd excited. She even got a few whistles.
I had to admit - it was a good move. I mean…how else should a girl accept an award for best ass? Props to Frankie. God knows I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do that.
The second award was for Best New Room. Ocelot gave the award to himself for his work on the sky box. Whatever the hell that meant.
Then some guy won best role-player. Chastity kept giving me a look that said, “You gonna fuck him?” I shook my head. Let’s just say he was lucky to be good at roleplaying, because his face was kinda busted.
“The next award goes to the member who brought in the most quality members throughout the last year. Four members recruited 100 plus members…but only one can win the award.” Frankie was a nominee. So was Ryder Storm. And…Ryder won it. Because of course he did, the little whore.
The spotlight searched the ballroom for him, but it couldn’t find him.
Come on, you promiscuous asshole! Show your face and come get your award. I had half a mind to whack him across the face with it. It would serve him right for recruiting over a hundred freaking women. Or maybe I was being too harsh. Maybe he’d just recruited me and a bunch of dudes.
“It appears Ryder couldn’t make it tonight,” said Ocelot. “But I think we can all agree that he really brought in some top-notch women.”
A bunch of guys cheered.
Gross.
I looked over at Chastity. She mouthed, “I’m sorry.”
I wanted to have more of a silent conversation about it, but Ocelot was moving on to the fifth award.
“This past year, I challenged all of you to create the best gif of someone wearing gray sweatpants. And let me just say…you all delivered spectacularly. Let’s take a look at the five finalists.” The wall behind Ocelot turned into a movie screen.
The first gif was a quick clip of two men in gray sweatpants running side by side on treadmills.
They might as well have been naked, because their sweatpants did absolutely nothing to hide the outline of their cocks swinging around.
And they were huge. Like…Angel and Diablo big.
Which made sense. Because when I finally bothered to look up at their faces, I realized that the swinging trouser snakes did indeed belong to Angel and Diablo.
Sweet lord. I knew gray sweatpants season was fun, but I’d never seen it like this. Their cocks were just as big as I remembered. Did someone suddenly turn the heat on in here?
Then an idea hit me: Maybe I should make Tanner jealous with them… No! I couldn’t. Last time I’d seen them I’d called them rapists and ran away screaming. It would be incredibly awkward to have to hand them one of these trophies. Or would I give them each one? Ahhh!
The next gif featured a blonde guy who looked vaguely familiar.
No, not Dr. Lyons or his alter ego Flint Ironside.
But still familiar. Anyway, this gif was just him standing there with a huge erection plastered to his leg in his sweatpants.
He gave the camera a little smile and a wink and pulled on his pants to make them even tighter.
First Angel and Diablo and now this blonde dude? Jesus. I looked over at Chastity, but she was too mesmerized by the gifs to notice me.
The next gif was a girl in tight gray sweatpants and a sports bra doing a very jiggly dance. Lame. Next please.
The final two were thankfully back to being gifs of men.
“And the winner is…” Ocelot opened the envelope. “Gif #2 - Karl!”
Karl! Fucking Karl! The pervy dude from the Finnish spa. I knew he looked familiar. But at least I wouldn’t have to deal with Angel and Diablo.
The spotlight found Karl and followed him to the stage. I had to admit, he looked good in his tuxedo. And he looked even better when he stopped at the top of the stairs and ripped his pants off. He was, of course, wearing gray sweatpants underneath. And his penis was very visible.
It swung a little bit as he walked up the stairs towards me.
Shit! I’d been so mesmerized that I’d forgotten to grab his award. I turned and grabbed one of the big onyx dildos as fast as I could. When I spun back around to give it to him, my hand collided with something hard.
“Hey there,” he said. “At least invite me to dinner first.”
Did I just touch his penis? I definitely did. What is wrong with me?! It had been a few weeks since I’d done something rapey. I’d thought I’d outgrown it for a minute there. But nope…I was still a rapist.
I handed him the award and went in for a hug.
At the last second I was like…wtf why am I about to hug him?
So I decided to play it by the book and give him the required kiss on the cheek.
I’d already botched this handoff enough.
It was best to finish strong. But of course I missed and kissed him right on the lips.
Fuck!
Someone in the crowd whistled.
“She likes those sweatpants, Karl!” yelled another.
Kill me now.
He laughed and walked over to give his acceptance speech. I couldn’t pay attention to what he was saying. I was too mortified. Not an incident level mortification, because I was pretty sure the audience was filled with perverts like me. But it was still pretty bad.
Before I knew it Frankie was coming on stage to collect yet another award - this time for Best Breasts.
Damn. Frankie sure was popular with the guys here. I had no doubt that Chastity would be gunning for some of her awards next year.
Speaking of Chastity…
“Where did Chastity go?” whispered Frankie as I handed her the Onyxy.
Yup, I’d just noticed it too. Chastity was missing from her position. “No idea.” Actually, that wasn’t true. I did have some idea of where she had gone. I bet she was chatting up Karl in the green room.
Frankie gave another acceptance speech, and then Ocelot took over.
“We only have one more award left, but the kitchen just informed me that dinner is hot and ready to be served. So let’s take a quick break before we hand out the award you’ve all been waiting for - Best Member.
Oh, and one other quick bit of housekeeping.
The theme for this years’ gif challenge will be promiscuous girlfriends, also known as hotwives.
So grab your girlfriend, find a guy with a big dick, and get the camera rolling. ”
What the hell kind of theme is that? The sweatpants gif challenge was a million times better.
The other Society members didn’t seem to agree with me, though. Especially the women in the crowd. They loudly applauded the announcement as Ocelot walked off stage.
The wall swung back around in front of the awards and I let out the world’s biggest sigh of relief.
I’d done it! I’d survived most of the award ceremony, and I hadn’t fallen on my face.
Yes, I’d groped Karl and tried to make out with him.
But both those things could have happened to anyone by accident.
And now that I thought about it, that was actually kind of a win.
Maybe word of that would get back to Tanner and I’d be un-wifey-zoned.
I started towards the green room to find Chastity, but Ocelot stopped me on the way.
Oh shit. Was he gonna reprimand me for ruining the world’s easiest job?
“Hey, Raven,” he said. “You did amazing out there. Did you and Karl plan that penis grab? Or was that just improv? Either way, bravo. You gave tonight’s ceremony just the pinch of spice that it needed.”
“That was all improv, son. I just saw that big juicy cock and knew I had to touch it.” Why did I say that out loud?
“I can’t blame you,” he said. “Anyway, go ahead and grab a quick bite to eat, but don’t stray too far. You don’t want to miss the special surprise I have for you.”
“For me? Or for Chastity?”
“Whichever one of you wants it. But believe me…you’re gonna want it. I’d originally planned it for Kristen, but since her flight got delayed, it’s your lucky day.”
Oh God. I had forgotten about that. But Kristen was supposedly his girlfriend. So if the surprise had originally been planned for her, then it couldn’t be too bad… Right?